To aid in his fight against the conspiracy indictment, Congressman Tom DeLay has had a bank of microphones surgically attached to his body so he can plead his innocence and smear District Attorney Ronnie Earl and the Democratic Party
EPA officials and scientists are baffled at the sudden growth of polka dot bowling pins popping out of the infected waters that have flooded New Oreans
Vice President Dick Cheney, to dispel rumors of his health status following his recent surgery, announced that he has signed on for the lead role of Don Lockwood in a Broadway revival of "Singing In The Rain", slated to open in the Spring of 2006
"Barry, I don't know if you took steroids or not, but I wanted you to be the first to know that I am filing a lawsuit against Major League Baseball and appealing to Congress, to protect my homerun record"
"In our politburo, it's Maxwell House just doesn't have the same ring as the song with the firefighters ... Can we try it again?"
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