Saturday, April 18, 2009

More Susan Boyle ... And More WOW!

A H/T to Leeandra Nolting, over on Open Salon, for the posting.

It seems that the Wonder Singer, Susan Boyle has had a recording out there, as Leeandra notes "She recorded the song back in 1999 to raise money for a local charity. Only 1000 copies of the CD were ever made."

And, here it is, an old chestnut, and real gem.

Exclusive: Susan Boyle's first ever song release, revealed

Swifttallon offers;

Only 1000 copies of the disc were ever produced, but weve got hold of the long-forgotten recording and its now on our site. A showbiz insider said: This is a real coup for the Record. The whole world would have wanted to find this.

People will be scrambling to get their hands on this CD. They will be like gold dust soon.

Susan, 48, of Blackburn, West Lothian, has gone from obscurity to worldwide fame in less than a week after her amazing Britains Got Talent debut.

So far, her performance of I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables has attracted more than 16 MILLION hits on YouTube. And yesterday, she was doing the rounds of Americas top morning TV chat shows.


Last night, it emerged that Susan has also been offered the chance to be a guest on the Oprah Winfrey show.

And BGT supremo Simon Cowell reckons that if the appearance goes ahead, it will guarantee that her debut album will top the charts in the States.
Hmmm ... Seems like there may be, yet another, remake, of "A Star Is Born" in the making ...

Well, hopefully, a more upbeat and happier one ...

Consider This A Public Service

And, in more that 140 characters.

It's a Twitter-Kind-of-World these days.

You can't watch a news program (cable, or other) without being badgered to go to Blathering Anchor #1, or Sad Sack Sidekick #2's Twitter, to catch their self-promoting dribble.

And, now, the education pitches start, so you can be cool, and have proper etiquette out on Twitter ... You know, play nice in the sandbox with the other Twits ...

That brings us to Sean Ludwig, over on, and his recent post, "Top 13 Twitter Don'ts"

If you're one of those new users, you may be baffled by Twitter's peculiar culture, or nervous that you'll commit some kind of microblogging faux pas.

Don't worry, we're here to help. While there aren't specific rules for how to use Twitter, avoiding these 13 Don'ts will help you fit right in—and may even gain you some adoring new followers.
Yeah, with blogging, it all about "links", and, now, with Twitter, it's all about "followers".

If you don't have eight-hundred-gillion followers, well, you're just in Loserville.

You can go over to Ludwig's post to read the all 13, but there was one that stood out;
13. Don't tweet your bathroom habits. Seriously. Just don't do it
I'm not sure this one needed to be articulated, yet, I suppose, for the 1% of users that may be inclined to think that such a tweet would be interesting, I guess it needed to be stated ...

Hey, and don't forget, FOLLOW ME!

Bonus Twitter Tweeps

Elise Ackerman: More than 140 characters from Biz Stone of Twitter

Henry Blodget: Twitter Business Model Found!

Simon Dumenco: The Real Meaning of Ashton Kutcher's 1M Twitter Followers ...If This Dude's at the Pinnacle of the Attention Economy, the Attention Economy Needs a Bailout

Rio Palof: Twitter switch for Guardian, after 188 years of ink

Roland Hedley, Star Journalist

This Date ... On The Garlic

18 April 2008... On The Garlic

ABC Plants Its Flag

OOPS! ... Hillary's At It Again!

