Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Potential Problems With Greenpeace's Noah's Ark

News Item: Greenpeace Builds Replica of Noah's Ark

10. Didn't take into account Laws of Nature and animals start attacking and killing each other

9. Takes a huge loss - Great Flood doesn't come and they end up dumping the thing on eBay for only $7

8. Catholic Church threatens lawsuit over copyright infringement - Makes them change name to "Larry's Ark"

7. Cable News already preparing a blizzard of "missing white female animal" stories

6. If the great flood does come, will be overwhelmed with rich people and celebrities looking to save their pets

5. Greenpeace gets badgered by Paul Wolfowitz, to give his girlfriend, Shaha Riza, a job on the ark

4. Richard Branson keeps buzzing them in his hot air balloon

3. Believing Greenpeace is really run by George Soros, Fox News' Bill O'Reilly begins a "War Against Arks"

2. Greenpeace gets badgered by Pat Robertson, saying God will sink the ark if there are any gays on it

1. President Bush shows up on the ark, in flight suit, and with a "Great Flood Accomplished" banner because he's "The Commander Guy"

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