Yes, Virginia, There Is A Real Virginia ...

Uhhh...what did she just say?? Miss Teen South Carolina 2007



Oh! ... I'm sorry, I meant to post this video;

McCain advisor on the "real Virginia"



What is with these people?

Is it in the water they drink? ... The air quality at the Dead Campaign Express HQ? ... Are they working from a "How-To-Run-A-Presidential-Campaign-for-Dummies"?

I happened to be watching MSNBC when this interview occurred, and it was a jawdropper.

McKKKain flak Nancy Puss'n'Boots actually dismissed Northern Virginia, pointed to the "southern part" as the "real Virginia" and then, when given the opportunity to correct herself, reiterated it!

From Joe Sudbay, over at Americablog.com;

Here's the transcript:

KEVIN CORKE: Okay. You’re talking about winning this year, but that's going to require that you win states like – well, like Virginia, for example. And as someone who is now in northern Virginia, we're both right here, we get it. Northern Virginia is increasingly strong in the state. They have more political clout. Democrats have won the statehouse; Jim Webb’s surprising victory in the Senate. It would seem to me that there could be a tipping of the balance there. Would you agree with that? And that maybe be – you know, maybe that's where he has to focus his energy now.

NANCY PFOTENHAUER: Well, Kevin, I certainly agree that northern Virginia has gone more Democratic. You know, as a proud resident of Oakton, Virginia, I can tell you that the Democrats have just come in from the District of Columbia and moved into northern Virginia. And that's really what you see there. But the rest of the state, real Virginia, if you will, I think will be very responsive to Senator McCain’s message. And remember that, you know, you’ve got places in other states like northern Wisconsin, the iron range of Minnesota, south-central and southeastern Pennsylvania, the St. Louis suburbs and the rural areas of Missouri that are very responsive to our message. And again we're taking it to them in Pennsylvania and New Hampshire. He’s having to fight to defend there, as you can tell because he's deployed people like the Clintons out in Pennsylvania. And every speech Joe Biden gives, he says, “I’m from Scranton.” You don't know what else he's going to say, but he sure gets that line in.

CORKE: Hey Nancy, I’m going to give you a chance to climb back off that ledge. Did you say "real Virginia"?

PFOTENHAUER: I did say outside of north – well, I mean real Virginia, because northern Virginia is where I’ve always been, but real Virginia I take to be the – this part of the state that is more southern in nature, if you will. Northern Virginia is really metro D.C., as you're aware, Kevin.

CORKE: All right. I’m just going to let you -- you’re aware of that one. I’m just saying.

Amazing!

This comes within the 36-48-hour window of The Wasilla Whiz Kid shooting out code at one of her mob rallies, indicating how she likes to travel to the pro-American parts of the country (versus, by implication, those pallin'-with-terrorists, Anti-American parts of the country), and, of course, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann's "flush'em-out-call-to-arms" of bringing back McCarthyism and purging Congress of those with Anti-American thoughts.

Now, we know that Stumblin' Bumblin' Fly Boy has no capacity for pulling up Google, or using a computer, but does it extend to the entire staff?

Being in, and/or, talking about Virginia?

What happened in Virginia, just a short two-years ago?

Here's Lowell, from Raising Kane, if Puss'n'Boots wanted to go to a lifeline;

My god, how stupid can these McCain people be? First, they call Arlington and Alexandria "communist country." Then, Sarah Palin talks about how only the rural, "small town" (like Wasilla?) parts of America are "pro-America." Now, McCain spokeswoman Nancy Pfotenhauer channels George Allen's "macaca" moment, when among other things he welcomed S.R. Sidarth - a lifelong resident of Fairfax County - to "America and the real world of Virginia."

And, as Steve Benen points out;

Hmm. Virginia is a key swing state, with 13 electoral votes, and recent polling showing Obama with a modest lead. The state's two most populous counties -- Fairfax and Prince William Counties -- are both in northern Virginia.

And the McCain campaign keeps insulting them.

If there's a clever angle to this strategy, it's hiding well.

They really must be strivin' for that Rovian Utopia, of a 50.1% - 49.9% mandate.


Bonus Nancy Puss'n'Boots Paw-in-Mouth Riffs

ABC News: McCain Adviser Says Northern Virginia Not "Real" Virginia

Think Progress: Pfotenhauer Insults Virginians: ‘Real Virginia’ Is Only Where McCain Is Winning

NPR: Nancy Pfotenhauer: McCain and the Faith Community

Crooks and Liars: Shuster refuses to be spun by Nancy Pfotenhauer

This Date ... On The Garlic

18 October 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Military Recruiters Didn't Realize They Were Recruiting Gays


18 October 2006... On The Garlic

Minced Garlic - Keith Olbermann New Special Comment On 'Beginning of the end of America'


18 October 2005... On The Garlic

Breaking News! - Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.

Top Ten Cloves: What Karl Rove May Do If He Is Indicted

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Gil Scott-Heron: The Revolution Will Not Be Televised



It will, in all likelihood, be Tivoed, YouTubed, Podcasted, iPhoned, and splattered all across the cable television spectrum.

Man, there be some strange, disturbing, frightening, and just crazy shit going down today.

Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain kicked it off, shouting out the clarion call the other night, during the debate;

We need to know the full extent of Sen. Obama's relationship with ACORN, who is now on the verge of maybe perpetrating one of the greatest frauds in voter history in this country, maybe destroying the fabric of democracy. The same front outfit organization that your campaign gave $832,000 for "lighting and site selection." So all of these things need to be examined, of course.

Quickly, the Republicans jumped on it, the FBI started investigating it, and, as sure as the debunked Maverick can say "William Ayers", or Mommy Moose "pallin' around with terrorists", ACORN offices were the hit with violence, some staff threatened.

But Wait!

BREAKING: Obama Campaign Calls For Investigation Into DOJ/McCain Collusion On ACORN Smears

POW! ...BAM! ... SMACK!

Obama taking on Rove, and the Republicans, head-to-head.

Check this out, Keith Olbermann interviewing Obama Campaign attorney, Bob Bauer;

Oct. 17: In a sort of counter-suit, the Obama campaign has requested that the Attorney General’s special prosecutor add to his review of fraud charges against ACORN a review of any involvement by Justice Department and the White House officials in supporting the McCain/Palin campaign and the RNC’s spreading of bogus fraud charges. Bob Bauer joins Countdown to explain the Democratic position.

And this, coming on the heels, earlier today of;

SUPREME COURT REJECTS GOP ARGUMENT ON OHIO

Ohio Republicans, spurred by a manufactured ACORN controversy, want state officials to compare the 666,000 newly registered voters against data collected by the state DMV. According to the Secretary of State's office, about 200,000 of the new voters show at least some kind of discrepancy -- out of nearly two dozen categories -- some as minor as the misspelling of a name.

The Supreme Court sided Friday with Ohio's top elections official in a dispute with the state Republican Party over voter registrations.

The justices overruled a federal appeals court that had ordered Ohio's top elections official to do more to help counties verify voter eligibility.

Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner, a Democrat, faced a deadline of Friday to set up a system to provide local officials with names of newly registered voters whose driver's license numbers or Social Security numbers on voter registration forms don't match records in other government databases.

I guess, the SJC has it in their heads not to get dirty on this one (or, they're sick of the RNC and their bullshit), a, kind of, "Fool us once, shame on you, fool us twice, shame on us".

Now, while all this is going on, the Dead Campaign Express is pumping out extremely toxic, smearing robo-calls, and Fly Boy, after blatantly exploiting that nitwit, Joe The Plumber, is out on the stump blaming Obama for all the media attention he's been sucking up, as well as the attending scorn (The Right Wing Freak Show, led by Michelle "Stalkin" Malkin, is adopting the phony plumber as this weeks' Freak Show hero).

But Wait, There's More ...

The Wasilla Whiz Kid keeps on truckin', expanding her Hate Speech to take a bigger swipe at everyone who isn't like her.

Palin: I Love To Visit "Pro-America" Parts Of Country

From The WAPO;

The upshot? The District is neither "real America" nor "pro-America." Other parts of the nation? It's unclear, but if you live in a small town, you're probably patriotic from Palin's point of view.

"We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. We believe" -- here the audience interrupted Palin with applause and cheers -- "We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation."

Joe Biden, almost immediately, offered some his experience to the former second-grader.

Oh, and by the way, it's been reported that the Secret Service is serving Mommy Moose, by assisting the Dead Campaign Express in keeping the Media from going out into the Flaming Masses at her Mob Rallies to interview any of the screamers.

Why don't they just be done with it.

The two minuscule mavericks can tattoo "William Ayers" on their foreheads, walking around wrapped in American Flags, and just cut the stump speeches down to "You're either with us, or against us".

Ah, but we save the best, for last ...

If we had a weekly award going on here at The Garlic, say, something like "Ignorant-Dolt-of-the-Week", than Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN), would win, hands down, running away with it, like Secretariat at the Belmont Stakes.

Appearing on Hardball, with Tweety this evening, she was wailing about - what else - William Ayers and Obama - but then, it got very, very interesting;

Bachmann Calls For McCarthy-Like Investigation Into Anti-American Activities Of Liberals

She then went further, suggesting that all liberal views — held by people such as Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, professors, and all Americans who identify themselves as “liberals” — are “anti-American.” When host Chris Matthews, stunned by her remarks, asked Bachmann how many people in Congress hold anti-American views, she responded, “You’ll have to ask them.”

Bachmann called on the media to conduct investigations into the anti-American activities of members of Congress, similar to Sen. Joseph McCarthy’s discredited House Un-American Activities Committee hearings in the 1950s. “I think people would love to see an exposé like that,” she claimed.

Here's the video of it.

Here's Katrina Vanden Heuvel, almost shaking, responding

There's a rallying cry for the RNC to ride up to November 4th;

Vote McKKKain and Palin - They'll bring back the the HUAC Hearings

"Donate, or turn in your neighbors!"

How far fetched?

Wasn't it at the Republic Convention that the Stumblin' Bumblin' Fly Boy, all red in the face, waving his fists, shouting';

"I will make them famous ... You will know their names ... You will know their names"

And I thought, with it being Friday, it was going to be a low key, cruisin', easy day.

Help Me Mr. Wizard!

Top Ten Cloves: Things John McCain Can Do To Get Over Embarrassment of Joe The Plumber

News Item: Over Joe

10. Beef up his credibility - Get the AP's Liz Sidoti to bring Joe The Plumber a box of donuts

9. Bring in Bobby Jindal, to do an exorcism on him

8. Stash him away in one of his seven houses

7. Finally, sit down with campaign staff and redo their vetting criteria

6. To get him away from media, see if he'll take a crack at McCain's Electric Car Battery contest

5. Assign Joe Lieberman to Joe The Plumber

4. Battle Stations - Peel off from the Palin Truth Squad a new team for the Joe The Plumber Truth Squad

3. Bite the bullet - Go out and do an all-day news conference on the difference between Shiites and Sunnis

2. Put a call out to Rick Warren, and have him ship that Cone of Silence to Ohio

1. Go Maverick with a major game changer - Replace Palin on ticket with ... Joe The Plumber!


Bonus Links

Barry Crimmins: Plumbing the Depths

Martin Lewis: Meet The Real Joe-The-Plumber!

The Jed Report: McCain's Lame October Surprise: Joe, The Right-Wing Loon

Todd Gitlin: Joe the Ringer?

Steve Benen: THEY WERE LAUGHING AT HIM, NOT WITH HIM...

For Joe The Plumber

Debate Results: Flintstones vs. Jetsons Pt. III

This Date ... On The Garlic

17 October 2006... On The Garlic

Vatican Discounts "Bonfire Pope"; Says Flames "Not Hunched Over Enough"; Late Pontiff's Bend Was Measured "Religiously"; Never Used Contingency "Roller Skate Gloves"

Top Ten Cloves: Things Michelle Malkin Will Do Now On Friday Evenings, Since She's Off The O'Reilly Factor

Extra! Extra! Barry Crimmins Nabs Hillary For Rare, Candid Interview!


17 October 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Some Of The Lobbying Techniques White House Is Using To Aid Guatemala Gaining U.N. Security Council Seat


17 October 2005... On The Garlic

Iraqis Pause Vote Count To Celebrate Chisox Pennant; Many Remember '59 Disappointment; Believe This Is The Year; Will Bring Team To Baghdad With Series Win

Top Ten Cloves: Things The Iraqi's Are Doing To Prepare Country For Democracy and Having A Constitution

For Joe The Plumber

His 15-minutes ...

Barack Obama And The Plumbing Business Owner

His 16th-minute, ad nauseum ...

Joe the Plumber Reacts to debate - Katie Couric Interview

Bonus Links

The Jed Report: McCain's Lame October Surprise: Joe, The Right-Wing Loon

Think Progress: Fact-Checking ‘Joe The Plumber’

A.J. Liebling: No Mo-Joe for McCain

BooMan: McCain Took an Ass-Whooping

SilentPatriot: Obama to McCain: "Your attacks say more about your campaign than they do about me"

Thers: The Plumber?

Debate Results: Flintstones vs. Jetsons Pt. III

Sad News ... Legendary Composer, Arranger Neal Hefti Passes Away

Shortly before last evening's debate, I descried various news articles and posts that gave me a heavy heart.

No, not that I would have to endure, yet, another debate (and, the angry Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain), but that one of my Jazz heroes died.

Neal Hefti, long associated with the Count Basie Band, Woody Herman's Thundering Herd, and a bevy of other greats.

From the NYT Obit;

Over the years, Hefti, first known as a jazz trumpeter in the 1940s and 1950s, was much admired and much in demand as an arranger, conductor and occasional record producer; he worked with Frank Sinatra, Doris Day, Mel Tormé and Tony Bennett, among others. He also led his own bands, and he was active as a player until 1960.

But his greatest sphere of influence was as an arranger and composer for other jazz artists. His early travels with jazz bands took him to New York, where he was mesmerized by the bebop playing of Dizzy Gillespie, and joined the Herman band — known as First Herd — in 1944. He was influential in moving that band from its swing roots in the direction of bebop.

"If it wasn't for Neal Hefti, the Basie band wouldn't sound as good as it does," Miles Davis said in 1955. "But Neal's band can't play those same arrangements nearly as well."

From The Times On-Line UK;

Away from the world of Hollywood Hefti will be remembered as the man who shaped the sound of the postwar Count Basie Orchestra, and who also produced dozens of skilful, well-crafted arrangements for Woody Herman and Harry James.

When Basie eventually re-formed his full orchestra, Hefti became one of his principal writers. The album The Atomic Basie remains the best work that the group did in the 1950s, playing entirely Hefti’s arrangements.

He had started writing for Harry James in the late 1940s, but in the 1950s Hefti furnished James with numerous compositions, designed to feature the leader’s trumpet and the band’s star drummer Buddy Rich.

Nevertheless, Hefti was by this time writing in a similar style to that which he used for Basie, giving rise to the apocryphal story that when the two bands met on a television show, Basie drily asked James: “Are you going to play our arrangements first, or are we?”

From The Independent (UK);

It is grotesque that Neal Hefti, one of jazz's greatest orchestrators, should be best remembered for a 12"x12" picture of an atomic bomb exploding. The album The Atomic Mr Basie (1957), for which Hefti wrote all the music, was an embarrassment for him and Count Basie, both in its title and the cover picture, but it made a fortune for them and for the record company and remains one of the most memorable big band albums of all time. Hefti's beautiful ballad "Li'l Darlin' " from that set stuck in the public's memory and the Basie band played it regularly in concert ever after.

It's also sad that too many newspapers and websites will present this news, highlighting that Hefti wrote the theme songs for televisions' "Batman" and "The Odd Couple", then presenting his illustrious Jazz career as a side note.

NPR: Neal Hefti, Big Band Trumpeter, TV Theme Composer, Dies

Washington Post: Composer Neal Hefti; Jazz Master Penned Theme for 'Batman'

Los Angeles Times: Neal Hefti dies at 85; former big band trumpeter, arranger and composer

Neal Hefti on Wikipedia

Since it is mentioned above, and also, one of my all-time favorites ...

Lil' Darling - Count Basie

This Date ... On The Garlic

16 October 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overhead While The Nobel Peace Prize Committee Reviewed Rush Limbaugh's Nomination


16 October 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Back To The Drawing Board For Security Council; New Problem As Jong Il Issues “Korean-Style” Signing Statement To Invalidate U.N. Sanctions; U.S. Irate But Must Abstain Due To Conflict of Interest; North Korea Also To Start Page Program For Potential Scandal

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At “Liberty Sunday” Last Night


16 October 2005... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Debate Results: Flintstones vs. Jetsons Pt. III

Here's a hint of how things went.

Obama consistently framed answers with a little sprinkling of pixie dust, a whiff of history, citing, that we're in the greatest economic crisis since The Great Depression, and then laid out this program, or that, in detail.

Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain (who went from "Grumpy McKKKain", to "Angry McKKKain", almost right out of the gate) brought up, and kept going back to, and going back to, and going back to Joe the Plumber.

Joe the Plumber, who had an exchange with Obama on the campaign trail (You can watch the video of it HERE; As, or after watching it, imagine the debunked Maverick talking to him about the same thing - Snoozer!).

They could use clips of McKKKain and his new best buddy, Joe the Plumber, on one of those breezy, dancing eHarmony commercials.

