Don't Wink At Me, Sarah Palin

I had intended to post this over the weekend, so, I am coming in a bit late with it.

However, it doesn't diminish how, tears-in-the-eyes, fall-on-the-floor, hysterical it was.

For those that missed this, a certain Flying Monkey of the Right Wing Freak Show got excited by Sarah Palin during the debate last Thursday evening.

Check that ...

He got VERY EXCITED!



Rich Lowery, from the National Review, posted this last Friday;

Projecting through the Screen [Rich Lowry]

A very wise TV executive once told me that the key to TV is projecting through the screen. It's one of the keys to the success of, say, a Bill O'Reilly, who comes through the screen and grabs you by the throat. Palin too projects through the screen like crazy. I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can't be learned; it's either something you have or you don't, and man, she's got it.

"so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing ..."

"sent little starbursts through the screen ..."

Ohhh, Jesus, get this boy a date.

Someone take him to a club, or sign'em up on Match.Com, or eHarmony, for surely, though, he does seem quite smitten with Mommy Moose, perhaps some other lovely lass will be "so sparkling" as to get his attention, or "send him little starbursts".

Needless to say, reaction around the World Wide Web was swift and, yes, mocking.

James Wolcott's "Winky Dinks";

Good thing Palin didn't blow a kiss at the camera or Lowry might have fucking fainted. I'm not a licensed psychotherapist but when you think the people on TV are addressing you personally and directly it's often a sign of incipient dementia.

And John Cole's "Paging John Derbyshire- Cleanup In the Gushing Fanboi Aisle"; knocked me off my chair;

By now you have all seen that Lowry quote (I have seen it at least five places), but as an amateur historian of sorts as a blogger, I felt it was necessary to add to the archives for posterity. I guarantee that Derbyshire poured four fingers of Maker’s Mark into his coffee when he read that baby this morning.

Steve Benen's "Return of the Swoon";

Good God, man, show some pride. You're a media professional, for crying out loud. You sat up when Palin winked at the camera? You saw "little starbursts"? And you published this?

The Wonkette's "Conservative Pundit Describes Boner He Got Watching Palin";

What Sarah Palin did was called “flirting.” And so far, at least one pundit on National Review’s The Corner blog has disclosed how much of a boner he got, in potentially the greatest Corner post of all time ...As our tipster pointed out, this sounds almost like a thrill running up Chris Matthews leg!

Too Much!

So, as we have often done, when those in the limelight need a lifeline, need a theme song for their self-created boondoggle.

We have a strong, sneaking suspicion, that Rich Lowery spent the weekend, with a bounce in his step, dancing in all those little starbursts bouncing around the room, singing this tune.

Don't Wink At Me, Sarah Palin

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
that I still need want your love after all that you haven't done

You won't believe me
All people will see is a Hockey Mom they once knew
Although she's dressed up to the nines
Is all that I see with you

I had to let it happen, I had to sit straight up
You couldn't stay all your life up in Alaska
Looking out of the window, seeing Russia across the bay

So you chose McCain
Running around, trying everything untrue
But nothing impressed me like your wink
I never expected it to

Chorus:

Don't wink at me, Sarah Palin
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my starbursts
Don't keep your distance

And as for fortune, and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seemed that the wink was all I desired

They are illusions
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me

Don't wink at me, Sarah Palin

(chorus)

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me and wink
And I will always be true

Lastly, click here to watch Keith Olbermann's take on it ... Both he, and the off-camera staff, could barely contain themselves


Bonus Little Starburst Riffs

Kos: There's something wrong with these people

Emptywheel: The Wink

Jeff Fecke: Rich Lowry’s Ejaculation


Bonus Bonus

Sinead O'Connor -- Don't Cry For Me Argentina

Ring of Lying - The New McCain-Palin Campaign Theme Song

Power comes from lying ... Lying big and getting the whole damn world to play along with you ... Once you got everybody agreeing with what they know in their hearts ain't true, you get them by the balls

Senator Roark, from “Sin City - That Yellow Bastard”

Yes, it is that dire.

