Saturday, October 04, 2008

She's Not A Hockey Mom with Lipstick ... She's Emily Litella!

We referenced this in our post yesterday.

During the VP Debate Thursday evening, the Republican Candidate for Vice President ended her exercise in delivering talking points by quoting, in her final statement, the ol' Gipper, former President (well, he had the title, anyway), Ronald Reagan;

We have to fight for our freedoms, also, economic and our national security freedoms.

It was Ronald Reagan who said that freedom is always just one generation away from extinction. We don't pass it to our children in the bloodstream; we have to fight for it and protect it, and then hand it to them so that they shall do the same, or we're going to find ourselves spending our sunset years telling our children and our children's children about a time in America, back in the day, when men and women were free.
Unlike her running mate, Mommy Moose can't pull out the POW-POW-POW card, so, you go next best, and wave that flag, high and proud, using the forum of the nationally-televised debate to shake a good dose of jingoism all over us.

A Frank Capra moment ...


However, there's only a slight problem with it.

Either the Wasilla Whiz Kid didn't research, and put this together herself (by all accounts of her, that's extremely doubtful), or the Rove Rats in the Dead Campaign Express just pulled it off the World Wide Web and threw it in, believing, as we noted above, end the night waving, verbally, at least, Old Glory.

The problem is Reagan, how, and what he was using that quote for.

The Gipper was rallying the Right Wing troops, jingoistically hamming it up, as part of Operation Coffeecup, to defeat the advent of Medicare.

Reagan was paid by the American Medical Association to make a recording, inveighing against Medicare!

From Larry DeWitt's "Operation Coffeecup: Ronald Reagan’s Effort to Prevent the Enactment of Medicare";

In order to maintain the illusion of spontaneity, the AMA did not announce the existence of Operation Coffeecup or publicize the Reagan recording. The record was to be used, campaign organizers cautioned, only in the groups meeting under the controlled conditions of the informal coffees. Under no circumstances, recipients of the record were warned, were they to permit commercial broadcast of the recording.
(You can go here to listen to the YouTube of the Reagan "Operation Coffeecup" recording)

From Paul Krugman today;

When did he say this? It was on a recording he made for Operation Coffeecup — a campaign organized by the American Medical Association to block the passage of Medicare. Doctors’ wives were supposed to organize coffee klatches for patients, where they would play the Reagan recording, which declared that Medicare would lead us to totalitarianism.

You couldn’t make this stuff up.
I am a bit surprised, Palin, being young, and at a college, didn't pull out the "Ask not what your country can do for you, But ask what you can do for Country First - because, you know, John McCain is the only one in this campaign who can say he would stoop so low as to have me exploit Ronald Reagan and JFK in the same evening, just for the purpose of sucking in a few more votes ..."

Or, maybe, pull up Eisenhower's "Military Industrial Complex" speech, and lift a few passages from that, if only to wink one out to the home base.
Throughout America's adventure in free government, our basic purposes have been to keep the peace; to foster progress in human achievement, and to enhance liberty, dignity and integrity among people and among nations. To strive for less would be unworthy of a free and religious people. Any failure traceable to arrogance, or our lack of comprehension or readiness to sacrifice would inflict upon us grievous hurt both at home and abroad.
Add a few line about the son in the Army, and the flags would practically wave themselves.

Ya Betch'ya!

I can't wait to see what Peggy Noonan does with this.

Being the #1 Gipper Groupie, she must have turned even a ghostlier shade of white when she heard Palin dropping the Gipper's' words.

The Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain Campaign, who she has already dissed in public once, now appropriating the brilliance of Ronald Reagan, for a cheap political stunt?

"How dare they do that to my beloved Ronnie!"

(And you don't want to mess too much with The Nooner ... She's got connections with that that old Iran-Contra gang, and they have the resources to make it look like it was a wolf in a helicopter that does the shootin' of certain nitwits that dare use Ronnie like that.)

It's fascinating, how these people actually work at, go out of their way, to make themselves look ridiculous.

Palin's not a "Hockey Mom with Lipstick" ...

She's Emily Litella!

Can we expect a press release coming soon, succinctly saying "Never Mind"?

Bonus Palin "Brilliant!" Riffs

Wonkette: COMMUNISTS AMONGST US - Palin Quoted Reagan Calling Medicare Communism

John Aravosis: Is Palin against Medicare?

