The Garlic: 06/21/2009

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Imagenes Latinas

Good Evening Garlic Fans ...

So sorry for the lack-of-post, yesterday, and today.

We had a combination of things going on, from having to get The Aunt to the hospital last evening (now, reoccurring issue), and a complete flip around earlier today, with a family event (which we may post about in the next day, or two).

That left time, and energy, for creative posting AWOL.

Even this night, a rather languid, early summers' eve, calls for things other than work

Fortunately (for both of us) a tremendously pleasant discovery was made, a YouTube-version, of one of The Garlic's all-time favorites, "Imagenes Latinas", performed by the great Manny Oquendo y Conjunto Libre.

How I got into Manny Oquendo y Conjunto Libre was accidental.

Back in my early teens, just in the infancy of becoming a Jazz Freak, I had to wait to pick someone up (my mother, I believe), and there was, nearby, one of those Latina Religious shops, you know, the kind with the zillion of statues of the Madonna in the window.

I stepped in to check it out, still in time-killing mode, and, lo-and-behold, at the very back of the store, were a few bins of albums, which I started thumbing through.

Not very many names were familiar, and then, I happened on the Manny Oquendo y Conjunto Libre album, whose title escapes me.

What attracted me to the album, in reading the playlist and liner notes, was it included a Miles Davis tune, "Pent Up House", so I figured it was worth checking out.

Oh Boy!

It was en eye-opener, a jackpot of a whole new universe of music and sound, and the tune, "Imagenes Latinas" just knocked me out.

Manny Oquendo ...

Man, if you think Tito Puente is "El Rey de Timbales", you just gotta get hip to Manny Oquendo.

Unfortunately, Senor Oquendo passed away a few months ago.

Here's a snip, from his obit in the NYT;

By the late 1940s, he was playing with New York’s top bands along with Chano Pozo and Juan Torres, known as El Boy. When Mr. Oquendo joined Tito Puente’s orchestra as a bongo player he often used his sartorial and musical talents to attract the attention of the surging seas of dancers in places like the Palladium ballroom. In 1962, he joined Eddie Palmieri’s seminal band, La Perfecta, which challenged the big band scene with a smaller, conjunto lineup that called for fewer players and more improvisation.

[snip]

While playing in La Perfecta, where he met Mr. González, his future musical director and a bassist, Mr. Oquendo picked up and adapted the complex carnival rhythm called Mozambique, made popular in Cuba by Pello El Afrokán, and reworked it for the timbales, introducing a hypnotic African beat to the dance halls of New York. In 1974, he and Mr. González began Libre, creating a sound outside traditional parameters.

And, this;

It is with a very heavy and saddened heart that I state that Puerto Rican percussionist Manny Oquendo of Conjunto Libre has passed away. He had been ill for the past 2 years and this early morning in his home in NYC he awoke feeling badly and collapsed and died of a massive heart attack. Manny was 78 years of age. He was one of the hardest hitting timbales and bongo players of all time. He had played with some of the biggest names of Latin music from the late 1940s though the early 70s when he decided to join forces with Andy González and form Conjunto Libre later shortened to just Libre. He had played with both Palmieri brothers-Charlie and Eddie as well as both Titos, Rodríguez and Puente and numerous others. He also appeared as a guest sideman for many straight ahead jazz artists’ recordings. Curiously both he and Andy were born on January 1st in the Bronx of Puerto Rican parents , years apart though.

Some other Manny Oquendo links to check out;

Tribute to Master Timbalero Manny Oquendo

Manny Oquendo (1931 - 2009): A Career Based On Tradition And Innovation

So, here it is, "Imagenes Latinas", the vocalist is Herman Olivera, and check out the killer solo, by bassist, and co-leader, Andy Gonzalez (brother of Jerry Gonzalez, of the Fort Apache Band).

Conjunto Libre presenta Imagenes Latinas

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Unconvicted Child Molester Summoned For His Judgement Day

Well, Mark Sanford could up-and-move, lock, stock and barrel, to Argentina, and it would, barely, doubtfully, make a blip on the media landscape today.

Oh, the cruel irony of not hanging around Buenos Aires for, just, one more day.

The freak is dead ... The person who transformed his body (the eternal pursuit to look like Diana Ross) ... The Moonwalker ... The One-Glover ... Michael Jackson had the big one today, reportedly, possibly a heart attack, around 2:30PST, and is adios - muerte - on the big train to ... Well, somewhere ... Possibly a version of "Neverland", not to his liking.

