Top Ten Cloves: New Possible Reasons Joe Lieberman’s Website Crashed On Election Day

News Item: Daily Kos: Why Lieberman Website Crashed

10. Website on President Bush’s vacation schedule

9. Hadn’t kept up on the delays of Microsoft’s new Windows Vista release

8. Lieberman awaiting briefly; May have been part of new terrorist plot unveiled today

7. Site saw the early polls, indicating a Lamont blow-out and just said WTF!

6. I know we blamed the bloggers, but it was really just our way to reduce the “Get Out To Vote” effort

5. Anybody know what Lowell Weicker was doing that day?

4. Candidates for the DHS Cyber Security Post were being auditioned and ... Well ... They, they screwed up a bit testing new software

3. Wanted to top Katherine Harris for the biggest, bonehead campaign fiasco of the year

2. Just recently, handed over website maintenance to British Petroleum

1. White House wants him to say that early evidence is pointing to signs that Hezbollah, Iran and Syria may have been involved

Many political pundits are saying that, just like his website on election day, Senator Joe Lieberman’s (R+I - CT) move to remain on the ballot and run as an Independent will come up empty

The Garlic In The News - Times Online Newsdesk Weblog

While thoroughly enjoying Ned Lamont’s historic victory (beating an incumbent, sitting Senator, in a Primary Election, for the first time in 30+-years) over Senator Joe Lieberman (D, R & I -CT) last night, The Garlic discovered another good piece of news - Our Wikimania riff from Monday was picked up and linked by the Times OnLine Newsdesk Weblog

Read on the Times Online Newsdesk Weblog: Wiki-mania / ality / pedia / everything

On The Garlic: Wikimania Conference Ends Abruptly In Cacophonous Chaos

Breaking News - Developing Story! Website Rebukes Own Candidate

Lieberman’s Website Shuts Itself Down, Saying It Wants To Stay A Democrat

Site Wishes Candidate Well, But Can’t Back His Potential Independent Run

Sources have told The Garlic that, taking admitted drastic action, the website for Senator Joe Lieberman (D & R - CT) - www.Joe2006.com - shut it self down late last evening, saying it could not agree with Lieberman’s potential shift to Independent, saying it wanted to stay as a Democrat.

Lieberman campaign manager Sean Smith will not confirm that the website shut itself down, instead claiming that supporters of Lieberman’s challenger, Connecticut businessman Ned Lamont, have hacked the website and email system

Since late last evening, the site has displayed either a message of “Account Suspended” (which led Lamont backer and Daily Kos founder Markos Moulitsas Zuniga to speculate that someone on the Lieberman staff forgot to pay the web hosting bill) or "This account is currently under construction...please check back soon."

According to sources close to the Lieberman camp, computer experts, as well as a group of “MySpace-type teenagers” have been working on the servers that run the Lieberman website and came across code that offered the news that the website itself was balking at staying with Lieberman.

“The site made it clear,” said one source, “that it could no longer stay with the Senator ... It It was really spooky, like HAL in 2001, A Space Odyssey.

Along with Lieberman’s announcement, and filing of papers, that he may run as an Independent is he loses the primary to Lamont, the website cited a laundry list of “disenchantments” with the Senator, including the infamous kiss with President Bush, his criticism of fellow Democrats on confronting the President on his Iraq War policies, to Lieberman’s “Hail Mary Pass”, his sudden, and seemingly desperate, attempt this past weekend to offer a dissenting view on Iraq and distant himself from his otherwise closeness with President Bush

“This is about as bad as it gets,” offered David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?', the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party. “You have late campaign burnouts and defections ... even people that jump to other campaign but I don’t think we’ve ever seen, in this modern age, a website rebuking its’ own candidate.”

“It’s one thing, to be running a sinking ship - like Katherine Harris... But when your own website shuts down on you, on the eve of the election, saying it doesn’t agree with you or your policies, you can, pretty much throw in the towel ... You’ll be counting your votes on one hand ...”

