The Garlic: 07/12/2009

Saturday, July 18, 2009

No. 3,000

Boy, they just seem to be flying by now ...

It was roughly a year ago, that The Garlic celebrated its' 2,000th post (taking a bit over three-years to achieve), and our post this morning, This Date ... On The Garlic" (which has one of our more popular post; "Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Next Door Neighbor May Be Conducting Illegal Dogfights ) turns out to be No. 3,000.

Yikes!

Arguably, not as cool as making Baseball's 3,000 Hits Club, but, hey, I played mostly stickball as a kid, and only one year of organized baseball (in which, for some inexplicable reason, I got beaned a lot)

I guess, having a presidential campaign, and election, helped build those numbers up, thanks to Mommy Moose, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, with their Dead Campaign Express, and, of course, "The Most Fabulous Object In The World", aka Hillary Clinton, I suppose, I could be open for criticism of under-achieving

A thousand posts in just over a year ...

Hmmm ... If I do about five, or six, post, per-day, I might be able to rack up another thousand before years' end ...

We'll have to wait and see on that ...

Meanwhile, let's toss out some tips-of-the-cap to Barry Crimmins, Michael Stickings, Sean Collins, and a boatload of others, who have assisted, tagged, linked, promoted, pushed, or otherwise helped me along the way.

And, to our subscribers, and readers, of The Garlic ...

MUCHO THANKS!

This Date ... On The Garlic

18 July 2008... On The Garlic

Hmmm ... Will The Bush Pioneers Be Raising Money For This, Too?

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Tomatoes Are Safe Again

Editor's Note: I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Ice Cream ...

18 July 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Next Door Neighbor May Be Conducting Illegal Dogfights

Of Legacy Maintenance - And Corrections! ... David Corn's "REBUTTAL - Why Bush Is A Loser"

18 July 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things About President Bush’s First Veto

18 July 2005... On The Garlic

Goldberg Book Gets Heat From Govt, Conservatives; Publishers Considers Changes In Face of Pressure; Calls Come For New Slant To Push Abstinence

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Next Door Neighbor May Be Involved In The CIA Leak Case

Friday, July 17, 2009

And That's The Way He Was ... Walter Cronkite Passes Away

You knew he was getting on in years, you saw reports of some illness, yet, it was still a gut punch to hear the news that legendary CBS News Anchor Walter Cronkite has passed away today, at the age of 92.

Walter Cronkite, Iconic Anchorman, Dies

Mr. Cronkite anchored the “CBS Evening News” from 1962 to 1981, at a time when television became the dominant medium of the United States. He figuratively held the hand of the American public during the civil rights movement, the space race, the Vietnam war, and the impeachment of Richard Nixon. During his tenure, network newscasts were expanded to 30 minutes from 15.

“It is impossible to imagine CBS News, journalism or indeed America without Walter Cronkite,” Sean McManus, the president of CBS News, said in a statement. “More than just the best and most trusted anchor in history, he guided America through our crises, tragedies and also our victories and greatest moments.”

It's hard to describe what he meant, how enormous he was.

Even as a young child, I was a news junkie, and grew up watching Walter Cronkite, night-after-night, for nearly 20-years.

It's like arguing about ballplayers, of different generations.

You had to be there, live it, feel it, have be part of your life, to fully understand, and appreciate, the impact this one man had on this country.

For so many, millions, he delivered the news, of President John F. Kennedy's assassination;

Walter Cronkite announces death of JFK

As much as you could say Cronkite worked for "The Man", as part of the establishment, you knew that he was the "real deal", that he would give it to you straight, his ending nightly signature "And that's the way it is ... " but one indication of this.

Perhaps covering wars, both World War II (he, as a young reporter, covered the Normandy Invasion), and later, Vietnam, finely tuned his "bullshit" meter.

It has been said, that Walter Cronkite's dissing the Vietnam War was the reason, a major factor, in President Lyndon Johnson not seeking reelection.

