Thursday, August 16, 2012

Corzine Passes Go, Collects $200

At ocean eleven
And now rudeboys have a go wail
'Cause them out of jail
Rudeboys cannot fail ...
Dem a loot, dem a shoot, dem a wail
A Shanty Town
Dem a loot, dem a shoot, dem a wail
A Shanty Town ...

I guess, we'll be adding into the Political Playbook is that you don't prosecute Wall Street mobsters, especially if they hail from Goldman Sucks , in an election year.


No Criminal Case Is Likely in Loss at MF Global 

After 10 months of stitching together evidence on the firm’s demise, criminal investigators are concluding that chaos and porous risk controls at the firm, rather than fraud, allowed the money to disappear, according to people involved in the case ...


In the most telling indication yet that the MF Global investigation is winding down, federal authorities are seeking to interview the former chief of the firm, Jon S. Corzine, next month, according to the people involved in the case. Authorities hope that Mr. Corzine, who is expected to accept the invitation, will shed light on the actions of other employees at MF Global.

Those developments indicate that federal prosecutors do not expect to file criminal charges against the former New Jersey governor. Mr. Corzine has not yet received assurances that he is free from scrutiny, but two rounds of interviews with former employees and a review of thousands of documents have left prosecutors without a case against him, say the people involved in the investigation who spoke on the condition of anonymity

And, it gets worse!

I mean, even this wouldn't be served in the Irony Cafe;

Mr. Corzine, in a bid to rebuild his image and engage his passion for trading, is weighing whether to start a hedge fund, according to people with knowledge of his plans. He is currently trading with his family’s wealth.

A New Mexico town once changed their name to "Truth or Consequences" ", to gain fame.

If a show came along named "No Consequences", Wall Street, and only Wall Street, with its' larcenous infamy, would have to lay claim to it.

File this one under "Laughing all the way - running away from the bank" ...

Help Me Mr. Wizard! 


Bonus Links

Another Week, Another Bankster with Impunity

What a World - There Is No "Manslaughter" Charge in Financial Firm Incompetence

Jon Corzine Wants to Start a Hedge Fund, Maybe

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Abe Lincoln Role Stirs Studios To Flood Market With New Vampire Pics

Despite the less-than-stellar opening box office, and disastrous reviews, of the new film,‘Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter’, major Hollywood studios are red-lining, and rushing into production, a wave of new vampire projects, a source tells The Garlic.

“They can’t get them out fast enough,’ said the movie industry insider, adding that “my clients are badgering to get me to land them something.”

The plan calls for issuing new projects with original stories, many of them with A-List actors, for serial stories that will offer multiple sequels and franchises.
Also, for the studios with deep archives, some classic films will be reworked, with CGI, and other state-of-the-art techniques, integrating in new stars, and turning movie legends into vampire fighters.

Scheduled for release by the Christmas rush include;

The Vampire World of Suzie Wong

William Holden’s Robert Lomax doesn’t move into the Nam Kok Hotel just to become a painter.

He teams up with Nancy Kwan’s Suzie Wong, and the other prostitutes, to do battle with the Vampires of Hong Kong, offering pulsating martial arts action on the teeming streets.

Look for Steve Buscemi in a cameo role as a kung fu rickshaw driver

Rain Man, Vampire Slayer

Raymond Babbitt may be autistic, but when he and brother Charlie hit Las Vegas, it’s not for blackjack, and Raymond shows the vampires who’s on first.

The pair does battle with the towns Vampires, tearing up and down the strip, rampaging through casinos, with the climatic fight coming on top of the Luxor Hotel’s pyramid.

Steve Buscemi has a role here, as a Craps Table dealer who rolls snake eyes for the vampires

A Vampire Affair To Remember

Cary Grant’s Nickie Ferrante and Deborah Kerr’s Terry McKay take on the Vampires, both on land and at sea.

With the ship anchored on the scenic Mediterranean coast, Ferrante and McKay clean the ocean liner of the stowaway vampires.

Back in New York, McKay isn’t hit by an automobile on the way to meet Ferrante, she’s abducted by the Vampires, leading to the final battle, at the top of the Empire State building.

Steve Buscemi pops up here, as the elevator operator who aids the pair.

Other works in the pipeline include ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Vampire’, ‘Three Vampires in the Fountain’ and ‘No Country for Old Vampires’.

“This is like found money,” gushed the Hollywood insider.

“I mean, we could dress someone up like Bela Lugosi, film him reading the phone book, and laugh all the way to the bank.”


Bonus Links

Review: Bloody Serious Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Isn’t as Fun as It Sounds

Vampires of Television and Film

Day Three of Swank Thank You's; No End In Sight

The Oscars ... "Perfectly awful!"

Movie Industry Titan, and LBJ Lackey, Rolls His Final Credits - Jack Valenti Obit

Friday, May 25, 2012

Top Ten Cloves: Other Ways Facebook Could Have Screwed Up Their IPO

News Item:  EXCLUSIVE: Here's The Inside Story Of What Happened On The Facebook IPO

10.  Done it all on Facebook – base share prices by how many Likes they received

  9.  If Mark Zuckerburg had another meeting with Biz Stone

  8.  Brought Lebron James in for the last quarter of writing the IPO

  7.  Promoted offering with ads on Google+ 

  6.  Used the New Orleans Saints Bounty Program to sell their shares (or, perhaps,      
        to settle the lawsuits)

  5.  Get The Most Interesting Man In The World  to … Wait a minute, he's way too cool, 
        and, probably, has his own MIMITWBook (and everyone on it Likes him)   

  4.  If former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson was brought in to keep the IPO 

  3.  Hired Jamie Dimon and J.P. Morgan’s London office to run the show

  2.  Got Mitt Romney to make one of his prescient insights to the marketplace

  1.  Had Larry Summers and the Winklevoss Brothers do the underwriting

Bonus Riffs

Charles P. Pierce: Why Is America So Happy for Facebook? 

Mark Cuban: Facebook IPO Post Mortem – Killer – but not for the reasons you think !