Bush To Shift Gears, Use Radio Address To Urge Private Daylight Savings Accounts

No Details Offered; Snow Says "Not A Little Comma In Your Portfolio", While Rove Driving To Build Domestic Legacy

Desperate to get the Iraq Surge and Occupation, Scooter Libby and Vice President Dick Cheney off the front pages, President Bush will use his Radio Address this week to push a new domestic agenda, urging Americans to open and invest in Private Daylight Savings Accounts.

The White House is seizing on the changes this year, to revive the plan the President first attempted in 2005, with Daylight Savings Time coming three-weeks early, due to the Energy Policy Act of 2005.

Many are expecting widespread problems and high tech glitches with the early changeover.

In 2005, when pushing his revamping of Social Security, the White House offered a bonus Daylight Savings Time package to anyone who would open a private Social Security account.

"Well, it's like this," explained White House Spokesperson Tony Snow, "It went over about as well as a lead balloon."

This year, it was determined to drop any and all ties to Social Security and just go with the private Daylight Savings Accounts.

"Yeah," added Snow, "The President believes that once the American people look at this package, they'll want to buy into it it. They'll see it won't be just a little comma in their portfolios, that there is some substance it it."

Snow would not divulge any of the details of the Daylight Savings Account.

He was joined in making the announcement by two, low level, administrative assistants from the Treasury Department. No cabinet members or other senior officials were present during the the briefing, no displays of the Daylight Savings Time packages were offered, no photographs could be taken and the briefing, Snow stated, was "off the record".

When reached while traveling, down South, Assistant to the President, Deputy Chief of Staff and Senior Advisor Karl Rove, Rove claimed authorship of the plan, saying it was "all part of building the legacy."

"We've already laid down the military and foreign policy legacy," explained Rove, "So, now it's time to dig in on the domestic side."

"Years from now, " Rove continued, "people will be kicking themselves, that they didn't buy into the Daylight Savings Account program. "But it has a logic of force and nature and reality that will cause people to examine it, adjust it, test it, resist it -- but ultimately embrace it ... It's about investing in the vision, investing in America ... Investing in the Bush Domestic Doctrine."

Last year, after it was leaked that the White House was slow in pushing their clocks forward, the President lashed out at the media, exhorting them to cover "the more positive stories" of Daylight Savings Time.

Snow said that there will be no repeat of what happened last year.

"We got it covered, said Snow. "All the clocks will be changed and pushed forward on time. I don't want to be banging my head on the podium on Monday, having to answer those kind of questions."


Links

Spring Forward, Fall to Pieces? Will early daylight–saving time destroy your computer?

The History of Daylight Saving Time

Daylight Saving Time Facts (U.S.)

Bush Domestic Doctrine?

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Scooter Libby May Get A Pardon

News Item: The Problem With Pardoning Libby

10. White House talking with Donald Trump, about launching Apprentice Convicts, where all participants are felons and winning team gets pardons

9. A Shoot-Out, for all the marbles, with soccer star David Beckham

8. Set Condi Rice up with a husband, Bush will give him two pardons!

7. Suddenly remember "I was at a Dodger game", comb through 'Curb Your Enthusiam' footage to prove it, and the pardon writes itself

6. Rounding up any photos of Newt Gingrich, while he was having his affair during the Clinton investigation, and Scooter can write his own pardon

5. So many people calling for the pardon - including his jurors - President Bush migh want to see what the ol' Magic 8-Ball has to say

4. Libby urged to go on American Idol; Instead of winning recording contract, he gets the pardon

3. Hmmm, this new FBI Records scandal scandal might be just the ticket to discover something new that we can use to justify pardon

2. Get back to writing, come up with a storyline that will bring Captain America back to life so he can join Batman in fighting the terrorists and the entire nation will offer a pardon

1. At White House Easter Egg Hunt this year, there could be one, very special egg with Libby's name on it

Bonus Link

Guess Libby's Pardon Date, Win a T-Shirt

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

As we announced previously, The Garlic will be presenting The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day on as an on-going feature.

Last night, our television-watching First Lady would have had her spirits lifted, as the news from Iraq was on the optimistic side

Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

GIs, Iraqis Capture Suspected Insurgents

Ms. Laura must have been particularly pleased when she heard this;

"Despite the general's cautious tone, Baghdad was relatively quiet Thursday. Police reported finding 10 bodies with signs of torture _ presumably victims of Sunni-Shiite reprisal killings. That figure was well down from the 40 to 50 bodies found each day before the operation began."

