Barry Crimmins Is Rolling ... Snake Eyes!

While the MSM (and a good chunk of the blogosphere) is all atwitter with "Diamonds and Pearls", from the CNN Democratic Debate the other night (brought to you by CNN - The Most Trusted Name in Vetted News), our favorite satirist, Barry Crimmins, was perusing other sections of the jewelry store.

And, if you are a Hillary Clinton (or Barack Obama) fan ... Ouch!

Crimmins wasted no time cutting through the glitz;

"The media watched, too, and is trumpeting word that Hillary Clinton got tough and put away her opponents. All I saw was Clinton turn on a fog machine whenever things got anywhere near specific and occasionally call anyone who criticized her a de facto Republican. But since the earth didn't crack open and suck her into a flaming abyss as she woodenly delivered gag-inducing lines like "I'm not playing, as some people say, the gender card here in Las Vegas. I'm just trying to play the winning card." the corporate media wags are again crowning her as invincible and inevitable."

Or this;

"On a night when her strategy was to call any critic a dirty Republican, the crowd booed and hissed several times when such criticism arose. In post-debate analysis, the talking heads respectfully discussed Hillary's tough rejoinders and then they noted the crowd's vocal disrespect to Clinton criticism. They treated these two things as separate and organic events. Then an ad came on for a fishing pole the size of a pen and we were supposed to buy that, too."

Crimmins lays it down on Hillary and, you can't say you didn't see the signs, or that you weren't warned.

Read Barry Crimmins' "Snake Eyes" or be prepared to settle for what you end up with in November 2008

Oh yeah, as to the Man from Illinois?

"But enough Hillary. Senator Obama carried a few billion gallons of polluted water for his corporate bosses to Las Vegas and it's a feat that shouldn't be overlooked."

I'm tempted to quote more, but it will read much better if you do it yourself ...

Great, on-the-money, stuff here ...

Visit Barry Crimmins website

Other Barry Crimmins on The Garlic

Bonus Debate Links

Michael Scherer/Salon - What you missed while watching "Project Runway"; The Democratic debate in Vegas: Fire-retardant pantsuits! Hecklers! Mysterious booing! GOP-style mudslinging! And a bizarre photo op.

Edward Copeland - The disgrace debate

Marc Ambinder - "Diamond v. Pearl" Student Blasts CNN (Updated With CNN Response)

Think Progress - Coal Industry Sponsoring Tonight’s CNN Democratic Presidential Debate














CNN microphones picked up these one-word exchanges, mumbled and under their breath, as Senators Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama passed each other on the debate stage; "Bitch" and "Terrorist"

Kerry Lowers The Boom On Boone ... Or Just Another GOP Smokescreen?

If you need another sign on the sinking USS GOP, perhaps the dust-up the past few days will serve as an indicator that the big money red-hatters are lowering the lifeboats (and, perhaps, staying in character, pushing the woman and children aside).

With the sorriest slate of candidates this side of the new Pakistan government, Texas moneybags T. Boone Pickens had chosen to drag up an issue - FROM FOUR-YEARS AGO!

Pickens offered up $1-Million to anyone that could disprove any one of the malicious, smears of the John Kerry Swift Boat saga.

Soooo ... Kerry stepped up to take the challenge.

Now, the word is Pickens is picking up his marbles and backing out of the deal;

Swift Boat Funder T. Boone Pickens Renegs On John Kerry Million Dollar Offer

As Jane Hamsher, over at Firedoglake writes;

"In other words, Pickens was full of bravado when he made the offer in a keynote address in front of a bunch of friendly right wingers at an American Spectator dinner, but when Kerry took him up on it, he was a bit too cowardly to back it up ..."

Not sure all this passes the smell test.

With the GOP's front runner, their "best bet to beat Hillary" America's 911 Mayor, taking incoming fire from his Bernie Kerik backing and, now, Judith Reagan planning her own surge aimed at Ms. Rudy, this has a look of a classic GOP/RNC move to jump up-and-down, waving their arms, all but shouting "Over Here!" to divert attention away from their sinking campaign.

