"Why The Hell We Listening To A Bunch of Limeys" ... List Junkies, Have At It ... The Telegraph's Top 100 Liberals and Conservatives

Oh boy, can't wait to see the fur flying on this one.

Who made the list ... Who didn't make the list ... Why was my guy #5, he should have been #1 ... Why is this person even on the list ... Here's my own list ... Your list sucks ... Their list sucks ... Why the hell we listening to a bunch of Limeys... Who you calling a Limey, you pinhead ...

There'll be passion, there'll be despair ... I wouldn't rule out someone making a witty anagram out of the lists ... Oh yeah, YouTube songs ... Dozens-and-dozens, putting the lists to music and dittys (Hmmm ... Can you smell one, something like "My List In A Box"?)

The United Kingdom's Telegraph has on-line today the Top 100 U.S. Liberals and Conservatives Lists, which they say was motivated on "The 2008 election is arguably the most open contest since 1928. The victor will become the most powerful person in the world at a time of almost unprecedented challenge and turmoil."

"We have chosen political candidates, pollsters, campaign operatives, members of think tanks, journalists, bloggers, fundraisers, big-money donors and the occasional celebrity."

Someone is bound to be crying over this (perhaps John Boehner).

So, grab a tall cool one, kick back and Google, or check out Memeorandum, every hour or so, and be thoroughly entertained.

The Links

The top US conservatives and liberals

Why Bush failed to make our Top 20

Attytood: America's "most influential" conservative isn't conservative

Glenn Greenwald: Petraeus named second most influential "conservative"

#2 Lies Harder

Jeff Gannon Speaks! ... To The Garlic!

A minor occurance on The Garlic this week.

Monday started in quite typical fashion. Fired up the computer, pulled up The Garlic and, lo-and-behold, there was a comment in our "Wag The FEMA" post... A big, shiny comment ...

And it was from Jeff Gannon!

Could it be the same, softball-throwing Jeff Gannon? The fake-reporter-working-for-a-fake-news-organization Jeff Gannon?

It quickly passed through my mind, that, no, it couldn't be. It had to be a fake Jeff Gannon, and that quickly turned into thinking who would want to be a fake Jeff Gannon?

Would they be longing, or plotting, to get into the White House Press Briefing Room and feed pablum to the Press Secretary (though, the current one, Dana Perino, certainly has shown she doesn't need a plant in the audience, she does fine creating her own)? Was this fake Jeff Gannon also a hot military stud? Was this fake Jeff Gannon sitting there, day-after-day, hoping against all hope, that another covert, CIA agent would be outed, so fake Jeff Gannon could play a role in exposing their name?

Would the fake Jeff Gannon be calling themselves by a name different from their given one?

That one made me think of the Steven Wright joke, about making instant coffee in the microwave oven.

I suppose, a fake Jeff Gannon (and using a fake, fake name), could, possibly, find some work, in one of those celebrity look-alike agencies.

But that gave way to wondering if the real Jeff Gannon was a celebrity.

Infamy, certainly, the 15-minutes-of-fame thing ... But does that 15-minutes in the spotlight automatically give you the title of "celebrity"?

I checked The Google, to see if I could find any requirement, standards that had to be met in order to call yourself a celebrity (and not a fake celebrity, the kind that would work for a look-alike agency).

Didn't find anything. Anybody can call themselves a celebrity, though, it's not clear that anyone else would call you one. You could probably count on some friends and family, but that's not a given.

I mean, let's be real here.

If it only takes 15-minutes to become a celebrity, Christ, the place would be crawling with them.

There'd be all kinds of celebrity news shows ... Reality shows ... Game shows ... Probably sports and dancing shows ...

Wait a minute ... Scratch that ...

I got back to the comment ... The Jeff Gannon comment

You can read the comment, in full, here.

Just the heading, right under "Jeff Gannon Says" was a give-away that a compliment was not going to be forthcoming;

"Old Media Ablaze Over Staged FEMA Presser"

And then the first five words - "Liberal activists and the Old Media"

Hmmm ... Using "Old Media twice in the opening ... Made a quick mental note to imprint that the words "Old Media" sits in the Rightwing code book. Mr. Gannon then recounts the fake FEMA press conference, accurately (no, he doesn't indicate that he dreamed, wistfully, of being able to sit in that one) and, in the second paragraph of the comment, offers a scenario that excuses FEMA for pulling a fast one (Hint - blame the Liberals and Old Media).

