"A concentration camp within a concentration camp that we pay a Communist nation to host."
I have to wonder, with all that we know so far, do they have a secret handshake as well? Have they issued super secret decoder rings? Lapel buttons, so they can know who is one of them, nod silently and knowingly, as they pass each other?
Well, after the Crony General the other day, the "Hear-No-Evil, See-No-Evil, Speak-No-Justice" Crony General, it really shouldn't come as a surprise that it has been uncovered that we have secret prisons inside secret prisons.
Only in the Bush Grindhouse...
We really should have titled this post "An Evil Enigma, Wrapped Inside A Riddle of Lies"
Larisa Alexandrovna, on her At-Largely, doesn't pull any punches, in a great post this past Thursday, "The Tesseract Archipelago..."
Here's a few nuggets;"For the commie fearing right-wingers, their collective silence about US funding of communist Cuba through a business arrangement in which they give us land to house our concentration camps on is astounding. It is, however, no surprise that nationalists see human rights abuses as a necessary fall-out of war. After all, Christian extremists, like their Muslim counterparts see war as a tool of God, and they see God in a single man giving them orders, not in anything divine:
Maybe this is the reason that The Commander Guy thinks Vice President Darth Vader is "The Best Vice President In History".
Aside from the security propaganda and its flag-waving boot-marchers, however, I want a legitimate explanation as to why we need this many camps, this many secret camps within camps, and just who the hell is being held there in secret and why in secret. I demand this as a US citizen. Because if we have people secretly boxed within secret boxes, which house even more secret boxes filled with even more secret people, then we cannot continue calling ourselves a democracy."
How nicely it fits ... The secret, Shadow Government running secret prisons inside secret prisons.
Read Larisa's "The Tesseract Archipelago..."
Add it to the ever-growing Clean-Up/To-Do List, once we get these criminals out of office.
Bonus Secret Prisons Riffs
We Looked In the DIY Section, But Bob Vila Didn't Have A Handbook On It ...
Top Ten Cloves: Problems Created With President Bush Admitting To CIA Black Site Prisons
Paid News Scandal Widens; CIA Said To Run Network Of "Blue Hole" Newspapers; Detainees Forced To Work As Copy Editors Or Write Stories In Isolation; Old Typewriters With No Wite-Out Used
Breaking News! Leak of CIA Covert Prison System May Affect IPO, Franchising Rights; Early Heavy Investment Cools In Wake of Story; North Korea May Trade Nuke Program For Multiple Prisons
Saturday, February 09, 2008
An Enigma, Wrapped Inside of A Riddle ... The Tesseract Archipelago...
This Date ... On The Garlic
Garlic History - On This Day
9 February, 2006... On The Garlic
Cheney, Rice Comments Signal PNAC Back On Track; "Hamas Was A Hiccup"; Steered Danish Cartoon Hubris To Capture February Sweeps For Max Exposure
Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At The Grammys Last Night
9 February 2005... On The Garlic
I'll Have Some Wheat Toast With That iPod
Top Ten Things about Yassir Arafat's Investments
Friday, February 08, 2008
The Shakedown, Roasting and Burning-At-The-Stake of David Shuster
"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
French Guard from Monty Python's "Holy Grail"
There's insults, and then there's INSULTS!
MSNBC's David Shuster's "pimp" line was not an insult.
A conflagration has erupted in the media, the blogosphere, the Clinton Campaign over a comment made Thursday evening, by MSNBC's David Shuster, during his duty, hosting the "Tucker" program.
One saving grace for MSNBC was this occurred on the "Tucker" show, at the 6PM time slot, so damage was limited, based on the number of viewers who normally tune into the "Tucker" program
But back to the comment, and the hysterics going on over it.
Was it a bad choice of words, a bad phrase - Yes.
Was David Shuster, at least on this occasion, not of quick wit, not sharp on his feet, in coming up with a pithy comment to make his point - Yes.
Was David Shuster's "pimp" comment taken out of context - Yes.
Here's the entire segment, from the MSNBC transcript;
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)SHUSTER: For most of the Bill Clinton presidency, then teenager Chelsea Clinton remained out of political life. Political opponents like Mike Huckabee have credited the Clintons for raising such a poised and self-possessed young woman. Now just shy of her 28th birthday, Chelsea is out and about on her mom‘s behalf, campaigning in Nebraska as Saturday‘s caucuses approach.