Jonathan Chait: Palin Channels Reagan

Attaturk: Know what you’re quoting

Saturday Night Live - Weekend Update: Emily Litella on Puerto Rico

Gilda Radner - Emily Litela: Substitute Teacher

Palin Whines, Katie Wouldn't Let Her Slime Obama

"The Sarah Palin in those interviews was a little bit annoyed".
No, she's not vapid, or, dumb, or an idiot.

Her interview with Katie Couric was not, as Keith Olbermann put forth, the "smoking gun of stupidity".

Mommy Moose was just, darn it, annoyed.

In a post-debate interview with Fox News' Cal Cameron (you can watch it here), the Wasilla Whiz Kid unloaded, annoyed, steaming that Katie Couric wouldn't let her slime and smear Barack Obama, instead, as we saw, simply lobbing the softest of softballs at her.

It was not, as Palin's spokesperson, Meg Stapleton, offered, Palin merely "jumping to the next question"

Matthew DeLong, over on The Washington Independent caught this gem;

Said Stapleton;
“I think what she’s doing is she leaps ahead and anticipates the next question. In this case, I think, obviously she’s very well familiar with Exxon Valdez. Not only that, it impacts her family. It impacts every single Alaskan, and so she is very familiar with it. I think she just starts getting to, ‘OK, so I bring up Exxon. What’s next?’ And she starts then getting into this battle in the weeds. So, I think, she is working her hardest to answer the questions, at the same time that she’s also jumping ahead and jumping to the next question, before she’s answering the first.”
Well, I suppose, you can be "jumping to the next question" and be annoyed at the same time.

So, what did Mommy Moose want to do with the Couric interview?

Well, as ABC News noted, she wanted to do a "Do Over".
"OK, I'll tell you honestly," Palin said, "the Sarah Palin in those interviews is a little bit annoyed because it's like, man, no matter what you say, you're going to get clobbered. If you choose to answer a question, you are going to get clobbered on the answer. If you choose to try and pivot and go on to another subject that you believe that Americans want to hear about, you get clobbered for that, too."

Palin added, "In those Katie Couric interviews I did feel that there were a lot of things that she was missing in terms of an opportunity to ask what a vice presidential candidate stands for -- what the values are represented in our ticket. I wanted to talk about Barack Obama increasing taxes, which would lead to killing jobs, wanted to talk about his proposal to increase government spending by another trillion dollars. Some of his comments that he has made about the war that I think may, in my world, disqualifies someone from consideration as the next commander in chief. ... I wanted to talk about things like that. So, I guess I have to apologize about being a little annoyed, but that is also an indication of being outside that Washington elite, outside of the media elite, also, and just wanted to talk to Americans without the filter and let them know what we stand for."
The handlers at the Sedona gulag, where Palin is encased most of the time, must have worked overtime, for she rattled off to Cameron all the things she reads, ripped off Supreme Court cases and, along with being annoyed, also admitted that, perhaps she was also "kind of flippant".

So, the vibe going forward must be, to interview the Republican candidate for Vice President, you must not ask simple, everyday questions.

No softballs, no inquiries a sixth-grade civic student could snap off an answers, while chewing gum at the same time.

You just have to let "Palin be Palin", and allow her to regurgitate the campaign talking points.

That's it.

Otherwise, she'll be "whinin' atch'ya"

Bonus Palin Pouting Riffs

Steven D: Katie Couric is an Annoying

Sam Stein: Palin On Fox News: Couric Annoyed Me

TBogg: Oh. My. Gawd.

Brad: Can it get any worse?

Elmera Gantry

The 1,001 Points of Light

Bonus Bonus

This one's for you, Sarah!


This Date ... On The Garlic

4 October 2007... On The Garlic

Free Burma!

4 October 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Bush Counting On New Controversy To Bury Iraq, Woodward News; New White House Bombshell: Bush Considering Medal of Freedom Award For Foley; Cites Scandalized Congressman’s Loyalty In House And “Foley’s Attention and Support of Page Program”

Top Ten Cloves: Options Speaker of the House Denny Hastert Is Looking At To Save His Job

4 October 2005... On The Garlic

Cheney to Miers: "Way To Go There Girl"; VP Gave Advice, Coached To Choose Herself; Longtime Prez Cook and Gardener On Short List

Top Ten Cloves: Signs Your Congressman May Be Laundering Money

Friday, October 03, 2008

"So, maverick he is not ..."