Third paragraph infers wrong impressions were put forward - again, by the Old Media - on Hurricane Katrina (Hmmm .. Cameras focused on thousands of people at the Morial Convention Center without any food or water, for days, was an incorrect impression) and that he learned a big enough lesson ... And then it comes, right there in the third paragraph;

"In my book, “The Great Media War: A Battlefield Report”, I detail the flawed coverage of one of the greatest natural disasters in American history – a record that has yet to be corrected."

He's hawking a book

Fourth and fifth paragraphs are Gannon defending himself against the "phony reporter" charges, pointing to "Liberal media activist Keith Olbermann noted it on his nightly train wreck of a talk show and the lefties of the blogosphere dutifully repeated it ad nauseum."

I was as real as a reporter gets, writing over 500 articles as a White House correspondent, a job that Secret Service records indicate I actually showed up for more than 200 times over the course of two years. The veracity of my work as a reporter has never been successfully challenged."

He then, in the last paragraph, burnished his credentials, indicating he is a member of the National Press Club and that "My book about the media will be featured at the National Press Club’s 30th annual book fair on November 1."

He ends the comment with "Not bad for a “fake, fraud and phony.”

Well, it has been said that "showing up" is about 80% of it.

And he certainly isn't the first, nor will be the last, "fake, fraud and phony" to publish a book.

This comment intrigued me.

The links in it leads back to JeffGannon.com and there, it is descried that the comment was simply a copy-and-paste of a post, dated October 29, 2007.

How disappointing

Here I am, sitting here with my little The Garlic blog, thinking I've gotten whacked by a possible celebrity (see above) and it's was only a cut-and-paste job. No freshly-written prose ... I was just lumped into a mass mailing, probably, a spam comment (Note: After writing this, I discovered it was - see "Was Jeff Gannon a “Fake White House Reporter”?, over on The Democratic Daily)

Some Rightwing fan (possible that fake Jeff Gannon), defending the legendary fake reporter, scanning and jumping through the World Wide Web, parrying back at all the "Old Media" and "Liberal Activists".

So, to satisfy my curiosity, I emailed Jeff Gannon, through his website, asking "to verify comments left on my blog, The Garlic: All The Cloves Fit To Peel, were left by you, and/or you authorized a third party to submit the comment", noting that "it is unsigned (with no link back to an individual email), it is a copy of a post on your website, and with links to your new book."

Well, as Gomer Pyle used to say, "Surprise, Surprise"

Just over two-hours later, I received a reply - from Jeff Gannon - confirming that the comment left of The Garlic was with his "knowledge and permission." (Okay conspiracy theorists, get to work, he didn't actually say he posted it; Could, possibly, be that fake Jeff Gannon person). And he was quite cordial, thanking me for checking the source.

And I did call the National Press Club, who verified (over the telephone) that, yes, Jeff Gannon was a member and, yes, his book is being featured in the book fair

So, I have read and reread the comment a good number of times, and I have to admit, that I do agree with Mr. Gannon, that he isn't, and wasn't a "phony reporter".

He was a shill ... A Republican shill ... A Hack ... An RNC, Talking-Points Hack ... A Hatchet Man ... Part of the Sludge Report, Freakshow crowd, or, at least, attempting to earn his way into it (He would have to admit the irony of being gay and Republican doesn't open a lot of doors in Red America; Let's wait and see how many Faux News Network programs he gets on with his new book, though, to be fair, if it offers taking a swipe at Hillary/The Democrats/Liberals/Daily Kos/Media Matters, Fox would put John Wayne Gacy in front of the cameras).

Dwarfs, Finks, Phonies and Frauds, the lot of them.

Whether my writing is good enough, my satire witty enough, that is for others to decide.

Having Gannon comment on The Garlic (and, as of this week, STOPTHEACLU is picking on us), I can find solace in the fact that I've done, at minimum, my 80%.

Bonus Jeff Gannon Links

William Pitt: The Jeff Gannon Experience

Joe Conason: Gannon: The early years; Before he was buttering up Bush at White House press conferences, "Jeff Gannon" was doing the GOP's dirty work in attacking Tom Daschle.

