Monday 14 March 2005

Disney Picks Iger but Eisner Says He Won't Go; Digging In For Fight

The Walt Disney Co. announced yesterday that President Robet Iger will succeed Micheal Eisner as its' Chief Executive, but, in a separate release, Eisner declared that he's not leaving.

A combative Eisner indicated "…they can't push me out…" and is taking steps to cement his post.

For month's, Eisner has been solidifying his Disney stock holdings and Eisner called for an emergency meeting of the Disney board to vote immediately on changing the name of the company to The Michael Eisner Co.

"I built Disney to what it is today", offered Eisner. "If it wasn't for me, that little (#X&&!) mouse would be chasing his tail - in black-and-white".

The appoinment of Iger, who's served as President for the past five-years, ends Eisner's stormy and tumultuous two-decade reign. It was scheduled for Eisner to depart next year and insiders are speculating that moving Iger in early is an attempt to block Eisner from seizing the company.

Under Eisner, Disney has grown to over 100,000 employees, has a global network of theme parks, the vaunted Disney film library and expanded into televison, gobbling up ESPN and the ABC Network.

There's also been its' share of chaos as the doings and bombast of Eisner have become Hollywood legend, including the very public spat with Roy Disney, brother of founder Walt, and with the particularly revealing and embarassing lawsuit over the hiring and firing of former Disney President, Michael Ovitz.

Unconfirmed reports have Eisner rushing into production, remakes of the Disney classics, 'Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs' and 'Sleeping Beauty', with the dwarves and the Prince being drawn in Eisner's likeness.

Additionally, ABC will launch a news and entertainment magzine show, devoted soley to Eisner's work and career. Reportedly, ABC executives are deriding the project as 'Must Like Mike TV'.

"This (#X&&!) kid is staying in the (#X&&!) picture", boasted Eisner.

Rose Cashes In On Steroid Scandel

ESPN is reporting that former Cincinnati Red's great Pete Rose, baseball's exiled hero, is said to have cashed in for millions, on a bet that the steroid scandal would surface before the 2005 season and players and management would be called before Congress to testify.

Rose, banned from baseball for betting on games, including his own team when he managed the Reds, placed the bet four years ago at an undisclosed Las Vegas casino. Odds were given on when the steroid scandal would break and Rose took the extra step of adding on the rider, at 5-1 odds, as to the call before Congress.

One source with knowledge of the bet indicated that Rose "laid down a lot of green".

Rose, and Major League Baseball officials could not be reached for comment.


Youths Nabbed In Corporate Icon Hit
MSN Butterfly, Geiko Tortured; Had Long List of Targets

Local and federal authorities have taken into custody two Stockton, California teenagers, after what reports indicate, a murdureous rampage against corporate icons.

Microsoft's MSN Butterfly, and Geico's Geiko were brutally attacked and tortured, according to police. And, found on one of the juvenilles' computer was a long list of other targets the youths were alledgedly going after. The names of the youths, or their alledged targets were not released, as the FBI indicated it is still an active crime scene and investigation.

Microsoft released a statement, indicating only that the MSN Butterfly was in "serious and guarded condition". Geico refused comment and unconfirmed reports have that the geiko died after furious life-saving measures were taken. Once source indicated that it appeared the geiko's natural camouflage abilities failed him during the attack.

Little is known about the two teens, or why they launched what authorities describe as 'brutal and heinous acts' against innocent icons.

A local Stockton newspaper is reporting on their website that as one of the youths was being taken into police headquarters for questioning, he shouted to the throng of media;

"They kept asking us where we wanted to go today … So, we showed'em …"