Along with the messages for the website server about backing away from Lieberman, the website also told the experts working on it that it is the cousin to the website of former House Speaker, and indicted former Congressman Tom DeLay and that “they have been talking”

DeLay, and Texas Republicans lost in their effort to have the Supreme Court overturn lower courts, allowing the DeLay to be taken off the Texas ballot and replaced for the upcoming November election. DeLay indicated today that he will withdraw from the race and run as a “write-in” candidate

Senator Joe Lieberman (D&R - CT) may be the first candidate in the age of the World Wide Web to have his own website rebuke him and his policies, and shutting it self down on the eve of the election

Top Ten Cloves: Ideas President Bush Has For Getting Israel and Hezbollah To Agree To U.N. Resolution

News Item: Lebanon's Proposals Change Dynamics

10. We should share our Iraq Plans ... Frankly, I very surprised that the people of Lebanon don’t view and greet Israel as liberator

9. This Landis kid is going to be looking for work, maybe we can put him into the talks

8. Once Ambassador Bolton gets confirmed, we turn him loose - and even Hezbollah will have the bejeezes scared out of them

7. I was hoping “The Hammer” could have helped me, but it looks like he’s going to have to stay on the ballot and run

6. Hmmm ... A few, well-placed hints to Cheney on how good the duck and pheasant hunting is in South Lebanon

5. Why ask me? Condi’s handling it ...

4. Admit - privately - to Israel and Hezbollah that Iraq is in a Civil War and we’re thinking about redeploying the troops somewhere

3. Help me out here ... Nasrallah? Nasrallah? ... Is that a terrorist or is it that chocolaty hazelnut spread stuff

2. Before I sign this resolution, are we still talking about Shiites and Sunnis, or is there another sect that nobody’s bothered to tell me about

1. Ah, screw it ... Forget this 10-days vacation crap... I’m gonna do what I always do and take the whole damn month off

One of President Bush’s ideas to push through the U.N. Resolution is a few, well-placed hints to Vice President Dick Cheney on how good the duck and pheasant hunting is in South Lebanon

News In Brief - Wikimania Attendees Take Over Event

Wikimania Conference Ends Abruptly In Cacophonous Chaos

First Speaker Drowned Out By Attendees With Edits, Footnotes and Sub-Categories

With over 400 paid attendees, dozens of speakers, panels and workshops, the Second Annual Wikimania Conference, held this past weekend at the Harvard Law School in Cambridge, Massachusetts, looked to be like any other conference, on any other day in any other city.

Anything but.

Less then four paragraphs in his opening, welcome address, Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales was interrupted by an attendee, looking to edit and amend his remarks.

This served as a veritable green light, as more attendees rose up, shouting out their own edits, footnotes and sub-categories to Wales’ speech, and to the comments of the other attendees. Within minutes, the entire conference room was engulfed in a din of cacophonous voices

Many of the comments initially focused on the history of the welcome speech, with edits and sub-categories being yelled out, on other famous and infamous welcome speeches.

Some attendees soon produced their own projectors and began screening their own photographs, charts and graphs behind Wales, as well as pulling the images up on laptop computers, cell phones and other PDA devices.

Wales and the organizers of the conference soon abandoned the room, as scheduled speakers began engaging the attendees directly. Small groups formed around the room, and exchanges began among the various groups, agreeing or disagreeing on the edits and additions being made.

A small group remained out of the fray, busily typing into Wikipedia the account of what was happening at the conference, as well as others blogging the event in real-time.

Wikipedia has become the ubiquitous online encyclopedia that is open to anyone to make additions and edits, but with a devoted and dedicated group of individuals who oversee and maintain the site.

What may have contributed to the problem with the conference was, just last week, Stephen Colbert, from Comedy Central’s ‘Colbert Report” edited his own entry in Wikipedia, “Stephen Colbert” live, on his program

Ironically, included in Mr. Wales’ opening remarks, was a passage about security, and keeping the site accurate.

“That could mean,” Wales told The New York Times, “quality control — making sure the information is accurate — and it could mean a clearer presentation, or more information.” The emphasis going forward, Wales said, would be on quality, not quantity

According to The New York Times, a survey in the science journal Nature found four errors in Wikipedia for every three in the Encyclopedia Britannica.

When reached later in the day, Wales admitted that it was “chaotic” and that “next year, we’ll have to do a better job at laying down some rules and decorum. I’m not sure many of these people understood the difference between the conference and the site.”

Many of the comments initially focused on the history of the welcome speech, with edits and sub-categories being yelled out, on other famous and infamous welcome speeches

Don't Forget To Vote On Karl Rove's and The RNC's October Surprise

Vote On The Soon-To-Come October Surprise!