We have to pull out, once again, the infamous Sin City quote.

Paul Krugman called it a "Blizzard of Lies"... Even the MSM is jumping off the Dead Campaign Express and calling it as it is - lies ...

And, please sit down for this, the Lyingest Liar of them all, the Grand Wizard of Smears, Karl Rove came out today and indicated he thought Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, and Mommy Mayor Moose, Vice President, Sarah "I'm not really a Vice-Presidential candidate, I just play one on the campaign trail" Palin's lying has gone to far (though, we must be cautious, this could have been Turd Blossom giving a coded signal to the Rove Rats of "Good Job!"; Rove, also today, indicated that ‘You can’t trust the fact-check organizations.’ - Here's the video of it).

So, as we have done so often, we offer a tune, a theme song, for this pugnacious prevaricating pair.

They can play it as a prelude to their speeches, undoubtedly filled with lies, to warm the crowd up (another thing they have been lying about), get that big applause line.

When they send their press release out to the media, they can include a small .wav file of it, so reporters will know, whatever they are sending, contains lies.

Let's all help make this their new calling card, their signature tune.

Jump in and sing along, you know the tune, it's a Johnny Cash classic.

The Ring of Lying

Lyin' is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of Lyin'

I fell into a burning ring of Lyin'
I went down, down, down and the Lyin' went higher
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of Lyin'
The ring of Lyin'

I fell into a burning ring of Lyin'
I went down, down, down and the Lyin' went higher
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of Lyin'
The ring of Lyin'

The taste of Lyin' is sweet
When Reformers like us meet
I fell for you like a child
Oh, but the Lyin' went wild

I fell into a burning ring of Lyin'
I went down, down, down and the Lyin' went higher
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of Lyin'
The ring of Lyin'

I fell into a burning ring of Lyin'
I went down, down, down and the Lyin' went higher
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of Lyin'
The ring of Lyin'

And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of Lyin'
The ring of Lyin'
The ring of Lyin'
The ring of Lyin'

Bonus Prevaricating Posts

A Times Editorial: Campaign of lies disgraces McCain

Brilliant at Breakfast: Hooray! An actual newspaper uses the "L" word

Brad Jacobson: 'McCain's Distortions' by Robert Greenwald

Eric Martin: Your Stupid Lies, It Just Makes Me Wince

Lance Mannion: Sarah Palin's lies are John McCain's lies

Josh Marshall: Unfit for High Office

Steve Benen: THE ROUTINE ACCEPTANCE OF OBVIOUS LIES...

The Night The Russians Rolled Into Georgia - McCain's August Anthem

Well, he did bring it up, managed to squeeze it in, in one of his cheating responses during the Saddleback Show the other evening.

We also learned about his musical tastes, being that he was groovin' to Abba's 'Dancing Queen" before he was shot down - even though the song didn't come out until after he came home from Vietnam (maybe Abba was "supporting the troops", sending them demo tapes, or something).

Between the cheatin' at Saddleback thing ...and, of course, that Christmas Light from the sky, The Guard-and-the-Cross-in-the-Sand thing (which is only getting worse, now, bobsledding downhill for him), and this evening, having Keith Olbermann slam him on the ground, for all this and more, with a Special Comment, our "Cone of Silence" veteran, Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain probably could use a new tune.

So, as we have done so often here on The Garlic, we have come up with a signature song, McCain's August Anthem, if you will ... Maybe something they can fire up out in Minneapolis ...

It's an old classic, that went #1 when Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny limped home from the war, so he can, without fear of looking like a jackass again, cite this tune as something he listened to on the plane, or wherever.

Sing along, you may not want to admit it, but you know it.