Links

Watch the video of the First Lady on Crooks and Liars

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

The Reaction's Michael J.W. Stickings: Laura Bush should keep her mouth shut

Monday 5 March 2007 Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day - Suicide Bomb Explodes in Baghdad Market

Tuesday 6 March 2007 Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day - Bomb Shatters Baghdad's Storied Literary Street; Dozens Are Killed; Area Once Known For Liberal Ideas
















You need strength to keep from being discouraged by that "one bombing a day" on television

Breaking News - White House Bombshell: "VP Could Be In His Last Throes"

Libby Verdict Has Bush, White House Urging Cheney Into Rehab

Sources Claim "Can't Be Trusted He Won't Break"; Iraq Comments "Last Straw" and "Were Not An Enormous Success"

Sources have told The Garlic that a fierce battle is being waged inside the White House, as President Bush, and other staffers, are strongly urging Vice President Dick Cheney enter into rehab.

The overriding fear is that recently convicted former Assistant to the President, and Vice President Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, in an effort to stay out of prison, by make a deal with Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald and implicate the Vice President in the Valerie Plame CIA Leak Case.

If that were to occur, and with Fitzgerald already "owning" Assistant to the President, Deputy Chief of Staff and Senior Advisor Karl Rove, the White House wants to have Cheney "completely off-limits" to investigators.

He can't be trusted that he won't break. They'll have him disappear." said one official who works in the West Wing. "I mean, he'll be gone, untouchable."

Cheney's Staff Fighting Back

In the Office of the Vice President, a chaotic and frenzied effort is underway by staffers, to block the President from forcing Cheney into rehab.

David Addington, Cheney's new Chief of Staff, is said to be "sweating blood", digging furiously through legal volumes, looking for the slightest edge that can be employed, or a precedent that can be slipped into the next Bush Signing Statement.

Communication between the West Wing and the Vice President's office is so strained, that necessary information, and daily business, is being conducted by messenger.

Cheney could not be reached for comment, rumored to be holed-up in his Secret Bunker.

Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride said the Vice President would not be issuing any comments on the rehab story and that, "frankly, he doesn't give a hoot what people think."

Cheney Was On Thin Ice

With Cheney's influence in the White House being questioned, and calls coming of the impeachment of the Vice President, Cheney, according to the insiders, was already on the President's radar, and "very thin ice".

Since his combative interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer, in which Cheney sang of the "enormous successes" in Iraq and arrogantly dismissed criticism of himself as "hogwash", the White House has attempted to harness the Vice President, but without much success.

Cheney has also been a the center of amping up the war cry against Iran, having already angered the President earlier by by splitting off from the White House and establishing his own Iran Study Group.

"Christ," sighed another source inside the White House, "you want reasons? We've got over six-years' worth ... Take your pick ... Last throes ... Endorsing waterboarding... Busting the Senate Intelligence Committee's balls... His secret energy meetings... The Nazi Appeaser thing... This guys a one-man PR nightmare ... Every time the President wants to do something on the QT, there goes Cheney shooting - no pun intended - his mouth off ..."

All In The Family

The White House is also displeased that it has become a "family affair"; with the Cheney's, in putting the spotlight on the President and his policies.

Last Fall, Lynne Cheney, the Vice President's wife, had her own head butting contest with CNN's Blitzer that generated an unwanted glare.

That was followed by a pair of Op-Ed's by Cheney's daughter, Elizabeth, urging continued support for the Iraq Occupation and lashing out at Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, for her "single, unmarried" status.

Faith and Fallback In Play

The President is said to have faith, that the Vice President will "do the right thing", and gracefully step into rehab.

If not, the sources say, the President already has a "fallback" position in ordering Cheney into rehab.

Shortly after the Libby guilty verdict was announced, Cheney, reportedly, stormed around his office in a raging tirade, and is said to be heard by a handful of staffers, of calling Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald a "little faggot".

"And there's already an established procedure and precedent for that." added the staffer. "Even Ann Coulter worried about going into rehab is she used that word."