I'm not sure I am going to (or want to) write another post on last evenings debate.

After all, was Sarah Palin totally vapid?

Ya Betcha!

Did Sarah Palin read her talking points/canned speech from notes on the podium?

Doggonit, Ya Betcha!

Did Sarah Palin screw up using the Reagan quote?

Doggonit! ... Darn right! ... Ya Betcha!

We could go on-and-on with the wisdom of the Wasilla Whiz Kid, but it could cause a colic epidemic

Even if ya survived the debate, everyone should be feeling a bit woozy today, from the stench of the Right Wing Freak Show, hootin' and hollarin', doin', ya know, the victory dance, for Palin clearing the lowest of expectations, and, sans any drooling or mucus.

She exited the debate stage upright, and breathing, setting off the Flying Monkeys in their jubilation, and, likely, giving the old, crony white hairs of the party, a woody.

And it was lamented, to some extent, on the cables, in their post-debate gum-flapping, that there were no gaffes, or YouTube moments ...

Unless ya' count all the gaffes and YouTube moments the gum-flappers missed.

Fer instance -- Joe Biden's slap-down of Mommy Moose, and, more importantly, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, over his phony "maverick" status was "the" YouTube moment of the debate.

As you may recall, McCain's faux Maverickosity was challenged last month on The Garlic:

It should also be said, that a 72-year-old, party-toeing, multi-presidential-race loser being called maverick is like calling a 72-year-old Willie Mays "slugger".

It's a affectionate moniker, tossed at days gone by.

And there's always something creepy about people who give themselves, or referring to themselves constantly, by a nickname.
Here's the video of the moment last evening;

Biden at VP Debate: McCain's Not Been a Maverick

Here it is, in print;
"Let's talk about the maverick John McCain is. And, again, I love him. He's been a maverick on some issues, but he has been no maverick on the things that matter to people's lives," Biden carefully explained. "He voted four out of five times for George Bush's budget, which put us a half a trillion dollars in debt this year and over $3 trillion in debt since he's got there. He has not been a maverick in providing health care for people. He has voted against -- he voted including another 3.6 million children in coverage of the existing health care plan, when he voted in the United States Senate. He's not been a maverick when it comes to education. He has not supported tax cuts and significant changes for people being able to send their kids to college. He's not been a maverick on the war. He's not been a maverick on virtually anything that genuinely affects the things that people really talk about around their kitchen table. Can we send -- can we get Mom's MRI? Can we send Mary back to school next semester? We can't -- we can't make it. How are we going to heat the … house this winter? He voted against even providing for what they call LIHEAP, for assistance to people, with oil prices going through the roof in the winter. So maverick he is not on the important, critical issues that affect people at that kitchen table."
Game ... Set ... Match!

The Obama Campaign should ride this right through November 4, whipping the phony maverick war horse all the way through the finish line, much as Red Pollard rode Seabiscuit to so many victories.

It will drive the stumblin' fly boy up a wall, to have his former pals in the press report Obama and Biden dissing him and his record, especially the bogus "maverick" legend.

This will bring things on the Dead Campaign Express to a full boil, with McCain finally snapping, preferably during the next debate.

Then we'll have that one, beautiful "Perry Mason" moment, with McCain, melting down, flipping his lid on stage, in front of tens of millions on national television.

Will that seal the deal for Obama?

Ya betcha!

Bonus Palin Beats Dewey Debate Riffs

John Aravosis: Sarah Palin revels in being unqualified

Prairie Weather: Palin v. perception

Steve Benen: Prairie Weather: AFTER THE DUST SETTLES...

Kos: Post-debate thoughts

Logan Murphy: VP Debate: Biden - “How Different Is John McCain’s Policy Going To Be Than George Bush’s?”