As the TET offensive continued into February, the anchorman for the CBS evening news, Walter Cronkite, traveled to Vietnam and filed several reports. Upon his return, Cronkite took an unprecedented step of presenting his "editorial opinion" at the end of the news broadcast on February 27th. "For it seems now more certain than ever," Cronkite said, "that the bloody experience of Vietnam is to end in a stalemate." After watching Cronkite's broadcast, LBJ was quoted as saying. "That's it. If I've lost Cronkite, I've lost middle America."

Walter Cronkite, 1968

Walter Cronkite Remembers His Tet Offensive Editorial

Think any of the lightweights since Cronkite carried that kind of cred?

Brad Friedman, over on his Brad Blog, talks of a chance meeting with Cronkite, at FAO Schwarz toy store in New York City, in the late 1980's (after Cronkite had retired from CBS) and notes;

Not a particularly insightful story, other than for me, at that time in my life, I felt as if I had been in the presence of greatness. It was certainly the highlight of my holidays that year. He will be missed. So will the once-great American news corp which he left, and which left all of us, too long ago.

Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo echoes Brad's lament;

he will be missed. hell, he was missed when he retired in the 80's. now we've got david schuster and chris wallace as elder statesman in the news? god help us.

I don't think I am the only person, that wishes Walter Cronkite would be broadcasting the news forever ...

An incredible, gigantic giant has left us this evening.

God Bless you, Walter Cronkite ... Thank you for sharing your life with us ...

More Links

The Daily Beast: Walter Cronkite 1916 - 2009

Mike Madden, at Salon: Walter Cronkite dies

Ron Chusid: And That’s The Way It Was, November 4, 1916 – July 17, 2009

NYT: Walter Cronkite, Voice of TV News, Dies

CBS to Show Tribute to Cronkite Sunday Night

Memorable Reports by Walter Cronkite

More Walter Cronkite Video

CBS evening news with Walter Cronkite 4-4-68

Walter Cronkite And The Lunar Landing (CBS News)

Walter Cronkite - On his "that's the way it is" signoff

A Conversation with Walter Cronkite

This Date ... On The Garlic

17 July 2007... On The Garlic

Retro Garlic: I'm Surprised It Wasn't Headlined As "Mormon Candidate Ties To Cosmetic Industry Exposed"

Boy, I'll Bet David Vitters Wished He Could Have Invoked Executive Privilege ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

17 July, 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Other Unscripted Comments Heard At The G8 Luncheon

Thursday, July 16, 2009

If You're Not Hip To Will Bunch, Here's Your Chance ...

We have, on numerous occasions, tagged (linked), or included in our Bonus Riffs, the blog "Attytood", written by Philadelphia Daily News Senior Writer, Will Bunch.

Often informative, witty, hysterical, prescient, thoughtful, on-the-money, it is, simple, some darn good writing.

Yesterday, was the 30th Anniversary of what became known as President Jimmy Carter's Malaise Speech, not that what it was titled (The "Crisis of Confidence" Speech), which had to do with our energy policies, among other things.

Bunch takes a look back at it, in his post "The speech that could have saved America", noting "Too bad. I think you can make a strong case that America would be a better place if we had only listened that night."

Here's a snip;

I think a number of enormously positive things would have happened if the alternative energy research -- gutted by Reagan, who in the ultimate act of symbolism even ripped out the solar panels that Carter had installed on the roof of the White House -- and other conservation programs had continued. For one thing, U.S. consumers would have pocketed more of the cash that we instead borrowed from China, and innovation in fields like wind and solar power would have created thousands of new jobs. More importantly, our foreign policy would not be ruled by the need to dominate in the Middle East, and regardless of whether or not you think the 2003 Iraq invasion was all about oil, I think we can agree it never would have happened if the United States wasn't importing 70 percent of its oil, which is a lot MORE than 1977 levels.

Bunch also links to a NYT Op-Ed yesterday, by Gordon Stewart, one the speech's writers.

On July 15 — 30 years ago today — at 10 p.m., President Carter and 100 million people finally faced each other across that familiar Oval Office desk. What they saw and heard was unlike any moment they had experienced from their 39th president. Speaking with rare force, with inflections flowing from meanings he felt deeply, Jimmy Carter called for the “most massive peacetime commitment” in our history to develop alternative fuels.