The Night The Russians Rolled Into Georgia

He was on his way home in the Straight Talk Express
Been two weeks and Obama's at the beach on a rest
He's listenin' to Abba 'fore he went home to her
Randy Scheunemann said "Hello"
And he said "Hi, what's doin', Wo?"
"John, sit down, I got some bad news, it's gonna hurt"
He said "I'm your best lobbyist and you know that's right"
"But your young democracy ain't alone tonight"
"Since you been gone she's been seein' that Putin boy, John "
Well, he got mad 'n' he saw red and Randy said "John, don'tcha lose your head"
" 'cause to tell ya the truth, I been makin' a lot of money myself"

That's the night that the Russians rolled into Georgia
That's the night that McCain pretended to be President
Well, don't trust your soul to no K Street sleazy lobbyist
'cause all the lobbyists in the town's got money in their hands

Well, Randy got scared and left the bus
Walkin' on home 'cause he didn't know who to trust
See, Randy didn't have many friends and he'd just lost him one
McCain thought his democracy musta fallen down
So he went home and finally found
The only thing his campaign had left him, that video, The One

And he went off to Randy's house
A'skippin' through the backwoods quiet as a mouse
Came upon some dollar bills too small for Randy to take
He looked through the screen at the back-porch door
And he saw Randy lyin' on the floor
In a pile of loot and he started to shake

Well, the Adoring Media was a'makin' their rounds
So he belted out some bellicose just to flag 'em down
And a big-bellied anchor and said "What is Mr. President?"
And the Media said "Anti-Christ" in a make-believe trial
And slapped the McCain on the back with a smile
Said' supper's waitin' at home and I gotta get to it"

That's the night that the Russians rolled into Georgia
That's the night that McCain pretended to be President
Well, don't trust your soul to no K Street sleazy lobbyist
'cause all the lobbyists in the town's got money in their hands

Well, they smeared Obama before he could say
The war mongering he saw while on his way
At Andy's house and back that night was Schmidt's
And the cheatin' democracy was still hunkered down
And that's one lie that'll never be found
See, big Stevie Schmidt don't miss when he aims his smears

That's the night that the Russians rolled into Georgia
That's the night that McCain pretended to be President
Well, don't trust your soul to no K Street sleazy lobbyist

FADE
'cause all the lobbyists in the town's got money in their hands

If you need some help, like a Karaoke thing, here's the original

Vicki Lawrence - The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia





Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny Riffs

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving

McCain Waves The POW Flag

If He Really Wanted To Scare'em, He Would Have Named Big Daddy Lipscomb ...

Is John McCain Buggering Little Boys?

Condi Sings Again!

This girl has learned well.

She ain't lettin' no one, nobody, crash her Condoleezza Rice Ballroom Dancing & Charm School, especially the guy who has crapped all over her boss's "Time Horizon".

We refer to this juicy nugget today;

Night before Obama flies abroad, Rice bars embassies from aiding candidates

The night before presumptive Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) left for Afghanistan, Iraq and Western Europe for a tour of US bases overseas, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice issued a cable to US missions forbidding them from holding events for presidential candidates or arrange meetings for them.

Rice issued no such cable prior to foreign excursions by presumptive Republican nominee Sen. John McCain (R-AZ).

"Provide de minimis assistance to the candidate with logistical arrangements," said the cable, according to the Times. "If the campaign staff wants to rent a bus for press, tell them where they can rent a bus."

Hmmm ... She might have been humming her theme song, while composing this cable, or, perhaps, exercising on her elliptical trainer ...

Whatever the case, she wasn't going to get caught flatfooted.

There's only one Iraq legacy on the table, to be hawked and bought, and good work wife Condi was standing by her man.

So, for such decisive, bold action, we pin another song to Condi's music stand.

Sing along, it's from the Beatles.

Don't Help

Don't Help, He may need somebody,
Don't Help, not just anybody,
Don't Help, he'll need someone, don't help.

