Saturday, May 19, 2007

We're Waiting, John Fund ... For You To Take Your Head Out Of Your Ass ... Lieberman Abandoned The Democrats To Run As An Indie, He Wasn't Forced To

Perhaps we can launch a new segment today for The Garlic, titled "Raging Cloves".

Just another slam against the blogosphere, as well as a gratuitous - and false - kudos to Senator Joe Lieberman (R&I - CT)

Last evening, on '''Real Talk with Bill Maher', during the panel discussion segment, WSJ Columnist John Fund put his foot in his mouth, or, better yet, was talking with his head up his ass.

With the topic of the conversation being the Republican Candidates Debate of last week, and Maher extolling on the truth that Ron Paul was speaking.

Fund than jumped in, saying it was a shame that the Republicans were trying to keep Paul out of future debates, to shut him out.

Fund then compared that, to "the netroots shutting out Joe Lieberman and that's why he had to run as an Independent ..."


"...He had to run as as Independent?"

Does Fund have some secret information to verify his statement, perhaps something swept up in the Bush Grindhouse's illegal wiretaps?

Does Fund have an "Alice In Wonderland Looking Glass' instead of regular television and internet.

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!

Senator Lieberman (R&I - CT) ran as in Independent due to he lost a primary election to a political novice, largely due to Ned Lamont embracing ending the Iraq Invasion and Occupation, while Lieberman chose to continue holding on tight to it, as well as hugging The Commander Guy Bush for a kiss.

The sitting and incumbent Senator ran in an election against a political neophyte and lost.

Lieberman abandoned the Democratic Party and ran as Independent at his own choosing.

Joe Lieberman wasn't shut out of anything. He ran in an election and lost. He wasn't denied anything.

(Editors Note: I don't have the benefit of either a transcript, or TIVO, however, the Fund quote is virtually verbatim, as best as I could remember it in the time it took to pick up paper and pen)

Bonus Links

Post-Debate Bombshell - Lieberman Announces Plan C – Will Run In All 50 States

Joe Lieberman's Run as an Independent is Bad for the Democratic Party, But Is it Good for Democracy?

The Irrelevance of Joe Lieberman

John Fund, This Cup of Tea Is For You!

This is what sealed Lieberman's (R&I - CT) fate, as much as anything else

Friday, May 18, 2007

Okay Wolfie, Hit It! ... New Garlic Song For The Wolf Man

Well, chalk another notch in the Bush Legacy.

One of the primo Iraq Invasion and Occupation salesmen is hitting the bricks, deciding in his follow-up career, much like the oil would pay for the devastation of Iraq in his previous', that he would pay for himself, and his girlfriend, Shaha Riza, the World Bank picking up the tab on this one.

Yeah, The Commander Guy will turn himself into "The Banking Guy" and replace Wolfie, as many have speculated, with the lackey across the Atlantic, outgoing British PM Tony Blair (and, blowing on our finger tips, The Garlic had them beat on this a week ago).

But you gotta love the balls on this guy.

First, he has to be one of only a few that gets the company, pretty much out in the open, to pay for his mistress.

Then, he stammers and stutters, not giving in until he gets his solid gold parachute, to the tune of upwards of $400,000.

America ... Ya gotta love it ...

So, in honor of the incredible hijacking - of ethics and money - we salute, as we have so many others in the Bush Grindhouse, with a Garlic Song.

We turn tonight to the All American Songbook, and Jazz classic, Green Dolphin Street (written in 1947, by Bronislau Kaper & Ned Washington)

Sing or hum along!

The World Bank

Shaha one lovely day
Wolfie came planning to stay
The World Bank supplied the setting
The setting for a pay raise beyond forgetting

And though my ethics fell apart
$400K can sure fix my heart
When I recall the moohla I found on
I could kiss the board on
The World Bank

Bonus Links

Green Dolphin Street (1947)

Watch and Listen To Carmen McRae Sing Green Dolphin Street (1947)

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Developing Story! White House Giving World Bank, Wolfowitz Green Light To Blame McNulty

New Strategy Of Leveraging Scandals; Cheney Says Embattled Hero "Definitely In Final Throes" At World Bank

In a stunning reversal, where, up to now, the White House has offered consistent, but hands-off, support, sources have told The Garlic that, after a late night meeting last evening, the World Bank, and its' embattled President Paul Wolfowitz have "top level approval" to spin the blame of their scandal on former Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty.