Contrary to later spin, the speech was extremely popular. The White House was flooded with positive calls. Viewers polled while watching found that the speech inspired them as it unfolded.

Well, we all know how things turned out on that front, and Bunch isn't shy about laying it the feet of Bonzo's former partner, our union-busting 40th President, Ronald Reagan.

Additionally, there's a link to an interview of Bunch, by Crooks and Liars John Amato, regarding Bunch's book, "Tear Down This Myth", that's worth taking the time to check out.

This Date ... On The Garlic

16 July 2008... On The Garlic

New JibJab - Time for Some Campaignin'

It Is The Other Place, Jesse ...

16 July 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Poll Results ... It's A Three Amigos Kind of Day ... The Results To "With President Bush seemingly ending his Cowboy Diplomacy, this signals that ..."

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Brits To Get iButtfuck App

Well, say what you will, at least you could actually pick up, and hold, the Pet Rock.

iPhone launches 'purity ring' application

The iPhone has applications for almost everything, from helping people to choose the best wine for a meal to locating supermarkets in Holland. Now there is one to help them to stay chaste until marriage.

For just 59p, consumers can download an application that allows them to take a purity pledge and then display a silver ring on their phone to prove their commitment to abstinence.

[snip]

"We are preaching to the converted, and we're going for people who wouldn't buy a ring. The app is not the be-all-and-end-all of purity pledges: it's an entry point."

In the US, around 8m people have taken a purity pledge; in the UK, the figure is around 250,000. The country is regularly described as the teenage pregancy capital of Europe, and last week it was revealed that a £6m campaign to cut teenage pregnancies had failed, leading to an increase, rather than a drop, in the number of girls getting pregnant.

Despite these statistics, Bennett thinks the purity ring app "might take off".

Ouch!

Where did this guy learn how to talk to the press, from Duh Valley Swim Club guy?

Henry Bennett, Island Wall Entertainment's director may want to work on his interview skills, and not refer to an Abstinence product as an "entry point".

And, the teenage pregnancy 411;

From Dave Cross's "Silver Ring Thing" (five years ago!);

The result, a paper published in the British Medical Journal shows, is that abstinence programmes are "associated with an increase in the number of pregnancies among partners of young male participants". You read that right: abstinence training increases the rate of teenage pregnancy.

Getting back to that "entry point" reference ...

Jessica Valenti, over on Feministing, with "Need a hymen? There's an app for that.*";

I don't know I shouldn't be surprised that there's a iPhone "purity ring" application - after all, I'm all too familiar with the various ways virginity fetish reveals itself. But this still managed to skeeve me.

[snip]

As we all know, however, the only thing virginity pledges are more likely to make teens follow through will is oral, anal, and unprotected sex. As someone replied to me about the app on Twitter, "Girls who download it are less likely to practice safe texting."

If Bennett is really concerned, and sincere, about Teen Abstinence, than keep "Purity Ring" in play ...

Otherwise, fire up the marketing machines for the iButtfuck, or iBlowjob application, and he'll make a killin' on it

He can even get some help with that from Karl Rove.

Presidential Pitching Rotation

Ahh, you know they were not going to let (pun intended) a softball photo-op go by the boards.

President Obama throws out the ceremonial "first pitch", at the Major League Baseball All-Star Game last evening

Good thing the game was in St. Louis.

If it had been at Bailout Park (Citi Field), there could have been charges of conflict-of-interest

What has us posting about this today (aside from the Flying Monkeys of the Right Wing Freak Show calling Obama a "sissy" for the way he threw the ball), was a Tweet discovered early this morning, from Greg Mitchell (@GregMitch);

NYT says Obama's toss tonite wasn't so hot but "he was pitching on 1,371 days’ rest." Everyone knows you need to go every 5th day.

Most amusing!

A good friend informed us that it is not a tradition to have the President make the first toss, the last time this was done for the All Star Game was in 1976, then-President Gerald Ford doing the honors (and, no, he didn’t bean himself).

