Don't be left out this evening.
Maybe you're hosting or attending a Major League Baseball All-Star Game party ... You'll be around hardcore fans and you know jack-shit about baseball ... You're nervous, fear-filled sweat pouring off you, like a Senator caught with a hooker...
No way can you work your Blackberry discreetly, searching through baseball sites or Googling the lingo, so you can be hip and flow with the conversation ...
Well, fear no more ...
Just read The Garlic's legendary essay;
Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?
You won't blurt out anything like "why don't they call it 4th base", or wonder the big deal between a starting pitcher and relief pitcher ... You learn the difference between "dugout" and "bullpen" ... Designated hitter and pinch hitter ... And why a battery in baseball has nothing to do with a perpetually-moving toy bunny, banging a drum ...
Get ready to enter the riveting and arcane world of baseball.
Here's just a small sampling of the testimonials that poured in.
“As you may know, I had to make a pretty big decision this past weekend and your baseball piece really helped chill me out and relax – Thanks!”Bonus Links
Katie Couric , NBC Today Show ... CBS Evening News
“While I enjoyed reading your ‘Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?’, I fear it could fuel an upswing in illegal immigration, unless this government starts protecting our borders.”
Lou Dobbs, CNN
Since I’ve been in a letter-writing mode lately, thought I’d drop you a note to say how much I enjoyed the baseball essay and how much I learned from it. Perhaps, someday, we’ll have the game over here (and with the stadium lights powered by our new nuclear energy!)
President of Iran
I am going to give you a scoop.
After recently reading your post “Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?” I just had to quit Rocketboom, so I could begin my new career in baseball right away!
Former Internet News Star
Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal; Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone; Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA
Politics and Sports Collide; Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush
South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs; MLB Mulling Changing Status Of Home Runs In Wake Of New Bonds Allegations
Second Palmeiro Bombshell: Tests Positive For Cialis
Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids; Drops Bombshell In Break From Tradition Established in 1934