This could signal, say White House watchers, a new strategy by the Bush Grindhouse, heard in whispers on the cocktail circuit recently, to begin leveraging the multitude of scandals they find themselves under, ostensibly, to keep Congressional investigators, and the media, off-balance.

"The boys in the West Wing are working overtime," said Dix Whitcomb, editor of the newsletter 'Our Laws Are Different', "to keep any hint of scandal away from The Commander Guy."

It's not clear, just yet, if "top level approval" means that President Bush has authorized Wolfowitz, and the World Bank, to move forward with blaming McNulty.

It also remains a question if this is a new "blame" strategy, or if the Bush Grindhouse is applying its' "Hello, We Must Be Going" policy to a new problem.

Pieces begin falling in place on Tuesday, when Crony General Alberto Gonzales emphatically laid blame for the U.S. Attorney Firing Scandal at the feet of his former #2 man at the Justice Department, McNulty, with extremely little blowback.

However, Gonzales' attempted deflection got washed over by the news of another former Deputy Attorney General, James Comey - serving under Attorney General John Ashcroft - and his testimony before Congress that Gonzales, along with former Chief of Staff Andy Card, attempted to get a ailing and hospitalized Ashcroft to sign off on the Bush Grindhouse's illegal wiretapping.

This didn't go unnoticed by the White House, and soon, according to sources, the plan to begin blaming McNulty, and others, were being drawn up.

Pinning the blame on McNulty for Wolfowitz's lack of ethics was actually the second option, according to a party close to the West Wing.

"The first choice was retired Lt. Gen. Philip Kensinger, from the Pat Tillman cover-up, but Kensinger balked at it ... I don't think he really understood what the White House was trying to do, not grasping the concept of crossing these scandals, but he knew enough to say no ..."

Other names that were drawn up for possible scapegoat usage for the World Bank and Wolfowtiz included former Vice President Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, the convicted "King of K Street", lobbyist Jack Abramoff, former FEMA Director Michael Brown, former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nation, John Bolton and even former Bush Domestic Policy Advisor Claude Allen, who resigned from the administration after being charged with shoplifting.

Bolton, our sources told us, exploded in anger with the notion of taking blame for "that candy-ass wus".

Vice President Cheney deflected any comment on the new "blame strategy", only saying that "it appears one of the heroes of the Iraq war is in his final throes."

With no movement today, either by the World Bank, or by Wolfowitz, who is asking for $375,000 to leave his post, it is not known if pinning the scandal on McNulty was implemented or not.

"This is a very fluid situation," offered David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?', the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party.

"With the way things are lining up against the Crony General," continued Aaronson, "he could end with the entire mess pinned on him."

Bonus Links

Barry Crimmins: Wolfy At The Door

Sidney Blumenthal: All hail the king

Juan Cole: Paul Wolfowitz's fatal weakness

Yes, Wolfie, People Will Be Talking, For Years, About You ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

The World Bank President, and former architect of the Iraq Invasion and Occupation fiasco, Paul Wolfowitz may be feeling a bit boxed in, as he waits for a scapegoat, and a bag big enough to haul off $375,000

Top Ten Cloves: Other Great Things You'll Get Using Google's New Retooled Search Engine

News Item: Seeking more traffic, Google widens format

10. If you are an illegal alien, when you finish your search, PRESTO!, you are now a full, naturalized U.S. citizen

9. Since we've already digitized the Bazooka Joe Comics, set your filter to conduct your search as Bazooka Joe (try it, it's fun)

8. One of the coolest features is that you can set filters to reset your entire life to "beta-mode"

7. Warning: We believe that George Soros may be a Google user, so, you run the risk of getting smeared by Fox News' Bill O'Reilly

6. Based on how ruthless you are with your searches, Google may contact you about becoming a Google Lobbyist

5. If you are a fan of Senator Ted Stevens, turn on the sound feature to hear your search clanging through the pipes

4. Warning: We are only retooling the Google Search Engine, not "The Google", that President Bush uses

3. The "I'm Feeling Lucky" search could make you really, really lucky - Random searches placed in lottery for Google stock

2. It's not on the system yet, but coming soon is all you will have to do is think about the search and your browser will automatically go to Google with all the results

1. Don't be alarmed ... If you search for the wrong thing, you'll hear Vice President Dick Cheney's voice telling you "Frankly, you're out of line with that question."