Bonus Links

Jack Curry: Obama to Pujols, Without a Bounce

Obama Play-By-Play At 2009 All-Star Game With Joe Buck, Tim McCarver (VIDEO)

Update: Bonus Bonus

President Obama and Willie Mays on Air Force One

Garp House Updated - Bride's Bouquet Brings Down Plane

If we use the benchmark, say, of "The World According To Garp", this is going to be a long, very rich, very loving marriage.

As you may recall, while out house-shopping, a lightweight plane comes crashing into the house Garp, and wife, were looking at, to which Garp squeals with excitement that they must buy it, for what are the odds of a plane hitting the house again?

We shake our heads at this, and wonder, what are the odds ...

Bride's bouquet brings down plane

The traditional throwing of a bride's bouquet for luck ended in disaster at an Italian wedding when the flowers caused a plane to crash.

The bride and groom had hired a microlight plane to fly past and throw the bouquet to a line of women guests, Corriere della Sera reported.

However, the flowers were sucked into the plane's engine causing it to catch fire and explode.

The aircraft plunged into a hostel. One passenger on the plane was badly hurt.

But about 50 people who had been in the hostel escaped unscathed, as did the pilot.

More, from the Guardian U.K.;

Martha Stewart recommends that to "get the blossoms to the wallflowers", the bride should stand "on a balcony, the top of a staircase or a chair". But at this particular wedding in the Tuscan countryside, it was decided to make what proved to be an imprudent break with tradition.

Pensieri was entrusted with the bouquet so that he could cast it dashingly into the outstretched arms of the unmarried female guests as the plane swooped by.

According to Italian news agency reports, however, the flowers disappeared into the tail rotor, causing an explosion in the motor and pitching the ultra-light into a dive. After just missing a hostel in which some 50 young people were gathered, the aircraft plunged to earth in a wood.

[snip]

Isidoro Pensieri, 44, was today recovering at a hospital in Pisa from serious facial and head injuries and two broken legs, sustained when the ultra-light aircraft in which he was travelling crashed near a restaurant at which a wedding reception was being held.

Yikes!

This is one wedding, both the bride, groom, and everybody in attendance won't have trouble remembering.

Something tells me, if Garp was attending the wedding, he would rush to the alter and marry the girl himself.

After all, what are the odds ...

This Date ... On The Garlic

15 July 2008... On The Garlic

In Other Words ...

Don't Be A McCain ... Enjoy The All Star Game Tonight!

15 July 2007... On The Garlic

It Takes A Neocon To Raise A Legacy ... They're Drinking The Kool-Aid Again ...

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?

15 July 2005... On The Garlic

White House To Ice Down Rove, PR Effort; New Charges Emerge As GOP Rallies Around Leaker

NHL Players, Owners Reach Historic Agreement To End Lockout; Players Now Must Pay Owners; Some Media Coverage With 'Please Watch TV'

Top Ten Cloves: Other Ways Karl Rove Helps Journalists With Their Stories

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Genie Follow-Up: How Do You Throw The Book At Them?

We posted last night, about the Saudi family suing a "genie" for making their lives miserable.

Somewhat surprisingly, or happily discovered, such nonsense is well legally-represented.

Alex Knapp, over on Outside The Beltway;

I’m also not aware as to whether such cases are taken seriously in Saudi Arabia, though it appears at first glance that it is. Here in the United States, there are a number of people who believe in angels, demons, etc., and believe it or not, lawsuits are filed against such creatures. These are, obviously, routinely dismissed. My personal favorite lawsuit of this kind is Mayo v. Satan and His Staff, in which a suit against Satan was denied on the grounds of lack of personal jurisdiction and failure to provide instructions to serve process. Funny as that is, this opinion is now routinely cited in judicial opinions regarding jurisdiction and I read it on two separate occasions in law school.