Reich - "Obama for President"

18 April 2007... On The Garlic

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day; Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged

Top Ten Cloves: Ways President Bush Can Sweeten The Offer To Secure A New War Czar

18 April 2006... On The Garlic

President, forcefully, announces “I’m the decider”; White House Stumbles, Late Providing Wagons To Circle Around Rumsfeld; President Said To Be Irate With Paperwork Snafus, Vendor Shortages; FEMA Asked To Appropriate Katrina Trailers

Top Ten Cloves: What Would Be Different If Rumsfeld Was A Dog, But Still Secretary of Defense

18 April 2005... On The Garlic

Steinbrenner Calls In FBI To Hunt For 'Real' Yankee's'

Sideways Team Uncorks Again; Begin Shoot on Sequel, Rightside-Up

Top Ten Cloves: Reason People Filed Their Taxes Late

Friday, April 17, 2009

Roland Hedley, Star Journalist

Good treat today, as Garry Trudeau has an article in The New Yorker this week, on one of his Doonesbury characters, the intrepid journalist, Roland Hedley (take your pick, of a bevy of dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds, of who Roland is a composite of - Hint, for at least, one of them: Al Capone's Vault).

The Tweets Of Roland Hedley

It's hysterical!

Here's a snip;

Ankara. Bought chunk of hash for my oldest. Press bus went ape-shit. What the heck is “Midnight Express”? 10:17 A.M. Apr 6th

Oh, THAT “Midnight Express.” 10:19 A.M. Apr 6th

O.K., ditched hash, planted it on Le Monde reporter. Thanks for caring, Tweeps, never got 80 direct messages before. 11:23 A.M. Apr 6th
There more, including some tremendous riffs of Roland in England, with the Queen.

Go check out The Tweets Of Roland Hedley

H/T to Greg Mitchell (@GregMitch)

This Date ... On The Garlic

17 April 2008... On The Garlic

Charlie and George Go To A Debate ...

17 April 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At The White House Easter Egg Roll

Garlic Poll - Bush Declassifying Results

Thursday, April 16, 2009

From The "You Never Know" Department

As Gomer Pyle might say, "Surprise, Surprise!"

No doubt, if you caught only a few minutes of television yesterday, no matter the channel you were tuned into, you may have seen this story.

Susan Boyle: Unemployed 47-year-old virgin becomes overnight music superstar

When 47-year-old small town spinster Susan Boyle stepped on to the stage of Britain's Got Talent and announced she was unemployed, had never been married and "never been kissed, actually," few in the audience would have wondered why. With unkempt hair and Leonid Breshnev eyebrows, and mention of her ten-year-old cat "Pebbles," the Blackburn, Scotland lass resembled basically every other reality TV talent show timewaster who talks big and delivers nothing but personal humiliation on a national stage.

But then Susan Boyle opened her mouth and sang I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables, and her world changed forever.

The audience rose within seconds to applaud her incredible voice as the celebrity judges sat open-mouthed, and remained standing to the end, delivering a standing ovation that had even the most hardened reality TV snob tearing up.

Journalist and TV host Piers Morgan said, "Without a doubt that was the biggest surprise I have had in three years on the show. When you stood there with that cheeky grin and said, 'I wanna be like Elaine Paige', everyone was laughing at you. No one is laughing now. That was stunning, an incredible performance. Amazing. I'm reeling from shock."


The internet duly exploded with Susan Boyle-mania, with her YouTube video bringing 5.6 million viewings in just three days. Her performance has been seen on CNN and been plastered on newspaper pages from Australia to New York.


All of this fuss must be difficult to comprehend for the youngest of nine children who had given up a potential singing career to look after her sick mother, but it's just beginning. Boyle will be back for the second round of the series, which she's currently rated at odds of 5/2 of winning by UK bookmakers.
Yeah, she came out, dowdy-looking, pretty much the quintessential "before" picture, and you could see, everyone in the hall, the audience, the judges, just rolled their eyes, with little balloons popping over their heads, saying "What the hell is she doing here".

One commenter, over on Open Salon offered "She looks like the lady who fed the birds in Mary Poppins".

But boy, she can sing!

Chalk one up in the Plus Column, with a big, ole' check mark, for the dreamers.

Here's the video.

