Friday, December 31, 2010

Bon Annee! ...Happy New Year

Good Afternoon Garlic Fans, we hope you are having a most enjoyable Holiday season.

It's been some time since our last posting , and, unfortunately, we are still in the (L4 for any ambitious med students reading this), and it comes with the added sidebar of Numb Feet, which is stumping the Docs attending to me.

We did the three-injection program this past summer, and, after Shot #2, my symptoms escalated.

Physical Therapy offered some mitigation for a short period, and the various meds given haven't been much use (one of them, Vicodin, actually landed me in the hospital for two-days, with some unusual chest-tightening).

Currently, I am on Gabepentin, which is actually an anti-seizure med that they have had success with, off-label, for neurological issues.

An EMG test is next in order, a testing of the nerves by jolting me with electricity, to see that they are all firing properly, and, based on those results, the next course of action will be determined.

Our goal in the soon-to-arrive 2011, is to get back to writing daily, so, keep you eyes peeled, and bookmarks marked.

The Party-of-Noicans taking majority in the House is going to rival an unending Marx Brothers Film Festival ...

And Mommy Moose is still front-and-center, having feed an Alaskan-sized avalanche of quarters into that "15-Minutes-of-Fame" machine.

Yes, 2011 is going to be fun.

Happy New Year, once again!

With all the BS, and calamities we've had to endure, we'll let Joe Cocker, and The Crusaders, take us out with our nomination that this tune be the official New Years theme.




Thursday, July 08, 2010

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Surprises With LeBron James Announcement Tonight


News Item: LeBron James, ESPN to Air "The Decision": Obnoxious Summer of Me Reaches Climax


10. Shocking confession - It was he who had affair with Al Gore

9. Retiring ... Plans on running for President in 2012, on Tea Party platform - Will name Palin running-mate

8. Retro Ball-Busting - Just as James gets ready to say where he's going, ESPN cuts off to "Heidi"

7. Shocker! ...Deal worked out between USA and Russia, James traded for all the spys, leads Ruskies to Olympic Gold in 2012, rename country after him, all advertising carries his image, and then retired and put out to stud thousands of Little LeBrons

6. James taking year off ... Will apply all his basketball prowess to cleaning up oil in Gulf

5. Along with saying what team he'll play for, announces he's coming out, plants big smacker on Jim Grey

4. Staying with Cavaliers, moving, not just team, but the entire city to new state, renaming it "LeBronJamesville"

3. Announces not going anywhere until Lindsey Lohan is free

2. Says going to Knicks, contingent upon Dancing Harry coming out of retirement

1. Announces he's a new NBA franchise - Will play against league next season, all by himself


Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Heatwave

Okay ... It can stop now ... Just turn it off ... Had enough, thank you ... Thanks for comin' ... See ya ... Just turn it off ... Had enough... Thanks, but really, we've had enough ... No, no, no ... You don't have to keep it going ... Really, just turn it off ... It's okay ... Really ... It's okay ... Don't need anymore ... All set, thanks ...


Cal Tjader and Carmen McRae Heatwave






Monday, July 05, 2010

Come Back, Shane! ... Come Back!

Good Evening Garlic Fans ...

Once again, we come (and being the day after the 4th), it can be said, with a firework barge-full of apologies, for our extended absence.

When last we popped in, some three-weeks ago (not counting the First Day of Summer, and our prognostication on the recently fired cock-waving, muscleheaded military commander, General Stanley A. McChrystal), we had been diagnosed with a Herniated Disc (in the L4 region), and was soon off to a second Ortho Guy, for a shot in the back.

Well, we received said shot-in-the-back, and since, only marginal improvement.

Some of the pain has been mitigated, however, numbness of the foot goes on, and, the cramping has been virtually unabated, disrupting sleep to the point of not being able to call it sleep (We would gladly pay you Thursday, for some sleep today).



We've been carrying on with our homefront project, as best we can (and that is behind schedule, as well), and none of this has had us in a creative mood to write, missing, for the first time since we started writing The Garlic, our annual tirade of a July 4th Garlictorial.

Most fortunately, and unknowingly, someone picked up the slack on that front for us.

Our good friend Barry Crimmins, who has an awesome post up for the Annual Pap Holiday, "Fourth of July Remarks For Any Occasion (in the form of notes for the platform speaker)";
Continued remarks about how we wouldn't be able to play golf or even go to a mall this morning without our supported dupes' absolutely needless sacrifice in inordinately far-flung places. Places where the locals have learned that, to Americans, appreciation for democracy can only come at the cost of the arms, legs, eyesight, mental health and even the lives of countless innocents whose only prior crime was to have never thought of our nation in any terms, at all. But now they know us, thanks to the, at times, literal human sacrifice of our very children to a heartless yet absurdly self-righteous foreign policy that is enforced by retaliation against almost anyone who makes the mistake of passing through somewhere, where someone we really hate might also pass through at some point.

That's what makes us different from the terrorists.