Nick Juliano and David Edwards: Biden: McCain is 'no maverick for things that matter'

Top Ten Cloves: Ways John McCain Isn't Like Herbert Hoover

McCain Admits He's "Divorced from day-to-day challenges people have"

This Date ... On The Garlic

3 October 2007... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Burma Junta Contracting Blackwater For Internal Security; Could Mean Exit From Iraq For Embattled Mercenary Firm; Radio's Limbaugh Charges "Phony Monks" Stirring Up Trouble

It's MLB Playoff Time ... That Means Time For The Garlic Baseball Primer Essay

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Leading To Newt Gingrich Deciding Not To Run For President

3 October 2006... On The Garlic

News In Brief - Snow: “Just, Simply, A Naughty Little Grammar Snafu”; New White House Problem: Held Report Allegedly Says Iraq History Will Have Exclamation Point, Not Comma

Top Ten Cloves: Ways White House Is Thinking About To Help Condoleezza Rice Remember Meetings She Attends

3 October 2005... On The Garlic

Garlic Exclusive! Disney Tosses Hat Into Hurricane Ring; Said To Make Bid To Purchase New Orleans; Multiple Themes Parks Already There; Deal Would Give Disney Channel Exclusive Hurricane Coverage Through 2011

Top Ten Cloves: How Colleagues Will Welcome New Chief Justice To Supreme Court His First Day

Thursday, October 02, 2008

VP Debate Results: Kick The Can

Now, I think I know why Sarah Palin practiced for her debate outdoors.

They were busy with the massive canning operation indoors.

Jesus, Del Monte doesn't do as much canning in 90-minutes.

Was it a fund-raising move, to have Mommy Moose sponsored by the American Canning Association?

I don't have the transcript yet, but I know, at one point, Palin, who up to that point, cheerfully, and full of perk, had been answering the questions with her own answers, not, necessarily generated by the question, came right out and said she wasn't going to answer the questions the way Moderator Gwen Ifill, or her debate challenger, Senator Joe Biden, liked.

The clearest view of Sarah Palin that came out this evening is that either the coaching worked, or she has the extraordinary capability to memorize the notes.

At times, you could see Mommy Moose drifting into that Tina Fey/Katie Couric mode, almost seeing her words heaved onto the conveyor belt, going to the "Out Tube".

She hit, and early, all the homey, folksy targets, I suppose, to try to keep them in their seats.

She did "Shout Outs" to Soccer Moms and Dads, Joe Six Pack and, of course, the Hockey Moms.

And she attacked Joe Biden, frequently and often.

Biden, for his part, did exactly what he should have done, and needed to do - He protected and defended Barack Obama, and he hammered home McCain = Bush.

Biden could have done a bit more, in that, he left a bevy of softballs hanging, as Palin sprouted the distortions and lies (like, a few times, bragging how Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain "suspended" his campaign, to work on the Wall Street Heist - wink, wink).

(Yet, he also towered over Palin, with a good story from his early days in the Senate, and, near the very end, choking up some, when talking about his days and a single day, and his children, following the terrible car accident that killed his first wife, and daughter.)

Remarkably, Palin didn't push back.

She let Biden, for nearly the entire 90-minutes, whack McCain like a piñata, without much of a counter attack.

Including, near the end, when Biden slapped down, spit on, and ground with his heel, McCain's self-styled "Maverick" legend.

Head slap!

Of course, it was that way ... It wasn't one of the canned notes that she set to memory!

The Jaw Dropper

Any previous references that Palin was similar to Darth Vader/Dick Cheney, those people were vindicated.

In a question about the Vice President's office, how they would work it, Palin, astoundingly, made some bizarre reference to the Constitution, and stated that she would like to see the powers of the office INCREASED, as to how it relates to the Senate and what that power would give legislatively


She wants more power than Cheney!

That's pretty ballsy, and I only hope the Obama Campaign has already produced an ad, a commercial, a two-hour-movie on that.

After the past 7.5-years, all that has come out how Cheney, almost single-handly (well, with The Scooter, David Addington and John Yoo riding shotgun), has dragged this country down, and Palin comes out with an idea, that, if elected, she wants more power than he ever had.


The Take

Well, on the upside for the Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain Camp, her head didn't explode, and she didn't get ushered off the stage, babbling incoherently.

The Rove Rats can burn those lists, of the midnight calls they were going to have to make, to see who they could get to take over on the ticket.

She did well enough to live another day (and she did make a comment of not speaking "through a filter" again, talking directly to "the people", which translates that she will continue to be shielded from the media), the base, along with the Right Wing Freak Show are popping champagne bottles, and will be crowing that she won (on MSNBC, early polling suggests Biden won, with both Palin and Biden doing well with the numbers, suggesting, perhaps, it was more of a draw).

