Saturday, August 04, 2007

The Night of the Jackal ... And A New Garlic Song - The Congress Sleeps Tonight

"The President wants a blank check. The Congress is not going to give it to him."
There's a scene in the taut, classic thriller 'Day of the Jackal' (and please, don't even think of bringing up the piece of crap with Bruce Willis and Richard Gere), where Inspector Lebel (played superbly by Michael Lonsdale) addresses the secret task force in charge of stopping the Jackal (Edward Fox) from assassinating Charles De Gaulle, and roots out a leaker.

After the astonished members settle down a minister asks "How did you know whose telephone to tap?" and Lebel responds, dryly and succinctly "I didn't, so I tapped them all."

So we now have the Bush Grindhouse, free to do as they please - once again, browbeating the Democrats into another losing vote - and, let's not forget, they have the extra billy club of that nifty Executive Order The Commander Guy gave himself last week.

So aside from some free passes to Wally World, as they jump in their station wagons for a month's vacation (and with the Iraqi Parliament cooling their heels in August, did Congress, or the President give our soldiers the time off over in Iraq?), what more can we do for our shrinking, emasculated Congress?

Why, a Garlic Song certainly would be welcomed, to serenade those that chose not to fight, not to serve, not assist the American people against this egregious attack from this person that occupies the great office of the President of the United States.

You know the tune, so sing along.
The Congress Sleeps Tonight

A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps,
A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps,

In the Capitol, the mighty Capitol
The Congress sleeps tonight
In the Senate the quivering Senate
Bush Gets His Way, Alright

Near the White House, the Unitarian White House
The Congress sleeps tonight
Near the White House, the law-breaking White House
They gave away our rights

Blush my darling and fear my darling
The Congress sleeps tonight
Don't rush my darling your acquiescing my darling
The Congress sleeps, with no oversight, tonight

A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps,
A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps, A-We-Some-Wimps
Bonus Links

Glenn Greenwald: Democrats' responsibility for Bush radicalism

Edward Copeland: Even the rulings against it are done in secret

Robert Parry: Bush's Secret Spying on Americans

Daily Kos: Senate Gives in on Wiretapping. 16 Dems Go Along

Sleep well, my darlings ...

Friday, August 03, 2007

Inner Turmoil Has Bush Blaming Bridge Collapse On Al Qaeda In Iraq; Cheney Points To Iran

White House Torn Apart, Aides Sniping At Each Other; DHS's Chertoff Ad-Libs "Dry Run" Scenario As Middle Ground

On the eve of his visit to the disaster-stricken, collapsed Minnesota bridge, President Bush is said to be engaged in a bitter division with his self-appointed Vice President.

Sources tell The Garlic this evening that a full-scale brawl has erupted in the West Wing of the Bush Grindhouse, as aides supportive of The Commander Guy are standing behind him in wanting to blame the collapse of the I-35W Bridge in Minneapolis, Minnesota on al Qaeda in Iraq.

This pits them against a larger group firmly supporting Vice President Dick Cheney, who seeks to claim that the bridge collapse is the work of agents from Iran.

"This is as bad as it has ever been," offered a source, with close ties to the Bush Grindhouse.

"They've gone full bore on this, with press releases already prepared ... Video is being edited in the Situation Room, to back up arguments ... There's a rumor going around that Cheney, working through his people in the Pentagon, already have four, or five stooges in Iran, that they can pin a conspiracy gang charge on ...Cheney's winning this thing, he's got all his cards lined-up"

The President, reportedly, is leaning on the National Security Agency (NSA) to produce captured, legal or illegal, wiretaps to back up his claim.

Publicly, The Decider Guy has been conducting his affairs in a normal fashion, offering his sympathies to the victims of the bridge collapse and, at the same time, hedging his bets with citing deficiencies in the bridge.

It was said that Bush had a "very difficult time" not speaking out at his Rose Garden news conference yesterday, to begin pointing the finger at al Qaeda in Iraq.

Cheney Stiffed By Russert; Chertoff Ad-Libs New "Gut Feeling"

Meanwhile, the Vice President was said to be calling Tim Russert, and seeking to get on 'Meet The Press" this coming weekend, offering the host an "irresistible scoop" regarding the bridge collapse.

The Vice President's office, confident that could break the Iran-Is-To-Blame charge on national television, was stunned when Russert failed to offer Cheney a segment on the program.

There are reports that Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff was pulled into the mix, and put on the spot of either supporting the President, or the Vice President.