(NEWS BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP
JOY BEHAR, “THE VIEW”: The phone rings and who is it? “Hi, this is Chelsea Clinton.” I said, really? Then I get a call from you five minutes later.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Ring, ring. Hello.
BEHAR: Hi, this is Chelsea Clinton.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Like hi, this is Chelsea Clinton. What you doing now? She‘s like, you know, well, I‘m really proud of my mom. I‘m like, talk up. I can‘t hear you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
What is the Chelsea factor? Here again are nationally syndicated radio talk show host Bill Press and online columnist Bob Franken. Bill, there‘s just something a little bit unseemly to me that Chelsea is out there calling up celebrities saying, support my mom, and apparently she‘s also calling these Super Delegates.
PRESS: Hey, she‘s working for her mom. What‘s unseemly about that? During the last campaign, the Bush twins were out working for their dad. I think it‘s great. I think she‘s grown up in a political family. She‘s got politics in her blood. She loves her mom. She thinks she would make a great president.
SHUSTER: Doesn‘t it seem like Chelsea is being pimped out in some weird sort of way?
PRESS: No. If she didn‘t want to be there, she wouldn‘t be there. Give Chelsea a break. I think it‘s great. Again, Michelle Obama is out there for her husband. What‘s the big deal?
SHUSTER: Here is the big deal. I will give Chelsea Clinton a break when she sits down and gives an interview to somebody like Bob Franken. If she wants to do all this stuff, she should face the questions.
PRESS: Oh, yes, did Oprah give an interview to Bob Franken? Did Caroline Kennedy give an interview to Bob Franken? Come on?
SHUSTER: Let‘s ask Bob Franken.
FRANKEN: No, and I‘m feeling very left out here. To be very honest with you, I would think it would be much more remarkable if Chelsea Clinton came out for Barack Obama. Of course she would be out there campaigning for her parents. They seem to have a nice relationship. And why not? Of course, what is really at the base of all this is the discussion about Obama and his young support. He is leading what we can cynically call a children‘s army with his message of change and a generational change and all that, not bad for a guy who is almost 50 years old.
But apparently the strategy is that she can go out there and neutralize it. More power to her.
SHUSTER: I say more power to her. But I also think that the collective Washington media, which has respectively these sort of unwritten rules of staying away from Chelsea, not asking her questions, that is now out the window. It‘s now fair game, that when you and I, Bob and Bill, when we see Chelsea out there at these campaign events, there‘s nothing wrong with going up to her with a microphone and saying, OK, which Super Delegates did you call.
FRANKEN: One teensy weensy problem, she has Secret Service protection. So it gets a little bit dicey.
SHUSTER: The logistics are complicated.
Now, I may be one of the only ones that sees this, but, it appears to me that Shuster was attempting to clip the Clinton's on a real, or alleged, double-standard.
That Chelsea Clinton can engage in campaigning for her famous mother, but she's off-limits to the press.
Now, maybe that is a hard rule of the Clinton's.
Maybe Mama and Papa Bear Clinton don't have any problem with it, and it's been Chelsea that has blown off the Press.
As you can see in the transcript, yes Shuster used the phrase "Doesn‘t it seem like Chelsea is being pimped out in some weird sort of way?", yet, he doesn't follow up on that line-of-thought, he doesn't call Chelsea, or her mother, a whore, or anything like that and, he eventually gets down to his point, the one I believe he was attempting to highlight, of the media blackout around Chelsea Clinton.
I believe we have evolved in our speech patterns, our communications, the common lexicon, that using the word "pimping" to describe someone's activities, doesn't automatically infer, or have meaning, that it is about an abusive male, with a blindingly, over-adorned automobile, wearing clothes that even a pro golfer wouldn't hang in his closet, forcing woman to perform sexual acts and taking the money for those acts for himself.
I, in most cases, take it in as describing someone shilling for, or selling, a product, or person, when their position, or station in life, suggests they shouldn't be doing said "pimping", or, perhaps, they are unqualified, and it is laughable, that they would be out there "pimping" for said product or person.
Which is, I believe, the point Shuster was attempting to convey.
Actually, Jane Hamsher, over on Firedoglake is somewhat on the same page;
"And on that awkward segue, I'll bring up the latest contretemps -- comments made by David Shuster to the effect that Chelsea Clinton was being "pimped out" by the campaign. It may surprise everyone but I actually wasn't bothered by them. The phrase is ubiquitous, I use it all the time and although it is a loaded term my initial impression was that in the wake of all the truly awful sexist stuff that's come down the pipeline from MSNBC over the course of this campaign, much of which I have personally railed about, this just didn't fall into that category."
