9. In his hearing Terrell Owens said he meant to say that he'd rather have Brett Favre cook dinner than Donovan McNabb
8. FEMA is still waiting for the mayors and governors to call before they deliver the Thanksgiving MRE's
7. Bill O'Reilly's favorite way to cook a turkey is just like himself - Half-Baked
6. Jean Schmidt said "turkeys cut and run, but not first-year junior senators from Ohio who smear their colleagues"
5. Bob Novak doesn't plan on carving his turkey this year, he's going to punch out the slices
4. "You don't typically spread the gravy with a knife, do you?"
3. Your 16-year-old techno geek cousin is video-podcasting the dinner
2. In his Holiday Radio Address, President Bush claims that Congress got same cornbread stuffing recipe that he got
1. Not only is the turkey a Butterball, but it was also water boarded by the CIA
Vice President Dick Cheney is planning on having Thanksgiving Dinner in his Secret Bunker, using a secret recipe and hosting an undisclosed list of guests