And, Palin introduced, for this year, anyway, the debate tactic of ignoring the question posed by the moderator, raise your own question and then, energetically answer your own question.

Suffice it to say, both accomplished what they needed to this evening.

However, it still looks, from tonight, back to when she was first announced, that Palin is some kind of "Make A Wish" kid, who's desire was to go through a political campaign.

Or, perhaps, the geeky junior high school civics student, who gets to go to the State House and "run the government" for the day.

Palin has a detached, cartoonish way about her, though, that she can spout her lines and speeches, there's an emptiness to it, that all she is doing is reciting lines, sans any commitment or belief.

Question is, does the Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain Campaign have the stamina to keep producing all those cans for her?

Palin Defeats Dewey!

Or was it Truman?

Or will she have a"I'll Try To Find You Some, and Bring'em To Ya ..."

We're just a few hours away from THE BIG DEBATE, and it's a cross between Christmas Eve and gawking at a horrible car accident.

In case you haven't been paying attention, or, you've been preoccupied with the on-going, slow-motion robbery of the country, via the Wall Street Bailout (since when do you call handing over billions of dollars to fat cats who already have billions of dollars a "rescue"), Sarah Palin, the Wasilla Whiz, has, for all intents-and-purposes, won the debate this evening.

How so, we hear you cry?

Well, simply that the debate moderator Gwen Ifill is in the bag for Barack Obama, and the Democrats, by way of writing a book - that isn't being published until January 2009 - and will slant all the questions, give Joe Biden a pass, and really apply the screws to Palin.

At least, that's the meme building up the past few days, from Michelle "Stalkin" Malkin, Matt Sludge and all the other Right Wing Freak Show flying monkeys.

Even Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, that is, at the moment.

Yesterday, he was cool with Ifill, today, she's a thug who will work over Palin and leave her inches away from death, totally sandbagging the debate for her.

You won't be able to trust Ifill, not even her saying "Welcome, and Good Evening".

Who is she welcoming? ... Who is going to have the good evening? ...Did she look at Palin when she said it, or Biden?

You see, this will be just one of the few times the Rove Rats have let Mommy Moose out of the gulag, to face real, non-McCain-staff people, and these "outsiders" keep insisting on asking America's Hockey Mom pertinent questions, queries that one would expect a person seeking national office to have a handle on, to be able to articulate an answer that doesn't sound like someone who takes pride in being clueless..

So, we'll see which Sarah Palin shows up tonight.

Will it be the newly-minted "Let Palin Be Palin"?

Will it be the deer-in-the-headlights, Katie Couric-interview Sarah Palin?

Oh, sure, we'll get a good dose of obfuscation, the continuation of the McCain-Palin serial lies, some cheap shots at Biden and Obama, but what else will she put on the table?

Perhaps the most anticipated intrigue will be if she emulates her running mate, and refuses to look at Joe Biden for the entire evening.

Or, maybe, just maybe, she'll say she can see the famous St. Louis Gateway Arch from her hotel room, which, I guess, by implication, makes her an expert on domestic policy.

Bonus Palin Wins! Riffs

David Kurtz - McCain Camp to Ifill: Go Easy on Palin

Alex Koppelman - Shock: Conservatives preemptively claiming bias

Gwen Ifill PBS Chief Political Correspondent and Gwen Ifill President, Ifill Center for Media Ethics and Gwen Ifill Editor, BarackBeat Fanzine: Ifill Ethics Commission Clears Ifill

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Sarah Palin Is Preparing For Debate Outdoors

Debate Results ... The Flintstones vs. The Jetsons

This Date ... On The Garlic

2 October 2007... On The Garlic

"They will have flies walking across their eyeballs"

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard On First Day of Supreme Court

2 October 2006... On The Garlic

Vote For Who Is The Worst U.S. President

Help Me Mister Wizard! The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

2 October 2005... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Court Jesters

"The Palin was with Couric in the campaign that's she's draggin, while the vessel with the Maverick doesn't have a clue that they're through"
Oh Boy!

Bad Day at Black Rock, times about 100,000!

First, there was Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain, sitting down with the editorial board of the Des Moines Register, which raised questions of that alone, of what he was doing in Iowa, when Barack Obama has about a 10+ point lead.