Little boys across the land are exponentially safer this evening.

Sorry, but as cable news starts settling into, what will probably be a MichaelJacksonPalooza, fawning all over him, lets not forget that he had a strange, sick, weird, very likely, illegal and immoral - the biggest of sins - relationship, more so, an obsession, with young boys.

He paid off some of the cases, and, of course, was, astoundingly, acquitted in that circus of a trial.

And, here, that says more about him, that all of his gold records, combined.

The crush for info?

There's going to be a buses of nurses, interns, janitors, people just sitting in the waiting room, somebody walking by as the ambulance pulled in, heading out tomorrow, hitting the Southern California malls, buying big screen tv's, and such, with all the moohla tabloids, cable, and others must be frantically pulling out of their petty cash draws, with the biggest of biggest dollars, sitting there for the corpse shot (as Barry Crimmins noted, "What did they do, pull a sheet over his face? ... Isn't that redundant?)

And why are people gathering, like some kind of Fight Club Death Brigade, outside of the UCLA Medical Center?

MSNBC is reporting (haven't found any links on it yet), that, fittingly, fans of Jackson are leaving flowers on what they think is his star, on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.

Only the Unconvicted Child Molester's star is jammed up, under the Bruno premiere.

We're pretty sure that radio host Michael Jackson appreciates the gesture.

As to posts up around the World Wide Web, they're starting to roll in, the first wave of what will make a locust run look like a minor nuisance.

MG Siegler, from TechCrunch, reports that "The Web Collapses Under The Weight Of Michael Jackson’s Death", while Dan Frommer offers that "Twitter Confirms That People Can't Spell 'Michael Jackson'" ...

Lisa Derrick, on La Figa;

Bummer for the investors, Colony Capital, his fans and the folks who bought tickets for his 50 shows at London's 02 Arena. And it makes Sky Saxon of the Seeds this millenium's Darby Crash, Crash of the seminal punk band the Germs, died the night before John Lennon was murdered. Saxon's band the Seeds was best known for hit "Pushing Too Hard."

The best, though, goes to Wonkette, for the hysterical "MEGHAN MCCAIN IS NOW OFFICIALLY THE 'KING OF POP' ... A Children’s Treasury of Presidents Posing With Michael Jackson"

Nobody loved taking White House pictures with Jacko more than the Reagans. You might think, what does this insane delusional Hollywood performer have in common with Michael Jackson. Plenty! Reagan played a chimp called “Bonzo,” and Jacko used to fuck a chimp called “Bubbles.” Not so different after all ….

Sadly, this cretins' death knocked out of the headlines the death of someone, perhaps just as famous.

Farah Fawcett, at only age 62, lost her battle with cancer

We’ll have some links below, and then, just sit back and watch the media circus unfold.

There will so much to report ...

Perhaps, they will be summoning the descendants of the munchkins, from the 'Wizard of Oz', to act as pallbearers, or pull his caisson, Jackson, of course, dressed for his finale in ... God knows what.

I mean, this is the big, so he can't be buried in some run-of-the-mill, glittering, retro-Busby-Berkeley, high-kicking, army number thing ...

I wouldn't be surprised, if operatives for Jackson, are off to exhume the body of Augusto Pinochet, strip off whatever scrambled-egg-laden duds he was buried in, and tailor it for the gloved one.

Gotta look good for the last, Norma Desmond close-up.

Jacko Links

LA Times: Michael Jackson is dead [Updated]

Richard Lawson: Michael Jackson Dies at 50

Steve Clemons: Michael Singer Michael Jackson Dies

TMZ Staff: Michael Jackson Dies

Jacko Bombshell! ... Jackson Offers Embattled West To Be Mayor of Neverland ... Needs Experienced Help; 4-Year Contract, Regardless of Either Trial's Outcome

Tie Me Down Kangaroo, Sport ...

Most likely, a lot of people are going to see this, in the days ahead, in their local papers, perhaps as a "filler article", and, almost certainly, as one of those banter-inducers between the dual-headed anchors of local news broadcasts, you know, as either the lead-in to the weather, or the nights', leave'em laughing "final item".