When Obama was younger, so much younger than today,
He never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now that Hillary's gone, his nomination all but assured
Now I find I've changed my mind and closed the embassy doors

Don't Help him if you can, just let him down
And I do appreciate he gets the runaround.
Don't Help him, let the media give him a crown,
Won't you please, please not help

And now Obama's life has changed in oh so many ways,
Iraqi's dependence on us seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then the legacy is so insecure,
I know that I just need you not to let him in the door

Don't Help him if you can, just let him down
And I do appreciate he gets the runaround.
Don't Help him, let the media give him a crown,
Won't you please, please not help

When Obama was younger, so much younger than today,
He never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now that Hillary's gone, his nomination all but assured
Now I find I've changed my mind and closed the embassy doors

Don't Help him if you can, just let him down
And I do appreciate he gets the runaround.
Don't Help him, let the media give him a crown,
Won't you please, please not help, not help, not help, not help

Bonus Condi Riffs

Rice Audtioning For New Role of Aricept Spokesperson

New Liz Cheney Op-Ed!

Developing Story - Secretary of State Defends “Mushroom Cloud” Prediction; Rice Touts ‘Axis of Evil’ Program As “Wildly Successful” In Wake Of North Korea Nuke Test; AEL Members Adhering To Program; Allows Bush, World “Swift and Unfettered” Rhetoric” As Precursor To Planting Seeds of Democracy

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Condoleezza Rice Becoming NFL Commissioner

The New Hillary Soundtrack

Much as been made of Hillary Clinton's 3AM Fearmongering Ad (and, yes, The Garlic was in on the making).

And, of course, there was yesterday's launch, by The Washington Post, to undermine Obama and create a rallying cry for Hillary.

So, what's lacking here is a soundtrack ... Some good music to carry the day.

We found, what we believe, is the right song, for the right moment (and we don't even have to change the lyrics)

Call Me

If you're feeling sad and lonely
There's a service I can render
Tell the one who loves you only
I can be so warm and tender
Call me, don't be afraid, you can call me
Maybe it's late, but just call me
Tell me, and I'll be around ...

When it seems your friends desert you
There's somebody thinking of you
I'm the one who'll never hurt you
Maybe that's because I love you
Call me, don't be afraid, you can call me
Maybe it's late, but just call me
Tell me, and I'll be around ...

Now don't forget me
'Cause if you let me
I will always stay by you
You've got to trust me
That's how it must be
There's so much that I can do ...

If you call I'll be right with you
You and I should be together
Take this love I long to give you
I'll be at your side forever
Call me, don't be afraid, you can call me
Maybe it's late, but just call me
Tell me and I'll be around ...

Here's one of the better renditions of the song, by Astrud Gilberto, with Walter Wanderley

For The Congress Today, A New Song - Bush's Place (Or C-Jam Blues)

We tried to help them, when they took over back in January, pumping them up with an anthem.

However, it appears that our Congress, and in particular, the Democratic Leadership, is tone-deaf.

We had to strongly urge Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to go table shopping... He had to attempt to wake them up from their nap... We came out and called like it was - Hypocrites, The Bunch of Them!

And yet, astoundingly, with a sitting president sitting down at Nixonian levels of popularity, the Congress, and, again as we pointed out, the Democrats, still are holding their regular meetings of The Blank Check Club.

Rather then make him sit there, in all his resplendent relevancy, they cave... They cower and shrink and cave.

The New York Times had an editorial about it today ...

We have to call on the First Lady of Jazz, Ms. Ella Fitzgerald, to take us out of the week

Snap your fingers and tap your toes (Well, musically, not that other way) to "Bush's Place (also known as C-Jam Blues - you decide what the "C" should be for).

Bush's Place

Baby! take me down to Bush’s Place,
Softest Congress in town is Bush’s Place
Love that crying sound in Bush’s Place.
Republican Minorities do their tricks in Bush’s Place,
Idaho Senators swing their dicks in Bush’s Place
Come on! Get your bills passed in Bush’s Place!

You find yourself a threat, and when you want to met,
you look around and yell, “Terrorist!”
They fill your bill chock full of amnesty and shrink up
You’re jetting along with your Condi
It’s late second term, but baby, it’s still early!
If you’ve never been to Bush’s Place,
Take your bills into Bush’s Place
You'll get what you want in Bush’s Place

Bonus Links

Listen To A Clip of Ella Fitzgerald, with Duke Ellington, Sing "Duke's Place"

Senator Chris Dodd: The Military Commissions Act. Warrantless wiretapping. Shredding of Habeas Corpus. Torture. Extraordinary Rendition. Secret Prisons. No more.

