Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Ways NHL Plans On Handling Gambling Scandal

10. Actually not gambling, Was new, covert marketing plan by NHL to get fans back and interest in the game

9. Recommending to authorities that all involved get 10:00 Major Penalties and suspended for 5 games

8. In the spirit of the late Johnnie Cochran, if the puck don't slide, you must push charges aside

7. Will release any photos of President Bush with Gretzky's wife, Janet Jones, and/or Assistant Coach Rick Tocchet

6. To save his wife, Gretzky will let media call retiring Mario Lemieux "The Great One"

5. Bringing in Michael Jordan and David Stern as advisors on what to do

4. Asking that no editorial cartoons be drawn, to ward off any rioting at the leagues arenas

3. Since the fans love it, can settle this with a Shoot-Out

2. Might have to just let it go; As President Bush said, hindsight is not wisdom and second-guessing is not a stragegy

1. One thing, for sure, will let Senator John McCain write all correspondence related to matter


Anonymous said...

timely announcement of scandal so that Gretzky won't be in top shape to win another gold for Canada. Americans hoping for another "miracle"?

Anonymous said...

The NHL has hired the former federal prosecutor who headed the Unabomber case to investigate Rick Tocchet, the Phoenix Coyotes assistant coach ...