Friday 12 August 2005

Santorum Blames Boston Liberalism For St. Patrick's Msgr. Affair

Says Clark "Influenced" By Beantown Decadence; Also Tags "Hillary's Hand Mixed In This"

Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) weighed-in last evening on the latest news shocking the New York Archdiocese - that St. Patrick's Cathedral, Msgr. Eugene V. Clark resigned yesterday over charges that he conducted a sexual affair with his personal secretary, a married woman who is 33-years younger than Clark.

"I think it is pretty clear," said Santorum, author of 'It Takes A Family', "that the Monsignor was influenced by the liberals in Boston.

Santorum drew fire last month, after comments he made three-years ago, tying Boston's "liberalism" with the Roman Catholic Church pedophile scandal, resurfaced. When given the opportunity to clarify the remarks, Santorum defended them, and added to them, citing the Boston Red Sox World Series win last year as "yet another sign of Boston's liberal decadence."

"Look, for one, there's a lot of Kennedy's in New York and they worship at St. Patrick's. So there's a clear line right there."

The scandal broke on Monday, when Philip DeFilippo, who is married to Monsignor Clark's secretary, Laura DeFilippo, filed for divorce. In his court papers, DeFilippo alleges that his wife, who worked for Monsignor Clark for more than 25-years, and Clark had the affair.

The New York media since then, has run photos and videotape showing Mrs. DeFilippo and Monsignor Clark entering a Hamptons motel last month, and walking out five-hours later, both wearing different clothing then when they had entered.

William Donohue, the president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, defended Clark, saying that "the same people that want to tear down the Monsignor are the same people who helped murder Terri Schiavo."

Monsignor Clark is the second prominent official of the archdiocese to step down in recent years over allegations of sexual misbehavior. In 2002, James F. McCarthy, an auxiliary bishop in charge of northern Westchester, Rockland and Putnam Counties, resigned after admitting that he had had sexual affairs with several women.

Santorum also placed blame for the scandal with Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY).

"It seems alittle too coincidental that, in the week Hillary sees a strong candidate challenge her for her seat, we have this happen."

Santorum was referring to Jeanine Pirro, who announced earlier this week that she is seeking the Republican nomination for Senate. Pirro faces a primary race, against Nixon son-in-law, Edward Cox.

Pirro has intended to comment on the St. Patrick's sex scandal. At the press conference called by Pirro, Pirro made a opening statement but then fumbled with and shuffled papers around on the podium, making it apparent that she could not find her remarks.

After 10-minutes, most of the media left.



"What's that you're saying? Someone is camped out on my property? ... I'll have to look into that ..."










Rumsfield Lays Out More Details For Sept 11th Bash

Says Festivities For "All Ages"; New Iraqi President Named Honorary Grand Marshall

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfield laid out more details for the 'America Supports You Freedom Walk', sponsored by the Department of Defense, that will take place in Washington D.C. on September 11th, to commemorate the fourth anniversary of the terrorist attacks.

"Oh, goodness, this just keeps getting better and better." beamed Rumsfield.

Rumsfield has already released that country singer, Clint Black, will perform in concert at the end of the walk, on the National Mall.

Rumsfield announced first that new Iraqi President Jalal Talabani will serve as the honorary Grand Marshall of the event.

"Let's not forget, they're a big part of the freedom picture."

Rumsfield went on to detail that the Walk will include giant "Macy's-type" floats, of President Bush, Vice President Cheney, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Rumsfield.

"Well, if you have any 'big head' jokes, now's the time to use them," chided the Secretary.

Rumsfield said that there will be a "dunking tank" and that they will have real, enemy combatants tied to them, flown up from the Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp for the day.

"We have signed waivers from these terrorists so there's no abuse story here."

There'll be a replica of an Iraqi village built, and both adults and children will be able to ride armor-less Humvees and hunt for Weapons of Mass Destruction. Rumsfield offered that there will be prizes awarded to the person who finds the most - or any - WMD's.

Balloon artists will be tying balloons in the images of Administration officials for children and, to entertain their parents, there'll be contests to guess which official said which reason we are fighting in Iraqi.

Rumsfield also stated that it is not clear if President Bush will be attending and participating in the festivities.

After announcing the event, Government officials warned that the President has used up his vacation time and won't be able to take the day off. Rumsfield offered that talks are still on-going with the Inspector Generals of Labor and Justice to see if a comprise can be worked out.

Though September 11th this year falls on a Sunday, technically, the President is still on-duty.

Rumsfield indicated the talks are centered on the President making up the time by working late two-hours, per-day for that week and taking off Sunday as 'comp time'.