With the very much heated Fall Mid-Terms Elections on the horizon, the month of October is going to be a lot more than just falling leaves and baseball’s World Series, and Joe Lieberman’s Independent run for daylight

We have this year, a gift from the Bush Administration, namely Karl Rove and The Republican National Committee, an October Surprise, aimed at warding off the rubber-stamping Republican Congressmen and Senators from being swept out of office.

This weeks’ Garlic Poll lets you voice your vote, on what will likely be that October Surprise ... Move over or scroll up to the right-hand corner and place your vote.

And by all means, leave a comment if you think of any others we may have missed

Will the October Surprise be the White House bringing in Chrysler’s Dr. Z?

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 6 August 2006

Cuban officials this morning denied reports that Fidel Castro was gravely ill, or even had passed away, saying that he was “the picture of health”, and releasing a photo of the long-time dictator taking some swings in the batting gage






















With closing down the White House Media Room , and President Bush off on his annual vacation, the Communications Department has cut back and reduced the staff of its’ spin masters













Another setback for Apple Computer with having to restate its’ earnings for the past few years is that a new Apple logo will be launched. The new logo will be similar, but showing two or three bite marks



















Emmy-award-winning actor Jason Lee, star of the hit NBC sit-com “My Name Is Earl”, the show about Lee, as Earl, taking winning a lottery to change his life positively and going around apologizing to anyone he has offended, is said to be irate with rumors that the network is said to be considering replacing him with Mel Gibson, and renaming the show “My Name Is Mel”














Cyclist Floyd Landis, now that the second test results has shown positive for illegal substances, says he’s eagerly awaiting the results of Tuesday’s Connecticut Democratic Primary to see how Senator Joe Lieberman (D & R - CT) fares. Landis indicated that he may take Lieberman’s lead, if Lieberman loses, and compete in the 2007 Tour de France as an Independent

It’s crashing terrible ... Oh, the humanity ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 30 - August 5 2006

“It’s crashing terrible ... Oh, the humanity ... This is the worst of the worst catastrophes in the world! Oh, it's crashing... This is the worst thing I've ever witnessed....."

That is from the radio broadcast of the landing of the Hindenburg, in Lakehurst, New Jersey, back on May 6, 1937

It could also serve the voters of this past weeks’ Garlic Poll, who the majority voted that the Bush and Rice Foreign Policy is likely to be labeled as The Hindenburg II Diplomacy

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 30 - August 5 2006

Many past Presidents had very proactive and comprehensive diplomacy programs, one giving birth to the term “Shuttle Diplomacy”. President George Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s diplomatic efforts will likely end up being labeled ...

1. The Hindenburg II Diplomacy - Wherever they land, the area erupts in flames 36%

2. Diplomacy? What Diplomacy? 25%

3. Amtrak Diplomacy - Because it keeps going off the track and crashing 20%

4. The Shuffle Diplomacy - Hey, we just plant the seeds of freedom. The master plan is to leave the entire mess to the next President 18%

This week’s Poll - To ward off the predicted disastrous Mid-Term Elections, in which the Republicans are said will lose the majority in the House, and possibly in the Senate as well, Karl Rove and the RNC’s October surprise will likely be ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Nobody In Bush Administration Or Pentagon Will Say Iraq Is In Civil War

News Item: Iraq at Risk Of Civil War, Top Generals Tell Senators

10. Can’t call all those fake Elevated Terror Alerts if it’s a Civil War

9. The Sunni’s and Shia all wear multiple-colored clothing so would be hard to make the Blue-Gray analogies

8. Isn’t testing well in the focus groups for the Mid-Term Elections, giving too much of a edge to the Democrats and Liberals

7. President prefers to leave it to the next President to label it a Civil War

6. Need to clear up and fix this Senators-Only Elevator fiasco before we can get to the question of it’s a Civil War or not

5. What, you think Rumsfeld was going to give Hillary Clinton a bone like that!

4. Calling it a Civil War will screw-up all the plans to expand and invade Iran and Syria

3. Too much trouble auditioning and documenting all those reenactment players that will surely follow

2. Would default, and cost billions more, on all those Halliburton contracts, that stipulate a “War On Terror”

1. They’d have to come up with new false intelligence, and out another CIA covert agent to go with the Civil War storyline