During the interview (you can watch it here), Fly Boy threw out some gems;

That he has a desire to be a dictator
"MCCAIN: I just want to make a comment about the obvious issue and that is the failure of Congress to act yesterday. Its just not acceptable. […] This is just a not acceptable situation. I’m not saying this is the perfect answer. If I were dictator, which I always aspire to be, I would write it a little bit differently."
Testily, defended Mommy Moose
"So, with due respect, I strongly disagree with your premise that she doesn't have experience and knowledge and background." McCain added that Palin has "been a member of the PTA, been a governor, been a mayor." Then, seeming to realize that he'd lost his cool somewhat, McCain said, "I'll stop there." He went on anyway, however, concluding, "But you and I just have a fundamental disagreement and I'm so happy that the American people seem to be siding with me."
Then, Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny jumps on over to NPR (go here to listen, or read the transcript);

He goes way overboard on defending Mommy Moose;
NPR: Given what you've said Senator, is there an occasion where you could imagine turning to Governor Palin for advice in a foreign policy crisis.

MCCAIN: I've turned to her advice many times in the past, I can't imagine turning to Senator Obama or Senator Biden cuz they've been wrong, they were wrong about Iraq, wrong about Russia...

NPR: But would you turn to Governor Palin?

MCCAIN: I certainly wouldn't turn to them, and I've already turned to Governor Palin particularly on energy issues and I've appreciated her background and knowledge on that and many other issues.

NPR: Does her energy qualification extend to the international energy market?

MCCAIN: Of course. Of course. That's what it's all about. It extends to a broad variety of issues from her worldview to threats that we face, to radical Islamic extremism, to specific areas of the world. I'm very proud of her, and proud of the knowledge and background that she has.
Yeah, you read it right ... "I've turned to her advice many times in the past"

He's only known her for about three-minutes, so it would be real nice for some reporter to follow-up on just when in the past, how long ago did he turn to the Wasilla Whiz for council, and just what was that council.

It, surely, couldn't be anything to do the with Supreme Court.

Go well far past, really tremendously far above her choosing "I'll Try To Find You Some, and Bring'em To Ya ...", the Governor of Alaska went back for another dip in the Katie Couric pool.

Actually, it was a Couric report in which she asked both Vice Presidential candidates the same set of questions (watch it here).

Biden, of course, aced his.


Well, you watch it and then see if you come up with the same, or similar words.

Sarah Palin can't name one Supreme Court case

She couldn't, or didn't (for what reason, only God knows), name a single Supreme Court decision.

How's about, considering where we are today, Gore v. Bush?

Or, as Keith Olbermann pointed out, something in her own backyard, and in which she spoke out against, Exxon v. Baker, which reduced the damage award to Alaska fisherman from the Exxon Valdez disaster.


Utterly, and truly, embarrassing.

The Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain Campaign has become, fully and completely, a joke.

On one level, they are getting all they deserve, for the cynical political ploy of choosing Mommy Moose, and then not vetting her.

Just from the get-go, what does it say about Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny's integrity and judgment to chose a running mate that is already mired in an Ethics Scandal?

Hilzoy sums it up, rather succinctly;
At the end of the day, though, the story isn't Palin's ignorance, or the fact that she is manifestly not prepared to be President. It's McCain's shocking recklessness in nominating her in the first place.

No one who put country first would have done that.
Stumblin Bumblin' Johnny is going to need a weeks' worth of POW-POW-POW excuses.

Or, maybe, it's time for the RNC to think about making this an epic, truly, supremely, historic election - They shut down the McCain operation, out of the decency of not insulting the country (and world) any longer with the charade of having a legitimate candidate, leaving Obama to run, virtually unopposed.

Too bad he passed on.

Considering the hijinx of Sarah Palin, Danny Kaye could have, just as easily, filled the role

The Court Jester - The Pellet With The Poison

Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin', and Just Plain Falling Down Riffs

Jon Perr: McCain Echoes Bush on the Joys of Dictatorship

Editor and Publisher: McCain vs. 'Des Moines Register'


David Corn: On NPR, McCain Exaggerates Past Relationship with Palin

Top Ten Cloves: Ways John McCain Isn't Like Herbert Hoover

McCain Admits He's "Divorced from day-to-day challenges people have"

Good Post Alert: Leaked Memo of McCain Camp's Future Hail Marys (satire)

Brad Johnson, over on at Largely, has a great post up, most hysterical, that you should check out.