While, over on PrawfsBlawg, Dave Fagundes expresses optimism that new law will emerge;

The mind boggles at the legal difficulties raised by the case. How will the family serve process on the genie? If the genie fails to show up in court, and the family gets a default judgment, how will they collect? (Presumably the genie can use his magical powers to conjure up plenty of cash to satisfy the judgment.) Or does the suit seek injunctive relief? This case represents good news for legal academics, too. The field of genie law is significantly under-written (no articles on Westlaw based on a very cursory search), so the lawsuit should provide lots of fodder for novel scholarship.

And, we had to give ourselves a slap-upside-the-head this morning.

We could have made last nights' post a "Retro Garlic";

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Problems With Suing God

Well ... It Is True ...

Let's get this out of the way, right up front;

"Way to go, Marcy Wheeler!"

With the avalanche of new news, and reports, detailing the lawbreaking, and illegal activities, of The Bush Grindhouse, the PartyofNoicans, and Flying Monkeys of the Right Wing Freak Show are frantically stroking their tiny violins, that any investigation, let alone prosecution, of the dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds, would be damaging to the country, that it is just partisan politics by the liberal Democrats, and just avoid all realism whatsoever.

So yesterday, on MSNBC, they had a segment that included Marcy Wheeler, aka Emptywheel, from Firedoglake.com, pitted against Townhall Flying Monkey Matt Lewis, discussing this this weekends' CIA news, of how, at the direction of Shadow President Dick Cheney, Congress was left in the dark as to certain programs the spooks were undertaking.

And, right near the end of the segment, in a calm, factual tone, Marcy spoke what just about the entire world knows, the hypocracy of the PartyofNocians, and Right Wing Freak Show, pointing out how Bill Clinton was hounded, and, impeached (by the Newt Gingrich-led House) for a blow job.

“Your idea is that after investigating Bill Clinton for a blow job for like five years, we shouldn’t investigate the huge, grossly illegal things that were done under the past administration, only because Alberto Gonzales was too much in the back pocket of Dick Cheney to do it while he was still in office.”

Marcy Wheeler on MSNBC to Discuss Possible Probe of C.I.A. Actions

Marcy's boss on Firedoglake, Jane Hamsher, pithily posted the video, offering only "And oh yeah Dick Cheney was ordering a whole bunch of illegal shit ... Howard Kurtz takes to the fainting couch."

Over on her The Impolitic, Libby Spencer had the right angle on it;

As Jane Hamsher later pointed out, it's pretty effin' comical that after weeks of making tea bagger jokes, the hosts felt compelled to apologize for Marcy's "outburst." Screw that. Blowjob is a word in the dictionary. It made perfect sense in context. And it's not on the fabled 7 dirty words list.

Oh don't worry, this doesn't even count for a warm-up.

The cacophony is building up, and it will be deafening, especially as more, and more, shit comes out (on top of what's already been shaken loose) on the whole gang of them - Bush, Cheney, Libby, Addington, Yoo, Gonzales, et. all.

If Obama wants to start making this world good again, he better, if not turning around and looking backwards, start glancing in the rear view mirror.

The objects in that mirror are closer than they appear.

The On-Line Eyes Will Have It ... Eventually ...

H/T to @GregMitch

Generation Gap

There's been barrels-and-barrels of ink (or bits of type) used up on the death of newspapers, how it will wipe out journalism.

They, perhaps, begrudgingly, put their content on-line (not, in all cases, necessary well), with the rumbles of charging people to read said content (The NYT did that, stopped it, and now may be rebuilding the firewall), which, invariably drops the numbers of readers (as was the case, with the NYT, numerous bloggers posted all, or most, of the NYT Op-ED Columnists, so those that didn't pay the ransom could stay caught up).

Now, this may too simple.

Perhaps the newspapers should stay as newspapers, even on-line.

This was done a few years ago, by a high-tech pub, whose name I can't recall.

You had the on-line experience of turning the pages, you could click a specific article, enlarge it, etc.

While I haven't researched it for this post, I believe the technical ability to do this is there, or, wouldn't be all that arduous to ramp up.

Newspapers could layout the paper on-line, as in print, make the same ads as in print interactive, linked ... In other words, combine the best of both worlds, and they would likely see their circulation stay stable, or, actually increase.