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, testifying yesterday before the Senate Armed Services Committee, said he was reluctant to label the conflict in Iraq as Civil War, mostly due to it would be hard to make the Blue-Gray analogies, with the Sunni’s and Shia all wearing multiple-colored clothing

Top Ten Cloves: Things Senate May Do To Keep Non-Senators Off The Senators-Only Elevator

News Item: Washington Traffic Jam? Senators-Only Elevator

10. It’s on Department of Homeland Security’s “To-Do” list, just as soon as they secure the ports and border, and fill that Cyber Security Post

9. Bill Frist is studying all the videotape from the security cameras so he can make a proper diagnosis of the problem

8. If they're Diebold elevators, that explains why their so easily compromised

7. The White House won’t like it, but Senators can just raise a Terrorist Alert Threat to clear everyone out of it

6. White tourists are politely asked to leave; African-American tourists have the Capital Police put on their asses

5. Simple - Just add another amendment to the Patriot Act, or the War Crimes Act of 1996

4. Get the Arizona Minutemen to stand guard; They won’t actually stop anyone from getting on elevator but will make a call to someone to report it

3. Not sure but nothing a few hundred-thousand-dollars in earmarks couldn’t figure out

2. Republican Leadership wants Ann Coulter to write new elevator rules, but who knows what elevator policy she’ll plagiarize

1. Actually, Joe Lieberman doesn’t have a problem with it - He just switches to another elevator

Many U.S. Senators, including Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) are miffed that tourist and other non-government persons are using the Senators-Only elevator and are considering harsh measures, such as the Patriot Act, or appropriating hundreds-of-thousands of dollars in earmarks to study the problem

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Acts Of Atonement For Mel Gibson

News Item: The Passion Of the Apology

10. Send him hunting with Vice President Dick Cheney

9. Lindsey Lohan could use a new press agent, or chaperone, no?

8. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld on Gibson’s Atonement: “Oh, I don’t know. You know, I thought about that last night, and just musing over the words, the phrase, and what constitutes it. … It clearly is being stimulated by people who would like to have what could be characterized as Atonement and win it, but I’m not going to be the one to decide if, when or at all

7. Assign him to L.A. County Sheriffs Department, but he only responds to drunk driving calls

6. The ultimate movie and career penalty - Have him censored by Google and removed from their search results (just like they did in China, but this time, only for Gibson)

5. Walk around for six-months with breast implants, filled with liquid sucrose

4. When Mitt Romney reopens Boston’s Big Dig Tunnels, put Mel in the drivers seat for the first car through

3. Mad Max Thunderdome-version PSA on Drunk Driving - Gibson is sent down Pacific Coast Highway, sitting backwards on a donkey, with giant, Mardi Gras head - and skull cap

2. Take over as Campaign Manager for Katherine Harris

1. Sentence him to extremely harsh public service - 80-hours of talking with Ann Coulter

Is a Mad Max Thunderdome-version PSA on Drunk Driving in Mel Gibson’s future?

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal

Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone

Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Sources have told The Garlic that Major League Baseball is expected to announce this week that San Francisco Giant slugger Barry Bonds has tested positive, with results showing “high levels” of Floyd Landis testosterone in his system.

This comes on the heels of today’s news that Landis’ second test has come up positive, showing evidence of synthetic, not naturally produced testosterone.

Landis, winner of this years’ Tour de France, said last week, defending himself against the charges after the first test showed over double the level of testosterone, that he runs “naturally high levels” and that the second test would absolve him.

Bonds has long been under the cloud of suspected steroid use, which was detailed in the book “Game of Shadows: Barry Bonds, BALCO, and the Steroids Scandal that Rocked Professional Sports," co-authored by Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams

Baseball, Congress, and Steroids

With the furor growing over steroid usage, Congress held hearings last year, following revelations by former baseball star Jose Canseco, in his book, “Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits and How Baseball Got Big”. In the book, Canseco offered that steroids were “as prevalent in the late 1980s and 1990s as a cup of coffee."

The House Government Reform Committee grilled former and current baseball stars, including Canseco, former Canseco teammate Mark McGwire, Baltimore Orioles stars Rafael Palmeiro, and Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling. Chicago White Sox' Frank Thomas gave video testimony.

