Monday, March 14, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Excuses Baseball Will Use To Avoid Testifying To Congress

10. Have a note from Abner Doubleday saying they don't have to answer to anyone

9. Demanding waiver to play Fungo in Capital Rotunda

8. Need more time to see how they can spin this into something the fans will pay money for

7. Waiting to hear back from Congress if Curt Schilling can wear his bloody sock at hearings

6. Threaten to counter and call their own hearings on Ted Kennedy's drinking

5. Negotiating that, in middle of hearings, panel will get up and do The Wave

4. Trying to line-up Alex Rodriguez to run through Congress and knock papers out of Chairman's hands

3. Hey, did you know that congressman can get into any Major League Baseball game for free?

2. Lobbying President Bush to add to bill Private Steroid Accounts

1. Players can't sit for long periods; Asses hurt from getting steroid shots

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