For my money, Shuster's work is, typically, sharp, dead-on and he digs in to ask the hard questions.
More importantly, as professional and thorough Shuster's reporting is, it's always about the story, the subject, and not about himself.
On this occasion, he attempted to be pithy, and he failed.
And for this one-time, grievous offense, he gets lumped into the Tweety Matthews/Joe Scarborough mug shot.
For not being pithy, MSNBC has suspended him.
For not being pithy, the blogosphere is roasting him, burning him at the stake.
For not being pithy, the Clinton Campaign is blowing this up, surely to drain out of it, exploit it, for some level of gain out in the campaign.
Actually, check out Attytood, and see what the worst thing that has been said about Chelsea Clinton, and who said it (Hint - He's a Republican, and he's a presumptive presidential nominee).
This, hopefully, will blow over, and, hopefully, the MSNBC brass will come to their senses, recognize just what it is, and not flog Shuster for the sins of others (and I don't plan on staying up all night, to detail all of the sexist comments and bullshit that does come from a number of MSNBC's Talking Heads)
Hopefully, David Shuster will be back on the air, banging away at the dwarf, finks, phonies and frauds (i.e. The Bush Grindhouse and their henchmen), banging away as he does so well.
The Rundown
Digby: Here We Go Again
Melissa/Shakespeare's Sister: What New Dissed Hill Is This?
The Carpetbagger Report: Clinton campaign takes on MSNBC over ‘pimped out’ comment
Pam's House Blend: An election cycle that breaks all the rules - and the establishment is in knots
Howard Kurtz: MSNBC's Shuster to Offer On-Air Apology to Clinton
Associated Press: MSNBC's Chelsea comment angers Clinton
Top Ten Cloves: Ways Hillary Clinton Can Raise More Money
News Item: Clinton Loaned Her Campaign $5 Million
10. Offer to stand-in, and take the booing for John McCain
9. Be like pro athletes - start charging for her autograph
8. Make herself available to shoot a few Wal-Mart commercials
7. Hey, the Clinton Presidential Library and Museum doesn't have a "First Lady wing" ... Time to hit up the donors, again ...
6. With her crying jags, product placement from Kleenex
5. Lean on Terry McAuliffe, to come up with some more shady land or stock deals
4. Next debate, more logos on her dress than anything at NASCAR
3. Since she did the more live, town hall meeting on the Hallmark Channel, put out a Hallmark audio greeting card of her laugh
2. Have her, and ex-President husband, don those gigantic, oversized, rubber Sumo Wrestler suits and go at it on Pay-Per-View
1. Wait a minute! ... I have a website ... I can do a Hillarython!
Good Read ... The Lemming Pledge
Here's a quick, little cup of coffee for you ...
The Lemming Pledge ... It's interesting (Way to go there, Disney!) and most amusing ...
Check out The Lemming Pledge
(H/T Barry Crimmins)
This Date ... On The Garlic
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Mukasey Plays The Card ... So, Pelosi, We Need That Table - Now!
Well, the new Crony General might as well had a brass band playing behind him.
Crony General Michael Mukasey, and this was real big of him, let the House Judiciary Committee know today that - Surprise, Surprise - he has no intentions of opening criminal investigations on the Bush Grindhouse, for their admitted torture of detainees or their illegal wiretapping.
The reason?
The Department of Injustice signed off on the practices as LEGAL!
That being the previous Crony General, and the handpicked henchman, the Bush Grindhouse stocked it with.
Duh!
Didn't Woody Allen do a film like this? ... The Marx Brothers?
From David Kurtz, over on TalkingPointsMemo;"It is as brazen a defense of the unitary executive as anything put forward by the Administration in the last seven years, and it comes from an attorney general who was supposed to be not just a more professional, but a more moderate, version of Alberto Gonzales (Thanks to Democrats like Dianne Feinstein and Chuck Schumer for caving on the Mukasey nomination.).
President Bush has now laid down his most aggressive challenge to the very constitutional authority of Congress. It is a naked assertion of executive power. The founders would have called it tyrannical. His cards are now all on the table. This is no bluff."
Steve Benen, from The Carpetbagger Report, notes in his Mukasey to honor the ‘get out of jail free’ card the administration gave itself "I’m fairly certain impeachment was developed for situations like these."
Hear that Harry Reid?
Hear that Nancy Pelosi?
Think you can, Nancy, dig up that table you so callously tossed aside, to put an end to this madness?