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Breaking News! Robertson Held For Questioning In Falwell Death

Threats Against Chavez, Sharon Make 700 Club Founder 'Person of Interest'

The Garlic has learned that police, from Lynchburg, Virginia, as well as a team of FBI agents, brought in and held 700 Club founder, Reverend Pat Robertson for over six-hours of questioning in the death of fellow televangelist Jerry Falwell yesterday.

The police were careful not to label Robertson a suspect, but merely "a person of interest".

Without offering any details on what led them to Robertson, a police spokesperson said curtly that "we felt, in the early hours of the investigation, that it was prudent to talk with Reverend Robertson."

A source close to the investigation indicated that natural causes is presently listed as the cause of death of the 73-year-old founder of the Moral Majority, and Liberty University.

Falwell was found in his office yesterday morning, lying on the floor, unconscious and without a pulse. After being rushed to the hospital, efforts to revive the man who blamed the Sept. 11th attacks on "abortionists, pagans, feminists, gays and lesbians and the ACLU" failed.

Soon after, police turned their attention to Robertson.

According to our sources, it was Robertson's call to assassinate Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez, as well as the suggestion that "God smote" Israeli leader Ariel Sharon that tipped police to bring in Robertson.

"We couldn't over look those incidents," offered an FBI agent involved in the investigation.

The FBI was brought in, in the event Robertson's curses traveled across state lines.

Robertson has a history of making threats, or outrageous claims.

In 1998, Robertson threatened the city of Orlando, Florida, for celebrating 'Gay Days', saying "... It'll bring about terrorist bombs, it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes and possibly a meteor."

Recently, in 2005, after the city of Dover, Pennsylvania voted not to teach "Intelligent Design" alongside Evolution, a decision that was upheld by the courts, Robertson warned the town that they could be hit by a natural disaster.

It was the sheer brazen of his curses and threats that caught the eye of the Bush Grindhouse, who last year brought in Robertson, to work his calls of destruction against the terrorists in Iraq, as well as Al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden.

And as is the case with the Bush Grindhouse, disaster soon struck.

Warming up and practicing before recording his condemnations and curses, Robertson may have inadvertently caused the death of hundreds of Muslims, when a stampede occurred at The Hajj.

Robertson was well represented at his interrogation, by staff and students of the law school he founded, Regent University, which has placed over 150 of its' graduated in the Bush Government, including Monica Goodling, at the Justice Department.

Goodling is scheduled to testify soon, in the growing U.S. Attorney Firing Scandal, that saw Crony General Alberto Gonzales place the blame of the troubles on his assistant, Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty.

No charges are expected to be filed against Robertson, in regards to the death of Falwell.

In a related matter, embattled World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz is reported to be interested in speaking with Robertson, to check his availibility on wrecking havoc on his accusers, in the scandal that has Wolfowitz giving an extremely generous pay raise to his girlfriend, Shaha Riza, when moving her over to the State Department shortly after taking the World Bank post.

The White House had no comment on the questioning of Robertson, and refused comment if Robertson would work in unison with the new War Czar Army Lt. Gen. Douglas E. Lute.

Bonus Links

Jerry Falwell - Lest We Forget...