It surely falls into the category of Odd News;

Tassie wallabies hopping high ... WALLABIES are hopping into Tasmania's opium poppy fields and getting high

The revelation has also solved what some growers say has spurred a campfire legend about mysterious crop circles which appear in the state's poppy paddocks. In true X-Files style, Attorney-General Lara Giddings said yesterday the drugged-up wallabies had been found hopping around in circles squashing the poppies, creating the formations.

The wallabies are increasingly entering the fields and eating the poppy heads.

That causes them to get high and run around in turns creating "crop circles

[snip]

Tasmanian Alkaloids field operations manager Rick Rockliff said wildlife and livestock which ate the poppies were known to "act weird" -- including deer in the state's highlands and sheep.

"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," Mr Rockliff said.

Skippy, The Bush Kangaroo cautions his cousins "dude, don't bogart that poppy..."

Perhaps, the officials down there, need to dig down into their cultural history, to come up with the answer, offered, many moons ago, by Rolf Harris (albeit, for a different species).

The Kangaroo Song

You Light Up My Courtroom

I can, honestly, say I never, ever, liked this song.

It goes way beyond mere schmaltziness ...

Actually, schmaltz would be tolerable, preferable, a giant leap of mankind, over this drivel.

And, I won't burden, or inflict you with, what would only be pure evil, as to posting a YouTube of it (just check out some of those who recorded it - Lee Greenwood, Robert Goulet, Perry Como, Steve Lawrence - and you can see why just some plain, ol' schmaltz would be just fine).

About the only thing that could make this worse, is if John Denver sung this song (for others, it might be Billy Joel)

We speak, of course, about "You Light Up My Life", or, more specifically, the songs' mickey-slipping-rapist writer, Joseph Brooks.

Oscar-Winning Songwriter Is Charged in Sex Assaults

A 71-year-old Oscar-winning songwriter and director was arrested and charged on Tuesday with raping and sexually assaulting 11 women he lured from the Pacific Northwest to his East Side Manhattan apartment from 2005 to 2008 using Craigslist and a talent Web site, the Manhattan district attorney announced.

The songwriter, Joseph Brooks, whose hit, “You Light Up My Life,” won the Academy Award in 1978, surrendered early Tuesday and appeared later in State Supreme Court on a 91-count indictment.

[snip]

He said that Mr. Brooks was charged with using Craigslist to advertise for aspiring actresses in the Seattle and Portland areas, paying for their air fares to New York. Once they got to his apartment at 130 East 63rd Street, Mr. Morgenthau said, “they were forced to drink a large glass of wine” and assaulted. The wine may have been drugged, he said.

Two of them later complained to rape counselors. The others were tracked down after investigators seized Mr. Brooks’s computer, the district attorney said.

Jumpin' Jesus! ... 91 counts!

More like "You Light Up The Monster In Me!"

If they can't make any of the charges stick, just play the song to the jury ...

Bonus Links

Daily Mail: Oscar-winning composer, 71, 'raped 11 women using Craigslist to lure victims with promise of film role'

Steve Huff: Joseph Brooks: Accused of Rape, Guilty of Really, Really Bad 70s Cinema

We Told You Some Buns Would Be Steamed

Holy Mustard and Relish, Batman!

We didn't even have time to let this stew into a Retro Garlic post.

Just the other evening, we posted "This Is Going To Steam A Lot of Buns", about the Obama White House, and State Department's plans to invite Iranian officials to July 4th festivities.

Then, lo-and-behold, we see this out on the WWW;

Officials: President Obama reconsidering July 4 invitations to Iran

The Obama administration is seriously considering not extending invitations to Iranian diplomats for July 4 celebrations overseas, senior administration officials tell CNN.

The officials said intense discussions on the issue were taking place, but the final decision had not been made.

[snip]

The Obama administration had decided to invite Iranians to the celebrations at overseas posts as part of President Obama's policy of engaging the Iranian regime.

As part of that engagement Obama videotaped a message for the Iranian people on the Persian New year and U.S. officials have engaged members of the Iranian government.

[snip]

But officials said the violence against protesters that has ensued since the June 12 election has caused the administration to rethink the timing of such engagement.

One senior administration official said Wednesday the reconsideration of the July 4th invitations is consistent with Obama's comments Tuesday, in which he said he was "shocked and appalled" at the violence against demonstrators.

And, today, the confirmation;

No Hot Dogs For You

WH rescinds July 4 invites to Iranians

DUH!