Bonds, it has been reported, began using steroids after the 1998, and watching McGwire and Sosa thrill baseballs fans with a heated homerun race, in which McGwire ended up shattering the long-held record of former New York Yankee Roger Maris, passing Maris at 61 and finishing the season with 70 homeruns.

In 2001, Bonds broke Mark McGwire’s single-season home-run record by clubbing 73.

Last year, Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig established an independent investigation into steroid use in Major League Baseball, appointing former Senator George Mitchell to lead the case

The Mitchell Investigation, as reported by The Garlic, got off to a rocky start, when misfiled papers led to Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI) censuring Barry Bonds, and Major League Baseball, and the Mitchell, looking into President Bush’s illegal wiretapping.

Landis, Allegedly, Head of Ring Selling Own Testosterone

The positive test of Landis’ testosterone opens up a new front in the steroid investigation, as Landis had already been eyed, according to Antonio Ricci, publisher of “Pedaling Piss”, the quarterly magazine that tracks professional cycling, and all the steroid rumors, scandals and confirmations of illegal substance usage.

“There have been rumors,” said Ricci, “that Landis was the head of a ring that was selling his own testosterone. It was said to be very substantial, very lucrative.”

Ricci said that cycling officials looking into the Landis DNA Ring, as it was known inside the cycling universe, didn’t see any traces of it seeping out of cycling.

“They just, kind of, pushed it off to the side,” added Ricci.

Now, with Landis testing positive, and Bonds testing positive for Landis’ testosterone, it’s likely, said Ricci, that the cycling officials will team up with the Mitchell investigation team, to compare notes and see if it leads any further into baseball.

Bonds Said To Be Seeking DNA From Powerful Leaders

There was no comment from Bonds on the test results showing he had Landis’ testosterone.

Sources close to the San Francisco Giants report that Bonds was getting “desperate” and “taking chances”, obsessed with getting the all-time homerun record this year.

Bonds is chasing history, going after Hank Aaron’s record of 755. Bonds currently sits at 722.

There have been unconfirmed reports and rumors that Bonds has been canvassing around the country and world, for the DNA and testosterone of other powerful people, including actress Lindsey Lohan, Cuban Leader Fidel Castro, Google founders, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, and U.S. President George Bush

Supposedly, Bonds had an agreement with Academy-Award-winning actor and director Mel Gibson, but cancelled the deal for Gibson’s testosterone after discovering Gibson’s alcoholism, Anti-Semitism and penchant for run-ins with law enforcement

Baseball and Steroids On The Garlic

Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids

Second Palmeiro Bombshell: Tests Positive For Cialis

South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs

Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

San Francisco Giant slugger Barry Bonds may soon start swinging the bat with his legs, after testing positive for Tour de France winner Floyd Landis’ testosterone in his system

Top Ten Cloves: Things President Bush Is Thinking About With The News Of Castro’s Illness

News Item: Ailing Castro Transfers Powers

10. Better call Procurement and order a bunch of picture frames ... When Castro dies, we’ll want to plaster his face all over the place, just like Zarqawi..

9. I wonder if he’s giving the brother that solid gold telephone, like they showed in that Godfather movie

8. Let’s get Alberto to have someone look into any connection to Castro and the Mel Gibson thing ... We might be able to swing the West Coast Cubans to our side

7. Condi ... Forget about the cease-fire stuff and come on over here and play me a little something with a Cuban tinge to it

6. Better get the Congress to ready another tax break... I feel a economic boost coming - and with a whole bunch of Cuban cigars coming this way ..

5. I wonder if Lieberman will put in papers to run Cuba?

4. . If it meant spreading freedom and democracy throughout Cuba, I’d give’em a belly kiss

3. Hmmm ,,, Maybe I should get the Joint Chiefs and Cabinet together ... While Castro is down, we might be able to spin this thing again and tie Cuba into Sept 11th and WMD’s

2. Let’s beef up the Absentee Ballot rules in our favor ... If I come out and push democracy for Cuba, we’re likely to lose hundreds-of-thousands of voters in Little Havana, ‘cause they’ll want to go home ...