Check it out ... It's the "Feel Good" story of the week

Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent

This Date ... On The Garlic

16 April 2008... On The Garlic

Boy, And We Thought Russert and Williams Sucked

Know Thy Pope

16 April 2007... On The Garlic

Chopped Garlic ... Of Virginia Tech ... The Right To Bear Arms ... And Barry Crimmins

His Fly Is Down and Nobody Wants To Tell Him ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

He'll Need A Weekend To Come Up With A Good Question

I guess we now know how to "fall up" at NBC/MSNBC.

Just ask a couple of idiotic questions at a Presidential Press Conference.

Word came last week that The Freak Show Defender is, perhaps, not filling Little Timmy Russerts' shoes very impressively, so, the suits at NBC are going to give Chuck Todd a crash course in Show Anchoring 101;

MSNBC Developing a Weekend Politics Show for NBC News Chief White House Correspondent Chuck Todd

Get ready for more of the "Goateed Guru."

According to multiple network sources, MSNBC is in the process of developing a weekend political show to be moderated by Chuck Todd, the network’s political director and chief White House correspondent.


The new show on MSNBC, to debut in late spring, would give Mr. Todd more experience as a political moderator and provide him with a good opportunity to develop his long-form interviewing skills. At the same time, it would give MSNBC an original political program to show off on a weekend schedule that is currently dominated by crime documentaries and taped content.

According to sources, the specifics of the show—live vs. taped, one-on-one interview vs. a panel of guests, half-hour vs. an hour, Saturday vs. Sunday—are still being worked out. Presumably the show will originate out of NBC’s Washington D.C. bureau, where Mr. Todd is stationed. Staffing has yet to be determined.
Yeah, that will be a real ratings barn burner - a weekend political show in the heat of the summer.

Ron Chusid, over on Liberal Values points that out;
The only problem is that there are now far too many political shows to even try to keep up with, unless someone wants to spend a big chunk of the weekend watching television. Besides the major interview shows from each network there is a growing number of additional shows. Chris Matthews has one Sunday show where he is generally calmer than he is on Hardball. Perhaps the best of the newer Sunday interview shows is Fareed Zakaria — GPS on CNN.
The Garlic, as did others, noted last month how Todd, for the second time, got called on by President Obama, during a press conference, and absolutely "screwed the pooch" on both occasions.

Apparently, the Obama Press Office hasn't wanted to pull his credentials, feeling, it is good to have a moment of levity during those things.

As the article also noted how Todd was a "breakout star" and was "seriously considered", at the time, to take over MTP.

It would seem like much safer ground, and better juice, for Todd to keep that designation, of "almost getting MTP", than actually opening his mouth and, well, show us all his, ahem, political instincts.

Yeah, he dazzled us during the campaign last year, when he was just a numbers cruncher ("He came to prominence during the 2008 political campaign, when his encyclopedic knowledge of electoral mechanics became a great asset to MSNBC and NBC News during the hotly contested and drawn out Democratic primary."), which, I guess, NBC and MSNBC was hedging their bets that we all couldn't log on to a computer, and pull up Nate Silvers', who was even more dazzling, and dead-on correct with his number-crunching.

A guy that hits home runs in the minors, gets called up, and consistently lines into double-plays, or worse, whiffs at a high percentage, doesn't, typically, last that long.

That NBC/MSNBC will hand Chuck Todd a show at this point, bucks against that old saw.

Hey, maybe they can plug Jay Leno in, since they're going to keep him hanging around.

Oh, Those Dead!


For a minute there, when I first espied this headline ("Obama Meets Privately With the Dead"), I thought, "Wow, Obama is really doing things differently", and was meeting with some of the RWFS Flying Monkeys, before one of their Iced Tea gatherings.

Mary Ann Akers, in her WaPo Sleuth Column has the details;

The president welcomed all the members of The Dead, who are performing tonight at the Verizon Center in Washington, to the Oval Office just before dinner last night. They didn't talk music as much as they did history - history about the Oval Office, and the president's desk.

Apparently the band was quite taken with how tidy the president keeps his desk. And how down-to-earth he seemed, according a source who was there.