Likely, standing around the barbecue, cracking heads, torturing and killing citizens might put a damper on generating the small talk;

The torture of a 17-year-old in Iran ... A teenager's story, with graphic photos, of abuse at the hands of Iran's religious paramilitaries, the Basij

Unimaginable Horror In Tehran Today

Hey, there's always Columbus Day to shoot for ...

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Governor Gaucho!

The 1927 movie, staring the great Douglas Fairbanks (and Lupe Velez), 'The Gaucho', carried this riveting teaser;

A glorious tale of gay adventure and romantic daring on the wild plains of South America!

Saints and cutthroats! Shrines and robbers' lairs! A madcap mountain lass and a bandit chieftain---the Gaucho! A fiery tale of the most picturesque adventure beyond the Andes!

If Fairbanks was the prototype swashbuckler, than South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford takes the crown for being the seminal "swashbumbler".

We really wanted to stay away from this story, as it exploded on the World Wide Web over the past two, or three, days.

It was clear, from the get-go, that this madcap adventure by Governor Gaucho was FUBAR, all the way.

And, we do want to give props to Larisa Alexandrovna, who was on-the-money, early today - before Governor Gaucho's pathetic press conference - with "Did Gov. Sanford go on vacation with a mistress?";

Now, if I remember correctly, Argentina has phones and televisions. Why could his staff or anyone else not reach him for nearly a week? Moreover, his security detail was not with him. So unless the guy actually was in rehab all this time, the only other logical explanation is that he went on an unplanned trip or lied about a planned trip and wanted to keep it secret, to the point of causing national hysteria regarding his disappearance. The only reason to be that secretive is if you are taking a trip with a special friend.

I should note that I am speculating and have absolutely no proof that Sanford was vacationing with a lover. Yet as an investigative reporter I can tell you that his story is not credible.

Yes, Governor Gaucho was "vacationing with a lover"

I will speculate, that Team Governor Gaucho would have stuck to the story, that he was out, hiking the Appalachian Trail, if only it didn't surface that the First Day of Summer, this past Sunday, when Governor Gaucho was said to be on-the-trails, happened to be National Hike Naked Day.

Story not credible?

How's this endorsement, from his wife, yesterday, as Team Gaucho Governor still was running with the intrepid hiker line;

A CNN reporter tracked down Jenny Stanford at her Sullivan Island vacation home. Sounding less like the wife of a 2012 presidential contender and more like America's favorite reality TV star announcing her separation from her husband, she said: "I am being a mom today. I have not heard from my husband. I am taking care of my children."

Jenny Stanford had helped stoke the story yesterday when she told the AP she didn't know where her husband was.

It's unclear why hiking the Appalachian Trail would be something Sanford would keep from his wife.

What Was Rory Gilmore Doing At Governor Gaucho's Press Conference?

So, all the whispers ended today, when Governor Gaucho stood up to do a rambling Press Conference (and yes, he has separated from his wife, so, thankfully, we didn't get the Mrs. David-Vitter-Tammy Wynette-Stand-By-Your-Man, Bad-Politician's-Wife-Theatre), perhaps, attempting to stay ahead of this strengthening tsunami-of-a-story, and the hometown paper, that has, and will be printing (drumroll, please), EMAILS!!

"Two, mutual feelings .... You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light - but hey, that would be going into sexual details ..."

Good call there, Governor Gaucho, don't go there ...

And, one more thing about the press conference.

You can watch it HERE (via MSNBC), and, shortly after it starts, behind Governor Gaucho, and, also, a man in white polo shirt, is a young woman, who, uncannily, looks like Rory Gilmore.

Was the Yale Bulldog covering this?

Roland Hedley Aiming For A Pulitzer

One of Gary Trudeau's amazing characters, Roland Hedley, on his Twitter account, has been pounding the pavement on the Governor Gaucho story - Thankfully!

A sample ...

Prearranged for me to ask second question at Sanford presser. Will be reading question from Argentinian hiker.

Haley Barbour waits 4 mins, then elbows past Ensign, steps over Sanford: "Excuse me, y'all. Comin' through. Excuse me..."

Just terminated 14 email relationships. No more direct messages, please.

Children, elderly banned from Sanford presser over concerns of possible Full Monty.

Sanford story checking out. Campers in Ecuador, Bolivia, Paraguay report sightings of fast-moving, naked hiker.

Lastly, another bizarre, ironic twist to the Tale of Governor Gaucho.