If they continue to print the paper, possibly, they could boost advertising prices, being said advertiser would be getting double exposure (and, a measurable hit rate, via the on-line edition).

Charging for the on-line content may work for some specific, niche-oriented pubs, but something like the NYT, and other daily papers, there's so many ways on-line, so many places to get information (and places that aren't charging for it), that it is unlikely to sustain itself, at least, regarding major, or breaking, news.

What newspapers need to do is stop acting like the last blacksmiths, and harness-makers, in town, complaining about all the Model T's riding around the streets.

Get a glove, get in the game ...

There's a lot more dances left on this card, the band will play on, and we will likely see a number of attempts and iterations, some messy and jumbled, before this all settles down.

Bonus Links

Nicholas Carlson: New York Times Considers Charging $5 Per Month For Access To NYT.com (NYT)

Glynnis MacNicol: NYT.com to Put an End to Freeloading Readers!

Clay Shirky: Newspapers and Thinking the Unthinkable

Will Bunch: The scoop on newspapers giving out free electronics

MG Siegler: The Big Screen Kindle Hail Mary To Newspapers Will Fall Incomplete

Edward Wasserman: Commentary: How Twitter poses a threat to newspapers

Fête Nationale! ... Le Quatorze Juillet ... Bon Bastille Day!

Bon Bastille Day, to all our French friends!

As we all know, this is the day marking "the 1790 Fête de la Fédération, held on the first anniversary of the storming of the Bastille on 14 July 1789; the anniversary of the storming of the Bastille fortress-prison was seen as a symbol of the uprising of the modern nation, and of the reconciliation of all the French inside the constitutional monarchy which preceded the First Republic, during the French Revolution."

If there's a party in your area, then get to partying!

We'll kick one off here, with one of The Garlic's favorites, Mireille Mathieu, who we first got hip to in the 1973 Claude Lelouch gem, "La bonne année".

Bon Bastille Day!

Mireille Mathieu sings La marseillaise

(Here's a cleaner, audio-only verision)

Movie fans may prefer this one, the scene from 'Casablanca'

Or, one from another French icon - Serge Gainsbourg chante La Marseillaise à Strasbourg

Go to the BBC for "In pictures: Bastille Day parade"

This Date... On The Garlic

14 July 2008... On The Garlic

No. 2,000!

14 July 2007... On The Garlic

Of Lawrence Welk and Disappointments ... We Yield To Others This Evening ...

14 July 2005... On The Garlic

Santorum Adds Red Sox Win To List On Priest Abuse; Says Belief In Curses, Hatred Of Yankees Shows Liberal Decadence

Bush Considers Reality TV Show To Determine Next Justice; Meets With Producers, Scans Video of Favorite Shows; May Let Public Decide

Ebbers Gets 25-Years; Judge Needs To Explain Sentence in Context

Top Ten Cloves: Specials Sections and Features of New CBS Blog

Monday, July 13, 2009

Paging Barbara Eden!

Maybe, just maybe, they can sell the movie rights to this, have it come out as a, kind of, Arabic "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir" thing.

Either that, or Barbara Eden may get a call, to see if she is available, and, how well can she throw rocks.

Saudi family sues genie, alleges harassment

- A family in Saudi Arabia has taken a genie to court, alleging theft and harassment, according to local media.

The lawsuit filed in Shariah court accuses the genie of leaving them threatening voicemails, stealing their cell phones and hurling rocks at them when they leave their house at night, said Al-Watan newspaper.

An investigation was under way, local court officials said.

[snip]

The family, which has lived in the same house near the holy city of Medina for 15 years, said it became aware of the spirit in the past two years.

"We began hearing strange noises," the head of the family, who requested anonymity, told Al-Watan. "In the beginning, we didn't take it seriously, but after that, stranger things started happening and the children got really scared when the genie began throwing stones."

From the LA Times;

The genie -- or genies -- had demands: “A woman spoke to me first, and then a man. They said we should get out of the house,” said the family member, adding that his clan fled their home near the city of Medina.

A genie with demands ...

Something tells me there's a story, behind the story, here.