For God's Sake

Hustler Magazine v. Falwell


The 700 Club’s Accu-Wrath Weather Forecast

Rev. Pat Robertson was held for over six-hours yesterday by police in Virgina, and questioned in connection with the death of Jerry Falwell

Top Ten Cloves: Potential Problems With Greenpeace's Noah's Ark

News Item: Greenpeace Builds Replica of Noah's Ark

10. Didn't take into account Laws of Nature and animals start attacking and killing each other

9. Takes a huge loss - Great Flood doesn't come and they end up dumping the thing on eBay for only $7

8. Catholic Church threatens lawsuit over copyright infringement - Makes them change name to "Larry's Ark"

7. Cable News already preparing a blizzard of "missing white female animal" stories

6. If the great flood does come, will be overwhelmed with rich people and celebrities looking to save their pets

5. Greenpeace gets badgered by Paul Wolfowitz, to give his girlfriend, Shaha Riza, a job on the ark

4. Richard Branson keeps buzzing them in his hot air balloon

3. Believing Greenpeace is really run by George Soros, Fox News' Bill O'Reilly begins a "War Against Arks"

2. Greenpeace gets badgered by Pat Robertson, saying God will sink the ark if there are any gays on it

1. President Bush shows up on the ark, in flight suit, and with a "Great Flood Accomplished" banner because he's "The Commander Guy"

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Cold Body Assoc. Denounces Gonzales For Finger-Pointing, Break In Tradition

"Blaming McNulty At This Point In Time Is Scurrilous"; CBA Membership Upset, Fears Could Be "Open Season" On Scapegoats

In a stinging, biting statement, the Cold Body Association denounced Crony General Alberto Gonzales this afternoon, for his comments this morning, blaming Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty for the U.S. Attorney Firing Scandal that has engulfed the Justice Department.

"Blaming McNulty," said CBA President Hiram Jenkowski, "at this point in time is scurrilous."

McNulty had, only yesterday, announced his resignation, indicating he would leave the department at the end of the summer, or, if a candidate was approved by the Senate sooner.

Gonzales, speaking at the National Press Club this morning, laid the blame for the scandal clearly at the feet of McNulty

"You have to remember, at the end of the day, the recommendations reflected the views of the deputy attorney general. He signed off on the names. And he would know better than anyone else, anyone in this room, anyone — again, the deputy attorney general would know best about the qualifications and the experiences of the United States attorneys community, and he signed off on the names."

The Crony General, who has testified twice before Congress, has defended himself , saying there was "nothing improper" in the firing, of now, up to 12 U.S. Attorneys.

Calls for Gonzales to resign have grown, and his appearances in testifying have left lawmakers stunned, at his lack of memory and knowledge on the workings of his own department.

"This is a profound break in our tradition," continued Jenkowski. "The Crony General knows better than anyone on how egregious his comments are. It's very clear in our by-laws, that you wait until a person has resigned or retired - the proverbial door-hitting-them-on-the ass moment - before you go around finger-pointing and laying blame."

The Cold Body Association claims to have "thousands" of members and is often relied on to mediate, and at times, intervene, in firings and resignations, ruling on what slurs, slams and other unjustified statements can be made, by both employer and employee.

"This has upset our membership terribly," said Jenkowski. "We've been flooded since this morning, with telephone calls and emails, all asking what this means ... Is it open season on us? ... Some have told us that they are holding off on retiring, fearing, instead of receiving a gold watch, they'll get buried in accusations ... At least six different members have said they've torn up their resignation letters."

Jenkowski stopped short of saying the CBA would lodge formal charges against the Crony General.

"He's on thin ice, as it is. If he gets fired, or impeached, than it's out of our hands and over to our sister association, the PPA.

The Political Patronage Association (PPA), a non-profit organization based in Chicago, is supporting the CBA in their protest and has called on Gonzales to retract his comments and immediately name a friend, donor or unqualified private or government employee to fill McNulty's position.

The PPA represents everyone, from political appointees, political hacks, No-Show employees and generations of relatives hired for government positions in which they are not qualified, and came to the defense of former FEMA Director Michael Brown back in 2005, after Brown was fired and blamed for the poor response to Hurricane Katrina.

"If by his statements today," added Jenkowski, the Crony General wants to start burning bridges, then so be it. We have a few CBA members that are still to testify before Congress, so, you can expect some fireworks and, likely, a few words about Gonzalez may just may make their way into the transcripts."

In a related matter, the CBA did approve a request from the World Bank, so that they could begin making defaming statements about bank president Paul Wolfowitz "before the door hits him in the ass."