Since Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, and his trusty sidekick, Mommy Moose, just keep those hits coming, and coming, and coming, Brad's piece is spot-on.

Leaked Memo of McCain Camp's Future Hail Marys (satire)

Here's a few snips of it;

Tactic: If reporter brings up the Keating Five, McCain says, "I love Dave Brubeck." If reporter replies, "Dave Brubeck?" McCain responds, "Are you saying you don't like Jazz? Jazz was created in America. Why do you hate America?"

Strategy: Internal polls show most Americans think the Keating Five was a successful late '50s/early '60s jazz band
Tactic: In addition to claiming McCain invented the Blackberry, assert that he also invented the wheel, sliced bread, fire, the missionary position, whiskey, apple pie, sliders, cleavage, Beanie Babies, oxygen, blow jobs, sunlight, bikinis, pasteurization, nuggies, the handshake, ice cream, poll dancing, Penicillin, the wave, hot dogs, the Theory of Relativity, beer nuts, New Journalism, indoor plumbing, low-rise jeans, Method Acting, rap, Twister, funnel cake, the printing press, soft pretzels, the phrase "dude," the color blue, moving pictures, "bringing sexy back," nougat, and baseball.

Strategy: Highlights McCain's superior record of accomplishment. Bonus: no time left in the campaign season for media to fact-check effectively.

Check out Leaked Memo of McCain Camp's Future Hail Marys (satire)

Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny Riffs

Well, It Depends On Your Definition of Crisis ...

Top Ten Cloves: Ways John McCain Isn't Like Herbert Hoover

McCain Admits He's "Divorced from day-to-day challenges people have"

We Told You He Was Just Like Bob Dole

McCain VP Confusion; Staff Had Canadian Actress Sarah Polley In Dayton Hotel For Three Days

This Date ... On The Garlic

1 October 2007 ... On The Garlic

Retro Garlic - Life Imitating Satire ... Again ... Iran Study Group

Another "I'm Shocked ... Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here" Moment ...

1 October 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Sarah Palin Is Preparing For Debate Outdoors

News Item: Palin Seeks Serenity in Sedona

10. Just trying to keep Tina Fey off-balance

9. Told Palin they were filming new campaign ad, based on cellphone commercial and all she has to say is "Can you hear me now?"

8. Palin insisted, saying, that's the way they do it up in Alaska

7. Well ... How to put this delicately ... They all had Mexican for lunch

6. Palin wanted to get in a little game shooting at the same time

5. McCain Camp planning on phoning in bomb threat, so Biden and Palin will have to finish debate outside

4. Since McCain can't sit in sun, only place they could do it without him interrupting and answering for her

3. McCain Camp economizing, saving money to run more negative ads

2. Protest - McCain isn't giving her the per diems, like she was getting up in Alaska

1. No one told Palin that McCain has lifted the suspension of the campaign

Bonus Up-A-Creek Palin-McCain Riffs

Oliver Willis: McCain Camp Looks For Palin Do-Over

Taegan Goddard: Palin's Joke About Biden Backfires

Ta-Nehisi Coates: I'm outta here soon as I fix the the flux-capacitor

David Kurtz: I'm McCain Camp to Ifill: Go Easy on Palin

"I'll Try To Find You Some, and Bring'em To Ya ..."

Well ... In Her Defense, She Can't See Hewlett Packard From Alaska

Ring of Lying - The New McCain-Palin Campaign Theme Song

This Date ... On The Garlic

30 September 2007... On The Garlic

Must Read! Barry Crimmins: Time's up for Thomas L. Freepass

Good (Belated) Post Alert: The Day Louis Armstrong Made Noise

Chopped Garlic: Tinfoil Hats, or Canaries In The Proverbial War Zone?

"For The Debate, Mr. Russert, Will You Be Wearing A Suit, Or The Brown Shirt And Jack Boots?"

Juan Williams: The Long, Hard Climb Back

30 September 2005... On The Garlic

DeLay's Wife Demands To Speak With President; Wants Answers But Not Sure Where To Camp Out - D.C., Crawford or Hurricane Region?