If not, it's still out there for anyone that wants to save this country, The Garlic laid it out last July, and it's still a good deal;Happy 4th of July ... Okay, It May Be Down To This .... Citizen's Arrest!
Help Me Mr. Wizard!
More Mukasey Treason
dday from Hullabaloo: If The President Does It, Then It's Not Illegal
emptywheel: Mukasey Refuses to Say Whether He Was Instructed Not to Enforce Subpoenas
Justice Dept. 'Cannot' Probe Waterboarding, Mukasey Says
Hmmm ... Did Mukasey get the thick, bulging envelope up-front, or does he get it on the way out, after the job is complete?
Maybe He'll Run As An Independent Super-delegate?
Or: Karma Pays A Visit To Joe Lieberman
The Garlic espied this juicy morsel late last evening;
Lieberman No Longer a Super Delegate"Thanks to Zell Miller, there is a rule to deal with Joe Lieberman.
Lieberman's endorsement of Republican John McCain disqualifies him as a super-delegate to the Democratic National Convention under what is informally known as the Zell Miller rule, according to Democratic State Chairwoman Nancy DiNardo.
Miller, then a Democratic senator from Georgia, not only endorsed Republican George Bush four years ago, but he delivered a vitriolic attack on Democrat John Kerry at the Republican National Convention.
The Democrats responded with a rule disqualifying any Democrat who crosses the aisle from being a super delegate. Lieberman will not be replaced, DiNardo said."
And we join Jane Hamsher, from Firedoglake, who offered "And for those who said they'd never lift their glass in a toast to Zell Miller...cheers!"
Bonus Lieberman Riffs
Breaking News! Lieberman Pledges To Support “Whichever Party Elects Me”; Post-Debate Bombshell - Lieberman Announces Plan C – Will Run In All 50 States; Hires Nader For ‘Underdog” Experience; Pledges To Support “Whichever Party Elects Me”
Pluto Planning Run With Independent Solar System; Takes Cues From Lieberman, Who Says May Caucus With New Galaxy
What Are They Using, Carrier Pigeons?
Gotta hand it to The Washington Post ... They really now how to deliver those hot, breaking news stories ...
The Garlic received these two email alerts last evening
Sent: Wed 2/6/2008 9:46 PM
Clinton Wins Massachusetts
Sent: Thu 2/7/2008 1:44 AM
Romney Wins Utah
Now, if memory serves me correct, these two breaking news stories occurred on Tuesday evening, no?
C'mon WaPo, you're really pissing me off ... I'm still waiting to find out who won the Super Bowl!
This Date ... On The Garlic
With the growing (bursting out of the seams!) Feed Readers The Garlic has added, we've decided to post as a post, and not just in the Sidebar, our "Garlic History - On This Day" (Okay, it kind came as a head-slap ,,, Like, why haven't we been doing this all along ... Well, we might be slow, but, we eventually get it) ...
Perhaps, there may be some other additional items, we'll have to see how it goes
Enjoy!
Garlic History - On This Day
7 February 2007... On The Garlic
Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song
7 February 2006... On The Garlic
Nagin Takes Back Apology; Sets Sights On Building Imported Chocolate City
Senate Republicans, GOP In Discord Over Bush's Possible Illegal Wiretaps
Top Ten Cloves: Reasons GOP Senators Wouldn't Put A.G. Gonzales Under Oath At Hearings
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Retro Garlic: "Tell Me Reverend, How Much Is It For A Massage and Redemption?"
Our favorite pill-popping, massage-loving Reverend is back in the news today.
Tim Haggard, last, of the Dobson Gang, and escort Mike Jones' most (at least publicly out there) famous client, is leaving the New Life Church.
And it sounds like he is being booting out, possibly falling off the heterosexuality wagon again.
From the Colorado Confidential;"In January 2007, Ted Haggard voluntarily agreed to enter a process of spiritual restoration. He has selected Phoenix First Assembly and Pastor Tommy Barnett as his local church fellowship and is maintaining an accountability relationship there. He has recently requested to end his official relationship with the New Life Church Restoration Team and this has been accepted by them.
Hmmmm ....That last sentence, how Cheneyesque of them ...
New Life Church recognizes the process of restoring Ted Haggard is incomplete and maintains its original stance that he should not return to vocational ministry. However, we wish him and his family only success in the future.
Because spiritual restoration is a necessarily confidential process, the church does not anticipate that it, or its Overseers or Restorers, will make further comment about it."
