Top Ten Cloves: Things John McCain Can Do To Get Over Embarrassment of Joe The Plumber

News Item: Over Joe

10. Beef up his credibility - Get the AP's Liz Sidoti to bring Joe The Plumber a box of donuts

9. Bring in Bobby Jindal, to do an exorcism on him

8. Stash him away in one of his seven houses

7. Finally, sit down with campaign staff and redo their vetting criteria

6. To get him away from media, see if he'll take a crack at McCain's Electric Car Battery contest

5. Assign Joe Lieberman to Joe The Plumber

4. Battle Stations - Peel off from the Palin Truth Squad a new team for the Joe The Plumber Truth Squad

3. Bite the bullet - Go out and do an all-day news conference on the difference between Shiites and Sunnis

2. Put a call out to Rick Warren, and have him ship that Cone of Silence to Ohio

1. Go Maverick with a major game changer - Replace Palin on ticket with ... Joe The Plumber!


Bonus Links

Barry Crimmins: Plumbing the Depths

Martin Lewis: Meet The Real Joe-The-Plumber!

The Jed Report: McCain's Lame October Surprise: Joe, The Right-Wing Loon

Todd Gitlin: Joe the Ringer?

Steve Benen: THEY WERE LAUGHING AT HIM, NOT WITH HIM...

For Joe The Plumber

Debate Results: Flintstones vs. Jetsons Pt. III

For Joe The Plumber

His 15-minutes ...

Barack Obama And The Plumbing Business Owner

His 16th-minute, ad nauseum ...

Joe the Plumber Reacts to debate - Katie Couric Interview

Bonus Links

The Jed Report: McCain's Lame October Surprise: Joe, The Right-Wing Loon

Think Progress: Fact-Checking ‘Joe The Plumber’

A.J. Liebling: No Mo-Joe for McCain

BooMan: McCain Took an Ass-Whooping

SilentPatriot: Obama to McCain: "Your attacks say more about your campaign than they do about me"

Thers: The Plumber?

Debate Results: Flintstones vs. Jetsons Pt. III

Debate Results: Flintstones vs. Jetsons Pt. III

Here's a hint of how things went.

Obama consistently framed answers with a little sprinkling of pixie dust, a whiff of history, citing, that we're in the greatest economic crisis since The Great Depression, and then laid out this program, or that, in detail.

Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain (who went from "Grumpy McKKKain", to "Angry McKKKain", almost right out of the gate) brought up, and kept going back to, and going back to, and going back to Joe the Plumber.

Joe the Plumber, who had an exchange with Obama on the campaign trail (You can watch the video of it HERE; As, or after watching it, imagine the debunked Maverick talking to him about the same thing - Snoozer!).

They could use clips of McKKKain and his new best buddy, Joe the Plumber, on one of those breezy, dancing eHarmony commercials.

And it won't surprise me if Joe the Plumber comes out on top of some of the post-debate polls.

And, after all the hype, the endless hours of the Cable TV heads pontificating about it, the cries for blood from the Right Wing Freak Show, John McKKKain IS A PUSSY!

It was like a pillow fight, with foam, rather then feathers.

McKKKain did bring up William Ayers (and ACORN), in virtually the same exact manner he has brought him up over the past two-weeks-plus.

He dredged it up with his standard stump speech, not anything new, no new, or direct, questions ... No grilling ... Standard Stump all the way.

Obama did hit him, though, calling him out over the rabid Palin mobs, saying, to McKKKain's face, the calls at those rallies of "terrorist" and "Kill him".

McKKKain, being the straighter shooter he consistently refers to himself as, defended, angrily, of course, the crowds at his rally, without saying a word about the ugliness of those type of chants and threats.

Maverick, my ass!

There was a question about the qualifications of their opponents running mates as President, and, my first reaction to seeing Obama say nothing but nice things was he blew it (McKKKain, in his answer, tossed a bone at Biden and then nit-picked some issue that was a yawner), however, in hindsight, if he dissed the Wasilla Whiz Kid, it would be days of more grief, blaring headlines; It was almost an 'Eddie Haskell' compliment, so better to let Mommy Moose sink her own boat.