"This is a situation," claimed Jenkowski, "that the smears and innuendo serve as the catalyst for forcing the departure, and in certain cases - certainly pertaining to Wolfowitz - we allow it."

Bonus Links

Administration Withheld E-Mails About Rove

Voter-Fraud Complaints by GOP Drove Dismissals


Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Crony General Alberto Gonzales has run afoul of the Cold Body Association, for his comments today, placing the blame for the U.S. Attorney Firing Scandal on Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty

Monday, May 14, 2007

"I'm Shocked ... Shocked To Find Terrorism Going On Here " ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Take heart Condi, at least, according to the Garlic Survey Poll voters, you being sans husband is not a concern to them.

But there is a raised eyebrow, as to getting some answers on all those WMD's, yellow cake and smoking-gun-mushroom-clouds you were raving about.

In case, in your globe-trotting, you haven't noticed, getting annoyed, saying you'll send a letter, when Waxman has issued subpoenas, isn't going to cut it.

Oh, and by the way, the flooding of Bush Grindhouse officials to counter George Tenet and his book, and your assertion that was, essentially, "Terrorism, what terrorism" was embarrassing.

There are paper trails and reports and video and a whole host of professionals who can rebut your claim that the Clinton Administration didn't leave you anything and you look absolutely silly trying to backtrack from your impassioned "imminent threat" rhetoric.

In fact Condi, here's something, from Keith Olbermann, to help refresh your memory;

Keith Olbermann proves Condi is a liar

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll May 6 - May 12, 2007

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's rather sudden flurry of diplomacy could signal ...

1. Using all resources and the power of her office to avoid Henry Waxman and testifying before his committee Tally 48%

2. Since the President announced he's "The Commander Guy", Rice is building up her chops to declare she's the "Diplomacy Gal" Tally 24%

3. Just building up her Frequent Flyer Miles Tally 15%

4. She's on a serious hunt for a husband Tally 12%

This week’s Poll - Vice President Dick Cheney's recent trip to Iraq and Saudi Arabia was really about ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Condi, do you know the tune "Neocon and Lovers"?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mothers Day ... And Let's Hear For Queen Noor!

Happy Mother's Day!

Hopefully, basking in the glow of the day will not involve under-cooked pancakes and spilling grape juice on your white comforter, with that traditional breakfast-in-bed.

However, the crayon-drawn, hand-made card just makes it all the better.

Quite a few good things out there, to celebrate Mother's Day, and bring attention to its' original roots, as well as a wonderful call-to-action.

On Friday (11 May), the ever-enchanting, Her Majesty Queen Noor of Jordan was a guest on CNN's Situation Room.

In talking about the original roots of Mother's Day being for peace, Queen Noor spoke most eloquently on what's happening over in Iraq, Israel, the Middle East region overall and offered;

"... because they're -- well, they should, because the Prophet Mohammed -- peace be upon him -- once was asked by one of his followers, "Who is it that I should look up to the most? Who is it that I should give the greatest attention to?" And the prophet replied, "Your mother."

"And then whom?" "Your mother." "And then whom?" "Your mother." "And then whom?" "Your father."

"The prophet and his followers in early Islam placed enormous value on the role of women. Economically, socially and politically, they were given rights to contribute in a society that people were still struggling for in the West. That's been obscured by politics in recent times. But those are the facts of our faith."

"I firmly believe that peace will only come to the region when mothers find their voice and say of the violence, "Enough is enough!".
Queen Noor also has a Special Commentary posted on CNN.Com

Noor: Let's reclaim Mother's Day for peace

A number of steps down on the royalty ladder, our own historically-elected Speaker-of-the-House, Nancy Pelosi, picks up on the call for mothers leading the charge to peace.

Nancy Pelosi: As A Mother

Not bad ideas in the least ... Something that, well, would make a mother proud to see happen.

Other Reading/Links

Transcript - The Situation Room 11 May 2007 - Interview With Queen Noor of Jordan

Her Majesty Queen Noor of Jordan

The Motherhood Manifesto

Mother's Day Proclamation - 1870 by Julia Ward Howe

Rediscover Mother's Day

"I firmly believe that peace will only come to the region when mothers find their voice and say of the violence, "Enough is enough!".