And it won't surprise me if Joe the Plumber comes out on top of some of the post-debate polls.

And, after all the hype, the endless hours of the Cable TV heads pontificating about it, the cries for blood from the Right Wing Freak Show, John McKKKain IS A PUSSY!

It was like a pillow fight, with foam, rather then feathers.

McKKKain did bring up William Ayers (and ACORN), in virtually the same exact manner he has brought him up over the past two-weeks-plus.

He dredged it up with his standard stump speech, not anything new, no new, or direct, questions ... No grilling ... Standard Stump all the way.

Obama did hit him, though, calling him out over the rabid Palin mobs, saying, to McKKKain's face, the calls at those rallies of "terrorist" and "Kill him".

McKKKain, being the straighter shooter he consistently refers to himself as, defended, angrily, of course, the crowds at his rally, without saying a word about the ugliness of those type of chants and threats.

Maverick, my ass!

There was a question about the qualifications of their opponents running mates as President, and, my first reaction to seeing Obama say nothing but nice things was he blew it (McKKKain, in his answer, tossed a bone at Biden and then nit-picked some issue that was a yawner), however, in hindsight, if he dissed the Wasilla Whiz Kid, it would be days of more grief, blaring headlines; It was almost an 'Eddie Haskell' compliment, so better to let Mommy Moose sink her own boat.

While starting off like he was pumped full of "electrolytes", however, quickly, the anger seeped in, and continued to grow the rest of the night.

There were a few times, I half expected for his head to explode.

And it showed, over and over (at one point, McKKKain called Obama “Senator Government,” in an angry rush to hit back at him, but did correct himself).

After dissing Obama about something, and as Obama responded to it, McKKKain would be stuttering, interrupting, making faces and noise, as Obama spoke (at one point, having to be scolded by Moderator Bob Schieffer).

Obama, cool, calm and collected, driving home the need for a new direction.

McKKKain, all but foaming-at-the-mouth, blabbing out standard Republican speak (including the "Abortion/Roe v. Wade" segment, in which he will be creamed and skewered for his answer).

Post-debate, it appears, Obama sweeping all the snap polls, some by extremely large margins (by 2-1, in numerous cases).

Right Wing Freak Show will, undoubtedly, spin how Angry John McKKKain kicked ass and "the race is on".

Trouble is McKKKain and Palin is their ticket, so it only gets them to the next gaffe or fuck-up.

No game-changer here, and we can all exhale, as the debate season is, finally, over.

More tomorrow ...


Bonus Debate Links

Bob Cesca

The Jed Report

Think Progress Live Blogging

FiveThirtyEight Live Blogging

The Reaction: Ambitions of empire: Live-blogging the third Obama-McCain debate

Crooks and Liars Live-Blogging

Debate Results ... The Flintstones vs. The Jetsons

Debate Results ... The Flintstones vs. The Jetsons Part II

VP Debate Results: Kick The Can




Hat Tip to Bob Cesca for the pitch perfect photo

Everything He Learned?

If there are any Chief Petty Officers in the debate audience this evening, word-to-the-wise, keep a low profile.

As you may recall, at the last Presidential Debate, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain got a lucky roll-of-the-dice, when one of the audience questioners happened to be a serviceman, a Navy man, a Chief Petty Officer.

Transcript of second McCain, Obama debate

Well, thank you, Terry (ph). And thank you for your service to the country.

I want to say, everything I ever learned about leadership I learned from a chief petty officer. And I thank you, and I thank you, my friend. Thanks for serving.

Perhaps Chief Petty Officer Terry hadn't see the newspaper, the Los Angeles Times that day, or likely he would have had a rebuttal for for the debunked Maverick, maybe a different question, for I don't think he want to own that for the legion of Chief Petty Officers out there, past and present.

Mishaps mark John McCain's record as naval aviator; Three crashes early in his career led Navy officials to question or fault his judgment

As a presidential candidate, McCain has cited his military service -- particularly his 5 1/2 years as a POW. But he has been less forthcoming about his mistakes in the cockpit.

In today's military, a lapse in judgment that causes a crash can end a pilot's career. Though standards were looser and crashes more frequent in the 1960s, McCain's record stands out.

Naval aviation experts say the three accidents before McCain's deployment to Vietnam probably triggered a review to determine whether he should be allowed to continue flying. The results of the review would have been confidential.

The Times asked McCain's campaign to release any military personnel records in the candidate's possession showing how the Navy handled the three incidents. The campaign said it would have no comment.