H/T to @Will Bunch, who pointed to this article, from earlier in the month;

Sanford touts individual readiness ... Governor urges residents to have evacuation plans, emergency kits with proper supplies

We will be hearing, in the days, weeks, and months ahead, all about Governor Gaucho's "individual readiness".

Olé - Bonus Governor Gaucho Riffs

Zachary Roth: Sanford Press Conference Leaves Unanswered Questions

Will Bunch: No one would ever look for OUR governor on the Appalachian Trail!

Blu Gal: Dear Mrs. Sanford

Skippy, The Bush Kangaroo: what is it with these repressed republicans?

Think Progress: Will Republicans ‘Ask Questions’ Of Sanford, Rather Than ‘Circle The Wagons For One Of Our Tribe’?

Joe Gandelman: Two Reasons Why Mark Sanford’s Political Career Is Now Dead

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

This Is Going To Steam A Lot of Buns

I'm with Spencer Ackerman on this one;

No Hot Dogs For Iranian Regime Skullcrackers

This started out, at the beginning of the month;

A New Iran Overture, With Hot Dogs

SAN SALVADOR — Having sent the Iranian people a video greeting on their New Year, President Obama is now inviting them to help celebrate a quintessentially American holiday, the Fourth of July.

Last Friday, the State Department sent a cable to its embassies and consulates around the world notifying them that “they may invite representatives from the government of Iran” to their Independence Day celebrations — annual receptions that typically feature hot dogs, red-white-and-blue bunting and some perfunctory remarks about the founding fathers.

Then, following the rigged election, the protests, the murder of their citizens, the State Department has indicated that if still intends to fire-up the barbecue, and keep the Regime Thugs on the A-List;

There's no thought to rescinding the invitations to Iranian diplomats," State Department spokesman Ian Kelly told reporters.

"We have made a strategic decision to engage on a number of fronts with Iran," Kelly said. "We tried many years of isolation, and we're pursuing a different path now."

But he said it was not clear if Iranian diplomats had accepted the invitations.

Maybe those representing the Iranian Regime can bring some of their homeland games to the bash.

You know, things like the "three-legged-races", where they could have two Iranians, perhaps imprisoned protesters, with only three legs between the two ...

Or, "Bobbing for Apples", which, I might think, for the Iranian Regime, that this is just a variation of Waterboarding, only the players are kneeling, having the Royal Guards assisting them, holding their heads in the water, so they will have a better chance, presumably, of "snaring" one of the apples ...

I hope the State Department has balls, that, instead of "red-white-and-blue bunting", they hang "green-and-white".

Perhaps, invite those banned soccer players, as well.

GREEEEEEEEEEEEN! Turns To Blue

Well, that could be black-and-blue, for all we know.

Last week, in GREEEEEEEEEEEEN!, we offered the story of the heroics of members of the Iranian Soccer Team, wearing green wrist bands (or arm bands), during their match in the World Cup qualifier round.

Today, the other shoe (soccer and otherwise) dropped;

Iran bans election protest footballers

Their gesture attracted worldwide comment and drew the attention of football fans to Iran's political turmoil. Now the country's authorities have taken revenge by imposing life bans on players who sported green wristbands in a recent World Cup match in protest against Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's disputed re-election.

According to the pro-government newspaper Iran, four players – Ali Karimi, 31, Mehdi Mahdavikia, 32, Hosein Ka'abi, 24 and Vahid Hashemian, 32 – have been "retired" from the sport after their gesture in last Wednesday's match against South Korea in Seoul.

[snip]

Most of the players obeyed instructions to remove the armwear at half-time, but Mahdavikia wore his green captain's armband for the entire match. The four are also said to have been banned from giving media interviews.

The fate of the other two players who wore the wristbands is unknown. None of the team members were given back their passports upon returning to Tehran after the match, which ended in a 1-1 draw – a result that ended Iran's hopes of qualifying for next year's tournament.

[snip]

Ahmadinejad, a known football fan, has taken a close interest in the sport's affairs. In 2006 Iran was banned from international competition by the world governing body Fifa after claims of improper interference by his government. The ban was later lifted.

This year the national team coach Ali Daei was sacked, reportedly on Ahmadinejad's orders, after a 2-1 home defeat by Saudi Arabia.

Oh, boy ...

It is going to come to the Iranian Regime, sooner, or later, that they should be paying attention to the final stanza of lyrics, of ''Bein' Green' (from Ray Charles) that we posted previously;

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder green and it'll do fine, cause' it's beautiful
And I think it's what I want to be

From the rooftops ... Allah Akbar!