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Scooter Libby Gave Judith Miller Okay To Reveal Source and Testify

Monday, September 29, 2008

Cry Baby

Janis Joplin - Cry Baby (live in toronto 1970)

Among the things needed asap, is for Tom Hanks to march down into the well of the House, address John Boehner, Eric Kantor and the rest of the Reekin' Republicans and advise them, forcefully, that "There's no cryin' in Congress!"

They aided and abetted the Bush Grindhouse in creating this mess, and now they cower from a few harsh words from Nancy "Off The Table" Pelosi?

What a freakin' joke ...

Ari: Caucus of Cry Babies

David Kurtz: That Mean, Nasty Nancy Pelosi

Think Progress - Rep. Frank On GOP: ‘Because Somebody Hurt Their Feelings, They Decide To Punish The Country’

SilentPatriot: Shorter House GOP: We killed the bailout bill because Pelosi hurt our feelings

Josh Marshall: Comic Relief


David Kurtz: It Hurt Their Feelings?

And, in the "Wait, There's More" Department, Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain, you know, who suspended (wink, wink) his campaign to save America (and was boasting about it this morning, before the doomed vote), is blaming it on, you guessed it, Barack Obama.

This Date ... On The Garlic

29 September 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News! President’s Staunch Iraqi Progress Claims Based On Pentagon PR Firm Reports; Second Woodward Bombshell: Holds Back Postscript, Claims Cheney, Rumsfeld Feeding President Lincoln Group Writings; Pentagon PR Firm Reports Masked, As If From Spy Agencies For PDB’s, Other Meetings With President

Top Ten Cloves: Ways White House Will Spin The Over 400 Visits From Convicted Lobbyist Jack Abramoff

29 September 2005... On The Garlic

RNC, Congress Planning 'Support Our Majority Leader' Rally For DeLay; Music, Speakers and Celebes Slated For K Street Parade; President To Attend If Not In Gulf Region Again

New White House Riff As First Lady Forced To Visit Hurricane Zone; Staff Complains To Card, Rove; First Lady Upset With New Relief Role

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard In The Senate Before The John Roberts Vote Today

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons John McCain Didn't Look At Barack Obama During Debate

News Item: Seems everyone noticed McCain's sneers, anger and contempt

10. There was, just off to his right, a really hot-looking redhead in the third row he couldn’t stop looking at

9. It was a signal to House Republicans, to stay firm in their opposition to the Bailout Bill

8. Actually, it was part of the training for Sarah Palin, for her debate preparation

7. He's such a conservative now, he can't even bring himself to glance to the left

6. Just something a true maverick does

5. Because he hadn't officially unsuspended his campaign yet

4. Not something they covered in his own debate preparation

3. AP's Liz Sidoti promised him a box of donuts (with sprinkles) if he would diss Obama during the debate

2. His gambling habit - Bet a friend $10,000 he could go entire debate without looking at Obama

1. Got confused - Was thinking about Rick Warren's "Cone of Silence", and thought Jim Leher put up a "Cone of Blindness"

Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin' Debate Riffs

Joan Walsh: Cranky vs. cool

Tom Shales: McCain's High Horse Meets Obama's High-Mindedness

Attytood: McCain doesn't like Ike facts


Well, It Depends On Your Definition of Crisis ...

Top Ten Cloves: Ways John McCain Isn't Like Herbert Hoover

Debate Results ... The Flintstones vs. The Jetsons

This Date ... On The Garlic

28 September 2007... On The Garlic

Breaking News! GM Cancels UAW In Favor of Adopting Huffington Post Business Model; Celebrities, Auto Enthusiasts and Bloggers To Build Cars For Free; Huge Spike In Profits Forecast

Garlic Exclusive! Congressional Strategy On Dealing With Bush Exposed By Salon Comic!

28 September 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things About NY Post’s Page Six and Paula Froelich Making Fun of Keith Olbermann’s Death Threat

28 September 2005... On The Garlic

BROWN BOMBSHELL! - FEMA USED CRYSTAL METH TO AID EVACUATION; Not Sure How Many Used Drug; Says It "Breaks Down Dysfunction"

White House Backtracks To Include '24' President; Haysbert Hastily Invited To Talks; Card Says 'Thought He Was The 'Good Hands' Guy

Top Ten Cloves: Ways The White House Plans On Conserving Energy