Tuesday 15 March 2005

First Lady Heads Jingoism Festival
Jeep Owners Mandated To Learn Song

Believing that most Americans do not know the words to 'The Star-Spangled Banner', our national anthem, First Lady Laura Bush is out to teach them.

Mrs. Laura Bush is the Honorary Chairperson of the "National Anthem Project: Restoring America's Voice", an intiative of the MENC: National Association for Music Education and is being sponsored by Jeep.

The project kicked off last week (March 10th) and included performances from school age children and adults, as well as the Oak Ridge Boys and the 'President's Own' U.S. Marine Band. A larger concert is planned, with some six-million children, teachers and music supporters participating, performing American patriotic and popular songs and will be broadcast around the country on PBS, and the Armed Forces Network.

As to the national sponsorship by Jeep, Dieter Zetsche, President and Chief Executive Officer of the Chrysler Group offered;

"Few brands symbolize freedom and patriotism like the Jeep brand …"

The First Lady stated owning a Jeep " … was a fabulous way to see our great country …" and that all Jeep owners will be mandated to learn the song. She hopes her husband, President Bush, will write legislation that will extend this to all automobile owners.

As an element of their sponsorship, Jeep insisted on language in the contract that bars Rosanne Barr from singing the National Anthem at any Jeep-sponsored event.


Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal
of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids
Drops Bombshell In Break From Tradition Established in 1934

General Mills anounced that they have come to terms with Major League Baseball to have their Wheaties, The Breakfast of Champions, become the 'Official Breakfast Cereal" of the league.

And, in a bombshell, an unprecidented break from tradition, for the first time since 1934, when Lou Gerhig appeared on the cereal box, Wheaties will feature a steroid pill and needle. It's unclear if the featured items are from Balco, or a generic brand of steroids.

Numerous baseball stars have endorsed the cereal, including Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Lefty Grove, Mel Ott, Bob Feller, Ted Williams, Hank Greenberg, Stan Musial, Jackie Robinson, Roy Campanella, Pee Wee Reese, Warren Spahn, Yogi Berra, Mickey Mantle, Johnny Bench, Hank Aaron, Cal Ripken, Jr. and Joe Torre.

Additionally, of the 51 players selected for the 1939 Major League Baseball All-Star Game, 46 endorsed Wheaties. Wheaties also sponsored the first televised commercial sports broadcast on August 29, 1939, when NBC presented a Cincinnati Reds vs. Brooklyn Dodgers broadcast for some 500 television owners in New York City.

"We’re excited about the winning moments that our Wheaties - MLB partnership will bring" said Eric Lucas, Vice President of Marketing for General Mills’ Big G Cereals. "We've always featured the dominant star and this year, it is undoubtedly, steroids".

Lucas, as well as Tim Brosnan, Executive Vice President, Business, Major League Baseball, offered no comment on the impact of the upcoming Congressional hearings on steroids use in baseball and left the door open that a future Wheaties box could have a Congressman on it


Bush Appointment Has Mid-East Fearful With New Hughes Role

The Arab League stated a muted, and very cautious tone in reacting to the announcement of former Bush Aide Karen Hughes' new position of Undersecretary of State for Public Diplomacy. Hughes will be responsible for crafting Mid-East policies and changing the area's perceptions about the United States. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice made the announcement yesterday.

Hughes, a former counselor to President Bush from 2000-2002, also had a major role in shaping Bush's domestic agenda, as well as having her imprint on a number of foreign policy initiatives. Hughes left the administration to move back to Texas.

Some Arab League members are skeptical about the appointment, speculating that there'll be a continuation of false or doctored intelligence and a new call of Weapons of Mass Destruction in the next country the Bush Administration chooses to invade.

There's even confusion if the appointment is true, or if it's an endeavor of the disinformation program started by Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld two-years ago.

'When America starts talking about planting the seeds of democracy", offered one Arab League official, "that's usually our sign to start building our bomb shelters".