The entourage included the four surviving members of the Grateful Dead - Bob Weir, Phil Lesh, Mickey Hart, Bill Kreutzmann - plus keyboardist Jeff Chimenti (from Weir's Ratdog) and Warren Haynes, who is joining the Dead on their 2009 spring tour as lead vocalist and guitarist. Some of them had their wives in tow.

As if chatting with the president in the Oval Office weren't cool enough, something remarkable happened on their way out. Just outside the Oval Office, Phil and his wife, Jill Lesh, spotted a vase full of Scarlet Begonias sitting on a table.

For the uninitiated, "Scarlet Begonias" is one of the late Grateful Dead band leader Jerry Garcia's most famous songs. (Check out a youthful looking Jerry Garcia singing "Scarlet Begonias" in this 1977 video, and be sure you have a tissue.)

After admiring the Scarlet Begonias, the band went next door to the Eisenhower Executive Office Building to meet with the most prominent Deadheads in the Obama White House: senior advisors David Axelrod and Pete Rouse, and deputy chief of staff Jim Messina. All three are planning to go to tonight's one and only Dead show in Washington, we're told.
Who knew?

A "Wall of Sound" that they believe in ...

Maybe They Edited His Remarks About The Dead Child

This was one of those posts we referenced, caught over the weekend, that just screamed out;

Family Announces Intent to Sue Over Police Forcing Accused Child Killer to Remove Her Scarf for Mugshot

Jonathan Turley writes;

Illinois police have been accused of violating religious sensitivities by forcing Nour Hadid, a 26-year-old woman accused of beating her 2-year-old niece Bhia Hadid to death over four days. She demanded to be photographed wearing her veil covering her face and her husband Alaeddin Hadid has announced an intention to sue the police for the “insult against our religion.”

It is hard to see the validity of the demand for a mugshot with a concealed face or hair. The police has a valid need to be able to have a full picture of the face of an arrested person.
The local paper has more.

Islam 'insulted' by alleged child killer's mug shot, says husband
But Alaeddin Hadid - who insists his wife is innocent - said Orland Park police are "really going to be in big trouble" for releasing the woman's booking photo to the news media after she was charged with first-degree murder.

The Hadids are Muslims and Nour "never leaves the home without covering up," said Alaeddin, who's vowed to sue.

By custom, some practicing Muslim women wear the hijab, or headscarf, and cover their arms and legs when in public.

In the mug shot, a bare-headed and obviously emotional Nour appears to be protecting her modesty with her hands.

"It is against our religion; we do not do this in our culture," Alaeddin said.

"People have been calling me about this all day."

Bhia Hadid's funeral took place Thursday.
Hmmmm ...

If the husband believes that the wife is innocent ("Nour Hadid is accused of beating her 2-year-old niece Bhia Hadid to death over four days at her home on the 9000 block of West 140th Street. The child had 55 separate bruises and was beaten "from head to toe," according to prosecutors, who say Hadid confessed."), and while demeaning, or insulting, one's faith, and/or religious customs, certainly can be serious, why wasn't the husband ("Police have said her husband's possible involvement in Bhia's death still is under investigation.") ranting and raving for the police to find this child's killer?

Perhaps all the press who have covered this, by osmosis, or in league with each other, just happened to edit out any remarks the husband made about the dead child.

A bit of a smoke screen being built?

I don't know, the "smell test" on this one is giving off a rather pungent odor.

But Wait, There's More Ways You Can Follow The Garlic!

We've been meaning to get this up here for some time.

Nobody offered us $250, 000, and, perhaps, one day, we will become as prestigious as The Guardian UK out there, but for now, we will continue what we started a month, or so ago, posting links of The Garlic on the the now-universally famous Twitter.

And, no, we aren't putting things up like "Had oatmeal this morning ... Raisins and brown sugar really jazzed it up", or "Putting on shoes now ... May go outside today" ...

It's simply the links to posts on The Garlic.