Or, maybe, this was just the opening ceremony for the GOP, to celebrate the 34th anniversary of Richard Nixon "not being a crook".

Note to MSM and Bloggers - Don't waste the ink or the bandwidth ... Move on (no pun intended)!

Stay in the weeds there, Mr. T. Boring Smearings

Bonds Indicted ... Let's Have A Barrypalooza!

That Barry Bonds was indicted the other day, it carried about as much surprise as Lorelai and Luke finally hooking up on 'The Gilmore Girls'.

You knew it was going to come, you could envision it and it became just a matter of waiting for the moment.

But much like the rest of the country, almost assuredly, the residents of Stars Hollow would be equally disgusted with Bonds, and even more so with Major League Baseball.

Commissioner Bud 'Find Me Some Sand So I Can Stick My Head In It" Selig, and the rest of MLB's brass don't have enough lives to pay for the disgrace of allowing the charade (McGwire, Sosa, Bonds, et all) of steroid-fueled homerun races for the puny gain of selling a few more tickets.

Myself, and hundreds-of-thousands of other fans won't wait for the other slipper (MLB's feebleness in this matter doesn't allow to call it a shoe) of the Mitchell Investigation to drop, nor for MLB to firmly plant the integrity flag, and ignore the official records books to recount with pride;

All-Time Home Runs - Hank Aaron 755
Single Season Home Runs - Roger Maris 61

And we will firmly root for the first steroid-growth-hormone-free players when and if they pass these marks.

So, as Keith Olbermann does introducing Oddball ... Let's play Barrypalooza!


What happens next for Bonds

Top Ten Cloves: How Barry Bonds Celebrated Breaking Hank Aaron's Homerun Record Last Night

Retro Garlic ... Bonds Bashing and Landis Landing ... In The Lab ... Again

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal; Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone; Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Politics and Sports Collide; Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids; Drops Bombshell In Break From Tradition Established in 1934


















Hmmm ... That could have been a good story line ... Lorelai, to get Luke jealous starts dating a major league baseball player, while, unbeknownst to her, Rory, for the Yale Bulldog, is writing a major expose of steroids in baseball, naming her mother's new boyfriend ... That would be a Friday Night Dinner you wouldn't want to miss ...

Top Ten Cloves: Things Markos Moulitsas Will Have To Look Out For When Working With Karl Rove At Newsweek

News Item: Karl Rove Hired As Newsweek Contributor To ‘Balance’ Markos

10. Markos will need to remember, when they bump into each other, to call him "Turd Blossom", not "Turd Face"

9. Markos have to come up with a good response, when trapped in the elevator and Rove, boastfully, challenges him with "And how many times did the Grand Jury call you in?"

8. Markos can't look sheepish when Rove presses him on "How many governors did you get thrown in jail?"

7. It's back to school for Markos, to brush up on and learn that New Math of Roves'

6. If Markos wants to vote in 2008, as long as Markos works with Rove, he needs to verify - frequently - with his local voting commission that they have his correct address

5. One thing Markos can definitely ignore - Dancing lessons from Karl Rove

4. Markos shouldn't bite when Rove tries to get him to answer "And how many U.S. Attorneys did you get fired?"

3. If Markos has any family or relatives that work, covertly, for the CIA, he's got to keep that info away from Rove

2. Markos will have to come up with somebody, to be their brains, or have to endure Rove's sing-song taunts of "I'm Bush's Brain ... I'm Bush's Brain ..."

1. Markos shouldn't bring up, or interview, Margaret Spellings... Karl's still a little touchy about it ...













Why, It's A Mini Rovepalooza Linkfest

Kos: It's Karl Rove

Karl Rove's New Gig

Jane Hamsher/Firedoglake: Newsweek to Hire Karl Rove

Steve Benen/The Carpetbagger Report: Juan Williams defines ‘journalist’

Digby: "It's A Great Lie"

A Further Embellishment On The Appropriately Named CREEP

Logan Murphy/Crooks and Liars: Keith Olbermann Says Goodbye To Turd Blossom

Joan Walsh/Salon: The man who sold the war

Lou Dubose/Salon: The collapse of Karl Rove; The Pygmalion strategist from Texas built up the Republican Party by exploiting the religious right -- and now his handiwork is crumbling.