Hmmm ...

Use the ol' "Genie haunting my house" to get out of a mortgage, or back rent? ... A bad business deal? ... A less than bulging marriage dowry?

Maybe, it's just that they live next door to a drunk.

Or, perhaps, these people are related to the Palins, and are stark-raving lunatics

This Date ... On The Garlic

13 July 2008... On The Garlic

Another Goldbricking Day ... But With Some Bonuses

Today's Forecast - No Snow

13 July 2007... On The Garlic

Minced Garlic - New Keith Olbermann Special Comment ... All hail the prophetic gut!

13 July 2006... On The Garlic

Bush Stuns Germany’s Merkel With Hearty Belly Kiss; White House Cites – Again – Faulty Intelligence; Blames Former CIA Chief Tenet

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Why Homeland Security Can’t Fill Cyber Security Post

13 July 2005.. On The Garlic

McClellan Battered, Digs Deeper Hole Over CIA Leak; President Disputes Having Confidence In Staff; Cites Rove and now, Press Secretary

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At The Major League Baseball All-Star Game

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Vaudeville Banana Peel Gag Update!

We needed a softball one like this today ...

Oh, man, you know, it was bound to happen, to someone, at some point, that it was inevitable.

After all, we already have a growing menace of people having auto accidents while texting, you just had to expect some dunderhead coming along and ...

Well ... Enter Alexa Longueira ...

Teen Girl Falls In Open Manhole While Texting

It was an accident waiting to happen -- an open sewer and a 15-year-old girl who was texting while she walked.

Alexa Longueira, a high school sophomore, was walking along Victory Boulevard near Travis Avenue on Staten Island Wednesday evening when she felt the earth move and was plunged into smelly darkness.

She said the manhole she fell in to was left open and unattended with no warning signs or orange cones. She said two workers with the New York City Department of Environmental Protection failed to secure the area as they prepared to flush the sewer.

Somebody send this girl a boxed set of Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin and Harold Lloyd DVDs!

Yeah, I know, she could have been hurt, but, you gotta admit, this is pretty hysterical.

Jonathan Turley weighs in on the legal angle', in his cleverly-titled "OMG SNERT HAS NU TXT TORT! Girl Walks Into Open Sewer Hole While Texting";

The high school sophomore has a case. While she was negligent in texting and walking, the courts have previously ruled that cities must anticipate inattentive people or people with disabilities who may not see an open manhole or ditch. In Fletcher v. City of Aberdeen (1959), the city workers failed to put back barriers around an open hole and the court found that the city had to anticipate such individuals who cannot see such a danger. Likewise, Robinson v. Pioche, Bayerque & Co. (1855), a court found that the inebriation of an individual was not a defense for a city. In a statement that may fit this teenager’s case, the court held that “a drunken man is as much entitled to a safe street as a sober one, and much more in need of it.”

And, yes, the family is practicing shouting out "Show Me The Money".

Longueira said she was helped out of the five-foot deep sewer by an apologetic DEP worker.

She went to the hospital and the city opened an investigation, issuing the following statement:

"We regret that this happened and wish the young woman a speedy recovery."

The Longueira family wants more than get well wishes. They may sue. Alexa's mother, Kim, said: "It could have been an elderly person, a mother pushing a stroller. It could have been anyone."

Alexa lost one of her sneakers in the sewer. She does not want it back.

The girl's mother said Alexa will see more doctors next week to get an MRI and check for damage to her spine.

Might add, go shopping for neck braces.

And, it was Jazz Shaw, over on The Moderate Voice, that picked out the money-shot-punchline for this;

And for bonus points, here’s the kicker. She falls into a five foot deep sewer in an accident traumatic enough that she lost one of her shoes in the process. Yet she managed to keep hold of the phone.

There's new commercial waiting to be screened.

All those Verizon people crammed into the sewer, girl disheveled, only one sneaker on, looking up, through the open manhole to blue skies, shouting "Can you hear me now?", the geeky glasses guy giving her a "thumbs up".

Might not stop there.

Could be Darwin, or Stella Award in the works ...