Don't Wink At Me, Sarah Palin

I had intended to post this over the weekend, so, I am coming in a bit late with it.

However, it doesn't diminish how, tears-in-the-eyes, fall-on-the-floor, hysterical it was.

For those that missed this, a certain Flying Monkey of the Right Wing Freak Show got excited by Sarah Palin during the debate last Thursday evening.

Check that ...

He got VERY EXCITED!



Rich Lowery, from the National Review, posted this last Friday;

Projecting through the Screen [Rich Lowry]

A very wise TV executive once told me that the key to TV is projecting through the screen. It's one of the keys to the success of, say, a Bill O'Reilly, who comes through the screen and grabs you by the throat. Palin too projects through the screen like crazy. I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can't be learned; it's either something you have or you don't, and man, she's got it.

"so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing ..."

"sent little starbursts through the screen ..."

Ohhh, Jesus, get this boy a date.

Someone take him to a club, or sign'em up on Match.Com, or eHarmony, for surely, though, he does seem quite smitten with Mommy Moose, perhaps some other lovely lass will be "so sparkling" as to get his attention, or "send him little starbursts".

Needless to say, reaction around the World Wide Web was swift and, yes, mocking.

James Wolcott's "Winky Dinks";

Good thing Palin didn't blow a kiss at the camera or Lowry might have fucking fainted. I'm not a licensed psychotherapist but when you think the people on TV are addressing you personally and directly it's often a sign of incipient dementia.

And John Cole's "Paging John Derbyshire- Cleanup In the Gushing Fanboi Aisle"; knocked me off my chair;

By now you have all seen that Lowry quote (I have seen it at least five places), but as an amateur historian of sorts as a blogger, I felt it was necessary to add to the archives for posterity. I guarantee that Derbyshire poured four fingers of Maker’s Mark into his coffee when he read that baby this morning.

Steve Benen's "Return of the Swoon";

Good God, man, show some pride. You're a media professional, for crying out loud. You sat up when Palin winked at the camera? You saw "little starbursts"? And you published this?

The Wonkette's "Conservative Pundit Describes Boner He Got Watching Palin";

What Sarah Palin did was called “flirting.” And so far, at least one pundit on National Review’s The Corner blog has disclosed how much of a boner he got, in potentially the greatest Corner post of all time ...As our tipster pointed out, this sounds almost like a thrill running up Chris Matthews leg!

Too Much!

So, as we have often done, when those in the limelight need a lifeline, need a theme song for their self-created boondoggle.

We have a strong, sneaking suspicion, that Rich Lowery spent the weekend, with a bounce in his step, dancing in all those little starbursts bouncing around the room, singing this tune.

Don't Wink At Me, Sarah Palin

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
that I still need want your love after all that you haven't done

You won't believe me
All people will see is a Hockey Mom they once knew
Although she's dressed up to the nines
Is all that I see with you

I had to let it happen, I had to sit straight up
You couldn't stay all your life up in Alaska
Looking out of the window, seeing Russia across the bay

So you chose McCain
Running around, trying everything untrue
But nothing impressed me like your wink
I never expected it to

Chorus:

Don't wink at me, Sarah Palin
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my starbursts
Don't keep your distance

And as for fortune, and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seemed that the wink was all I desired

They are illusions
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me

Don't wink at me, Sarah Palin

(chorus)

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me and wink
And I will always be true

Lastly, click here to watch Keith Olbermann's take on it ... Both he, and the off-camera staff, could barely contain themselves


Bonus Little Starburst Riffs

Kos: There's something wrong with these people

Emptywheel: The Wink

Jeff Fecke: Rich Lowry’s Ejaculation


Bonus Bonus

Sinead O'Connor -- Don't Cry For Me Argentina