The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

As we announced previously, The Garlic will be presenting The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day as an on-going feature.

We might be able to assume that the First Lady is helping the Chief Decider figure out just what to do about his Crony General, Alberto Gonzales, so we're not sure she got discouraged with the news broadcast last evening.

Then, she may double-dip in her disappointment, after Valerie Plame finishes testifying today to the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

No doubt it's likely to bum out the President and Vice President, that is, if they're not to busy, scurrying through emails they may have sent to, or received regarding the firing of the eight U.S. Attorneys.


Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Roadside Bomb Kills 4 U.S. Troops in Baghdad

Links

Laura Bush: Much Of Iraq Is ‘Stable,’ There’s Just ‘One Bombing A Day That Discourages Everybody’

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

Laura Bush: My husband never misled about Iraq

New Feature - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Friday, March 09, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

March 13, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

News Item: Mad About the Madness, and the Travesties, the Snubs and All the So-Called Experts

10. Issue memo okaying torture of mascots

9. At least one team would get bumped, in favor of another team that Karl Rove liked

8. If his favorite team loses, he would invoke the Patriot Act to reverse the score and give them the win

7. Cheney defends Gonzales, saying any criticism of him "will validate the strategy of al-Qaeda"

6. At halftime of championship game, Scooter Libby gets half-court shot - If he sinks it, he gets his pardon

5. Senator John McCain would be indicted for illegal gambling, for for his campaign website contest

4. Andrea Mitchell would back whatever Gonzales does, probably because she was drunk again

3. Laura Bush would back Gonzales and opine that "Many parts of tournament are stable ahh..now. But, of course, what we see on television is the one loss a day that discourages everybody."

2. Defend his actions of bumping teams from the tournamnet because "they play at the pleasure of the President"

1. It would come out Gonzales, and the White House, has a plan to replace all 64 teams with colleges that are more aligned with Bush Administration policies

Bonus Links

Special Report: Rough Justice - The Case Against Alberto Gonzales

Part I: Alberto Gonzales: A Willing Accessory at Justice

Part II: Alberto Gonzales, Presidential Enabler

Part III: Alberto Gonzales: The "Empty Suit" AG

If Alberto Gonzales was in charge of March Madness, At least one team would get bumped, in favor of another team that Karl Rove liked

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Well, if you’re on the Bush Team, the bright side of this is that it's gotten the Walter Reed Scandal off the front pages.

On the downside, for all of us, we peel off another layer of the corruption running rampant with Bush & Co., which, if you haven't been listening carefully, is not a scandal at all, but rather "at the pleasure of the President". If you're one of those eight U.S. Attorneys fired, it surely hasn't been a pleasure for them.

So, we now elevate Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to the status of some of his colleagues, and turn to Cole Porter to provide the AG with his own, new theme song


Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

When the only sound from those fired attorneys
is the heavy mumbles of the Democrat lackeys
that blathers on non-stop
I open shop

This AG so long has been gazing down
on the warward ways of this wayward town
her smile becomes a smirk, I go to work

Justice for sale
appetizing young Justice for sale
Justice thats fresh and still unspoiled
Justice thats only slightly soiled
Justice for sale

who will buy
who would like to sample my supply
who's prepared to pay the price
While I turn a blind eye
Justice for sale

let the press pipe of Justice
in their childish ways
I know every type of Justice
better far than they
if you want the thrill of Justice
I've been through the mill of Justice
old Justice
new Justice
every Justice but true Justice

Justice for sale
appetizing young Justice for sale
if you want to buy my wares
follow me to the White House stairs
Justice for sale


Links

Listen To A Clip of Elaine Delmar Singing "Love For Sale"

Cole Porter

Love for Sale (Cole Porter song)

Overblown Personnel Matters

Royal Flush: The purge of U.S. attorneys (partially) explained.


Other Bush Administration Garlic Songs

New Bush Theme Song - Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap

Blair and Cheney Sing A Duet: 'Blair, It's Not So Bad Out There'

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Our Girl Condi Gets A Theme Song - Neocons and Lovers

Whatever you say Boss!

Cosby Out At MSNBC But Still In Running For World Wonder Title

Smith Funeral Coverage Pushes Former Raspy-Voiced Anchor Ahead of Great Wall of China, But Trailing Pyramids of Giza

It's often said by optimists, that when one door closes, another door opens.

For MSNBC anchor Rita Cosby, she's now wishing that the open door is the portal to a new world title.

MSNBC announced that Cosby is being let go, canceling their plans for a 24-Hour Anna Nicole Smith channel that she was pegged to anchor.

At the same time, in a confluence of fate, Cosby is headed towards being a finalist in the contest voting on a new set of the Seven Wonders of the World.

Abrams: "Can't Count On White Woman Going Missing, or Dying Suddenly" To Justify Cosby Contract

With her contract expiring on April 1, 2007, Cosby was informed that it was not going to be renewed.

This was the second blow to Cosby, who last year, had her "Rita Cosby Live and Direct," replaced by the networks justice filler, 'Doc Blocks". Cosby languished, sparking briefly when former JonBenet Ramsey murder suspect John Mark Karr surfaced surfaced and, more recently, with her coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith case.

MSNBC President Dan Abrams confirmed Cosby's departure, with her last day being March 31st.