Chertoff, apparently, ad-libbed a new "gut feeling", indicating that it would be best to categorize the bridge collapse as a "possible dry run" by terrorists looking to attack the United States again.

First Lady Calls For New Donation

With the First Lady, Laura Bush, visiting the disaster site today, no word of the feud was leaked, so as not to put the First Lady in a position of having to publicly rebuke, presumably, the Vice President.

The First Lady met with emergency officials and rescue workers, offering her sympathies and support.

"And many bridges are stable But, of course, what we see on television is the one bridge collapse a day that discourages everybody."

The First Lady also announced that she will be asking friends and supporters of the President add $35 to their $61 donation to the RNC, as a tribute for her husbands' birthday, with the extra money being designated for any single woman effected by the bridge collapse, that they can continue their hunt for a husband.

Bridge Opportunity Zone May Be In The Offing

It's not clear if The Shakespeare Guy will come out and blame al Qaeda in Iraq during his visit to Minneapolis tomorrow.

Aides, particularly the group working on his domestic agenda, are lobbying for a "New Orleans-type" speech.

The White House has shipped klieg lights to the Twin Cities, and sent an advance team to scout out cathedrals that Bush could use as a backdrop.

If the President does that, gushed a source close to the West Wing, "we can get the bridge refugees up and back on their feet, just as good, and just as quickly as we got New Orleans back on her feet".

The domestic team has advocated to the President that he announce a "Bridge Opportunity Zone", following his New Orleans blueprint, to assist persons and business affected by the bridge collapse.

The President, will not, as some wire reports indicated, name a "Bridge Czar", and Vice President Dick Cheney will not accompany the President to Minneapolis.

The OVP indicated there is a schedule conflict, that the Vice President will be with former Secretary of War Donald "I Can't Recall" Rumsfeld, preparing for the Armageddon.

The President may reprise his New Orleans plan and announce a "Bridge Opportunity Zone" during his visit to Minneapolis tomorrow

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Breaking News! Bush Grindhouse Backs Up Letter With Wiretap Poll Showing Overwhelming Support For Gonzales

Massive Overnight Data Mining Rings In Big Number For Embattled Crony General; "They Want Him To Lie More"

The Bush Grindhouse, followed up the letter sent yesterday by Intelligence Czar Mike McConnell, with another set of documents, culled from their Terror Surveillance Program, and "other intelligence activities", showing overwhelming support for the embattled Crony General Alberto Gonzales.

"They love him," beamed Grindhouse Press Secretary Tony Snow. "They want him to lie more."

According to Snow, the Grindhouse conducted -legally - a series or wiretaps, as well as a massive Data Mining program, keying in on Gonzales, and his testimony given last week.

The Bush Grindhouse cites well over 78% approval for Gonzales via the Wiretapping, and slightly less support, only 68%, coming from the Data Mining exercise.

"The people emailing pulled the numbers down a bit," confessed Snow, "but overall, we extremely pleased that, along with the President, an overwhelming and significant number of Americans also have confidence in the Crony General."

The documents supplied today to the Senate Judiciary Committee were only an overview of the results of the Wiretapping and Data Mining Poll.

"Since most of this is classified, we can't release the raw results," said Snow.

Gonzales, who had his testimony contradicted by FBI Director Robert Mueller, has until Friday to correct his answers, or face a possible perjury charge, and, potentially, impeachment.

"We looked for those things as well," added Snow, "and it was strong, very strong, against taking any action on the Crony General ... They want him to stay right where he is, and doing the things he does best ..."

Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) said he was enraged with the report given him today, and indicated that he may, if his anger stays with him, fire off another letter to the Bush Grindhouse.

"This is unacceptable, " fumed Specter. "A blind poll, that we can't see who was polled, and what the results were ... I'm beside myself ... This administration is very close ... Very close to getting another letter from me!"

Specter's colleague, Judiciary Committee Chairman, Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT), was also displeased, indicating he may give the Bush Grindhouse the month of August to redo the Wiretapping and Data Mining Poll and resubmit it to the committee.

"This is ridiculous," barked Leahy. "We'd like to submit our own questions to this Wiretapping and Data Mining audience, to get our own results. I agree with my colleague, Mr. Specter, that another stern protest letter is probably warranted here."

When apprised of this latest development, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi expressed her disagreement with Specter and Leahy.

"We have to stop the war and have the business of the country to attend to," huffed Pelosi. "I have no interest in letter writing ... It's off the table."