The New Majority Eschews Spell Check

"Spelling? ... What spelling? ... We don't have to show you no spelling ... We don't have to show you no stinking spelling! ..."

Apologies to B.Traven, for hijacking his prose, but we got ourselves some similar nasty bandits running around.

I guess, if you are Pat Buchanan, and you are going to start a New Majority, a new, English-Only Super Race, who has time for Spell Check.

It is, after all, a mandate for "English-Only", not, necessarily, correct English, or correctly spoken, and spelled, English.

Grunting, and hand-gestures (English language, of course) is just as good.

Spelling?

That's for those non-white, arugula-eating lefties ...

The new Uber-Majority isn't going to play that game ...

Under Misspelled Banner, Buchanan And White Nationalist Brimelow Argue For English-Only Initiatives

On Saturday, Pat Buchanan hosted a conference to discuss how Republicans can regain a majority in America. During one discussion, panelists suggested supporting English-only initiatives as a prime way of attracting “working class white Democrats.” The discussion ridiculed Judge Sotomayor for the fact that she studied children’s classics to improve her grammar while attending college. The panelists also suggested that, without English as the official language, President Obama would force Americans to speak Spanish.

One salient feature of the event was the banner hanging over the English-only advocates. The word conference was spelled “Conferenece."

Melissa McEwan labeled it, simply as "In Shit You Can't Make Up", while Andrew Sullivan suggested it is a "Malkin Award Nominee".

Kos, added a P.S. to his post, that was most wry;

p.s. When we're talking Spanish, yes, we're talking about you.

Maybe now, the MSNBC suits can sit down and provide an answer to MediaMatters (MSNBC's continued embrace of Pat Buchanan shows it still hasn't learned from Savage, Imus, Matthews fiascoes)

Meanwhile, someone send Buchanan, and his Uber-band of racist xenophobes, the Talking Words Factory™ DVD

Bonus Buchanan Uber Majority Riffs

Ali Frick: Leading White Nationalist To Speak At Pat Buchanan’s American Cause Conference This Month

Jamison Foser: While hanging out with white nationalist, Buchanan again attacks Sotomayor

Wonkette: English-Only Wingnut Conference Can’t Spell ‘Conference’

Ta-Nehisi Coates: Layers Upon Layers Of Fail

I Wonder Where They Learned This Trick?

I guess, in war, or revolutions, you either have to win, or die.

Otherwise, you get hit with a bill.

Here's a good head-shaker for you;

Iranian military said to charge family of dead son 'bullet fee'

The family of Kaveh Alipour, a 19-year-old Iranian killed amidst protests in Tehran, was allegedly charged a "bullet fee" by Iranian security forces, according to a report Tuesday in the Wall Street Journal.

"Upon learning of his son's death, the elder Mr. Alipour was told the family had to pay an equivalent of $3,000 as a "bullet fee"—a fee for the bullet used by security forces—before taking the body back," relatives purportedly told the Journal.

Details of Alipour's death remain unclear -- he was apparently not part of the protests and may have been killed in crossfire.

Because the slain Kaveh Alipour was an innocent bystander, is there a discount? ... Does the family get to haggle? ... Can the family go out to eBay, or Overstock, find a suitable replacement bullet, and, would the Iranian Regime accept that as payment?

Before you shake you head too much, where did we hear of something like this before?

Hmmmm ...

Oh yeah, The Bush Grindhouse!

Pentagon Demands Wounded Soldier Return Re-enlistment Bonus

Just in time for the holidays, there's a special place in Hell just waiting to be filled by some as-yet-unknown Pentagon bureaucrat. Apparently, thousands of wounded soldiers who served in Iraq are being asked to return part of their enlistment bonuses -- because their injuries prevented them from completing their tours.

From Pittsburgh's KDKA;

A few months later Fox was sent home. His injuries prohibited him from fulfilling three months of his commitment. A few days ago, he received a letter from the military demanding nearly $3,000 of his signing bonus back.

"I tried to do my best and serve my country. I was unfortunately hurt in the process. Now they're telling me they want their money back," he explained.

These dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds don't miss a trick, do they ...

It's like Joe Pesci said in Casino, "Always the dollars ... Always the fuckin' dollars ..."

Senator Bob Corker ... Instant Ignorant Dolt ... And, Flaming Asshole!