Eric Boehlert: Fake news, fake reporter; Why was a partisan hack, using an alias and with no journalism background, given repeated access to daily White House press briefings?

SusanG/Daily Kos: Plame Leaked by Fake News Source? Overview: Part IV

Howard Kurtz: Jeff Gannon Admits Past 'Mistakes,' Berates Critics

Mark Fitzgerald/Editors & Publishers: Jeff Gannon Returns To Fray With Book Blasting Media's 'Liberal Bias'

A great moment in softball history

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow ...

Well he is on the run, technically (and we just gave him a soundtrack to run with), so, perhaps, the exposing of the infamous Rumsfeld Snowflakes is meant to put some heat on him.

Of all the wonderful, thrilling, hilarious Rumfeldspeak ... Deadenders ... Stuff Happens... The Army you have, et all, one of our favorites was learning about the snowflakes.

Rumsfeld, it has been said, buried his staff in them, and likely, if they were measured, they would rival the city of Buffalo's annual snowfall.

In today's Washington Post, Robin Wright offers a peak at the snowflakes with;

From the Desk of Donald Rumsfeld . . .In Sometimes-Brusque 'Snowflakes,' He Shared Worldview, Shaped Policy

Check it out ... It's great and just another glimpse of the Little-Secretary-of-Defense-Who-Could...


Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, measuring the snowflakes - or the bullshit - he was known to put out

Bush Grindhouse Launches "We Want Angel Back" Approach Over Telcom Amnesty

In the Sam Peckinpah masterpiece, "The Wild Bunch", the classic finale is set up with Pike Bishop (William Holden), Dutch Engstrom (Ernest Borgnine), Lyle Gorch (Warren Oates) and Tector Gorch (Ben Johnson) confronting the Mexican General, and his soldiers, with the demand "We want Angel back", their fallen, and tortured, comrade, and, within minutes, a ferocious, blazing, epic gun battle erupts.

Today, the Bush Grindhouse is giving their version of "We Want Angel Back", with a fusillade of Op-Eds, demanding that Congress give The Commander Guy the right to illegal wiretap American citizens, and to give the telecommunication companies immunity and amnesty from any lawsuits arising out of the illegal wiretapping.

In The Washington Post, Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-WV), and member of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, pens "Partners In the War On Terror: Telecommunications Firms And the Senate's FISA Bill", which Glenn Greenwald, in Salon, characterizes it as "Jay Rockefeller channels Dick Cheney's fear-mongering to urge telecom amnesty".

Over in Ruppert Murdoch;s Wall Street Journal, a trio of heavyweights - Mr. Civiletti/U.S. attorney general under President Jimmy Carter, Mr. Thornburgh/U.S. attorney general under President George H.W. Bush and Judge Webster/former director of the CIA and former director of the FBI - don't pull any punches, kick starting it right in the headline with "AT WAR - Surveillance Sanity: Companies that help protect the U.S. against attack deserve immunity from frivolous lawsuits."

Hmmm ... Let's get this right ... Trampling the Constitution and violating our civil rights = "frivolous lawsuits".

Basic sum-up of them - If we don't let The Commander Guy do whatever he wants, and if we don't let the telecom companies off the hook with lawsuits, terrorists are going to come to your house and kill you.

And, in case you missed it, the ground cover for todays attack got laid down yesterday, with Neocon Pimp Norman Podhoretz throwing a dementia fit about how we have to attack and bomb Iran, and if you don't go along with that, Anyone Who Doesn’t Want To ‘Bomb Iran’ Is Appeasing ‘Hitler’.

Glenn Greenwald chimes in on this one as well, with "Hitlers, Hitlers and more Hitlers" and Steve Benin, over at The Carpetbagger Report works the thematic geography angle with "Connecting 2007 Iran to 1933 Germany".

Here's Some Sanity

Hitting on both Telcom/Wiretapping battle, and the drumbeat for war with Iran, were two exceptional Op-Eds this past weekend.

In this past Sunday's The New York Times, the Op-Ed page carried both Studs Terkel, and their own Paul Krugman, these gentleman, essential hitting on similar themes - Fear ... Ignorance ... An abusive, over-reaching, fear-mongering government.

Check them out;

Stud Terkel - The Wiretap This Time

Paul Krugman - Fearing Fear Itself

Oh yeah, if you have never seen "The Wild Bunch", you don't want to know how it ends.