So, if you are out there in Twitterland, come on over and follow us

And, of course, you can also get the Full Monty, by subscribing to The Garlic's Daily Feed - simply use one of the subscription boxes in the leftside column to get that going (it really easy, even The Commander Guy, or Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain could do it) ... It drops in around 8AM, and you get pics and video, if we included any in the posts.

Here we are, on Twitter

A 1,001 Thanks, for visiting and reading The Garlic

This Date ... On The Garlic

15 April 2008... On The Garlic

McCain's Foodgate ... The Gift Keeps Giving ...

Firing It Up - My Wall Street Journal

Retro Garlic: Bring In The Homicide Guys!

Robbins Keynote Blasts Broadcasters

15 April 2005... On The Garlic

Jackson Trial Nixes Tradition; Papal Conclave Party Moves To The Netherlands

Derby Considers Child Jockeys From Qatar; Bush Admn Offers No Child Left Behind Funding, Immigration Waiver

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Senate and Congress Republicans Will Overhaul Justice System

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


That ear-splitting screeching you heard through most of the day was that of the Flying Monkeys, of the Right Wing Freak Show, flinging their own feces around, aghast at the prospects that the Obama Administration's Department of Homeland Security is (or has already started) looking into Right Wing Extremists, the prospects of the raising of violence, you know, from all those calls for revolution, and stockpiling of weapons due to Obama coming in and taking them all away.

And, as I read through a bevy of posts, particularly those that question, why would, say, an ordinary, run-of-the-mill, conservative get their panties in a bunch, automatically associating themselves with gun-toting, bomb-making freaks?

And, that led me to think about Fritz Weaver, and his appearance in one of the many classic 'Twilight Zones', in this case (as he was in many), "The Obsolete Man".

Here's the IMDB plot summary;

In a totalitarian society, Romney Wordsworth is condemned to death for the crime of being a librarian, and he is subjected to the harangues of the state's Chancellor and his lectures about Wordsworth's obsolescence. Wordsworth, however, makes one final request - that he be allowed to choose his method of execution and that it be televised live to the society. The Chancellor agrees and later visits Wordsworth at his house, where he learns that Wordsworth has had tons of explosives rigged under the house to go off at midnight in full view of national television cameras. But as The Chancellor begins to leave, he finds he has been double-crossed by Wordsworth, and suddenly he must face Romney Wordsworth's terrifying vigil as the clock ticks down to the fateful period of midnight.
Weaver plays the Chancellor, and the great Burgess Meredith is the Romney Wordsworth character.

And, the Chancellor is, oh so, haughty, carrying out the State's business, much with the crispness of Donald Rumsfeld.

While the plot episode is not quite the same circumstances, our little Flying Monkeys - Michelle "Stalkin" Malkin, Glenn Reynolds, the whole lot of them - all played out the "Chancellor's" role these past eight-years, cheerleading The Bush Grindhouse chopping up The Constitution, infringing on, and violating our rights, wiretapping us, Extraordinary Rendtioning others, torture, and these little Flying Monkeys set up the proverbial gauntlet, beating down, smearing, anyone who, let alone criticized The Commander Guy, but even questioned it.

So, today, they all break down, all the little Flying Monkeys, sweaty and trembling, much, like Fritz Weaver's "Chancellor" character, panicking that, like the Chancellor, they, too, will be dubbed "obsolete", or, in this case, they get roped in with a bunch of violent nutjobs.

Glenn Greenwald summed it, rather nicely;
"When you cheer on a Surveillance State, you have no grounds to complain when it turns its eyes on you. If you create a massive and wildly empowered domestic surveillance apparatus, it's going to monitor and investigate domestic political activity. That's its nature. I'd love to know how many of the participants in today's right-wing self-victim orgy uttered a peep of protest about any of this, from 2005 ..."
And, Steve Hynd, in his "From The "Shoe On Other Foot" Files";
"What I find unpleasant but nonetheless poetic justice is that the 30% who were all for illegal warrantless wiretapping and internet surveillance sweeps when Muslims and environmentalist hippies were the prime targets might be feeling a whole lot different now that they themselves may well be the subject of such spying."
Like Fritz Weaver's Chancellor, in the end;

"Chancellor: [becoming hysterical] You're making a mistake! *I'm not obsolete!* I BELIEVE in the State! I WORK for the State! I help give the State STRENGTH! How can you call ME obsolete? HOW CAN YOU?"

Flail away there, Flying Monkeys ...

Go to sleep tonight, thinking about, knowing, perhaps, your name is in a DHS file.

Bonus Flying Monkey Riffs

Tbogg: It’s all fun and games until they start looking at the white man

Ali Frick: Fox host wonders if Obama administration will send ‘spies’ to tea parties

Attytood: There's a right way and a wrong way to combat right wing violence

Tim F: The Point (You’re Never Gonna Get It)

Bonus Bonus

Watch 'The Twilight Zone' episode, "The Obsolete Man" HERE

This Date ... On The Garlic

14 April 2008... On The Garlic

Robert Reich: "Old Politics ... Old Media Are Irrelevant Now"

Retro Garlic: We Knew They Would Come Around

14 April 2005... On The Garlic

Minutemen Heading To Wisconsin Cat Hunt; 'Can't Shoot Illegal Aliens', Says Leader

Hooters Applauds FDA Breast Implant Vote; Opens Doors For More Woman To Become 'Hooter Girls'

Top Ten Cloves: Tax Deductions People Will Try To Get Away This Year

Monday, April 13, 2009

You Were Cool, Mark Fidrych ... You Were Way Cool ...

More sad news out of the baseball world this evening.

Following last week's tragic car accident that claimed California Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart, and earlier today, Philadelphia Phillies announcer Harry Kalas died before a game (you can say he "died with his booth on") and then, a real bombshell (at least, emotionally), that Mark "The Bird" Fidrych died today, perhaps in some kind of accident, repairing his truck.

Back in the mid-70's, 1976 to be specific, Fidrych took over baseball, lock, stock, and barrel, eventually, at season's end, earning the "Rookie of the Year' honors.

He was special, a real character, a honest character.

He played the game like it was supposed to be played - he had fun.

Tall, and with the gangly delivery, he soon got pegged as "The Bird", and he talked to himself out on the mound ... And he did his own groundswork on the mound, all contributing to the brilliant, blazing, rocket-of-a-shooting-star that Fidrych was.

A shoulder injury in his second year eventually cut his career short, as Fidrych played only five-years, all with the Detroit Tigers (ironically, he missed by a year, or two, the advancement in medicine, the surgery to repair his shoulder, that, possibly, would have given him a glorious career).

He came home, here, to Massachusetts, and, baffling to some, simply, lived his life.

You Were Cool, Mark Fidrych ... You Were Way Cool ...

You had duende ...

Nick Acocella: In '76, Bird was the word

Mark "The Bird" Fidrych

Ay Mi Cuba

Cubismo - Ay mi Cuba

I guess, just a wild guess, it is dawning on some, that about 50-years of a miserably failed policy was about enough time to give it, you know, you can understand that they didn't want to pull the plug too early.

Obama Lifts Some Restrictions on Cuba

The decision does not lift the trade embargo on Cuba but eases the prohibitions that have restricted Cuban Americans from visiting their relatives and has limited what they can send back home.

It also allows companies to establish fiber-optic and satellite links between the United States and Cuba and will permit U.S. companies to be licensed for roaming agreements in Cuba.

Communications of those kinds have been prohibited under tough rules put in place by George W. Bush's administration to pressure for democratic change in the island nation.

But under the new policy promoted by Obama, satellite radio companies and television providers will also be able to enter into transactions necessary to provide service to Cuban citizens.

It will also provide an exception to the trade embargo to allow personal cell phones, computes and satellite receivers to be sent to Cuba.