Bonus Links

Anonymous Liberal: The Gang of Eight Smokescreen

TalkLeft - NewSpeak: Bush's FISA Proposal

The Crony General: "Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time ..."

Barry Crimmins ..."Support Our Dupes!"

The great satirist Barry Crimmins takes on hero worship, the jingoistic patriotism of the Bush Grindhouse and the Pat Tillman case, in his post "Support Our Dupes!".

Timely, with the the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform holding hearings today on The Tillman Fratricide, and none other than former former Secretary of War, Donald "You Go With The Cover-Up You Have, Not The Cover-Up You Wished You Had" Rumsfeld bellying up to the table.

With the war now being projected to cost over $1-Trillion, wonder what the DOD's breakdown is on CPH (Cost per Hero) and CPCO (Cost per Cover-Up)?


Read Barry Crimmins' "Support Our Dupes!"

Visit Barry Crimmins Website

Barry Crimmins On The Garlic

Bonus Links

Think Progress: Time For President To Come Clean On Tillman Cover-Up; Our guest blogger is Jon Soltz, chairman of and veteran of the Iraq war

Think Progress: The Ever Changing Definition of ‘Mission’ In Iraq

Quick, Get Condi The Cliff Notes on al Qaeda ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Condi, Condi, Condi ...

It's been said that your star is fading and, by the looks of it, you're sinking faster than Ted Steven's plans to add another addition to his house.

I mean, your off on confirming the arms sales ... Errr, a new diplomatic mission, and they send you over there with a chaparone - The Secretary of Defense... Not so criptic a message there, heh, girl? ...

Is Cheney busting your balls about you taking the back seat, now that he, seemingly, has The Commander Guy back on the "Let's Bomb Iran" bus? ...

Did they ship Gates over with you, to help you bone-up on who the al Qaeda is that we're fighting, at least, for this week?

Our Garlic Poll Voters believe that to be the case, that you've been hitting the books to get it down (though, for awhile there, the voting was heading towards you being Michael Vick's bitch, that is, in Let's the dogfighting business).

So, not to leave you in a lurch, we have a little limerick here, that you can use to help you remember which al Qaeda is it we are touting, for you to be on-message with the Bush Grindhouse.

There was an al Qaeda in Pakistan
Safe and secure due to no plan
But the Neocons took a turn
For which now Baghdad burns
And it is al Qaeda in Iraq that we attack
The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 23 - July 30, 2007

Where's Condi Rice? Is she out, or is she ...

1. Studying ... Having a hard time getting down which Al Qaeda group were fighting in Iraq Tally 36%

2. With Michael Vick's indictment, had to scurry off and shut down her illegal dogfighting joint Tally 34%

3. In an undisclosed location - White House wants her as far away from any subpoenas as possible Tally 15%

4. Like the Iraqi Parliament, taking the summer off Tally 15%

This week’s Poll - The Iraqi Government is going on vacation for the month of August, which likely means ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Monday, July 30, 2007

Swedish Film Icon Ingmar Bergman Dead At 89 ; Police Depressed, Working Through Emptiness, Not Ruling Out Foul Play

Internationally-known film director Ingmar Bergman died today
, at the age of 89.

Bergman, the iconic and celebrated director of over 60 films, including three Academy Award winners ("The Virgin Spring" (1960), "Through a Glass Darkly" (1961), and "Fanny and Alexander" (1982), died at his home on the Baltic islet of Faro, north of the tourist island of Gotland, Sweden.

Mr. Bergman's body was discovered in an empty, all white, emotionally-barren room, a stale twinge of sadness hanging thickly in the air, with discarded nuances strewn about.

While it appears Bergman passed away from natural causes, police, depressed, and working through emptiness, are not ruling out foul play, after the discovery of a second body found nearby on Bergman's property.

It was a large, older man, dressed in a full-length robe, with a hood. Near the body of the second person, a large, long-handled scythe was found, next to a chess set, and what appeared to be a completed match, black winning over white.

Police refused to comment if the two deaths are related, but did issue a statement that the area in which the two bodies were found reeked of erotic tension and isolated cruelty, while intertwined with unparalleled beauty.

"It was, all at once, eerily terrifying, yet serenely peaceful, washing over you a sense of powerlessness that leads to unfulfilled despair," noted the police report.


IHT: Ingmar Bergman is dead at 89

Edward Copeland on Film

IMBD: Ingmar Bergman

Wikipedia: Ingmar Bergman