Oh yes, he gets Instant Ignorant Dolt status, for sure, but now, he's forcing us to put in some OT, to work a little harder, to figure out all that needs to go into firing up an "Instant Asshole" category.

Corker Impatiently Blows Off Meeting With Sotomayor Because She Was Slowed By Temporary Disability

Last Thursday, Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN) was scheduled to meet with Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor. Yet when Sotomayor was delayed because of her recent injury, Corker decided that he had more important things to do than to wait around for a potential lifetime appointee who is temporarily disabled:

Sen. Bob Corker blew off his meeting with Sonia Sotomayor last week. Hobbling along with her leg in a cast, she was 10 minutes late and he said he didn’t feel like waiting. “I decided to proceed on to the next meeting,” he told a Tennessee Press Association breakfast in Chattanooga.

Christy Hardin Smith chipped in "Why am I getting that "true colors shining through" feeling here from strutting peacock Sen. Bob Corker ..."

Let us hope Senator Bob Corker doesn't have to go through being inflicted with a disability.

We sure would hate to see anyone ignorantly blow him off ...

If you have time Senator Corker, if you can fit it into your busy schedule, stop by and pick up your Instant Ignorant Dolt (and Flaming Asshole) awards.

Bonus Corker Instant Ignorant Dolt Riffs

Jeff Woods: Corker Blows Off Meeting with Sotomayor

DownWithTyranny: A Handful Of GOP Obstructionists Still Want To Rail Against Sonia Sotomayor-- Just For The Sake Of Being Dicks

This Date ... On The Garlic

23 June 2008... On The Garlic

What's Next ... An "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" Reading List?

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things, Besides The Internet, That John McCain May Be Aware Of

RIP George Carlin ... And Start The Investigation

23 June 2007... On The Garlic

"I Am Spartacus" ... The Bush Grindhouse and Cheneypalooza

23 June 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Other Big, Breaking News Senator Rick Santorum Is Eager To Announce

23 June 2005... On The Garlic

Al Qaeda, OSHA Clash Over Workplace Safety; With Iraq As Training Facility, Safety Agency Wants Compliance

Disney Parks Overrun As Southern Baptists End Boycott; Gates Locked On Mob By 11AM; Nagging Children Key To Breaking Stalemate

Biden Looking At Presidential Run In 2008; Taking First Step of Staffing, Including Proofreaders and Fact Checkers

Winn-Dixie Announces Cuts of 22,000 Jobs; Movie Bombed, Cost Increases Prolong Bankruptcy

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things The Los Angles Times Might Experiment With

Monday, June 22, 2009

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Reasons There Was More Votes Than Voters In Iran

News Item: Worst. Damage Control. Ever

10. Looking back over the old Shah of Iran's playbook, to see what went wrong

9. Surprisingly, Ralph Nader got about 4% of the over-vote

8. Ballot-stuffing teams didn't stop to watch Susan Boyle

7. It was a sign, for Ahmandinejad to get almost a 2-1 ratio of votes, that he successfully employed Karl Rove's New Math

6. Ken Blackwell was seen, hanging around the Vote-Counting room

5. Supreme Leader didn't want to spend the money to do the "purple-finger" thing

4. Was a condition, for Ahmandinejad to name Dick Cheney as the head of his committee to vet the Vice President slot

3. CIA got wires crossed, thought Obama White House wanted to keep Ahmandinejad in office

2. Actually, some of the Die-Bold machines crashed, as a 3-1 ratio for Ahmandinejad was what was planned

1. Since everyone is using Twitter, thought that everyone got 140 votes each

Bonus Iran Riffs

Prairie Weather: "Oops. We screwed up. But that doesn't change the results of the vote."

Steve Benen: WHEN STRONG VOTER TURNOUT IS TOO STRONG...

NYT: Iranian Guards Issue Warning as Vote Errors Are Admitted

Robin Wright: In Iran, One Woman's Death May Have Many Consequences

James Joyner: 'Watching the Fall of Islamic Theocracy'

Steve Clemons: Khamenei's Mystique Shattered in Eyes of Iranians

GREEEEEEEEEEEEN!

"It's Now All of Iran!"

Somebody Check Jim Baker's Passport!

Tweedle-Dee, Twitter-Dough ... Dell Cashes In

Unless you have completely avoided turning your television on, or, did so, sticking your fingers in your ears, and screaming "LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA", in order not to hear any news, you are hip to the incredible promotion of Twitter, for the role it is playing in the Iranian Revolution.