Markos - If he offers, pass on the dancing lessons

Oh No, We Have To ... Another "I'm Shocked, Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here!"

As Steve Benen, over at The Carpetbagger Report asks (rhetorically) "Where does the Bush gang find these guys? Hacks ‘R Us?"

Our "Shocked, Shocked" recipient today is none other than State Department Inspector General Howard L. (Cookie) Krongard, who came oh-so-close yesterday of jumping the shark, nearly denying he even had a brother.

Actually, it ended up playing out more like the old SNL bit - "It's a floor wax and a dessert topping" - with Krongard finally fessing up that "Yes he's my brother and he's on the Blackwater board".

Appearing before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee yesterday, who is looking into Krongard's possible criminal conduct regarding - and here's the "Shocked, Shocked" part - of burying/stonewalling/looking the other way (we're flexible, you call it what you want) investigations into Blackwater, for gun smuggling and, just how they got their golden egg contracts over in Iraq.

The sibling tango began when Krongard was hit with the info, surprise, surprise, that his brother - the former CIA official Alvin B. "Buzzy" Krongard - is currently a member of the Blackwater Worldwide advisory board.

After volleying (okay squirming) denials, Krongard finally broke down into the Chinatown scene, with the committee slapping him around and Krongard blubbering yes "he's Blackwater and my brother!"

The high drama continued to play out late in the day, when Brother Buzzy told TPMmuckraker, about Brother Cookie; "I told him I was going on this board. He claims I didn't tell him," Buzzy Krongard says. "So what can I tell you?"

And lest you think Cookie chills out after hours, check out Barry Crimmins and "It's Just Krong", which details "Think of it, the Inspector General, a man who is supposed to be beyond reproach, has been caught shaking down his own children!"

Sign these guys up for a reality show, they'll make the Osbournes look like The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.

Linkfest Below

Stay tuned on this one. This could play out, in the Bush Grindhouse Hall of Fame, of polishing Michael "Heck-of-a-job" Brown's apple - at least Brownie didn't have an Inspector General brother who's about as straight as a corkscrew.

Bonus Cookie and Buzzy Links

Crooks and Liars - Countdown: Blood Is Thicker Than Blackwater

Think Progress: ‘Buzzy’ Krongard contradicts brother’s testimony.

TPMmuckraker: Krongard Recuses Himself from Blackwater Investigations

FBI Concludes Blackwater Killings Unjustified

Other "I'm Shocked, Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here" On The Garlic

There'll Be A Lot Of Dummies Bidding On This One

When will the unbridled outrage hit?

Will we see a mountain of decks of playing cards being run over by a bulldozer?

Does Clear Channel wave the flag and ban broadcasting any bridge tournaments?

The feathers are flying in the big-time world of Competitive Bridge, as reported today by the NYT;

Display of Anti-Bush Sign Has Competitive Bridge World in an Uproar

"In the genteel world of bridge, disputes are usually handled quietly and rarely involve issues of national policy. But in a fight reminiscent of the brouhaha over an anti-Bush statement by Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks in 2003, a team of women who represented the United States at the world bridge championships in Shanghai last month is facing sanctions, including a yearlong ban from competition, for a spur-of-the-moment protest."

Can't you just see the Faux News gang jumping on this one?

Bill O'Reilly doing his typical, blowhard, fact-less talking points (and, what are the odds that he'll bring some level of creepy sex into it), rallying his pinheads to boycott sponsors, etc.

And that the French team sent a supporting email to the woman ... Man, O'Reilly will have months-and-months of forced outrage to work through on this one.

Sean Hannity, likely already beet-red-in-the-face ... So much so, he must be making plans to launch his own "Free Bid To Save America" concert tour, perhaps pairing up Lee Greenwood and Oliver North to "kick some bridge pansies asses".

Michelle "Stalkin" Malkin will call for these woman to be placed in internment camps, or, perhaps she'll do her stalkin' thing and then print their names, home addresses and telephone numbers on her blog, so the Freakshow nutjobs can harass them (and, heaven help these bridge woman if they have ever taken advantage of a government health program for children).

Strap yourselves in for an onslaught of jingoistic, patriotic morals lessons, and a parade of "bridge experts" on the cable news frontier, pontificating on how this is degrading and ruining the game of Bridge - and the country.

Can't you just see the intrepid Anderson Cooper doing a hushed, pained stand-up in front of a Bridge Tournament?

Or Tucker Carlson, back wearing the bow tie, so it can spin like a propeller in disbelief, conjuring up the anger, and drawing the clear and unmistakable line that this is all Hillary Clinton's fault (Hmm ... Grab the tinfoil hats ... Did the Clinton Campaign ask these Bridge Radicals to hold up the Anti-Bush sign?).

There'll be the stern pronouncements on how all this stains America, how it is such a bad example for our children and, yes, even professional Bridge players should be, without question, supporting the troops.

And how, clearly, these professional Bridge players are not supporting the troops.

It's the November Sweeps, and there's a writer's strike, so expect to see this one pumped up, loud and long, and, who knows, maybe a reality-based television program around Competitive Bridge will pop up (which would, likely, involve some stupid/dangerous/idiotic stunts while playing a game of Bridge, that could, or could not, include running a marathon, dancing, or having to perform work tasks, which they may, or may not be fired from).

Hmmm ... You can almost see the dreams of Emmy and Peabody awards forming over their heads.

And all of this with a single, exclusive, sponsor - The 43rd President of the United States.

Fade out to 'God Bless America'.

Roll Que Sera Sera with final credits.

Bonus Links

Jon Swift: Bridge Too Far

Truthdig: Bridge Protest Leaves U.S. Team Vulnerable

Keith Olbermann: Fox gone wild - Nov. 12: Filmmaker Robert Greenwald discusses how Fox’s programming may be at odds with its own family agenda.










Watch out ladies, the Rightwing Express may be barreling down the tracks in your direction

Top Ten Cloves: Unexpected Things That Could Happen When You Pray For Rain

News Item: Georgians Pray for Rain ... Literally; Governor Leads a Prayer Vigil for a Rain Storm on Capitol Steps

10. You can't get the music from ''Les Parapluies de Cherbourg' out of your head

9. Bush Grindhouse suddenly finds missing emails

8. Vibe of the pray may be so strong, that French rail workers go on strike

7. Presidential candidates run fear-mongering, idiotic, terrorist television commercials

6. NFL quarterbacks are prone to throwing a lot of interceptions

5. Some asshole thinks Joe Lieberman should be the Republican nominee for Vice President

4. Stalkin' "M-Squared" Malkin and the Rightwing Freakshow calls for a War on Thanksgiving

3. Inexplicably, people dropping dead, stuck inside cat doors

2. Mothers of Presidential Candidates go about dissing the Mormons

1. Fox News gets sued (please, pray for a 40-day rain if that's what can happen!)

Jeff Gannon's Still Copying-and-Pasting!

Oh boy, here we go again ...

Hillary soliciting and taking fake questions has brought America's favorite fake journalist - Jeff Gannon - out of his cubicle (Hmmm, wonder if it's styled after Jimmy Olson, famous cub reporter, or if he goes for the edgier, disheveled look, ala Bernstein and Woodward from 'All The President's Men', or maybe the retro, art deco Cary Grant-His Girl Friday motif?).

Following the Bush Grindhouse's attempt to just bypass all pretense of formality and conduct their own press conference - with their own people posing as journalists (see "Wag The FEMA"), Mr. Gannon, much to our surprise, left a lengthy comment, which we recount in "Jeff Gannon Speaks ... To The Garlic!".

And, it was discovered, that Gannon, much to our chagrin, was merely spamming the comment on just about any blog or site that noted his status as a fake journalist.

He's Still Copying-and-Pasting!

This week, he's badgering Jon Perr, over on Perrspectives, using the same exact comment (if your linked challenged, it's merely a copy-and-paste of a post from his own website)

He hits Perr's post “Hillary's Planted Questions and George W. Bush, Master of Political Theater” with his annoying self-promotion, to which Perr counters back with “Jeff Gannon Selling Book, Himself in the Blogs?”.

Now Perr had the same reaction as The Garlic, wondering if this was the real Jeff Gannon, or a fake Jeff Gannon (which we run that out in the Jeff Gannon Speaks post).

Gannon - and, remember, he's a "real journalist" now - counters back with more self-promotion, basically regurgitating the self-promotion he initially copy-and-pasted, and fanning out his feathers in the process.

Perr has responded back, asking for, well, verification of his claims and we've yet to hear back from the boy reporter.

It's The Dollars ... It's Always The Fucking Dollars ...

Just out of curiosity, The Garlic wanted to get a sense of Jeff Gannon, and his ever-puffed-up claims of being a real, professional, accredited journalist.

So, we took a cue from The Decider/Commander/Shakespeare Guy and used "The Google".

Jeff Gannon certainly is a popular fellow.

Searching Jeff Gannon: Results 1 - 10 of about 308,000 for Jeff Gannon.

Okay, he had his 15-minutes of fame, so that doesn't seem to be out-of-line.

Searching Jeff Gannon + Journalist: Results 1 - 10 of about 64,800 for Jeff Gannon + Journalist

Hmmm ... Pretty big drop there

Searching Jeff Gannon + Professional Journalist: Results 1 - 10 of about 12,000 for Jeff Gannon + Professional Journalist.

Yikes! ...

Searching Jeff Gannon + Accredited Journalist: Results 1 - 10 of about 9,860 for Jeff Gannon + Accredited Journalist.

The floor is caving in ...

Now, admittedly, this isn't all that scientific, and we lay no claims that this is the definitive judgment on whether or not Jeff Gannon is a real or fake journalist.

However, the trend shines through;

The further Jeff Gannon moves away from his heritage of being a fake journalist, the less popular he becomes.

Here's The New Plan

So Jeff, if you really want to sell that new book of yours, I suppose the laborious process of spam commenting might move a few copies.

But if you embrace, and run with, the fake journalist angle, sky's the limit!

Take a cue from others.

Abbie Hoffman. Noted social and political activist (I realize your rightwing buddies would probably describe him as a radical).

He played into his public image and put out "Steal This Book".

You can tweak things a bit.

I'll give you the "America's Favorite Fake Reporter" to use ... Maybe have one of your old escort photos on the cover (any publisher will tell you, sex sells) ... Get some new testimonials for the dust jacket ... You know, the Faux News crowd, or, whoever it was that snuck you into the White House ...

Ari Fleischer is running a new propaganda unit, he may be able to prop you up again.

Instead of combing through Google, or Technorati, Memeorandum, et all, to see who's dissing you, so you can do your copy-and-paste thing, you make these changes and you won't have time for spam commenting, you'll be hitting the circuit, the toast of the town.

There's a brand new 15-minutes of fame spotlight waiting for you Jeff Gannon.

Can't you just see all those book-signing posters, heralding "Tuesday, 2PM - America's Favorite Fake Reporter", with a photo of your newly-designed (remember, sex sells) book cover?

And if you really hit it right, think Oprah, and think the dressing down she gave that other fake author.

Through the roof, baby! ... Through the roof!

America's Favorite Fake Reporter

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Reasons Peyton Manning Threw Six Interceptions Last Evening

News Item: A night to forget; Manning hits new lows in Colts' bizarre loss to Bolts

10. Couldn't get a good grip - Worried the footballs were made in China and may have that date-rape drug on them

9. California Senator Diane Feinstein told him before the game, that, along with the Telecom Immunity, she'd vote that any interceptions he threw, he'd get immunity also and they won't count against his record

8. Wanted something really good to post on The Wall, in his Facebook profile

7. With the New England Patriots having a bye week, wanted to be extra sure he would get all the headlines today

6. Still pretty rattled, over martial law being dictated over in Pakistan

5. Misunderstanding - Thought the San Diego Chargers defensive backs were on strike, instead of the screen and television writers

4. Was consistently looking over his shoulder, for the kid with the stolen tank to come rolling into the stadium

3. Brought his politics onto the field - Is going to keep throwing interceptions until Vice President Dick Cheney is impeached

2. Two of the interceptions were because Hillary Clinton's campaign asked him to do it

1. "You mean everyone in America doesn't get a free taco from Taco Bell if I throw six interceptions?"

Bonus NFL Links

More Steroid Hearings - The NFL Goes To Congress; McGwire Surprise Witness; Still Not Talking

Developing Story! Tancredo: Shut Down Super Bowl; Says Two Black Coaches "Amounts To Segregation"; Appeals To NFL Commissioner To Make Big Game "Color-Blind"; Biden Weighs In, Backs Coaches

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge; Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage














Two of the interceptions were because Hillary Clinton's campaign asked him to do it

Dick Cheney's Not Darth Vader ... He's Harry Caul!

Perhaps, when the regime's term finally ends, we'll find Vice President Dick Cheney sitting in his secret bunker, the floorboards torn up, the walls ripped out, light fixtures disassembled, the sharp bits of broken figurines littered about.

It could be his last, futile attempt at finding those mushroom-clouding WMD's.

In hindsight, though, we've all had it wrong.

Cheney isn't Darth Vader.

He's Harry Caul, the paranoid surveillance freak from The Conversation.

From Wikipedia;

"Caul is utterly professional at work, but he finds personal contact difficult. He is exquisitely uncomfortable in dense crowds and withdrawn and taciturn in more intimate situations; he is also reticent and secretive with work colleagues."

From Filmsite.org;

"Its claustrophobic themes of the destruction of privacy, alienation, guilt, voyeurism, justified paranoia, unprincipled corporate power and personal responsibility effectively responded to growing, ominous 20th century threats of eavesdropping to personal liberties."

Certainly more than a handful of the Vice President's characteristics in there.

Unlike Harry Caul of the movies, Cheney/Harry Caul isn't hunting for electronic bugs - He is looking for Iranians!

And, gosh-darn-it, he's gonna get his Iranians ... He's going to fuss-and-fume, and stamp his feet until he gets his Iranians.

Where does this new, cinematic revisionist view of the Secret-Energy-Meeting Vice President come from?

Iraqi fighters 'grilled for evidence on Iran'; Interrogator says US military seeks evidence incriminating Tehran

The Guardian Unlimited has a report filed today, indicating military interrogators are feeling the thumbs-on-the-backs-of-their-necks kind of pressure to come up with evidence of Iranian involvement in Iraq.

"US military officials are putting huge pressure on interrogators who question Iraqi insurgents to find incriminating evidence pointing to Iran, it was claimed last night."

"Other military intelligence officials in Iraq refused to comment, but one said: 'The message is, "Got to find a link with Iran, got to find a link with Iran." It's sickening.'

And then there this, from IPS;

POLITICS-US: Cheney Tried to Stifle Dissent in Iran NIE

It appears that our Cheney/Harry Caul is gumming up the release of the latest National Intelligence Estimate on Iran, while he rips up the floorboards, searching out those darn Iranians.

"But this pressure on intelligence analysts, obviously instigated by Cheney himself, has not produced a draft estimate without those dissenting views, these sources say. The White House has now apparently decided to release the unsatisfactory draft NIE, but without making its key findings public."

In the move version, our Cheney/Harry Caul would be sitting with a tape recorder, wearing headphones, sweating, increasingly showing signs of agitation, as he plays and rewinds a piece of tape, back-and-forth, without getting his desired results.