Pam, over on Pam's House Blend, in her "Haggard quits pray-away-the-gay program" (definitely in the running for a "Headline-of-the-day" award) speculates we may never know;"What, if anything do you think Ted Haggard will say publicly about his experience? Certainly if the evangelical former pastor has not truly reclaimed his heterosexuality after the very strict re-programming, it would be a serious blow to the ex-gay industry if he were to come forward and say that he now realizes that his same-sex desires are neither evil or wrong and that these cures have nothing to do with getting right with God."
Though, a commenter to Pam's post may have hit the bullseye, so to speak; "Ted Haggard was paid his salary for a year only if he was in this restoration program. Once the pay ran out he quit. No surprise there. He probably recognizes the program for the BS that it is."
Oh, the Retro part ...
The Garlic had two scoops on the Reverend with the special touch ...
Top Ten Cloves: Ways James Dobson Will Cure Ted Haggard And Offer "Spiritual Restoration"
Top Ten Cloves: Ways Reverend Ralph Verified Tim Haggard Was "Completely Heterosexual"
The Blizzard of '78 ... 30th Anniversary
Today, thirty-years-ago, was a very special, totally unique event.
The great Blizzard of 1978.
Anyone of a certain age (say born by 1972) from Boston, New England or the Northeast in general, no doubt, remembers it vividly.
In a little over 24-hours, Boston got 27-inches of snow dumped on it, in a classic, wind-howling blizzard, that, was of such power and force, it shut down the city for a week.
It gets lost in the legend, that we already had a good deal of snow on the ground, including a pretty good storm that gave us a foot-plus about a week before the The Blizzard of '78.
This writer spent the night of the blizzard over a friend's apartment, playing cards, drinking and smoking, stumbling home around 5AM, walking the few blocks through the punishing winds and blistering snow
Once all the snow and wind ended, it was pretty amazing - no sound.
No cars or trucks, the city was absolutely quiet.
I can remember, a few days later, when they finally started clearing the snow (at least from the main streets), seeing big payloaders dig into a massive mounds of snow on Cambridge Street, in East Cambridge, and dumping it in equally-large dump trucks - and seeing a small, green MG come tumbling out (and I knew the guy, on 7th street, that owned the car).
In those days, I worked part-time at the legendary Brattle Theatre, in Harvard Square, and it was party atmosphere.
With no cars on the road, the Square was buzzing with throngs of people, hanging out, some traveling via cross-country skis, and everyone just groovin' on the newly-imposed quiet. Everyone was getting used to having no cars around, and liking it very much.
It was heavy in the spirit of we were all going through something, big, something special.
And everybody was just groovin' on it.
Bonus Blizzard of '78 Links
The Blizzard of '78 Gallery
Blizzard Of '78 Anniversary
Blizzard of '78 Photos
Comedy Alert - The Optimistic Curmudgeon's Last Thoughts on 2007 Comedy Albums ...
"It’s difficult to make a really good comedy album, one you’ll want to listen to more than once. That’s why a lot of them get assigned to novelty hell."
Nick Zaino, over on The Optimistic Curmudgeon, is offering another look at last years' comedy albums released, following up on a column he wrote in The Boston Globe.
If you want to get away from Super Tuesdays', delegate counts or the flood of new Britney Spears news, this is a good read.
Check out "OC Review: A Few Last Thoughts on the Best Comedy Albums of 2007"
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Which Candidate Will Be Singing This Song? ... And Give A 'Shout Out' To Colin Powell
Maybe, we should launch a class-action law suit, perhaps a massive "Bait-and-Switch" charge.
After all, with the states, one-by-one, clawing and climbing over each other, to place their states' primary on the front end of the schedule, so "their citizens" can have a voice, for their vote to count.
Well, bust-my-buttons, it hasn't quite worked out that way, has it.
After all the votes from today are counted, it is all-but-certain, neither party will have a confirmed nominee, via the delegate count.
And just think, if this was just regular, old Super Tuesday, as opposed to it being Super-Duper Tuesday, we all may have had time to celebrate Colin Powell's 5th anniversary, of his legendary appearance at the United Nations, selling the war, that, up until a week, or so, ago, was the focal point of this primary season.
A Tiny Revolution has a great post up - Lie After Lie: What Exactly Colin Powell Knew Five Years Ago Today, And What He Told The World - that you should check out (and go to Days of Shame for a Powellpalooza of links).
But we digress.