1. Transferring power to his brother ... Hmmm ... Of course! ... That’s what we do for Jeb in ’08... I just transfer my power to him

This Just In! Cable News Looking Hard To Fill Void Of Cease-Fire

Israeli Pause, And No Bombs Falling, May Force Cable News To Go Dark

Look For Pump Up Of Mel Gibson Tirade To Carry Through Labor Day

Cable news executives are scrambling this morning for content and programming, after Israeli announced last night a pause in their relentless air attack of Hezbollah in Southern Lebanon for 48-Hours

This comes after world outcry, following an attack this weekend, in Qana, Lebanon, that saw 57 civilians killed, with most of them children

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is claiming to have agreements that will produce a cease-fire this week, even though Israel indicated that they will continue to attack Southern Lebanon if Hezbollah continues firing rockets into northern Israel.

“The only thing better than a cease-fire,” said one Cable News executive, who asked to remain anonymous, “is the promise or prediction of one, so we can probably milk a few days out of that ... Run the archival footage ... a full crew of talking heads ... We’ll just have to play it by the seat of our pants ...”

Fox News: “Not Enough of a Hook, Without The Bombs, To Go Wall-to-Wall”

Cable News, which has gone on with, virtually, 24-hour coverage since the escalation of violence between Israel and Hezbollah, is feeling the crunch. The possibility of a cease-fire may create a huge void for the outlets.

Roger Ailes, chief of Fox News said that Fox may go with ‘Best Of” shows, until the action picks up again.

“There’s not enough of a hook, without the bombs falling, to go wall-to-wall with coverage,” said Ailes.

“Take the tsunami last year,” added Ailes. ‘By itself, a one, maybe two-day story ... But throw in the ex-Presidents, and with one of them named Clinton, and it gets our base riled up.”

Ailes indicated that last weeks’ rant by Fox Anchor Sean Hannity, over the evacuation of Lebanon, and not using the idle buses, “gave us a minor bump” and, that if the cease-fire takes hold, he’ll likely run “Best of Bill O’Reilly ” and “Best of John Gibson

CNN: Some Screens Dark and Cooper Unplugged - Again

At CNN, sources tell The Garlic, that Anderson Cooper is considering staying in the Middle East and running his show, unscripted, just “off-the-cuff” talk, or do a walk around, “like he did in New Orleans”, and talk with regular people

Veteran newsman Wolf Blitzer, host of CNN’s “Situation Room” said he was optimistic.

“We cover the world on the Situation Room,” said a cautious Blitzer. “We may have to turn off a few of our big screens that are on the wall behind me, but we’ll have enough news to get through.”

MSNBC: Warned To Keep Rita Cosby Out Of Mid-East

For new head honcho, Dan Abrams, a cease-fire will place a huge dent in his establishing a programming schedule for MSNBC

“We’re hoping for something to happen,” said a beleaguered Abrams. “I mean, we’ve had no major, ripped-from-the-headlines legal cases ... The Duke Rape Case is kind of fizzling out and there’s nothing on horizon ... Summer’s almost over and no one’s gone missing that we can sink our teeth into ... No cruise ship mayhem to report ... It’s been tough. ...”

MSNBC, who has their warehouse of documentaries that they can fill the air with, said they have no plans to send anchor Rita Cosby over to the Middle East. One senior executive who spoke on background indicated that the network was “specifically warned not to send her”, that her voice may send Israelis scurrying to bomb shelters, fearing that another Hezbollah rocket attack is coming.

The Passion Of Mel Gibson, Or The DNA Of Floyd Landis May Carry The Day, At Least Until Summers’ End

All the cable executives concurred that the Friday arrest of actor Mel Gibson, and his anti-Semitic remarks to police at the time of his arrest, may “have legs”.

The Academy-Award-wining Gibson was pulled over for allegedly speeding by Los Angeles County Sheriffs and the subsequent blood alcohol test revealed a 0.12 reading. The state's legal limit is .08.

Gibson, according to the police report, let loose with a tirade of anti-Semitic comments during his arrest, which has set-off a firestorm of publicity over the arrest .

Michael Stickings’ The Reaction asks “Who Would Jesus Slur ” and over at The Moderate Voice, Joe Gandelman, while denouncing the anti-Semitism, points out other blog postings defending free speech and the Gibson’s “freedom of stupidity”

And if Gibson’s foot-in-mouth doesn’t have legs, Tour de France winner Floyd Landis might have to pedal his way into the cable news hurricane to save the day.

It was announced after his crowning ceremony that the cyclist Landis tested positive for illegal substances, an abnormally high test level for the steroid testosterone.

Landis claims he is innocent and that the unusually high level of testosterone is naturally produced in his body.