"It's just the pressure of the business," lamented Abrams. "Rita has a certain set of skills. We can't count on a white woman going missing, or one that dies suddenly, occuring enough to make the kind of investment like the 24-Hour Smith channel

In yet another measure of irony, when Cosby first joined MSNBC, coming from the Fox News Network, then President Rick Kaplin bumped the poster of Abrams in the main lobby, to accommodate Cosby's.

Abrams denied he was letting Cosby go, just to reclaim his poster's main lobby location.

Raspy, Husky Voice Cited In World Wonder Voting

Cosby was initially stunned to find that she was in the running for a World Wonder title.

Contest founder Bernard Weber was also, but as the votes poured in, the decision was made to let it go, to see how far she could rise.

"I was surprise, yes," said Weber, in a telephone interview with The Garlic. "I had no idea who she was. But there were many, many votes pouring in, and people marveling that her voice had to be a world wonder."

For much of Cosby's career, on-camera, she was noted, and criticized, for having a raspy, husky voice.

"There was a surge of voting, during that Anna Nicole Smith thing going on," added Weber. "It pushed her past the Great Wall of China, but still trailing the Pyramids in Giza.

Cosby, since taking a forced vacation that was a prelude to her dismal, has lost the raspiness and is speaking in a normal tone of voice.

"Gosh," said Cosby, "I like the voice I have now, but, if it means going the distance to get one of those World Wonder titles, I'll start chain-smoking and eating glass, if I have to."

Both Cosby and Weber dismissed Cosby's contest voting popularity due to a "suitcase full of rocks" that former MSNBC colleague Keith Olbermann offered as a measure on how dumb Cosby may be.

"No," said Weber, "We already have the Acropolis, Stonehenge and other locations in the contest, we don't need any more rocks."

Links

Welcome to the election of the New 7 Wonders of the World

Rita Cosby, American Hero










Headier days for Rita Cosby, chasing down murder suspects.

Cosby has been bounced from MSNBC and now awaits voting to become a finalist in the New 7 Wonders of the World contest

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

As we announced previously, The Garlic will be presenting The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day on as an on-going feature.

No doubt, the First Lady must be particularly discouraged today, as the insurgents are adopting new terror tactics.

Maybe she should get together with Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and advise him that it is the senseless killing that is what is truly immoral.

But then again, she may be a bit distracted, as the White House scrambles to come up with a cover story (or build a fire wall) on just what was their involvement in the firing of eight U.S. Attorneys.


Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Insurgents Burn Homes in Shiite Area


Links

Laura Bush: Much Of Iraq Is ‘Stable,’ There’s Just ‘One Bombing A Day That Discourages Everybody’

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

Laura Bush: My husband never misled about Iraq

New Feature - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Friday, March 09, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

High Tea for High Crimes?

Top Ten Cloves: Things The French Are Worried About With New 'Desert Louvre" in Dubai

News Item: Plans for 'Desert Louvre' Provoke Outrage in France

10. Well, I suppose it is a step up from Camel Racing

9. With Halliburton moving to Dubai, they have to be in cahoots, with Bush ... This is payback for us not supporting his Iraq invasion

8. What next, oil derricks that are replicas of the Eiffel Tower?

7. Maybe we can get them to hire the Corsicans to build the Desert Louvre - it will take them 10-years just to get to Dubai

6. Look at the bullshit the American went through last year, and that was just over dirty, smelly ports

5. Watch, within three-years, you'll see a remake of Lawrence of Arabia, staring Gérard Depardieu

4. First our art, then they'll take our food next - get ready for some Desert Coq au Caravan

3. Too bad Chirac is stepping down ... We could have gotten that Ann Coulter to call him a peu de fagot for doing this deal

2. I wonder if they'll be serving "Freedom Fries" at the Desert Louvre?

1. Well, at least they're not trying to take Jerry Lewis away from us

Hit The Road Dick, And Don't You Come Back, No More, No More, No More, No More ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

You have to believe, that even Ray Charles could see what a disaster Bush and Cheney have created.

And the rest of us already know that they haven't really had a "Plan A".

With the Scooter Libby Pardon on the backburner, Darth Vaderess, aka Ann Coulter, perhaps, Jumping The Shark, and the firing of the U.S. Attorneys not likely to grab and hold the headlines, The Garlic Poll voters believe it's going to take Libby's Leak Buddy, Vice President Dick Cheney, to head back over to Afghanistan to get the attention away from the Plan B-less President.

And don't even bother to ask about "Plan C" - It could be a surge of paintballers.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll March 5 - March 10, 2007

Since the President, and his Military Commander, have come out and admitted they don't have a "Plan B" for Iraq, we're likely to see ...

1. Sending Cheney back over to Afghanistan, and hope for another suicide bombing attempt so that will grab all the headlines Tally 32%

2. Bush not waiting for the next election and handing off the Iraq problem to the frontrunners in the campaign Tally 30%

3. Getting Ann Coulter to issue a sexual slur against the insurgents, to draw them out and call that Plan B Tally 29%

4. Smearing the Tony Blair, claiming Plan B was in place, but pulling out the British troops screws it all up Tally 9%


This week’s Poll - If it turns out that Karl Rove was the mastermind of firing the U.S. Attorneys, President Bush will ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

The Leak Buddies