Sunday, July 06, 2008

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Google Can Provide Better Day Care

News Item: On Day Care, Google Makes a Rare Fumble

10. Out with the "organic, natural" food and in with cheaper McDonald's Happy Meals!

9. Offset cost for parents by renting the Google Day Care kids out as focus groups

8. Make the kids generate revenue - put'em to work on the Google Phone

7. Send the kids out on the grounds of the Google Campus, collecting bugs, and then announce the new "Google Gas" (but only in Beta-Mode, fill-ups by Invite-Only)

6. Resolve Viacom dispute with own content - Start putting a daily "Best of Google Day Care Bloopers" up on YouTube

5. Hire Chuck Norris to run the program - Just his staring at it will make it perform better

4. Cut down on Waiting List and notify parents of acceptance by having them hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" search bar

3. Weed out any of the toddlers who have been using Google Earth for "pool parties"

2. Sponsor multi-million-dollar contest - Google Day Care Preschoolers vs. John McCain, on using the Internet

1. Public Service - Have them do a group "Not Alex" commercial

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