Glenn Greenwald: AT&T, other telecoms, buy victory in lawsuits

Digby: Five Card Dud

New Garlic Song: Everything's Coming Up Iraq!

He still has some tough sledding, selling this Iraq thing.

And he pulled out all the stops last week ... The PetraeusReportPalooza... The prime-time, 36-country, extravaganza ...

He got the headlines he wanted, but it still ain't flying off the shelves.

The Garlic, as we so often have, knows exactly what to do.

The Commander Guy needs music!

High School Musical 2 is sweeping the country ... Senators are tapping their toes ...

He should have given the speech from the rotunda ... Tails and top hat, the military orchestra tucked off to the side, floor waxed and shining like a Presidential Medal of Freedom Award...

It's a classic ... Think Ethel Merman... Rosalind Russell... Belt it out!

Everything's Coming Up Iraq!

The Commander Guy
[Speaking] Finish? We're just beginning and there's no one to stop me at this time!
I had a dream, a dream about you, Petraeus
It's gonna come true, Petraeus
They think that we're through, but Petraeus,

I'll be swell! I'll be great!
Gonna have the whole Congress on the plate!
Starting here, Ending never,
Petraeus, everything's coming up Iraq!

Clear the decks! Clear the tracks!
I've got nothing to do but relax.
Blow a benchmark. Take a bow.
Petraeus, everything's coming up Iraq!

Now's my inning. Stand the Congress on it's ear!
Set it spinning! That'll be just the beginning!
Curtain up! Light the lights!
I've got nothing to hit but the heights!
I'll be swell! I'll be great!
I can tell. Just you wait.
That Freedom Institute I talk about is due!
Petraeus, everything's coming up Iraq for me and for you!

I can do it, all I need is some spin.
I can do it, Petraeus is gonna see to it!
Curtain up! Light the lights!
I got nothing to hit but the heights!
I can tell, wait and see.
There's the Neocons! Follow me!
And nothing's gonna stop us 'til we're through!
Petraeus, everything's coming up Iraq and daffodils!
Everything's coming up sunshine and Iraq!
Everything's gonna be bright lights and Iraq!
Everything's coming up Iraq for me and for you!

Listen to a clip of Rosalind Russell singing 'Everything's Coming Up Roses'

New Garlic Song: Bush Could Write A Book

Tough sledding on the Legacy Front these days.

Was it put out there to pick up more donations for the Bush Library? You know, like a PBS kind of thing, where, if you pledge so much, you get this, bump up to the next level, get that ...

Can't imagine they're offering a tote bag - those must all be deployed in Iraq, to lug around the cash to pay for the "success" in Al Anbar.

No, none of that liberal stuff ... Gotta go with a book ... Yeah, a book ... That'll get it out there ... Show that I'm tough ... Show that I'm sensitive ... Determined ... Resolute ... Yeah, a book will do it ...

Trouble is, speaking on the Legacy Front, when you write that kind of book, with more that a year left in your administration, and you start spinning the history ... Well, you need to fire the guy that forgot to tell you that there's a whole boatload of people out there - former staffers, colleagues, et all - that can, pretty much, blow you out of the water.

Ahhh, but so it goes.

And, as we, so often, have offered song to accompany The Commander Guy, in his stumbles, today we provide the soundtrack that will surely be used in the video loop that will play on at the Bush Library ... Or maybe his Freedom Institute ...

It's a standard, so sing along, loud and strong ...

Bush Could Write A Book

A B C D E F G
He never learned to spell,
At least not well.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
He never learned to count,
A great amount.

But his busy mind is burning to use what little learning it got,
He won't waste any time,
He'll lie while the iron is hot.

