Friday, May 21, 2010

Dances With Oil

Hey, why not?

BP (Better Profits) is so fucked, I mean they don't know whether to piss, or wind their watches, and the Obama people keep patting them on the back, rather than putting them in handcuffs and getting them as far away from the crime scene as possible.

Especially so, being that Better Profits has been low-balling the amount of oil flooding into the Gulf, so they can mitigate, and lower losses in future court cases.

So, whether this works, or not, it isn't anything worse than what these Oil Criminals have been doing;

Kevin Costner may hold key to oil spill cleanup

So reads the LA Times headline, adding "Costner has invested 15 years and about $24 million in a novel way of sifting oil spills that he began working on while making his own maritime film, "Waterworld," released in 1995."


Scott Weinberg in his post "Kevin Costner Defends Waterworld" noted;

"But there seems to be a small fistful of movies that are "generally" accepted as big-time garbage -- and as this amusing Sydney Herald story points out, Kevin Costner's Waterworld is pretty much one of 'em."


Kev, stop. You've got a better chance at making a Sizzle Beach U.S.A. sequel than you would at convincing people that Waterworld doesn't stink to high heaven. Sure, there are varying degress of movie suckitude, and Waterworld may have earned a little extra abuse because of its ridiculous production problems ... but the thing's a turkey, man.
Back to the LA Times;
Costner has invested 15 years and about $24 million in a novel way of sifting oil spills that he began working on while making his own maritime film, "Waterworld," released in 1995.

Two decades later, BP and the U.S. Coast Guard plan to test six of his massive, stainless steel centrifugal oil separators next week. Plaquemines Parish President Billy Nungesser welcomed the effort, even as he and Louisiana officials blasted the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers for delays in approving an emergency plan to build sand "islands" to protect the bayous of his parish.


"The machines are essentially like big vacuum cleaners, which sit on barges and suck up oily water and spin it around at high speed," Houghtaling said. "On one side, it spits out pure oil, which can be recovered. The other side spits out 99% pure water."

If all goes according to plan, he said, "We could have as many as 26 machines dispatched throughout the gulf. Our largest machine is 112 inches high, weighs 2 ½ tons and cleans 210,000 gallons a day of oily water. We are hoping to have 10 machines that size out there — meaning we could potentially clean 2 million gallons of oil water a day."
Oh My!

Giant water Hoovers - Brilliant!

The Right Wing Freak Show Flying Monkeys are going to be flinging their feces around over this one.

Big, bad commie-filled Hollywood riding to rescue?

Better, they will likely adopt our Ran Kan Kan man, Rand Paul's take, channeling Donald Rumsfeld with his "Sometimes Accidents Happen."

But wait, there's more!

This isn't the first time Hollywood has rode, not just cinematically, to the rescue;
Meanwhile, "Avatar" director James Cameron has said that he would make his underwater vessels available, and actor-director Robert Redford appeared in a commercial, sponsored by the Natural Resources Defense Council, that uses the spill as a clarion call to move forward on clean energy.

It is not the first time Hollywood has come to the rescue with cutting-edge technology. Paul Winchell, a versatile ventriloquist and the voice of Tigger in " Winnie the Pooh," was also an inventor who patented an early artificial heart in the 1960s. In 1940, glamorous movie star Hedy Lamarr helped design an un-jammable communications system for use against Nazi Germany.

So, perhaps there's a good vibe there for Costner, something other than 'Waterworld', and, maybe, maybe he can squeeze out a sequel, along the lines of "Sea of Dreams";
If you spill it, he will come ...

This Date ... On The Garlic

21 May 2008... On The Garlic

And One More For The Road ...

21 May 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Results For The Garlic's Weekly Poll: The Real Reason The NSA Has Been Secretly Collecting The Phone Call Records In The Country Is ...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ran Kan Kan

Well, we've been trying.

Still hovering on the edge of the DL, it seems we were overly optimistic, after Monday's PT, feeling so good, we worked hard on the homefront on Tuesday, and paid the price for it.

Today's PT session did not give us the relief and comfort we were expecting, so we took it easy for most of the day/evening.

And so much happening, like BP (Better Profits) using the Coast Guard to chase away reporters to chase away reporters, to the crowning, last night, of Son of Paul, in Kentucky, a glowing candle in the Tea Party's "Take Back Our Country" cake.

It seems that Rand Paul is very much against racism, and is is using his 1st Amendment Right to say that while he likes elements of the Civil Rights Act, it really should be left to locals as to who they serve in their business, that they have 1st Amendment Rights as well, and Government shouldn't come in and tell them how to run their business.

Look for this to be a blazing billboard in the days-and-weeks ahead, so much so, likely the Flying Monkeys, of both the Right Wing Freak Show, and the Teabaggers, will be crying like that nerd whimpering about "Leave Britney Alone"

It's a toss-up, if it will be Michelle "Stalkin" Malkin, or Andrew Breitbart who first wails out "Leave Rand Alone!".

Now, if Rand only wants to let Wheel of Fortune drop one letter, he could run with this as a theme song, to show his love of diversity.

Hit it El Rey!

Tito Puente - Ran Kan Kan (HQ last recorded live performance)

This Date ... On The Garlic

19 May 2009... On The Garlic

Take Five

19 May 2008... On The Garlic

Controlled Unclassified Information ... Brilliant!

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Rumsfeld Dismiss Call For Space Weapons Program; "Happens every time a new Star Wars or some other Sci-Fi film comes out"

Top Ten Cloves: How Malcolm Glazer Will Make Manchester United and English Soccer More American

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hank Jones at 91, Legenday Jazz Pianist/Composer/Grammy Winner

Our In Box, this morning, carried the sad news, of the death of the great Jazz pianist, Hank Jones, at age 91, in the Bronx, New York.

We were lucky to have seen Hank Jones perform a handful of times, and it was always tremendous, a consummate professional, you left a Hank Jones show satisfied, and in awe, of his, seemingly, effortlessly manner of employing his gift.

From Dan Heckman, LA Times;

Hank Jones, jazz pianist who spanned styles and generations, dies at 91

Praised for the feather-soft precision of his touch, Jones was equally adept at unleashing the piano's full, orchestral gamut of sounds. Rhythmic lift and propulsive swing were inherent to his playing, whether performing as an accompanist or in a solo setting. And his deep understanding of harmony was the foundation for a skilled mastery of the diverse material in the Great American Songbook.


As recently as 2008, Los Angeles jazz audiences heard Jones in a pair of Southland performances — in a trio concert at UCLA and a 90th birthday celebration at the Hollywood Bowl — clearly illustrating that he had long ago ascended to the lofty level he described.


Over the next 15 years he was a first-call accompanist for virtually every major jazz artist of the time, backing Fitzgerald, Davis, Young, Adderley, Hawkins, Holiday and Ben Webster, among others. A three-year run with Norman Granz's Jazz at the Philharmonic from 1947 to 1950 matched him with Roy Eldridge, Max Roach and Parker. In 1955, with the release of "The Trio of Hank Jones" (with Wendell Marshall and Kenny Clarke), he began a six-decade sequence of supplementing his busy sideman schedule with recordings under his own name.

Look through your collection of Jazz records (okay, CD's, or downloads), and you may be surprised on just how many that Jones is manning the piano.

Peter Keepnews, NYT;
Mr. Jones spent much of his career in the background. For three and a half decades he was primarily a sideman, most notably with Ella Fitzgerald; for much of that time he also worked as a studio musician on radio and television.

His fellow musicians admired his imagination, his versatility and his distinctive style, which blended the urbanity and rhythmic drive of the Harlem stride pianists, the dexterity of Art Tatum and the harmonic daring of bebop. (The pianist, composer and conductor André Previn once called Mr. Jones his favorite pianist, “regardless of idiom.”)
And, as to that "effortless" way of playing?
“I think the way you practice has a lot to do with it,” he explained. “If you practice scales religiously and practice each note firmly with equal strength, certainly you’ll develop a certain smoothness. I used to practice a lot. I still do when I’m at home.” Mr. Jones was 78 years old at the time.

BBC: Hank Jones obituary

RIP Hank Jones, but do it as you always have - keep on swingin'!

Here's a few tunes you can check out.

Hank Jones - On Green Dolphin Street

Hank Jones Trio 1979 - Bluesette

Hank Jones: Willow Weep For Me

This Date ... On The Garlic

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Monday, May 17, 2010

Enjoying What Again?!

Like filler articles in newspapers, you gotta love the local television news anchors.

From ABC26 in New Orleans, there was a gem-of-a-gem the other day.

It came in a "Beauty Breakthrough" report, from reporter Catherine Shreves;

G-Shot Puts Sparks Back In Your Sex Life

The G-shot is usually performed by plastic surgeons or gynocologists. It's a quick injection of collagen-or hyalauranic acid (the same stuff used to plump our lips and fill in wrinkles) just at the base of the bladder. because the G-spot is anatomically tucked away, the goal of the G-shot is to make the G-spot more accessible.

G-Shot's official website says that in a pilot study, 87% of women surveyed reported enhanced sexual arousal/gratification after receiving the G-Shot.


The G-Shot is a simple, non-surgical, physician-administered procedure that takes about 10 minutes. The doctor starts by numbing the area around the G-Spot, then administers the injection of the collagen or hyaluronic acid (like Juvaderm or Restalayne) filler. Doctors say it is safe, but there can be some side-effects, like bleeding, infections, urinary retention, and even a sensation of always being sexually aroused. They also add that it does not work for everyone. The filler lasts between 4-6 months, and the cost is about $1200. The procedure is usually performed by plastic surgeons or gynecologists.

Okay, even if it wasn't the Sweeps, you can run with this story under the auspices of Health, or Lifestyles.

Well, it seems that Shreves colleague, anchor Michael Hill, asked a follow-up question, that left little, nothing, to the imagination;

News Anchor Talks About Enjoying Penis (G Spot Shot)

Give Michael Hill a case of Brawndo, and book him for a cameo in the sequel, Idiocracy II.

This Date ... On The Garlic

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WAPO Op-Ed Striking One Up For The Boys In The Band

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Sunday, May 16, 2010

A Little Something

West Side Story said it, suggested it, all with the aura of anticipation so thick, you could cut it;

West Side Story-Something's Coming

But wait!

It's here!

In today's NYT Op-Ed pages, from Rick Moranis!

Something Else

Go check it out ...

Or something ...

This Date ... On The Garlic

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