Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Ways U.S. Winter Olympic Team Can Win More Gold Medals

10. Send Bode Miller home before the next race

9. Seek rule change to "American Idol-style" voting

8. Make teams facing the Men's Hockey squad play without a goalie

7. See if Karl Rove can come up with smear campaign, so vile, competition weeps and crumbles

6. Plant Mohammad cartoons in other countries' dorms

5. Get Bob Woodward to cover the Games - Results won't appear in newspapers for years

4. Get President Bush to wiretap competition, so they can learn their strategies

3. Start being more like the Democratic National Convention

2. Have Vice President Cheney attend the events - wearing his hunting gear

1. Announce that Dubai Ports World of the United Arab Emirates is taking over Olympic Security

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