“This could turn into something, said Antonio Ricci, publisher of “Pedaling Piss”, the quarterly magazine that tracks professional cycling, and all the steroid rumors, scandals and confirmations of illegal substance usage. “It’s bigger over here, in Europe, than America, but if Landis starts naming names, you’ll see this thing explode.”

“If a cease-fire takes hold, than, what we could really use,” offered a news producer, “is for a famous white woman athlete, who is on record for spouting anti-Semitic remarks, and has been recently accused of taking steroids, to go missing, or feared murdered, while on a cruise ... Now that would carry us straight into the Fall Sweeps ...”

Rita Cosby won’t be Live & Direct from the Middle East anytime soon, as MSNBC has been “warned” to keep her out, that her voice may send Israelis scurrying to bomb shelters, fearing that another Hezbollah rocket attack is coming

Top Ten Cloves: How Joe Lieberman Handled New York Times Editorial Endorsing Ned Lamont

News Item: Editorial - A Senate Race in Connecticut

10. Huddled with Vice President Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Ken Mehlman and the RNC Machine, to see if they had any ideas on how to handle it

9. Exhausted, from riding around New York City all day, buying all the copies of the Sunday New York Times

8. Made a lunch date with Judy Miller, to get some dirt on Editor Bill Keller, or Publisher Arthur Sulzberger

7. Livid and filing lawsuit, believing that the line about “warped version of bipartisanship” was a derogatory jab at his kiss with President Bush

6. Let Fox News know his schedule is open for any and all interviews

5. Already had it covered, when, weeks ago, filed papers for a subscription to The Washington Post

4. Called Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) to see if he wanted to swap races

3. After checking on Senate Doping rules, had staff looking into getting some of Floyd Landis’ Testosterone so he could finish strong

2. Frustrated, after spending all Saturday evening waving a fistful of covert CIA Agents’ names that Bob Novak could expose in his column, just to deflect the news of the endorsement

1. Cheap campaign photo stunt of lining bird cage bottom with NYT Editorial page went haywire, as trained parrot went off-script and began jabbering while cameras rolling “We endorse Ned Lamont in the Democratic primary for Senate in Connecticut ... Squawk! ... We endorse Ned Lamont in the Democratic primary for Senate in Connecticut ... Squawk!”

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 30 July 2006

A new cable report from the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad says that the situation continues to deteriorate, with even pets are being targeted by the insurgency















Sources tell The Garlic that Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda have filed suit in International Court against Hezbollah, for Copyright Infringement on using videotape releases about their past or future terrorist attacks and are asking the court to issue an immediate Cease-and-Desist order, as well as seeking unspecified damages

Oliver Stone, whose new film, “World Trade Center”, opens this month, announced his next project will be on the life of former Enron Chairman Ken Lay, and, more specifically, the controversy and conspiracy theories surrounding Lay's recent death

Sources close to Stone say he's found something in a piece of footage from Lay's funeral, with the hearse, seemingly, going "back, and to the left"

The U.S. Border Patrol say that the finalists are down to two, in their competitive bid process to outsource border security

Tina Fey announced this past week that she is leaving her post as Head Writer for "Saturday Night Live", to take an acting role as a Head Writer in a new sit-com, "30 Rock" that will debut this Fall on NBC

Fey said the role "isn't much of a stretch" and that "There'll be no pressure to write good material - much like my last job"

A rub and a steam, and I'll be as good as new ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 23 - July 29 2006

Well, another week of spirited voting, and one that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice must have been paying attention to (she is, after all, back in the Middle East today; She must really want that neck rub) ...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 23 - July 29 2006

Since she doesn’t have a Cease-Fire or Peace Plan, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, in her trip this week to the Middle East, will ...

1. See if she can get one of the Israeli, Palestinian or Lebanese leaders to give her a neck rub 26%

2. Offer the Lebanese the use of the New Orleans Superdome to house their refugees 25%

3. To bring the Neocons back into the base, will take a poll on how many will back the President’s plans to invade Iran 25%

4. Continue what the President started at the G8 Summit and do some more dissing of U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan 24%

This week’s Poll - Many past Presidents had very proactive and comprehensive diplomacy programs, one giving birth to the term “Shuttle Diplomacy”. President George Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s diplomatic efforts will likely end up being labeled ...

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