If they asked him, Bush could write a book
About the way they shock, and whisper, and mistook.
He could write a preface
On fabricating the threat
And the world will never forget.

And the simple neocon secret of his plot
Is just to tell them "you're with us, or not".
And the world discovers
As his book ends,
How to make two disasters
That he defends.

And the simple neocon secret of the plot
Is just to tell them "you're with us, or not".
And the world discovers
As his book ends,
How to make two disasters
That he defends.

Bonus Links

Listen To A Clip of George Shearing and Mel Torme on I Could Write A Book

Keith Olbermann: Pres. Bush's inconsistencies - A new biography about President Bush, “Dead Certain,” reveals many inconstancies in his public and private statements. Author Robert Draper discusses what to make of Bush.

Baker-Hamilton To Say “Start Over”; Reinstall Saddam And Retake Country, This Time With Plans; First Step Is To Reconstruct Baghdad To Pre-2003 Invasion Look; “Maintain a public front of “victory in Iraq”

Top Ten Cloves: Difficulties DC Comics' Batman May Have Fighting Osama bin Laden

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

The Night of the Jackal ... And A New Garlic Song - The Congress Sleeps Tonight

"The President wants a blank check. The Congress is not going to give it to him."

There's a scene in the taut, classic thriller 'Day of the Jackal' (and please, don't even think of bringing up the piece of crap with Bruce Willis and Richard Gere), where Inspector Lebel (played superbly by Michael Lonsdale) addresses the secret task force in charge of stopping the Jackal (Edward Fox) from assassinating Charles De Gaulle, and roots out a leaker.

After the astonished members settle down a minister asks "How did you know whose telephone to tap?" and Lebel responds, dryly and succinctly "I didn't, so I tapped them all."

So we now have the Bush Grindhouse, free to do as they please - once again, browbeating the Democrats into another losing vote - and, let's not forget, they have the extra billy club of that nifty Executive Order The Commander Guy gave himself last week.

So aside from some free passes to Wally World, as they jump in their station wagons for a month's vacation (and with the Iraqi Parliament cooling their heels in August, did Congress, or the President give our soldiers the time off over in Iraq?), what more can we do for our shrinking, emasculated Congress?

Why, a Garlic Song certainly would be welcomed, to serenade those that chose not to fight, not to serve, not assist the American people against this egregious attack from this person that occupies the great office of the President of the United States.

You know the tune, so sing along.

The Congress Sleeps Tonight

A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps,
A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps,

In the Capitol, the mighty Capitol
The Congress sleeps tonight
In the Senate the quivering Senate
Bush Gets His Way, Alright

Near the White House, the Unitarian White House
The Congress sleeps tonight
Near the White House, the law-breaking White House
They gave away our rights

Blush my darling and fear my darling
The Congress sleeps tonight
Don't rush my darling your acquiescing my darling
The Congress sleeps, with no oversight, tonight

A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps,
A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps

Bonus Links

Glenn Greenwald: Democrats' responsibility for Bush radicalism

Edward Copeland: Even the rulings against it are done in secret

Robert Parry: Bush's Secret Spying on Americans

Daily Kos: Senate Gives in on Wiretapping. 16 Dems Go Along

Sleep well, my darlings ...

Let's Hear It For The Quid Pro Quo ... New Garlic Song - Hush Little Libby

Well, we had to do something to feat the remarkable occasion, before the end-of-the-week.

It's not every day you witness the President of the United States work his end of-the-deal of a Quid Pro Quo, which, as we all know, is what down this past Monday afternoon.

The Bush Grindhouse was in peril.

One of there loyal own was about to be carted off to jail, despite the Bush Grindhouse's efforts to pack the courts with "their kind of judges".

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby did his part, back in 2002-2003, exposing covert CIA Agent Valerie Plame, kept doing his part, lying and obstructing justice during the subsequent investigation, in the Grand Jury, and completed his part during his trial earlier this year, by not calling his boss, the Vice President to testify, and by not testifying himself.

And he waited, if not nervously, patiently, through the sentencing and through the appeal to remain free on bond.

