Sunday, February 26, 2006

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 26 February 2006

Actor George Clooney disclosed this week, that since he has criticized the Bush Administration, he has been followed by "a very large man, with an incredible golden tan"

The outspoken and controversial televangelist Pat Robertson admitted this week that he is "confused". He is against President Bush's plan to turn over port operations to a country tied to terrorism, but isn't sure "which world leader's assassination should be called for"

Sources tell The Garlic that, in an effort to save the deal, the Bush Administration proposed to Congressional leaders that they allow Dubai Port Worlds company to "manage the Tidal Basin" as a demonstration of their abilities

Wal-Mart, reportedly, has communicated to the White House that they would be happy to take over the port operations contract to help out President Bush

A Wal-Mart spokesperson said that they could run the system more effectively and less-costly, by hiring undocumented workers, and eliminating lunch breaks, overtime and healthcare

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield glares at President Bush, after the President rebuffed Rumsfield, saying that "yes, it's messy but stuff just doesn't happen when preparing for a hurricane"

Harvard President Larry Summers, who resigned last week
, caused more controversy when he said that it is likely "older white males are genetically predisposed not to be able to hold on to their jobs in large, educational institutions"

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