Retro, Retro ... U.S. Foreign Policy Spikes Upward - Karen Hughes Resigning!

I think this is a first for The Garlic.

We are Retro Garlicing a Retro Garlic.

It was only three-weeks ago that we offered the first Karen Hughes Retro Garlic, back on October 11th. It was Sidney Blumenthal's "An open letter to Karen Hughes" in Salon that prompted us to take a look back at our under-achieving , Under Secretary of State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs.

And today comes the news that this globe-trotting diplomat, sprinkling the good word on the USA to lands afar, will be leaving her post in December, with our National Tupperware Lady returning home to Texas.

If the disastrous U.S. Foreign Policy was a publicly-traded stock, there'd be a huge spike upward today, with all the talking heads on the financial news shows bubbling with this great fortune ... A red-letter day!

However, as in real life, when one stock goes up, another goes down, so, quick, sell-off your "Government-by-Cronies" stock, pronto!

Karen Hughes Red-Letter Day Links

Think Progress - BREAKING: Karen Hughes resigns.

ZappoDave/Daily Kos - Broken: Karen Hughes Gone

CNN - Hughes to exit State Department

Retro Garlic: Karen Hughes, Our National Tupperware Lady

Condi's going to miss the Tupperware parties

Justice Served ... Now It's A Wait For The Karma

It's one of those, almost unnoticed, passages in daily life, one out of millions, but the cretin who sued his dry cleaners for $54-Million over a pair of pants (and lost), has now been bounced out of his job;

Judge Who Lost Pant Suit Loses Job

Justice has been served, once again.

The havoc he raised with this, against Soo and Jin Chung, was malicious and uncalled for and it is fitting that, along with losing the case, he loses his job - which was in legal profession, as an administrative law judge.

Hopefully, in years forward, the dictionary companies, when they issue new editions, with new words and updated definitions, will included the name "Roy Pearson" under "Asshole" (and they may want to add whoever it was in the court system down there who allowed this case to go to trial).

Now, it's a wait for the Karma to kick in.

Losing his job doesn't cover it. Being an administrative judge, he knew better.

No, the real, heavy-duty karma will be Pearson gets banned from every dry cleaner in the land. That he be forced to wear "wash-and-wear" clothes the rest of his life ... That he has wrinkled pants and crumpled suits ... Stains that blink out like a big neon billboard ... Shirts missing buttons ...

Or, they keep losing his pants.

That would really balance the scales of justice.

Rummy On The Run? ... Let's Give Him Some Chase Music!

It's unlikely he would have been hunted down, panting, exhausted, with fear-filled eyes, a chalk-marked "M" stamped on his shoulder, like Peter Lorre in the Fritz Lang classic "M" (Sorry, won't daydream again while posting).

More the style of Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of Defense, would be to stroll out of the breakfast he was attending in Paris, angrily barking to his aides "Arrest me! ... What planet do they think they are on", or some such Rummyesque verbiage.

Charges were filed in France against Dick Cheney's little weekend-warrior buddy, for torture, by the the International Federation for Human Rights along with the Center for Constitutional Rights, the European Center for Constitutional and Human Rights and the French League for Human Rights, criminal charges for "ordering and authorizing torture."

And since he was in Paris, for some type of meeting with Foreign Policy Magazine, they wanted to catch and arrest the little bugger.

So, as we have done so often for the Bush Grindhouse, we provide a song, some chase music for Rumsfeld to skulk out-of-town with.

Stepping out of our element (Jazz), we turn to a proverbial American Hero, Bruce Springsteen, and his classic anthem, "Born To Run" to provide the right vibe.

Anyone that was a teenager in the 1970's, or older, you sing especially loud.