With his influence down, and his former Chief of Staff now a convicted felon, the White House is urging Vice President Dick Cheney to enter into rehab, but no one is expecting Cheney Cheney to go without a fight

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

As we announced yesterday, The Garlic will be presenting The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Bomb Shatters Baghdad's Storied Literary Street; Dozens Are Killed; Area Once Known For Liberal Ideas

Links

Watch the video of the First Lady on Crooks and Liars

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

The Reaction's Michael J.W. Stickings: Laura Bush should keep her mouth shut

Monday 5 March 2007 Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day - Suicide Bomb Explodes in Baghdad Market

















We have to speculate that the First Lady and Vice President likely agreed that "what we see on television is the one Scooter Libby conviction a day that discourages everybody."

Top Ten Cloves: Things Ann Coulter Would Spend "Coulter Cash" On

News Item: Edwards Campaign Responds to Coulter Calling Him 'Faggot'

10. All the crème brulee in the whole wide world

9. Take the 9/11 widows to lunch

8. Buy Catholic League President Bill Donohue a date

7. Some new, advanced software, to make it easier to plagiarize

6. An armful of Sean Hannity T-Shirts

5. Lots and lots of Lynne Cheney's books

4. A slew of her own books, to rig her Amazon rating

3. Cover Rush Limbaugh's drug bill

2. Fund Rick Santorum's next WMD hunt

1. Britt Hume, a personality











Coulter may need some of the "Coulter Cash", if more companies pull their ads from her website

New Feature - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

Forgot about the hundreds, to thousands of U.S. Soldiers and Iraqi citizens being killed and injured on a daily basis. Ignore the Bush Administration's treatment of the soldiers when they return home for care.

The First Lady of the United States, in an interview with Larry King, has decried that, it is not the failure of the President and his administration that is a bummer when it comes to Iraq, rather it is the fault of the media for bringing an isolated moment of misery to us.

"And many parts of Iraq are stable ahh..now. But, of course, what we see on television is the one bombing a day that discourages everybody."

As Think Progress reported, "According to the latest Brookings Institution Iraq Index, as of November 2006, there were approximately 185 insurgent and militia attacks every day."

So, beginning today, and on-going, based on the available news, The Garlic will issue the official downer from the East Wing - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day.

Links

Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day - Suicide Bomb Explodes in Baghdad Market

Watch the video of the First Lady on Crooks and Liars

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

The Reaction's Michael J.W. Stickings: Laura Bush should keep her mouth shut

Don't Worry Tim, The Vice President Still Loves Ya! ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

If he wasn't so dangerous, and evil, Vice President Richard B. Cheney would be a hoot, likely to be the rage on the talkshow circuit (well, at least others besides those on the Fox News Network).

Yet, assuming he stays out of Pakistan and Afghanistan, as it is, he is but a heartbeat away from the Oval Office.

Likewise, as fate would have it, the converse prevails and a similar heartbeat in his own chest has the potential to lift Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, a recent target of Cheney, to the Office of the Vice President.

Pelosi, and her colleague, John Murtha could also send a jolt to Cheney, and start impeachment proceedings against him, as laid out in the recent article, THE PEOPLE V. RICHARD CHENEY.

During the recent Scooter Libby Trial, it was revealed that Tim Russert was a favorite outpost for the Vice President to spin the spin and our Garlic Poll Voters jumped on that, overwhelmingly choosing it as the biggest surprise that Cheney didn't go on Meet The Press to smear Pelosi and Murtha

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll February 25 - March 3, 2007

Vice President Dick Cheney's recent attacks against Nancy Pelosi and John Murtha, that their strategies will "validate Al-Qaeda", were remarkable in that ...

1. Cheney didn't go on his favorite and friendliest show, Meet The Press, to level the charges (which, we know, Tim Russert wouldn't push back against) Tally 56%

2. Cheney didn't leak any classified (that we know of) intelligence to do it Tally 19%

3. His Chief of Staff David Addington didn't call any reporters (that we know of) to leak the identity of a covert CIA agent Tally 15%

4. Cheney didn't ask (that we know of) any former Ambassadors to go to Pakistan or Afghanistan to verify that Pelosi and Murtha are aiding Al Qaeda Tally 11%


This week’s Poll - Since the President, and his Miltary Command, have come out and admitted they don't have a "Plan B" for Iraq, we're likely to see ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote