Christ Slept Here: A Tale of Easter

I can't help, each year, when Easter rolls around, to conjure up 'The Lazlo Letters', Don Novello's hysterical book, and think about the one he sent to a chocolate company (Hershey's, if I recall), saying to them, "Easter ... One man's misery is a chocolate company's dream", or something close to that.



Or, think about the traditional Easter Parade, merging with the annual Doo-Dah Parade, and what that might look like.

So, along with the colored eggs, the chocolate, the cards, the candy, the parades, or whatever you may embrace for tradition, add to it The Garlic's special essay - "Christ Slept Here: A Tale of Easter".

What would you do, if you woke up Easter Sunday morning and found Jesus Christ on your living room floor?

What was I going to say? I couldn’t lie to the guy! Besides, I had a hangover that showed me about as much mercy as an infomercial full of insurance salesman. The last thing I expected to deal with on Easter Sunday morning was to find Jesus Christ Himself lying on my living room floor.

He sipped his Ovaltine and sat quietly for a moment. Almost an hour had passed since I stumbled out from my bedroom and shouted “Jesus Christ”, only to receive an affirmative response. Now I found myself obsessed with what I was going to serve Him for breakfast.

[Snip]

“Try me again”, He shouted “What year is this?”

“Ah, two-thousand-seven, A.D. ... Ehh ... I mean ... You know ... After you ...”

“I see ... Do you have one of those television things that everybody seems to be talking about?”

Forgetting myself, I walked into the living room, handed him the remote control, and walked back into the kitchen. After a few minutes - and not hearing any sounds - I peered into the living room and found Him holding the remote in His hands - staring at it intently.

“Remarkable little thing”, he said noticing me. “But I’m not quite sure that I get it”

There's more, so go check out "Christ Slept Here: A Tale of Easter".

Your Spring Holiday will never be the same.

Happy New Year!

Voorspoedige nuwe jaar ... Kul 'am wa antum bikhair ... Urte Berri on ... Shuvo noboborsho ... Sun nien fai lok ... Xin nian yu kuai ...Stastny Novy Rok ... Godt NytÅr ... Gelukkig nieuwjaar ... Bonan Novjaron ... Onnellista uutta vuotta ... Bonne année ... Ein glückliches neues Jahr ... Eutychismenos o kainourgios chronos ... Hauoli Makahiki hou ... Shana Tova ... Boldog uj evet ... Selamat Tahun Baru ... Felice Anno Nuovo or Buon anno ... Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu ... Sehe Bokmanee Bateuseyo ... Nyob Zoo Xyoo Tshiab ... Felix sit annus novus ... Barka da sabuwar shekara ... Godt Nytt År ... Manigong Bagong Taon ... Szczesliwego Nowego Roku ... La Multi Ani si Un An Nou Fericit ... Ia manuia le Tausaga Fou ... Feliz año nuevo ... Heri za Mwaka Mpya ... Gott Nytt År ... Sawatdee Pi Mai ... Chuc mung nam moi ... Blwyddyn Newydd Dda ...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

All things considered, we're not sure just how much happiness is coming in with the sashed-wrapped New Years' baby.

And, where we write from on this new day, it's about 12-degrees, accompanied by 30-MPH winds, producing a -15-degree wind chill, so there's little happiness in walking out the front door (which is adorned with the fresh 6-inches of snow from yesterday).

It "warms up" to about 30 tomorrow.

Enough of that, today's a day of parades, bowl games, polar bear club members jumping into icy waters, Mummers Parade (you have to wait until January 18th for the classic, irreverent, Doo Dah Parade), special concerts, and, of course, for many, the nursing of hangovers.

So, whatever you are doing today, no matter how 2008 played out for you, we have, we believe, the tune that can assuage you for 2009, carrying you forward, a call to perseverance and optimism, of gratitude, and believing in yourself.

It comes via a collaboration between Joe Cocker and The Crusaders, appearing on The Crusader's album, 'Standing Tall', and was nominated for a Grammy in 1981.

Our New Years' gift to you - "I'm So Glad I'm Standing Here Today"

Enjoy! ...

And, Happy New Year!

I'm So Glad I'm Standing Here Today

{Jazz} Im So Glad Im Standing Here Today -