Born the One's

In the day we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American government
At night we ride through Middle East with suicide machines
Secure in cages out in Abu Ghraib
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' all over the law
Bushie this town rips the bones from their back
Its a death trap, its a stuff happens rap
We gotta torture'em while were young
`cause Neocons like us, Bushie we were born the One's

Bushie let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
And strap your hands across my engines
Together we could break this rap
Well torture till we drop, Bushie well never go back
Will you torture with me out on the wire
`cause Bushie I'm just a scared and lonely Rummy
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if torture is wild, Bushie, I want to know if torture is real

Beyond Saddam's palace hemi-powered Humvees scream down the boulevard
The Iraqis comb their hair in rear-view mirrors
And the guards try to beat them so hard
Our amusement park rises bold and stark
Prisoners are huddled on the beach, they're not missed
I wanna die with you Bushie on Baghdad streets tonight
In an everlasting kiss

The highways jammed with broken Neocons on a last chance power drive
All the Neocons out on the run tonight
but theres no place left to hide
Together Bushie we'll live with the sadness
I'll love you with all the madness in my soul
Someday Bushie I don't know when
were gonna get to that place
Where we really want to torture
and we'll walk in the sun
But till then Neocons like us
Bushie, we were born the One's

Bonus Rummy Riffs

Listen To A Clip of "Born To Run"

Top Ten Cloves: What Would Be Different If Rumsfeld Was A Dog, But Still Secretary of Defense

Rumsfeld Declares End to Memo 'Blizzard'

Seymour Hersh - The General’s Report: How Antonio Taguba, who investigated the Abu Ghraib scandal, became one of its casualties.


"Hey, I can daydream, can't I?"

Left Off Medal of Freedom Recipient List, Libby Said To Be "Crushed"

Cheney Said To Be Furious, Threatens To Expose Shadow Presidency If Pardon Doesn't Come Through

Sources tell The Garlic this morning that there are new, hostile divisions deep inside the White House.

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, commuted from his felony conviction in the Plame Leak Case, was said to be "despondent and crushed" after seeing the list of Medal of Freedom recipients released by the President yesterday.

Libby, according to a West Wing staffer, called Vice President Dick Cheney, and in tears, expressed his disappointment to his former boss, of not being awarded one.

Cheney was said to be furious, reacting angrily and threatened to expose the Shadow Presidency he has been conducting.

Cheney reportedly called the President, "barking at him" and demanded to know, if Libby was not receiving a Medal of Freedom award, when was his pardon coming through.

"We were sure Scooter was going to get one." whined Mary Matalin (Editor's Note: Whining is Ms. Matalins' natural way of speaking), a Libby friend and former colleague, as well as one of the chief fundraisers for Libby's defense.

"I mean, he gave one to Tenet, for God sakes!"

When asked for comment, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino indicated she didn't know anything about the Medal of Freedom awards, or how the list was developed.

"However," she added, "I believe that there are certain health benefits to not receiving one."

Libby is, reportedly, in talks with the Fox News Network as to developing a new show, tentatively titled "Are You Smarter Than a Convicted, But Commuted, Former White House Official?"

Bonus Scooter Links

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Tim Russert Didn't Ask Scooter Libby About Joe Wilson and His Wife

Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.

Letters Cast Light on Cheney's Inner Circle; Dozens of Prominent Figures and Insiders Praise Libby as Fundamentally Decent








"We were sure Scooter was going to get one,." whined Mary Matalin. "I mean, he gave one to Tenet, for Godsakes!"

All You New Iraq Diplomats, Don't Forget To Pack Your Brooms

We haven't followed up with the State Department on how our predictions offered last Saturday fared, but we have to add a new one today.

For all you diplomats being forced to serve over in Iraq, you're now going to have to carry some extra luggage;

Brooms

And your first duty will be to continue to sweep the Blackwater killing of 17 Iraqi citizens under the rug (and not any of those bargain ones that Lindsey Graham picked up).

Yet another sterling gem in the Bush Legacy.

It seems, by the news of the morning, the investigation into the Blackwater shooters have been stymied BECAUSE THE STATE DEPARTMENT OFFERED THEM IMMUNITY!

Holy tainted evidence, Batman!

Now, we already know that Bush's Work Wife, Condi Rice, has trouble remembering meetings... But you think, when she was before Congress last week- talking about contractors in Iraq - she could have, at least, hinted about the deal.

Why doesn't The Commander Guy just go on national television, hold up, and show the country, the "Pass Go, Collect $200 Million Dollars" card he gave Erik Prince and Blackwater and we can all get on to other business.

We joked before on how the Bush Iraq Policy was turning from Keystone Cops, to the Marx Brothers... Who Knew!

And Now We Come To The Sanity Clause

The Greek Chorus

FireDogLake: Guess Who Has Immunity Now?

