News Item: US Supreme Court starts new term
10. We might have to do something this term ... I think, while we were on vacation, the NSA was tapping my phone
9. Hey, even if we don't have a case in front of us, can we rule against Hillary Clinton, and ban her from using that laugh?
8. Should we leave room on the calendar for Britney Spears? ... I mean, if she comes in here not wearing any panties, she's got my vote
7. Anybody check the news? The President didn't declare any of us dead, like he did with Mandela, did he?
6. Hey, let's fuck with the Congress this year ... We don't reach any decisions... We just issue, non-binding "Senses of the Supreme Court"
5. If Roberts has another one of his seizures, and, God-forbid, anything happens, I got dibs on his office
4. If we get the Isiah Thomas case, I think Clarence, and Ruth, should recuse themselves ... Just to play it safe
3. That was a nice touch by the Chief Justice ... Giving us all Welcome Back gifts ... Bongs in the shape of a gavel
2. I just heard their replacing our Secret Service details with Blackwater guys
1. No Clarence, even with the discount, I don't want to buy your book
Bonus Nine-In-Black Riffs
White House Stresses Roberts' Wife "Not A CIA Agent"; No Knowledge of WMD's; No Plans To Send Husband To Niger
Congress Getting "Weary" Of Roberts' Visits; Senators Feeling Stalked; Roberts Relentlessly Using Meet-and-Greets To Boast Chances
Scalia: "No Pink Robes Needed Here"; Conservative Justice Reacts To Roberts Disclosure On Gay Rights Case; Justice Roberts Sunday In The Making