No doubt, as the results roll in this evening, they are oiling, buffing and firing up the Spin Machines and, despite their best efforts, there will be some long faces (check out Barry Crimmins for a priceless photo of Mike Huckabee), some disappointed hopes.
And for those candidates, we have a song.
Put on your Mamas And The Papas' caps and sing along ...Super Tuesday
Super Tuesday, was it good to me,
Super Tuesday, was it all I hoped it would be
Oh Super Tuesday, Tuesday morning couldn't guarantee
That Super Tuesday evening you would still vote for me.
Super Tuesday, can't trust that day,
Super Tuesday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Super Tuesday, you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh Super Tuesday, how could you not give the votes to me.
Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Super Tuesday comes, but whenever Super Tuesday comes
You can find me cryin' all of the time
Super Tuesday, was it so good for me,
Super Tuesday, was it all I hoped it would be
Oh Super Tuesday , Tuesday morning couldn't guarantee
That Super Tuesday evening you would still still vote for me
Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Super Tuesday comes, but whenever Super Tuesday comes
You can find me cryin' all of the time
Super Tuesday, ...
Bonus Video
Here's a good one, from Monterey Pop, circa 1967
Re: The Mamas & The Papas - Monday Monday
Monday, February 04, 2008
He's A Senator - And A Dessert Topping!
Well, Well, Well ...
He's a Senator and a dessert topping
...
Word today is that Presidential hopeful, Senator John McCain broke out with a campaign vaudeville act, cracking jokes at a campaign event here in Boston, which, unfortunately (for the audience) there was no hook to pull him off stage.
From Steve Benen, at The Carpetbagger Report;"I thought of these this morning after watching a clip ThinkProgress posted from a McCain campaign event in Boston. The senator, apparently doing a stand-up routine, didn’t get too much laughter with this material:
To which Benen then ponders "I’m trying to imagine what the reaction would be if Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama, campaigning in “liberal Massachusetts,” mocked people with Southern accents and suggested his audience might need interpreters to understand those from South Carolina."
“If anyone has any doubts about my age, please spend some time with my mother. I want to tell you that last Christmas, she decided she wanted to drive around France, so she landed in Paris, went to rent a car, they said she was too old, so she bought a car and drove around France. And she’ll be 96 in just a few days. […]
“So, I’m compelled to tell the story of the two inmates in the state prison in the chow line. And one of them turned to the other one and said, ‘The food was a lot better in here when you were governor.’ (polite chuckles) That’s not a joke you can tell in some states in America. […]
“[After introducing former Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas], and from the great state of South Carolina, Sen. Lindsey Graham. After this meeting, if you’d like to talk to senator, either senator Graham, we will provide translators for any of you that need to, find them hard to understand. I find them hard to — anyway….
“Do you know the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a scum-sucking bottom-dweller and the other is a fish. And so there goes the lawyer joke, the lawyer vote again. I thank all of you for being here.”
Well, I have both written for comics, as well has having a brief period of time doing stand-up, so, let's give "Here's Johnny Boy" some new material to work with.
Many a comic, especially starting out, may choose to aim the humor at themselves, put themselves inside the jokes, you know, self-depreciating humor.
So, run with these "Here's Johnny Boy", I think you're audience will love'em ...What's the difference between a real banker and Charles Keating?
The banker takes your money and gives you a receipt ... Keating gives you money and doesn't want a receiptHow many Charles Keatings' does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None - He'd rather do his fraud business in the dark
And since Here's Johnny Boy likes to sing little, humorous ditties, let's give him a new one, inspired from the Jazz Classic, Dave Brubeck's "Take Five" (we must, after all, keep in theme and commemorate The Keating Five)
And, yes, the song did have lyrics ...Though I'm going out of my way
Stick to jumping sharks, Here's Johnny Boy, at least, until the Writer's Strike is settled and you can hire some pro's ...
Just so I can pass the CYA Law of the day
Not a single word do we say
It's meant to cover-up Keating's pay-and-play
Take my campaign ... Please!
Bonus Here's Johnny Boy McCain Riffs
Barry Crimmins: Rhymes with 'disdain'
Johann Hari: Don't be fooled by the myth of John McCain
Bonus Soundtrack
Dave Brubeck - Take Five
Top Ten Cloves: Good Things About Losing The Super Bowl and Ending Up 18-1
News Item: 'Free fallin' out into nothing'
10. Telling people who know nothing about football, or the NFL, that you went 18-1 will impress them
9. You can go golfing, rather than wasting your time taking part of the downtown parade that was being planned
8. You get to beat up on the media, saying how, just like in the primaries, they all got it wrong
7. You give your fans a real good reason to, now, extremely dislike both Manning brothers
6. Don't have to worry about if the bigger, winning pay check will alter your tax status
5. Better chance of getting sympathy hugs from Tom Brady's supermodel girlfriends' supermodel friends
4. Don't have to spend your off-season, bogged down, sorting through endorsement offers
3. Well, losing the Super Bowl rules out, pretty much, that Bill Belichick spied on the Giants
2. The value of the ticket stubs of your family members attending the game will fetch huge dollars now, on eBay
1. It's football, so you're post-game explanation of the collapse doesn't have to deal with questions of why Bill Buckner was in the game in the 10th inning, instead of being replaced for defensive purposes
Bonus 18-1 Riffs
Boston Globe: Complete Patriots, Super Bowl XLII coverage
Jackie MacMullan: In the end, it was all for naught
Mike Reiss: The pressure no doubt got to them
Christopher L. Gasper: 18 and done - Patriots' bid for perfect season has one fatal flaw as Giants pull upset
Sunday, February 03, 2008
18 - 1
This is to follow-up my post, from the end of December, when the NFL season ended and the New England Patriots went 16-0.
In it, I noted a nearly lifetime of disappointments associated with the Patriot franchise and how unbelievable it was to see their current success.
Tonight, for millions here in New England, and elsewhere, the perfect season dream ended, with a blistering, thrashing, Joe-Frazier-in-Manila, beating.
The New York Football Giants tattooed the Patriots, in case you haven't heard by now, 17-14, in Super Bowl 42.
And, while it was a thrilling game, right down to the final minute (not a common occurrence in the Super Bowl), the score is a bit deceiving.
The Giants kicked the Patriots asses, in the trenches, on the line, standing them up and knocking them down.
Again and again ... Over and over ...
Tom Brady is going to seriously sore tomorrow ... It almost seemed, for a good chunk of the game, that it was mandatory they bat-and-beat Brady around.
While Manning, the 3rd, will win a great deal of attention (he was named MVP of the game, giving the history books a new entry, for back-to-back Super Bowl MVP brothers, as Peyton won it last year), for driving the Giants down, with less-than 3:00 left in the game, for the winning touchdown, make no mistake about who won this game.
The Giants defense.
They totally disrupted Brady & Co., making them, quite uncharacteristically, pedestrian for most of the game.
The Patriots were outcoached as well, also something uncharacteristic.
This was one-for-the-ages, perhaps equal to, if not surpassing Namath, and Super Bowl III.
Congrats to all you New York Football Giants fans out there ... It was a great game and, as it should be, on the field, the better team won this evening.
Giants Win Super Bowl
Giants Beat Patriots 17-14
New York Giants win Super Bowl
Say "Happy Anninversary" To The Garlic, and, also, Happy Blogroll Amnesty Day!
Phew! ...
Three-years, and over 1,500 posts ...
On one hand, if you asked me 3.5-years ago, that I would sit, toiling away nearly everyday, attempting (admittedly, some days are better than others) to be creative, to be entertaining and then posting whatever I produced on-line, out into the World Wide Web, I would likely have said " Get outta here! ...
And yet, on the other hand ...Only 1,500+ posts ... What a feeble effort ... Time to move the computer down into the kitchen ... Master some voice-recognition software and just write and blog non-stop ...
It's been a gas! ...
While I have had certain challenges, particularly this past year, it still manages to get done ... Sparks ignite and, even through some rough periods, The Garlic plods along ...
An enormous, gigantic THANK YOU!, to all the readers, to all the other bloggers who have linked, or plugged The Garlic or, otherwise, gave valuable advice and assistance...
We well endeavor to carry on ... To keep The Garlic: All The Cloves Fit To Peel growing and, hopefully, entertaining ... 
And the anniversary this year happily collides with Blogroll Amnesty Day.
It seems, as the story goes, some of the liberal Big Dog "A List" bloggers began dissing the smaller liberal "Little Guy B-List" bloggers, booting them off their Link Lists and creating a echo chamber of just the Big Dogs.
Jon Swift wrote about it here
Skippy The Kangaroo picks up the banner (quite literally - thanks Skip!)
Carl, and Michael Stickings have some posts up over on The Reaction on it.
And Shaun Mullen, over on Kikos House posts on it as well
The Garlic, I believe, can say that sharing has been at our heart since the beginning.
While our Link List is modest (at least, in relation to a good many other blogs), without counting, I would hazard to say it is populated by more "B List" people than the Big Dogs.
While they have trickled down to a handful-per-month, The Garlic used to be flooded with the requests to exchange links, often, those queries looked boilerplate, the sender, doubtful to have actually read The Garlic before making said request (and, when I did go out to their sites, to see what they were about ...Well, they were more about links, than content).
The Garlic chose not to play that game, to become a link whore, solely to push up the ratings on the bevy of measurement sites.
The Garlic's Link List is comprised of sites that The Garlic likes ... That The Garlic reads and, hopefully, our readers will find similar interest in them.
More importantly, we believe, once we learned how to tag (link) in our posts, it was pedal-to-the-metal ...
Regular readers know that The Garlic liberally tags in its' posts, and, yes, at times to Big Dogs and MSM, but just as often, if not more so, to "the little guys" ... People with great posts, tremendous viewpoints, or just flat out entertaining ...
So, as we hurtle into Year 4, there'll be no change in that ... Or, the change will be to increase the sharing, the highlighting of others out here in the blogosphere, on the World Wide Web ...
The Garlic encourages you to click on those links embedded in the posts, or take a scroll down the right sidebar and visit those on the Link Lists ... Think of it as a "high tech Sunday drive", like when we were kids, packed into the station wagon to go off somewhere we had no idea about ...
And, when you do that, and you find that you enjoy it, bookmark, make regular visits, add them (and The Garlic) to your RSS feed list
Once again, Thank You, for visiting and reading The Garlic!
Let's Make It Easy For You
Save this post, as we have replicated The Garlic's Link Lists for you ... Spend some time today, and during the week of exploring the sites and finding others that you like, that thrill you, entertain you and otherwise enlighten you.
Links
Barry Crimmins
JazzReview.Com
TenTen Graphic Design
A VC - Fred Wilson
Nick Zanio - The Optimistic Curmudgeon
The Savvy Girls of Summer
Links
Steven Wright
Lenny Bruce
Dennis Perrin - A Red State Son
Martin Lewis
Emily Singer
Jim Sullivan
Links
The Huffington Post
Eat The Press
Huff It
Firedoglake
Common Dreams
Citizen Hunter - Flavia Colgen
Links
Think Progress
The Reaction
The Raw Story
The Nation
The Moderate Voice
Memeorandum
Links
Dan Kennedy's Media Nation
Crooks and Liars
Truthdig
Democracy Now
James Wolcott
Links
Citizen Orange
Salon's Blog Report
Hullabaloo
The Carpetbagger Report
The Populist Blog
Rasmussen Reports
Links
Keith Olbermann
The News Hole - The Blog of Countdown
Copeland Institute for Lower Learning
Seeing The Forest
Tom Dispatch
Links
Assimilated Press
Doonesbury
Donna Barstow Cartoons
Ted Rall
Paul Szep
Links
The Largest Minority
A Tiny Revolution
Anonymous Liberal
Balkinization
Shaun Mullen - Kiko's House
I Am TRex
Links
Immigration Orange
Larisa Alexandrovna's at-largely
Talking Points Memo
The (liberal)Girl Next Door
State of the Day
Links
Larry Johnson's No Quarter
Iraq For Sale: The War Profiteers
The Joseph and Valerie Wilson Legal Support Trust
Online Integrity
HOTSOUP
Links
Chasing Ghosts
Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America
Appeal For Redress
National Priorities Project - The Cost of War
Thank You Lt. Watada
Links
Glenn Greenwald's Unclaimed Territory
After Downing Street
Let's Try Democracy - Writings by David Swanson
The Smirking Chimp
Links
The Peace Abbey
Stop Global Warming
Baghdad Burning
politicsTV
Just Foreign Policy
Stop Iran War
Links
Air America Radio
ABC's Brian Ross
The Sleuth - Mary Ann Akers ...Behind the Scenes in Washington
The Caucus Blog
Crawford List - An independent, nonpartisan blog on media & politics
Links
Current TV
Charlie Rose Show
Bill Moyers Journal
CNN Situation Room
C-SPAN
Links
Salon
Good Morning Silicon Valley
San Jose Mercury News
The Washington Post
Editor and Publisher
Los Angeles Times
Chicago Tribune
The Hill
Congressional Quarterly
(If anyone wants to replicate these Link Lists, contact me and I will be happy to send them to you, coded and ready to paste)