John Cole: Changing Our Cuba Policy

Lesley Clark: Some travel restrictions to Cuba to be lifted

Mark Silva: Obama easing U.S.-Cuban restrictions

Aaron Wiener: Obama to Reverse Cuba Travel Policy Today


NYT: White House Fact Sheet: Cuba Policy


Celia Cruz - Guantanamera con la Fania

Bonus Benny Moré

Beny Moré - Ay Mi Cuba

This Date ... On The Garlic

13 April 2008... On The Garlic

Barry Crimmins Is Giving Away The Store!

Cavett and Rich Take On Petraeus and Crocker

Maybe He Should Try Monster.Com ...

New Additions To The Garlic

13 April 2007... On The Garlic

Chopped Garlic: "Emails? We ain't got no emails! We don't need no emails! We don't have to show you any stinking emails!"...

13 April 2006... On The Garlic

Happy Holidays!

13 April 2005... On The Garlic

Sesame Street Goes Dark Over Dispute; Cookie Monster, Count Balks At Planned Healthy Foods Slant

Rumsfeld Stumps In Iraq For Statehood; Warns Corruption, Civil Strife Could Derail Efforts

Top Ten Cloves: President Bush's Suggestions To Israel On The Gaza Withdrawal

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Christ Slept Here: A Tale of Easter

I can't help, each year, when Easter rolls around, to conjure up 'The Lazlo Letters', Don Novello's hysterical book, and think about the one he sent to a chocolate company (Hershey's, if I recall), saying to them, "Easter ... One man's misery is a chocolate company's dream", or something close to that.

Or, think about the traditional Easter Parade, merging with the annual Doo-Dah Parade, and what that might look like.

So, along with the colored eggs, the chocolate, the cards, the candy, the parades, or whatever you may embrace for tradition, add to it The Garlic's special essay - "Christ Slept Here: A Tale of Easter".

What would you do, if you woke up Easter Sunday morning and found Jesus Christ on your living room floor?

What was I going to say? I couldn’t lie to the guy! Besides, I had a hangover that showed me about as much mercy as an infomercial full of insurance salesman. The last thing I expected to deal with on Easter Sunday morning was to find Jesus Christ Himself lying on my living room floor.

He sipped his Ovaltine and sat quietly for a moment. Almost an hour had passed since I stumbled out from my bedroom and shouted “Jesus Christ”, only to receive an affirmative response. Now I found myself obsessed with what I was going to serve Him for breakfast.


“Try me again”, He shouted “What year is this?”

“Ah, two-thousand-seven, A.D. ... Ehh ... I mean ... You know ... After you ...”

“I see ... Do you have one of those television things that everybody seems to be talking about?”

Forgetting myself, I walked into the living room, handed him the remote control, and walked back into the kitchen. After a few minutes - and not hearing any sounds - I peered into the living room and found Him holding the remote in His hands - staring at it intently.

“Remarkable little thing”, he said noticing me. “But I’m not quite sure that I get it”
There's more, so go check out "Christ Slept Here: A Tale of Easter".

Your Spring Holiday will never be the same.

This Date ... On The Garlic

12 April 2008... On The Garlic

Obama Minister Wants To Nuke Small Towns!

Top Ten Cloves: Things About The Rocket Scientists' Party, Yuri Night

12 April 2007... On The Garlic

So It Goes ... R.I.P Billy Pilgrim

12 April 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News - Rice Grilled; Shouting Match With Bolton; U.N Questions Rice On Iran Intentions; U.S. Urges ‘Strong Steps”; Council Presses Secretary If Adding To “Thousands Of Errors” Or Starting New Tab

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard While Iran Was Enriching Uranium

12 April 2005... On The Garlic

Garlic Exclusive! Bush Moves On Making Iraq 51st State; DC Ignored; Puerto Rico Bumped Back To 52nd 'Unofficial' State

Top Ten Cloves: How Ambassador-Nominee John Bolton Really Feels About United Nations