Think Progress: State Dept. Granted Disgraced Blackwater Guards Immunity After Shootings

The Carpetbagger Report: Bush admin. promised immunity to Blackwater

Truthout/AP: Immunity Deal Hampers Blackwater Inquiry

Garlic Exclusive: Evidence of Bush giving Condi Rice the sweetheart kiss she was to pass on to Blackwater

PBS's Lehrer Admits Brooks "Body Language" Skills "Creeps Me Out"

Reveals Uncomfortable With Columnist "Staring At Me" On-Set; Alludes "Toe-Tapping" Also Involved.

PBS Newshour veteran anchor Jim Lehrer admitted this weekend that he is "creeped out" over New York Times columnist David Brooks, and his assertion of having "body language" skills.

Lehrer said that, as the segment aired Friday evening, news analysis with himself, Brooks and Mark Shields, a syndicated columnist, he could feel Brooks "sizing me up".

"I got a bit distracted," Lehrer said, "It was getting uncomfortable."

During a discussion about the Bush Grindhouse's escalation of rhetoric, and sanctions, against Iran, Brooks unveiled his body language skills;

JIM LEHRER: You agree with the professor who talked a moment ago...

DAVID BROOKS: Yes, and I'll tell you the basis for my agreement. And this is an argument that the president should give more interviews. He gives interviews to some columnists. It's not a broad ideological stretch. I'm sort of the Fidel Castro of the group. I'm on the far left. But he does give interviews to...

JIM LEHRER: Excuse me. You're on the far left of...

DAVID BROOKS: Of this particular group.

JIM LEHRER: Of the group of people, columnists, OK, got it.

DAVID BROOKS: Right. And we get together with the president periodically. And there are two of my colleagues who, every time they ask about Iran, and the president knows the questions are coming, it's sort of a joke between us, and we see his body language and response to these questions. Some of it is on the record; some of it is off the record.

But if you look, read his language, if you look at his body language, you see a man that's totally different than before Iraq. He is preparing the way for the next administration to have some means to deal with the situation. He believes in the diplomacy. But unless I totally misread him, I think he has no inclination to launch a military action.

"He was staring intently at me, as he made this statement," a shaken Lehrer recounted.

"It was like he was sizing me up ... And, I can't be 100% certain, but I believed I could hear him tapping his toes, under the table ... It really creeped me out."

Mark Shields, who was also in the segments, indicated that "I could sense something going on" but that "I felt my body was not of interest to Mr. Brooks."

When asked for comment, the White House refused to offer one, officially, but did say ask if Mr. Brooks had looked into Russian President Vladimir Putin's eyes and what his read of them were.

Lehrer stopped short of saying he would ban or boot Brooks off The Newshour.

"This is PBS, and were supposed to be knowledge, tolerant and understanding of such things," said the affable host. "But, to be honest, and there's no other way to put it, it just really creeps me out."

If Lehrer removes Brooks from The Newshour, it is reported that Margaret Richard, host of the long-running PBS fitness show, "Body Electric" has interest in bringing Brooks on-board - if his his body-language-reading skills are legitimate.


Shields: "I could sense something going on" but that "I felt my body was not of interest to Mr. Brooks."

Is Diane Feinstein Drinking From Joe Lieberman's Cup?

Hmmm ... What is more stomach-turning, Joe Lieberman kissing The Commander Guy, or the prospects of Joe Lieberman and Diane Feinstein locking lips?

It seems that the Twinkie-Defense-Aided-Former Mayor, Senator from San Francisco may be beginning to drink from the Joe Lieberman Bush-Lovin' cup, courtesy of TeddySanFran over on FireDogLake;

Sunday Late Nite: Snakes on A Plane

She's well on her way of puckering with Joe when Good Ole' Boy Senator Trent Lott indicated he's going to "devote a chapter to the California senator in a future book on leadership."

Maybe Cindy Sheehan should readjust her sights a little higher.

Depressing and Disappointing Diane Links

Dianne Feinstein, symbol of the worthless Beltway Democrat

Hayden's Un-American and Incompetent, Feinstein's Betraying the Constitution, and Chait Needs a Civics Lesson

Senator Feinstein's Iraq Conflict; As a member of the Military Construction Appropriations subcommittee, Sen. Feinstein voted for appropriations worth billions to her husband's firms

Don Nottebart ... Now, This Is An Obit With Some Ooomph!