Then, without warning, The Commander Guy morphed into The Commutation Guy and Cheney could rest easy in his Secret Bunker, perhaps his first night, in many, without sleeping with the defibrillator nearby.

The Quid Pro Quo was complete.

Scooter Skates.

So, if he is going to skate, he needs a soundtrack, something he can groove and sway to as he rolls off into the sunset,

Everybody, sing along, it's an old school lullabye!

Hush Little Libby

Hush little Libby don't say a word
Cheney's gonna get your sentence deferred

If that Decider does his thing
It'll piss off the whole left wing

If the left wing bites our ass,
Cheney's gonna buy you a looking glass

If that looking glass gets broke,
Our asses will be covered by the Neocon folk

If those Neocon folk don't push,
We can just blame good ol' George W. Bush

And If George Bush doesn't fold his tent,
We can easily win this arguement

If the spin we spin won't bark,
Rove'll get Fredo to fire another shark

And if this deal just won't go down,
You'll still be the sweetest little liar in town

Bonus Links

Elizabeth de la Vega: Bush's Real Fourth of July Message to Nation: Unprintable

David Shuster dismantles Fouad Ajami’s comparison of Libby to our fallen soldiers

Impeachment Fever: America's Got It!

Update

John Dean: Bush’s Commutation Conflicts With His Own DoJ Guidelines














Libby and the Scooterettes

The Scooter Doesn't Skate ... New Garlic Song - Let's Jail Libby!

Well, Well, Well ...

No more aspens turning. No more lunches with Judy.

The Scooter doesn't skate. Hard time for one, royal hard-on.

Now, it remains to be seen if the Crony General and current Chief of Staff Josh Bolten rush over in the late of night to Judge Reggie Walton, imploring him to let The Scooter out on bail, so he can go through the charade of an appeal process, patiently tapping his toes, waiting for The Commander Guy, assuming his wrist isn't sore from signing Signing Statements, and pen his name to a pardon (that ground-shaking, like an earthquake, felt in the DC area around noontime today, was Cheney, with a head of steam, charging down to the Oval Office, red in face, foaming at the mouth, veins pulsing on his dome, demanding that pardon)

So, as we have in the past, The Garlic serenades The Scooter today, turning to the great Ray Charles' "Makin' Whoopie".

As always, sing along and let The Scooter hear you!

Let's Jail Libby

Another lie, Another June
Another Bush-Cheney Goon
Another season, another reason
Let's Jail Libby

New terror news, where's Condi Rice
the Scooter is nervous. he answers twice
its so Killin that he's not spillin'
Let's Jail Libby

Picture a secret bunker
down where the neocons cling
picture the same secret bunker
Think what a smear can bring

He's washing files and Cheney's notes
He's so ambitious for Russert's shows
but don't forget folks thats what you get folks
Let's Jail Libby

Three years or maybe less
what's this I hear? Well you can't you guess
He feels neglected and he's suspected
Let's Jail Libby

He sits alone most every night
He doesn't phone Scooter, he doesn't write
Cheney says he's busy but Scooter say's "is he?"
Let's Jail Libby

He doesn't raise much money
Matalin's busier than a whore
some donors who thinks she's funny
says a pardon's gonna cost much more

Scooter says now judge suppose I fail
And Cheney says the check is in the mail
Scooter you better keep it, our little secret
Let's Jail Libby

you better keep it
our little secret
Let's Jail Libby

Bonus Links

Listen To Ray Charles and The Opening Vamp of "Makin' Whoopie"

Elizabeth de la Vega's "Sentencing for Dummies; The Fate of I. Lewis Libby"

Scooter Libby is like Lil' Kim

How About Them Apples Vicky Toensing?

Right-wing noise machine: Plame not covert

OJ Out, Libby In, As Fox Looks To Make Lemonade Out Of Their Lemons; Reagan Snares Cheney Aide For “If I Leaked ...” Special; No Hush Money But Donation Made To Defense Fund

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song