We mentioned it Saturday, how "CNN has been on-the-case (albiet, doing mucho reporting on posts from Twitter, Facebook and others). Perhaps we need to come up with a new code, being, if "RT is "Re-Tweet", that CNN has been engaged in "RBRT" (Rebroadcasting Re-Tweets)."

Today, SiliconValley.Com picks up on it;

Unrest in Iran raises profile for Twitter

Twitter is suddenly in our face, from the front page of The New York Times to places like Twitterfall, a tweet-search site whose users have turned their logos green in support of Iranian reformist Mir Hossein Mousavi.

For protesters and their global supporters, privately held Twitter is a free, real-time and nearly censor-proof way to organize, inform and inspire one another. The Iran protest effort is already being called the Twitter Revolution.

[snip]

Twitter officials didn't return calls seeking comment about its business plans or mushrooming traffic — Compete.com recorded 19.7 million unique visitors in May, while some estimates put the monthly number much higher at 30 million — or the State Department's request that the company postpone its system maintenance last week to keep the tweet-tap flowing.

[snip]

Co-founder Biz Stone pointed that out in an interview last year with the Mercury News.

"We took it beyond text messaging," he said, "so that information could be delivered to anything — to IM, to your computer, to your cell phone. Then exposed enough of our technology and infrastructure so that other developers could build onto our message platform."

Stone's comments then about Twitter's potential uses as an organizing tool for both protests and disaster relief now seem prophetic.

"It's the huge numbers and the instant nature of it," he said. "For a shared event, something happening in the moment, Twitter is the perfect tool and people are using it to move as a group."

All fine and good, however, there is another revolution brewing, that is bound to produce crocodile tears on Madison Avenue.

Dell Says It Has Earned $3 Million From Twitter

These days, lots of companies are talking about their “Twitter strategy,” but few have figured out how to measure what amassing hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitter does for their businesses. Dell has shown that it can go directly to the top line.

Dell said Thursday night that the company had earned $3 million in revenue directly through Twitter since 2007, when it started posting coupons and word of new products on the microblogging site. In the last six months, Dell Outlet earned $1 million in sales from customers who came to the site from Twitter, after taking 18 months to earn its first $1 million. Dell has also earned another $1 million from people who click from Twitter to Dell Outlet to Dell.com and make a purchase there.

Dell joins companies like Starbucks, JetBlue and Whole Foods as one of the most active corporate Twitter users. “It’s a great way to fix customer problems and hear what customers have to say, it’s a great feedback forum and it leads to sales — how can you miss?” said Richard Binhammer, who works in Dell’s corporate affairs office and is active on its Twitter accounts.

[snip]

Dell also announces company and product news and talks directly with customers, responding to complaints or asking for feedback. There are about 200 Dell employees who talk to customers on Dell’s Twitter accounts, from a gaming expert to a server expert to members of the chief technology officer’s staff, Mr. Binhammer said.

For example, as I wrote in an article on the various ways people use Twitter, Dell heard on Twitter that customers thought the apostrophe and return keys were too close together on the Dell Mini 9 laptop and fixed the problem on the Dell Mini 10. Now, the Dell Mini product development team is asking around on Twitter for new ideas for the next generation of the computer.

I have to suspect, ad agencies across the land, since seeing this, are trying to conjure up plans, on how they can charge their clients hundreds-of-thousands, to millions, of dollars, to design and implement their "Twitter campaign".

Will we someday see a runner (perhaps a bankrupted, disheveled ex-ad-agency person), charging up the aisle with a sledgehammer, hurling it into a giant, jumbotron-sized screen of Twitter (and, it smashing in exactly 140 pieces)?

Link:

It's fairly certain, that 2010, will not be anything like 2009, at least in Twitterland ...

Bonus Twitter Riffs

MG Siegler: Twitter Is Down: 15 Alternative Things To Do

Will Leitch: How Tweet It Is ... Sure, the Twitter guys still have no idea how to make money off their fabulous invention. But for now they are living in a dreamworld of infinite possibilities, maybe the last one on Earth

Rio Palof: Twitter switch for Guardian, after 188 years of ink ... Newspaper to be available only on messaging service ... Experts say any story can be told in 140 characters

Consider This A Public Service

Roland Hedley, Star Journalist