If may be safe to say, that if it were not for Fly Boy having a Dad and Grandfather that were big muckity-mucks in the Navy, perhaps McKKKain may have had a career in KP duty, if not drubbed out of the service completely.

You look at this article, the record of crashes, and you can see that things haven't changed much.

It's now his campaign that he's driving into the ground.


Bonus Clyde Crashcup Riffs

Quincy Adams: McCain's judment and veracity as an aviator

Melissa McEwan: Crash Bandicoot

Libby Spencer: Things I learned from Atriots

Ted Rall: Puffing up John McCain, POW

Lowell: George McGovern takes a "dig" at John McCain

That One!

Well, we have another debate this evening, the last of this long presidential primary and campaign season (I believe it is around 41 debates, total, that we have had to endure).

Being that Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain is in this one, speaking publically, we remind you to clean, oil and test out your "My Friends" counter.

He's down, and free-falling in the polls, so it could be a blizzard of "My Friends" tonight.

Also, there will be held breath and anxious nerves, awaiting to see, as the minutes click off, if the debunked Maverick
employs "That One" again.

It still has gone unexplained by the Dead Campaign Express what caused The Donut Man to refer to Barack Obama as "That One".

Had he, earlier in the day, perhaps attempting to take a nap, have the television on and "That Girl" came on?

Maybe the movie "That Touch of Mink", or "That Darned Cat".

Or, he was thinking about the old, Brasilian lover, "That Naughty Girl", remembering the steamy times and complimenting her on "That Thing You Do".

There is the chance that he was just trying to bring back "That Old Feeling".

Or, he wanted to be hip, a bit of a smart-ass, and meant to say "That Darn Punk".

If he wants to keep the vibe of his campaign for the last week, or so, he can tag Obama with things like "That Awful Brother", "That City Feller", "That Soul Thing", and really toss one out to the base, with "That Minstrel Man".

He can follow-up on Jeffrey M Frederick, the Virginia GOP chief, and ask Obama "That Burning Question" about "That Mysterious Fez".

Perhaps he'll throw a shot out at Obama's campaign staff with a "That Gang of Hoodlums".

But, most likely, the debate will end with "That Sinking Feeling" and McKKKain, Mommy Moose and the Dead Campaign Express won't escape the label of just continuing ""That Yin Yang Thing".

In that case, we can expect some new stunt, and you can employ the nifty chart Nate Silver made up for just THAT happening.

This Date ... On The Garlic

16 October 2006... On The Garlic

Condi! Whose Cup Are You Drinking From Lately?

Faster Than A Speeding, Lead Bullet ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Something Rudy

When A Michelle Malkin Quits The O'Reilly Factor, And No One is Around To Hear it, Does It Make A Sound?


16 October 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

41 and 43 Equals ??? ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Alaskan Lie

With all that's going on the past few days, the whirlwind of the campaigns, McKKKain's in particular, the Wall Street Meltdown and Hank's Heist (following the Bush Doctrine, Hank Paulson went shopping during a crisis - He went out and bought banks today!), we can't help bringing our thoughts back around to Rich Lowry.

Poor Little Richie.

All those mean bullies picking on his Sarah Palin... His Ms. Winking Excitement ...His personal dream cloud of starbursts.

We (along with a bevy of others, including a devastating take by Keith Olbermann) wrote about how Little Richie got all straight and excited when Mommy Moose winked - at him - during the VP debate.

Little Richie was beside himself, barely able to keep his pounding heart inside his chest.

But it's been a rough sled since then.

The Wasilla Whiz Kid got whacked in that Troopergate Report a few days later (though, she stuck her Cheneyesque chin out and deemed herself cleared, earning her a tag of being "Orwellian" from the locals up there).

C'mon Rich, even you have to look beyond the starburst dust to see that is really quite a stretch.

Then, there was Christopher Hitchens, clubbing her like a baby seal;

And the only public events that have so far featured his absurd choice of running mate have shown her to be a deceiving and unscrupulous woman utterly unversed in any of the needful political discourses but easily trained to utter preposterous lies and to appeal to the basest element of her audience.

The most insulting thing that a politician can do is to compel you to ask yourself: "What does he take me for?" Precisely this question is provoked by the selection of Gov. Sarah Palin. I wrote not long ago that it was not right to condescend to her just because of her provincial roots or her piety, let alone her slight flirtatiousness, but really her conduct since then has been a national disgrace. It turns out that none of her early claims to political courage was founded in fact, and it further turns out that some of the untested rumors about her—her vindictiveness in local quarrels, her bizarre religious and political affiliations—were very well-founded, indeed. Moreover, given the nasty and lowly task of stirring up the whack-job fringe of the party's right wing and of recycling patent falsehoods about Obama's position on Afghanistan, she has drawn upon the only talent that she apparently possesses.

With McCain, the "experience" is subject to sharply diminishing returns, as is the rest of him, and with Palin the very word itself is a sick joke.

Ouch!

Those starburst are really starting to fade, aren't they Richie?

And, I'm sure you weren't too pleased (and having to deal with Christopher Buckley, on top of it), seeing John Cleese mock and disparage your Ya'Betch'ya Gal.

Then, the anvil dropped on your head today - Matthew Dowd.

From Steve Benen;

"Matthew Dowd was the chief strategist for the Bush-Cheney 2004 campaign, so it came as something of a surprise to see him eviscerate John McCain today a panel at the TimeWarner summit."

"They didn't let John McCain pick the person he wanted to pick as VP," Dowd declared during the Time Warner Summit panel. "When Sarah Palin got picked instead of Joe Lieberman, which I fundamentally believed would have given John McCain the best opportunity in this race... as soon as he picked Palin, that whole ready versus not ready argument was not credible."

Saying that Palin was a "net negative" on the ticket, he went on: "[McCain] knows, in his gut, that he put somebody unqualified on the ballot. He knows that in his gut, and when this race is over that is something he will have to live with... He put somebody unqualified on that ballot and he put the country at risk, he knows that."

Oh man, go ahead cry, if you want ... We know, it's gotta hurt.

We know, with McKKKain sinking in the polls like the Titanic, you're probably too distraught to write another gushing post, to gather your thoughts, to express yourself properly, to come to grips with the wink-less life you have to face.

So, we're giving you some help.

You can sing this, over-and-over, to help cleanse your heart, and sweep all those starbursts out the door.

In fact, everybody .. C'mon, everybody pitch in and help Little Richie sing this tune ... It's classic and you all know, so let it rip ...

Alaskan Lie

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that wink used to make me smile.
And I knew if she had her chance
That she could make the GOP base dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But October made her shiver
With every paper that was delivered
Bad news on the doorstep;
She couldn’t make one more wink hep.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about her Ethics slide
But something touched me deep inside
The day the Winkin' died.

So bye-bye, Miss Alaskan Lie.
Buzzed my 'copter 'bove the tundra
But the wolves, they did hide
And that good ol' maverick was drinkin’ Kool Aid and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day the winkin' died.
"this’ll be the day the winkin' died."

Did you write the book of Ethics,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in Shock and Awe,
Can Rev. Murthee save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to wink real slow?

Well, I know that you wanted to fire him
`cause I saw you winkin' in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig that Rovian ruse.

I was a lonely Corner broncin’ buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the Winkin' died.

I started singin’,
bye-bye, Miss Alaskan Lie.
Buzzed my 'copter 'bove the tundra
But the wolves, they did hide
And that good ol' maverick was drinkin’ Kool Aid and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day the winkin' died.
"this’ll be the day the winkin' died."

Now for ten weeks we’ve been on our own
And ice grows fat on a frozen stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When the McCain sang for the rabid mob,
And you jumped in cause it was your job
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the Maverick was looking down,
You stole his ugly racist crown.
The Legislature was adjourned;
The Ethics verdict was returned.
And while Obama rang up good marks,
The Right Wing Freak Show practiced in the park,
And they sang dirges in the dark
The day the Winkin' died.

We were singing,
bye-bye, Miss Alaskan Lie.
Buzzed my 'copter 'bove the tundra
But the wolves, they did hide
And that good ol' maverick was drinkin’ Kool Aid and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day the winkin' died.
"this’ll be the day the winkin' died."

Helter skelter in an economic swelter.
Investors flew off to an island tax shelter,
Eight hundred Points down and falling fast.
Mac's crowd was foul, even crass
As he tried to make forward pass,
Before racist crowds that had amassed

Now the half-time air smelled of flop and doom
While the cable anchors sang Mac's marshall tune.
We all got up to wink,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the issues tried to take the field;
The talking heads refused to yield.
And only nonsense was revealed
The day the winkin' died.

We started singing,
bye-bye, Miss Alaskan Lie.
Buzzed my 'copter 'bove the tundra
But the wolves, they did hide
And that good ol' maverick was drinkin’ Kool Aid and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day the winkin' died.
"this’ll be the day the winkin' died."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A electorate lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: Sarah be nimble, Sarah be quick!
Sarah spin that Ethics trick
Cause lying is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched her on the stage
Her fans were seized in fits of rage.
No spin doctor born in hell
could quell her awful smell
And as the rhetoric climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw Rove laughing with delight
The day the winkin' died

He was singing,
bye-bye, Miss Alaskan Lie.
Buzzed my 'copter 'bove the tundra
But the wolves, they did hide
And that good ol' maverick was drinkin’ Kool Aid and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day the winkin' died.
"this’ll be the day the winkin' died."

I met a girl from a state that is now blue
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and said it had just turned that way.
I went down to the McCain store
Where I’d heard the smears years before,
But is was still the only music they would play.

And in the streets the Mob did scream,
The critics cried, and the pollster creamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three pols I admire most:
Dubster, Dickie and Reagan's ghost
They caught the last hearse for the coast
The day the winkin' died.

And they were singing,
bye-bye, Miss Alaskan Lie.
Buzzed my 'copter 'bove the tundra
But the wolves, they did hide
And that good ol' maverick was drinkin’ Kool Aid and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day the winkin' died.
"this’ll be the day the winkin' died."

They were singing,
bye-bye, Miss Alaskan Lie.
Buzzed my 'copter 'bove the tundra
But the wolves, they did hide
And that good ol' maverick was drinkin’ Kool Aid and rye
Singin’, "this’ll be the day the winkin' died.
"this’ll be the day the winkin' died."

Buck up Rich, Buck Up!

Barry Crimmins Alert: Strap Nancy Pelosi To A Table and Ship Her Out! ... Vote Cindy Sheehan!

It's been one of our most fervent wishes the past two-years, that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is plagued by nightmares.

A Tim-Burton-on-acid-meets-Disney-type nightmare, of being trapped in a store.

A table store.

Big, thick butcher block's man the exits, forcing the Bush Grindhouse enabler to travel the maze-like aisles, small end-tables nipping at her ankles, all the other tables stamping their legs, chanting "No Nancy, put it on the table ... No, Nancy, put it on the table ... No Nancy, put it on the table ..."

Well, the good folks of "Baghdad by the Bay" (a favorite moniker often used by the late, San Francisco Chronicle columnist, Herb Caen, long before the invasion and occupation), San Francisco, has that opportunity next month, to bring that closer to a reality.

And Barry Crimmins, today, gives it a push, with a resounding, call-to-arms endorsement of her challenger - Cindy Sheehan.

A snip for you;

Icing the Republican Casket

Wouldn't it be fantastic if the Dem who gets handed walking papers was the one who, speaking from a position of high authority, promised that any chance of impeaching the criminally barbarous Bush was "off the table" immediately after 2006 Congressional elections that were all about public disdain for Bush? From there that person went on stand down as our liberties were being assailed at home and as our addiction to foreign wars continued apace abroad. Then this millionaire helped spearhead a gargantuan bailout of people already awash in more cash than any of us could ever imagine. No question about it, it would be tremendous if she found herself out on a street full of Republicans on the morning of Nov 5.

Not only should Cindy Sheehan win but she really could if an influx of progressive support infuses her campaign right now. So get off your diverse buts San Francisco and get to work for Cindy Sheehan. And lefties around the country, it's time to cough up whatever you can for Cindy Sheehan. Imagine if on election night (voter suppression and ballot-rigging permitting) the Republicans get trounced from coast to coast and then the last big story of the evening is Cindy Sheehan's upset win over Nancy Pelosi.

Imagine how great November 4 will be (voter suppression and ballot-rigging permitting) if we seriously repudiate the R's and then knock off the Vichy Dem who so compromised the electoral gains of 2006 by replacing her with the legendary woman who wiped the smirk off W's face?

Strongly recommend you jump over to Barry's site and read "Icing the Republican Casket"

Then, jump of over to Cindy Sheehan's site, and do whatever you can to help her dump Pelosi


Bonus "Vichy Dem" Pelosi Riffs

Garlictorial - We’ll Need That Table

Hey, Hoyer (and Pelosi) ... Politico ... Suck On This!

Damn You, Nancy OffTheTable and Stagnant Hoyer!

Garlictorial: The Blank Check Club

The Night of the Jackal ... And A New Garlic Song - The Congress Sleeps Tonight