While we have, from time-to-time, had some Garlic fun with obituaries of the rich-and-famous (and some not so rich-and-famous), but this obit is impressive.

No Kiwanis Club mentions ...No tales of his upstanding community service ... World War II stories ... Special causes ...

Don Nottebart was a baseball player and he had one major (and one minor) kick-ass accomplishments;

He threw the first no-hitter in the Houston Astrodome (playing for the forerunner of the Astros, the Colt 45's)

He also served up Willie Mays' 500th homerun

Now, how cool is that ... First no-hitter in the Astrodome ...

As the obit in today's Boston Globe (yes, between the Red Sox winning the World Series and the Patriots thumping the Washington Redskins, it's a wonder they printed any other news) offered;

"Nottebart, pitching to Covington. He has pitched a no-hit ballgame through eight-and-two-third innings. If he can dispose of Covington, he will go into the mythical hall of fame. But he's facing a tough one here: Covington. He is hitting .360, a left-handed batter. One strike. Bateman flashes out the sign, now. Outfield deep around the right side. Here's the pitch by Nottebart. There's a fly ball to left. Spangler racing hard, he's gonna get it. He's got it! And Nottebart has pitched a no-hitter against the Philadelphia Phillies!''

Only a limited number of guys can claim suiting up for the Houston Colt 45's, and even smaller number who have thrown no-hitters and no one else who gave the Say Hey Kid the pitch for No. 500.

Like I said, major kick-ass stuff ...

Links

Don Nottebart Hurls First Colt No-Hitter

Wife Cheered, Mauch Jeered Nottebart Gem

Don Nottebart Baseball Stats

Nottebart, Houston franchise's first no-hit pitcher, dies; Area resident, who made history in '63 as a Colt .45, succumbs at 71

In Dana Perino's World, The Glass Is Always, and Perpetually, Half-Full

Couldn't leave this one sitting in the files.

I don't know if the American political landscape has ever seen a bigger optimist since, oh, I don't know, probably Harold Stassen.

Let it be known, on this day, in all the lands afar, that White House Press Secretary Dana Perino is an optimist. In Dana Perino's world, the glass is always, and perpetually, half-full.

If life gives her lemons, she makes Lemon Meringue Pie.

Dana Perino doesn't just tow the party line, she goes out, rents the biggest, strongest, most powerful 18-wheeler, and transports it, unabashed and brimming with confidence.

The Little-Press-Secretary-Who-Could came up with a doozy this past Wednesday.

Stunning ... Breathtaking ... Absolutely incredulous!

Perino barreled down the party-line highway, pedal-to-the-metal, declaring there are - REPEAT - there are health benefits associated with Global Warming;

Perino: ‘There Are Public Health Benefits To Climate Change’ For People Who Die From ‘Cold’

WOW!

What's next - Operating heavy machinery after taking drugs - "Yes, there are risks, but you have to factor in the increased productivity"

I wonder if Al Gore will cut her into the profits of the sequel - The Inconvenient Health Benefits of Global Warming

She can always claim - again - that "I Didn’t Lie, I Just Had No Idea What I Was Talking About ..."

Dana Perino, Optimist, and The Little Press Secretary Who Could.

Bonus Dana

Joan Walsh: Perino watch, again

The Carpetbagger Report: White House talks up ‘public health benefits’ of global warming

Jason Linkins - The Gift That Keeps On Giving: Dana Perino Reveals The Awesome Benefits Of Global Warming

Dana Perino's words contradict Bush's fiscal policies

Where did Bush find her? On The Google?

What The ...!

Fox heralds Bush as a World Series ‘hero.’

And, no, were not talking about how, in his pre-Commander Guy days, he sandbagged and screwed Arlington, Texas, to get a new baseball stadium.

Heroic?

Fox must be paying some serious bills to the Bush Grindhouse.

Last week, it was the little shout-out to them during the California wildfires ... Now, they're squeezing him into the World Series.

Heroic?

How's about opportunistic ... Jingoistic ... It was the money photo-op ...And as we have come to know, this regime can't have enough photo-ops to pedal their patriotism ...

But it gets better (and I don't want to spoil it for you) ... Fox, along with narration, and archival footage, has "actors" in it (It would have played so much better if they had sailors on an aircraft carrier watching him)

Jump over to Think Progress and check it out

Hugs and Smarts

Boy, what a week it has been ...

Firestorms and, thanks to the Faux News Network, yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theatre ... And, covering all this, putting their stealth media skills to work, was none other then FEMA, in which their faux press conference now demonstrates, that along with not being able to deliver supplies, they also have difficulty delivering real journalists.

To bad the media (real or FEMA's) didn't offer that the State of California deals with these type of disasters EVERY YEAR!... One year it's fire, the next it will be mudslides ... Mix in a powerful earthquake, every now-and-then ... They are on top of it, been-there, done-that and they pretty much have it down.

Which brings us to The Decider Guy.

He quickly seized upon the events of the week, to become "Johnny Action", the man-on-the scene.

Desperate to shed his failures of Hurricane Katrina as if his jacket was on fire, The Decider Guy, sans the klieg lights and cathedral background, burdened himself on the good folks of California, much like an impertinent toddler, demanding attention while you are working to prepare dinner.

So that brings us to the Hugs and Smarts.

Today, Paul Farhi, in The Washington Post, has put out an unsolicited submission to the Bush Nickname List, with his "Bush the Embracer: Interpreting the Presidential Hug"

Here's a blown kiss Farhi throws out to The Embracer;

"Journalistic skepticism compels us to note that presidential hugs usually are photo ops, staged for the cameras and calculated to deliver the prepackaged sentiment, as Bush 41 once put it, "Message: I care." But the visual evidence also compels us to remark that Bush 43's hugs are among the least stage-y of his mannerisms. There's an athletic, energetic, almost muscular quality to them. They seem, in a word, genuine."

On Friday, Barry Crimmins, looking at that same California visit as Farhi, offers "President Smarts", which resembles nothing of a hug, but rather the needed, stern discipline for that impertinent toddler;

"This dummy has been smarting since that storm surge of criticism in 2005. Yesterday he used the wildfires as a backdrop for announcing a retroactive personal abrogation of responsibility as federal chief executive to lead relocation, rescue, recovery and rebuilding efforts at times of great national calamities... unless of course he likes the governor(s) of a ravaged region."

If only our Congress would get smart and throw a bear hug around The Embracer, escorting him off the premises, and then get to the business of rescuing and restoring the U.S. Constitution he has singed and burned by his policies and agenda.

Bonus Hugless, Dumb Links

Adam Howard/Alternet - Bill Maher Tells Andrew Sullivan: "It Was Not That Hard to See Bush Was a Moron in 2000" [VIDEO]

Photo Op Accomplished - Hooah!

David Corn - REBUTTAL: Why Bush Is A Loser


An Embracer, a Hugger and, lest we not forget, a Kisser!

General, Drop Your Draws, The Country Wants To Thank You ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Well, since the Congress got down on their knees, during the PetraeusReportPalooza, it wouldn't be out-of-the-question for the Bush Grindhouse to have the expectation for the country to give the Golden Boy a good hummer.

But, alas, the news has advanced far past our latest Garlic Weekly Poll.

AQI is nearly as passe as bell-bottom pants... They're as out as Joe Torre... Gone, Arriverderchi, Addios ...

It's in with the new and that means its all Iran, all the time... Iran is fomenting the violence in Iraq now... Iran is providing the bombs ... Iran is providing the training... And, if you haven't been paying attention, Iran has wrestled that much-heralded impending mushroom cloud out of the cold, dead hands of Saddam Hussein and are proudly waving it in Tehran.

Don't worry, even if the Faux News Networks is running a bit behind in their fear-mongering, it won't take them long to catch up ... I mean, there's less than 60-days for them to put some terror into your holidays (and an Iranian terrorist under every tree) ... I'm sure they're working on it ...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll October 15 - October 27, 2007

If Al Qaeda in Iraq is vanquished, President Bush will have to ...

1. Get caught with his microphone still on, saying that "The country owes General Petraeus a blow job" Tally 33%

2. Jump into his flightsuit, fire up the aircraft carrier and hang the Mission Accomplised banners Tally 29%

3. Start invading and occupying Iran Tally 27%

4. Appeal to the Nobel Prize people, to take away the Peace Prize from Al Gore and give it to him Tally 12%

This week’s Poll - Rather than amnesty, for aiding Bush & Co. to spy on Americans, the Telecom Companies should ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote