10. President Bush orders the NSA to only wiretap people with the name of Green or Greene
9. Staff has to sit through recital of Condi Rice Irish Step Dancing and act excited about it
7. Bush pranks Irish President Mary McAleese, saying he has evidence they’re tied to Al Qaeda and will use new preemptive war doctrine to invade country
6. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield doesn’t get joke and has to be stopped from deploying “Operation O’Swarmer"
5. Symbolic signing of new bill, “No Leprechaun Left Behind”
3. Bush says he’ll approve Dubai Ports World selling port contract to American branch of Sinn Fein
2. Has Secret Service bring stripper Mary Carey to White House, wearing a “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” button
1. Vice President Cheney barges into Oval Office, drunk, and with his 12-gauge, shouting “Who wants to go hunt some corned beef and cabbage with me?"