Friday, August 11, 2006

Coming To A Theatre Near You Soon - Republicans On A Plane!

Republicans On A Plane !

Not Even Al-Qaeda-Types Can Handle it!

Hit the showers Carrie and go get a facelift Jason, you will soon be irrelevant ... You won’t be able to scare the bejeezes out of lobbyist, even if you pick-pocketed his wallet

Spin Pictures announces that, just after Labor Day, and well in time for Academy Award consideration, it will release the blockbuster horror movie-of-all-horror movies - Republicans On A Plane!

A planeload of innocent, everyday Americans, some traveling for business, others taking vacations they managed to save years for, despite soaring taxes, outrageous medical insurance fees and scandalous, mountainous energy costs, soon realizes that their flight - and agenda - has been hijacked, and they have to fight for their lives.

Gone is the trip over a strong, respected America, once a world-leader in ethics, compassion and a clear vision of what was the right course to take, and with the ability to broker peaceful endings to tense, war-torn geopolitical trouble spots.

In Republicans On A Plane!, you’ll see an America you never believed you would see in your lifetime, or in your worst, heart-stopping nightmares.

GOP operatives, some disguised as passengers, others as crew members, begin inundating, unendingly, the passengers, with lies, distortions and innuendo, so mean, so vicious, we been forced to provide vomit bags to the movie theatres screening this film

You’ll see a small business owner, trapped by Republican National Committee Talking Points literally diced into a bloody, oozing mess of body parts.

Someone’s grandmother is smeared so far beyond recognition, that even dental records won’t give a clue as to her identity.

Down in the cargo hold, a pack of Swift Boats descends on a loyal Congressman, one who happened to support Ned Lamont, and is attacked with graphic horror, so unimaginable that the Ratings Board of the Motion Picture Association of America made us tone it down, or we couldn’t release Republicans On A Plane!

And in first class, the liquids and toothpaste is brought out and used in such a horrific manner, it would make the staff of a CIA Black Hole Prison go white, trembling with fear.

Republicans On A Plane! sets the bar on horror films so high, it will be unreachable by those that follow, and facilitate the end of the genre for decades to come.

Republicans On A Plane! is so scary, after a private screening, both Iran and North Korea pledged to give up their nuclear programs ... Hezbollah promised to stop firing rockets into Israel and William Bennett swore off gambling for the rest of his life.

You don’t want to miss Republicans On A Plane!.

In fact you won’t be able to miss Republicans On A Plane! ... We’ll make sure of that.

Republicans On A Plane! stars many of your favorites - Sean Hannity as Captain Jack ... Ann Coulter as Flight Attendant Eva Former Congressman, the indicted Tom DeLay as Chief Baggage Handler, Senator Rick Santorum as Father Gay Hunter, Senator Bill Frist, who is videotaping the flight for future study, and film legend Charlton Heston as the deceptively friendly C.D. Hands

And look for special cameo appearances, including Vice President Dick Cheney, RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Neal Boortz, Rita Cosby (as the dumb blonde, or is she?), Dennis Miller (as the smarmy Fox News Analyst), William Kristol and very special role by former Attorney General John Ashcroft (who also provides the soundtrack)

Republicans On A Plane! is so scary, so brutal, so graphic, some movie goers have had to flee the theatre in panic

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