While starting off like he was pumped full of "electrolytes", however, quickly, the anger seeped in, and continued to grow the rest of the night.

There were a few times, I half expected for his head to explode.

And it showed, over and over (at one point, McKKKain called Obama “Senator Government,” in an angry rush to hit back at him, but did correct himself).

After dissing Obama about something, and as Obama responded to it, McKKKain would be stuttering, interrupting, making faces and noise, as Obama spoke (at one point, having to be scolded by Moderator Bob Schieffer).

Obama, cool, calm and collected, driving home the need for a new direction.

McKKKain, all but foaming-at-the-mouth, blabbing out standard Republican speak (including the "Abortion/Roe v. Wade" segment, in which he will be creamed and skewered for his answer).

Post-debate, it appears, Obama sweeping all the snap polls, some by extremely large margins (by 2-1, in numerous cases).

Right Wing Freak Show will, undoubtedly, spin how Angry John McKKKain kicked ass and "the race is on".

Trouble is McKKKain and Palin is their ticket, so it only gets them to the next gaffe or fuck-up.

No game-changer here, and we can all exhale, as the debate season is, finally, over.

More tomorrow ...


Bonus Debate Links

Bob Cesca

The Jed Report

Think Progress Live Blogging

FiveThirtyEight Live Blogging

The Reaction: Ambitions of empire: Live-blogging the third Obama-McCain debate

Crooks and Liars Live-Blogging

Debate Results ... The Flintstones vs. The Jetsons

Debate Results ... The Flintstones vs. The Jetsons Part II

VP Debate Results: Kick The Can




Hat Tip to Bob Cesca for the pitch perfect photo

Everything He Learned?

If there are any Chief Petty Officers in the debate audience this evening, word-to-the-wise, keep a low profile.

As you may recall, at the last Presidential Debate, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain got a lucky roll-of-the-dice, when one of the audience questioners happened to be a serviceman, a Navy man, a Chief Petty Officer.

Transcript of second McCain, Obama debate

Well, thank you, Terry (ph). And thank you for your service to the country.

I want to say, everything I ever learned about leadership I learned from a chief petty officer. And I thank you, and I thank you, my friend. Thanks for serving.

Perhaps Chief Petty Officer Terry hadn't see the newspaper, the Los Angeles Times that day, or likely he would have had a rebuttal for for the debunked Maverick, maybe a different question, for I don't think he want to own that for the legion of Chief Petty Officers out there, past and present.

Mishaps mark John McCain's record as naval aviator; Three crashes early in his career led Navy officials to question or fault his judgment

As a presidential candidate, McCain has cited his military service -- particularly his 5 1/2 years as a POW. But he has been less forthcoming about his mistakes in the cockpit.

In today's military, a lapse in judgment that causes a crash can end a pilot's career. Though standards were looser and crashes more frequent in the 1960s, McCain's record stands out.

Naval aviation experts say the three accidents before McCain's deployment to Vietnam probably triggered a review to determine whether he should be allowed to continue flying. The results of the review would have been confidential.

The Times asked McCain's campaign to release any military personnel records in the candidate's possession showing how the Navy handled the three incidents. The campaign said it would have no comment.

If may be safe to say, that if it were not for Fly Boy having a Dad and Grandfather that were big muckity-mucks in the Navy, perhaps McKKKain may have had a career in KP duty, if not drubbed out of the service completely.

You look at this article, the record of crashes, and you can see that things haven't changed much.

It's now his campaign that he's driving into the ground.


Bonus Clyde Crashcup Riffs

Quincy Adams: McCain's judment and veracity as an aviator

Melissa McEwan: Crash Bandicoot

Libby Spencer: Things I learned from Atriots

Ted Rall: Puffing up John McCain, POW

Lowell: George McGovern takes a "dig" at John McCain

Debate Results ... The Flintstones vs. The Jetsons Part II

Just a quick riff while the iron is hot.

