Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Things About If Abraham Lincoln Were Shot Today

News Item: Science and Medicine: Could Lincoln Have Survived?

10. Lincoln's HMO plan would have forced him to be taken to a hospital hours-away, in Virginia or Maryland

9. Booth would say he shot Lincoln to impress actress Lindsey Lohan

8. Ford Theatre owners would have prevented anyone for caring for Lincoln on-site, out of fear of lawsuits

7. When Homicide: Life On the Streets was running, Detective Steve Crosetti's part would have had to be written that he had an obsession with the Kennedy Assassination

6. You can be sure, if they took Lincoln to Walter Reed Medical Center, it would have been one of the good, clean wings

5. Jerry Falwell would have blamed the shooting on "abortionists, pagans, feminists, gays and lesbians and the ACLU".

4. Shooting wouldn't have happened; The illegal NSA Wiretapping program would have picked up the plot and John Wilkes Booth, John Surratt, Lewis Powell, David Herold, Mary Surratt and Dr. Samuel Mudd all would have been whisked away to Gitmo as "enemy combatants"

3. Remarkably, it would be nearly three days before the public hears about the Lincoln shooting, and it will come from Texas ranch owner, Katharine Armstrong

2. NBC would, two-days later, receive and broadcast a manifesto from John Wilkes Booth, igniting a controversy

1. Forget about Zapruder and Grassy Knolls, there'd be about 137 different videos from cellphone cameras capturing everything after the shot was fired

Bonus Links

The Trial of the Lincoln Assassination Conspirators

"Homicide: Life on the Street" (1993)TV-Series 1993-1999

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