And if Barry's post wasn't enough, a War of Words erupted in the Comments Section, and a few dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds perhaps Wannabe Flying Monkeys, since their blather was little more that the tired-and-tattered, Right Wing Dale Carnegie toast of "if you don't love this country, you should leave it", attempted to lecture and humble Barry with that tripe.

I mean, that's like showing up to a Rave, in a John Travolta-Saturday-Night-Fever-white-bell-bottomed-suit, and thinking you're major cool.

I think Barry handled, dealt with, and settled, that particular Right Wing lament back when Nixon was in office, so he swatted that away like a home run hit at Home Run Derby (easy-as-pie, for our baseball-challenged readers - you can go read our Special Essay to bone-up on the Grand Ol' Pastime)

So inane were these voices from Nitwitville, that James Wolcott had to use his Vanity Fair column, to call out, specifically, Darlene Click's vapidness, which will likely, draw in all of Click's Wannabe Flying Monkeys, to read Wolcott, and then click over to read Barry post, for the context.

Hum Stars and Stripes Forever to yourself, as those Wannabe Flying Monkeys suddenly feel like they don't whether to piss, or wind their watches.

Back to business, with a Heatwave settling in this week (ask me in a few days how that "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" thing is workin' for me), and the Back/Herniated Disc thing still playing havoc, and feeling like we have lost our writing mo-jo, we can't say when we will resume regular posting, other than the nebulous "soon".

So, go dig into Barry Crimmins' delicious holiday treat and keep checking back for any fresh post we sneak in.


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Start The Pools ... How Soon McChrystal Becomes A Faux News Analyst?

Take a few days off, and, oh boy, all kinds of things hitting the fan ...

Reading Michael Hastings' 'The Runaway General', it hard to tell if it is a good piece of journalism, or fiction, perhaps a character synopsis for some new HBO mini-series in the offing, about a cock-waving, muscle-headed military commander..

I mean, if General Stanley A. McChrystal were cast in 'Apocalypse Now', while Robert Duvall's Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore was blabbering about "I love the smell of napalm in the morning .... The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like ...victory ...", the camera would have to pan, to McChrystal, sitting on the beach, eating napalm out his helmet, and muttering what a candy-ass Kilgore was.



Go read 'The Runaway General', for, as you do, throughout, despite all the confidence, bravado and over-the-top machoism of McChrystal, it says over, and over, of how fucked we are in Afghanistan

It is said that he will be going to his meeting with Obama today, resignation letter in-hand, and Obama is going to have to accept it (if it hasn't already been demanded), as part of the show of not being a pansy, and letting a tin-horn commander, and the Pentagon, walk all over him.



No rearview mirrors in the room today.

So, boys and girls, should McChrystal walk out of the Oval Office today, a retired muscle-headed, cock-waving, former military commander, how soon before he beelines it to Faux News, to add fresh meat to their propaganda machine?

Start cutting up the office pool squares ....


Bonus Links

Alex Pareene: Why did Gen. McChrystal talk to Rolling Stone?

C.J. Chivers: General Faces Unease Among His Own Troops, Too

Spencer Ackerman: Biden Probably Wants to Renew His Rolling Stone Subscription

Doris Kearns Goodwin: What Would Lincoln Do?

Yves Smith: Afghanistan: Pentagon Payments to Warlords Undermine Central Government


Monday, June 21, 2010

Happy First Day of Summer!

It's here!

Today, the first day of Summer!



Locally, it's expected to be a spectacular day (yesterday was extremely humid), so being on the DL will be that much easier, having a very fine day to recuperate.

As has been our tradition the past few years, we post one of, if not the tops, coolest version of the Gershwin gem, from his opera, 'Porgy and Bess'.

Revel in the music and enjoy the day!

angelique kidjo summertime





Saturday, June 19, 2010

It's Been, Kind of, That St. James Feeling

Good Morning Garlic Fans

Once again, we have to apology, profusely, for our AWOL status.

It’s been a "when it rains, it pours" situation.

When we last surfaced, at the beginning of the month, we were talking about our ailing shoulder, the Rotator Cuff issue, and relief did come, by way of a Cortisone injection (it took a few days to start feeling better).

Ahhh, but that was only half the story.



We had a concurrent issue going on, with pain in the lower back, that included radiating down into the thigh, or hamstring (sometimes both), and causing numbing of the foot.

While pain, and the numbness, were consistent, their levels were not, ranging for low annoyance, to feeling like the Guerre de Cent Ans was reignited, with sharp, pulsating, crippling waves of pain.

So, off to the Doc's again, from there, an MRI and, I wasn't crazy, as results showed a Herniated Disc (in the L4 region), and we'll be off to another Doc in the coming week, for treatment, that, hopefully, will bring some relief (as "cramping" has entered into the picture over the last week-plus, including giving us a new experience - a foot cramp, while the foot was numb!).

We can't say for sure when we resume regular posting.

Being on the DL of so long, we're going to need some writing rehab, and we may attempt some softball satire in the coming days.

In the meantime, for the moment, we'll let the great Jack Teagarden sing our woes.


JACK TEAGARDEN St. James Infirmary