"Former CIA officer Philip Giraldi provided a similar account, based on his own sources in the intelligence community. He told IPS that intelligence analysts have had to review and rewrite their findings three times, because of pressure from the White House.

"The White House wants a document that it can use as evidence for its Iran policy," says Giraldi. Despite pressures on them to change their dissenting conclusions, however, Giraldi says some analysts have refused to go along with conclusions that they believe are not supported by the evidence."

Hmmm ... Haven't we seen this movie before?

Send your refund request to the attention of Dennis Kucinich and the House Judiciary Committee.


Bonus, But Not De-Bugged, Links

David Swanson/AfterDowningStreet: The Low Down on Dick Cheney

McClatchy Newspapers: The confrontation with Iran - Experts: No evidence of Iranian nuclear weapons program

Seymour M. Hersh: Shifting Targets; The Administration’s plan for Iran.

Something Rudy II ... Endorsements, Plugs, Unplugs and An Accolade (of sorts)

Perhaps, future political science courses may point to this past week of Rudy 9-11's campaign as the type of 1-2-disasters future candidates will want to avoid.

We speak of course of the curse-throwing, world-leader-hitman-wannabe Pat Robertson's endorsement, and the indictment of his crime-fighting Robin, Bernie Kerik.

And it had to be just a coincidence (wink, wink) that today, the Boston Globe, in their "series of occasional articles examining the 2008 candidates for president" features Mr. 9-11, in "Defining moments | Rudy Giuliani; Skills at ready when crisis struck", of which Jeralyn Merritt, over on TalkLeft, offers the choice excerpts in her "Rudy Unplugged".

But Rudy doesn't come away, completely, with a goose egg ... He does win an accolade, (of sorts), from Barry Crimmins, and it's the line-of-the-day;

" ...Giuliani now edges out Don Imus for the worst sidekick named "Bernard."

We shouldn't be surprised if it leaks out that Rudy threw his high-heel pumps across the room in frustration.

Bonus Rudy Riffs

Fred Kaplan/Slate - The Man Who Knows Too Little; What Rudy Giuliani's greedy decision to quit the Iraq Study Group reveals about his candidacy.

Attytood: Strange bedfellows: Robertson wanted to assassinate one of Giuliani's lobbying clients

Something Rudy

In The Glass-Half-Full Thing, Good News, Foreign Diplomats, You Now Have Choices ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Oh, it would have been so rich to watch ...

Mr. Viceroy ... The Ambassador Extraordinaire, L. Paul Bremer, taking the controls, yet again ... Would he have followed the same script, same plans, and thoroughly tear apart Pakistan, as he did in Iraq? ...

We'll never know (well, we shouldn't say that just yet), because the Bush Grindhouse hasn't done very much as it's template for democracy - Pakistan - is currently in meltdown.

Some very light lip service about "get your shit together" and no slowdown, apparently, on stuffing Musharraf's pockets with money.

But, we digress,

The voters of The Garlic's Weekly Poll showed some darn, heart-tugging patriotism this past week, showing they want to pitch in and contribute.

They voted for giving the Foreign Diplomats of our State Department a glass-half-full, optimistic choice for their service.

Pretty darn nice of them, don't you think?

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll November 3 - November 11, 2007

Bush and Cheney's first instincts after hearing the news in Pakistan were ...

1. Solve State Dept. problem - Diplomats now have a choice - Iraq or Pakistan Tally 34%

2. Check with L. Paul Bremer to see if he was up for ruining another country Tally 30%

3. Quickly get Cheney booked on MTP, to immediately start blaming Iran Tally 23%

4. Start packaging a supply of waterboards to send to Musharraf Tally 13%

This week’s Poll - If Condi Rice is having trouble managing the Department of State, she should ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote


Bonus Glass Half Full Links

Pete Moore/Salon: The secret Iraq documents my 8-year-old found

Juan Cole: Time to Close the US Embassy

All You New Iraq Diplomats, Don't Forget To Pack Your Brooms

Mr. Viceroy ... The Ambassador Extraordinaire