Well, the worry at the VP Debate was the Wasilla Whiz Kid getting off the stage alive - figuratively

Tonight, there were clenched teeth, and fingernails dug into armchairs, just watching Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain walk around the stage and getting off it alive - literally.

I gotta think the odds boards in Vegas saw frantic action and heavy betting, on whether or not McCain would still be standing - and breathing - at the end.

And he wanted 10 of these things?

Jesus, by the third, he'd have a four-post walker, and, I'd say, by the fifth or sixth, it would be something from The Scooter Store.

And, this was a townhall, allegedly McCain's strength, his groove, his touchstone?

He wandered around the stage, like the befuddled Uncle that comes for Holiday dinner, that nobody really wants there, and spends most of the day not giving him much attention, yet he keeps injecting himself into the conversation, bad jokes and all.

For the record, the Dead Campaign Express Commander chucked up (by our count);

• 19 "My Friends"
• 2 "With a steady hand at the tiller
• 1 That shout-out to the DC Comic base, The League of Democracies

And, while Obama offered up Warren Buffet as a potential Treasury Secretary in his administration, Fly Boy suggested one of his advisors, Meg Whitman, founder of eBay, who announced today they will be laying off 1,000+ persons.

You want news?

Mommy Moose's mentor offered up a startling new policy agenda item.

He wants to do his version of Phil Rizutto and "The Money Store", saying he, as President, will buy up all the bad mortgages, and renegotiate the mortgages.

Say What?

This isn't, or wouldn't be, part of the already concluded $700 Billion heist by Hank Paulson and the Bush Grindhouse

This new "The McCain Money Store" would be on top of it.

Yet, he smears Obama, blaming him for Fannie and Freddy, and continues his Old-Man-Shaking-Fist-at-Clouds shrieking about Earmarks.

And there was the harsh, heavy-handed, dripping with contempt "THAT ONE", pointing (but not looking at) Obama, telling an Obama vote on a bill, loaded with ... You guessed it - EARMARKS!

It probably (but not definitively) had less to do with something racial and a lot more to do with that befuddled Uncle referenced above becoming very animated for a fleeting moment.

Early post-debate chatter has been that the snap and dial polls show Obama winning, by sizable margins.

The Talking Heads are all but saying he was the befuddled Uncle out there tonight, and questioning the strategy, after four-days of the Dead Campaign Express calling Obama a terrorist and a liar about supporting and befriending terrorists, Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnnie never raised it or attacked Obama on character.

The loud, collective sigh you may have heard at the end of the debate was the Rove Rats, resigning themselves, they're going to have to go and purchase a whole lot more kitchen sinks to toss at Obama.

And they'll be cutting Fly Boy loose, putting Mommy Moose's signature and logo on them.

More tomorrow, after the transcripts come out

Top Ten Cloves: Most Surprising Things John McCain Can Do At The Debate This Evening

News Item: Tonight's Debate and McCain's Catch-22

10. Comes out in drag, dressed and looking like Sarah Palin

9. Breaks down sobbing, begging Barack Obama for a job in his administration

8. Has Joe Lieberman on-stage with him, to whisper correct answers to him

7. Quick costume change, to top hat and tails, and then a tap/soft-shoe routine to the tune Is That All There Is?

6. Bad sign for Obama - Just before debate starts, Tom Brokaw is seen giving McCain a box of donuts

5. The Game Changer - Raffles off one of his houses to a lucky audience member

4. To make sure he doesn't look at Obama again, comes out wearing horse blinkers

3. Brings wife Cindy out, who has baked cookies, from a secret family recipe, for the entire audience

2. Shows up late for the debate - Got caught in a hot game of Craps in one of the Frat houses

1. Instead of a sharp-looking suit, McCain wears his old POW uniform


Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnnie Riffs

Dan Balz: A Debate About McCain

Time Magazine: Aides Wary of “Grumpy McCain”

David Kurtz: Warning: Excessive Tire Swinging May Cause Dizziness

He's Still Harping About The 10 Town Halls!

McCain VP Confusion; Staff Had Canadian Actress Sarah Polley In Dayton Hotel For Three Days

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium