What's The Big Deal? ...They Already Hired The Cheney Fluffer

It's getting to be a real, dubious, sliding-scale, CNN's claim of "The Best Political Team on Television!"

The Blogosphere, and World Wide Web has been reverberating the past few days, with the news that CNN went out and reeled in one of the vilest feces-flinging Flying Monkey of the Right Wing Freak Show, Erick Erickson, who mans the dung heap Red State blog.



Lou Dobbs must be climbing the Immigration fence in rage over this one.

Steve Benen, over on Washington Monthly can give you a "Reader's Digest" of some of his greatest hits;

For example, it wasn't long ago when Erickson explained his belief on why the left has a stronger online presence than the right. He attributed it to an asymmetry in free time, since conservatives "have families because we don't abort our kids, and we have jobs because we believe in capitalism."

This is the same Erickson who recently called retired Supreme Court Justice David Souter a "goat f--king child molester," referred to two sitting U.S. senators as "healthcare suicide bombers," praised protesters for "tell[ing] Nancy Pelosi and the Congress to send Obama to a death panel" (he later backpedaled on that one), and described President Obama's Nobel Prize as "an affirmative action quota."

And perhaps my personal favorite was the time, just last year, when Erickson was angry about new environmental regulations relating to dishwasher detergent. He told his readers, "At what point do the people tell the politicians to go to hell? At what point do they get off the couch, march down to their state legislator's house, pull him outside, and beat him to a bloody pulp for being an idiot?"

Erickson says CNN made him an offer "he couldn't refuse."

Well, we can.

We don't have to watch, and, likely, will not, beyond an initial, curious peak.

He's slated to be part of the a new John King program.

That's the same John King that almost bumped out Hayes for the Cheney Fluffer position, him looping softballs in an interview last year.

And, it would seem that, perhaps, CNN is lowering their sights a bit, as to going after a big, wide audience.

In Tuesday's announcement, CNN political director Sam Feist lauded Erickson as being a voice for small-town values.

"Erick's a perfect fit for John King, USA, because not only is he an agenda-setter whose words are closely watched in Washington, but as a person who still lives in small-town America, Erick is in touch with the very people John hopes to reach," Feist said.

King was to dominate "small-town America?"

That ought to rack up the ratings.

In the end, this shouldn't really be surprising.

CNN, after all, egregiously hired Cheney-Fluffer, Stephen Hayes, and they went out and plucked off the PartyofNoican's welfare roll the El Jefe of Scooter Libby Apologists (and another Dick Cheney staffer) Mary Matalin.



Wolf Blitzer can breathlessly shout "The best political team on television" all day long.

About the only ones believing that are those CNN-produced holograms.

With the way they are stocking themselves with the stars of the Right Wing Freak Show, It's almost as if CNN should be a block of programs on the Faux News Network.

Bonus Erickson Flying Monkey Riffs

Eric Boehlert: CNN's Ed Henry should quit while CNN is behind

Steve M: WELL, HE IS THE EMBODIMENT OF MODERN CONSERVATISM, NO?

Alex Koppelman: What was CNN thinking with latest hire?

Sadly No: The death of our media

TBogg: News you can use

Eric Martin: At Least He Hasn't Written any Hagiographies of Dick Cheney...

Under This Mistletoe, An Ignorant Dolt - Mary Matalin

We had hoped to get through the holidays with only the need for a little light dusting.

Much as we would at home, turning the thermostat down if we were to be away a few days, we dialed down, a crank, or two, the Ignorant Dolt detector.

It was, after all, Christmas, and we would have like to think that people could hold it back, contain themselves through the holiday.

Ahh, the lessons that we learn ...

I suppose, though, that now is as good a time as any.

Afterall Mary "Free Scooter Libby" Matalin, long, long ago, established her Ignorant Dolt credentials.

It was sheer laziness on our part, for not fitting her with the Ignorant Dolt Crown and Sceptre, for her bevy of outlandish displays of amazing doltness.

If we were ever to create a statue, a la The Oscar, to bestow upon our Ignorant Dolts, Matalin would, definitely, be up, high on the list, top two, or three, for its' likeness.



And how did Mary "The World Will Come To An End Under Democrats" Matalin put her Ignorant Dolt foot into her Ignorant Dolt mouth?

Mary Matalin claims President Bush ‘inherited’ the September 11th terror attacks

On CNN today, GOP strategist and former Dick Cheney adviser Mary Matalin argued that President Obama is speaking too much about the severe debt, deficits, and economic recession he inherited from the previous administration. Defending her former boss, Matalin charged that President Bush had in fact “inherited a recession” and the September 11th attacks from President Clinton:

MATALIN: I was there, we inherited a recession from President Clinton and we inherited the most tragic attack on our own soil in our nation’s history. And President Bush dealt with it and within a year of his presidency within a comparable time, unemployment was at 5 percent.

Oh no, you didn't really say that, did you Mary?

After all the documentation on how The Bush Grindhouse blew off the Clinton Administrations terrorism work, naturally, because they were too busy planning on how they were going to attack Iraq.

The Commander Guy's vacation, and the ignored PDB?

It may be Mary, that you are such an Ignorant Dolt, they cut you out of the loop.

Rove, or Dan Bartlett, maybe even Andy Card, didn't send you the memo?

The memo that said, since The Bush Grindhouse was out of business, since WHIG was shuttered-up, you couldn't go around making up your own facts any longer.

This is really egregious.

Even he must cringe at having to look at such an Ignorant Dolt as yourself every day ...

It wouldn't surprise me if Gollum divorces you over this.

Libby Lover Lands New Gig To Protest His Innocence

What is CNN doing, recomposing The Bush Grindhouse, or, a Reader's Digest-version of the White House Iraq Group (you remember, Andy Card's in-house ad agency charged with selling the lies to invade and occupy Iraq).

And, HER, of all people.



Among other atrocities, the chief fundraiser/letter-writer for the Scooter Libby Defense Fund.

Mary Matalin signs on as CNN contributor

Republican strategist Mary Matalin has signed on to serve as a CNN political contributor, the network announced Thursday.

[snip]

"As one of the best-known and best-connected strategists in the country, Mary will join our line up of top Republican analysts including Bill Bennett, Alex Castellanos, and Ed Rollins," said Sam Feist, CNN political director and vice president of Washington programming. "We are thrilled that CNN viewers will be able to tap into Mary's vast political experience advising candidates and presidents from both inside and outside of the White House."

Matalin, a veteran political commentator, served as a senior White House advisor to both President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney. She was a key strategist in President George H.W. Bush's 1988 campaign, and was appointed chief of staff for the Republican National Committee after his successful bid. She was also a key strategist in the 1992, 2000 and 2004 Republican presidential campaigns.

Nearly a year ago, John Mashek, in U.S. News and World Report, called Matalin "worst of the new breed of political consultants";

Matalin learned her politics from the late Lee Atwater, a gunslinger from South Carolina. In this cycle, Matalin signed on first with the presidential quest of then Sen. George Allen of Virginia before Allen imploded in his 2006 Senate race. She then moved over to former Sen. Fred Thompson of Tennessee, who was an early dropout.

This is the same Matalin who was a close adviser to Vice President Cheney in the controversial run-up to the war in Iraq and its disastrous aftermath.

I mean, Jesus, they almost have enough PartyofNoicans to filibuster Obama.

Something Steve Benen also bemoans;

Matalin not only joins the growing list of Republican analysts on CNN's political team (joining Bill Bennett, Alex Castellanos, and Ed Rollins), she's also the latest former staffer in the Bush White House to make the transition to jobs with major media outlets.

It's hard to keep up with them all. Michael Gerson (Washington Post), Sara Taylor (MSNBC), Tony Snow (CNN), Frances Fragos Townsend (CNN), Nicole Wallace (CBS News), Dan Bartlett (CBS News), Jeff Ballabon (CBS News), Tony Fratto (CNBC) and, of course, Karl Rove (Fox News, Newsweek, and Wall Street Journal) have all gone from working for Bush/Cheney to working for the mainstream media.

It was just last Fall, just before the election, that CNN added the #1 Cheney Fluffer to their ranks, Stephen Hayes.

I wonder, if she helps John King with his questions, will he let her play with his Magic Board.

The thing to watch is how often she brings up how completely innocent Scooter Libby was, working him into storylines, and her convoluted answers, of ignoring reality and pumping up the Bush Grindhouse.

One thing, for "the best political team on television" to make this a bit more easier to swallow, if that is, at all, possible.

Use their arsenal of High Tech Hijinks to do something with THAT VOICE of hers.

At least coach her to speak using her mouth, instead of her nose.

Or hire Fran Drescher, to balance it out.

Well, That Wasn't Much Of A Wait ...

If Scooter Libby leaves that Christmas stocking hung, it may end up with not much more that a piece of coal in it.

'Cuz that Christmas Presidential Pardon sure ain't flying down the chimney this year!

The Department of Injustice released their 2007 List of Pardons today, and I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby was not among the 29 names getting their holiday orgasm, their golden "I Got Away With It" certificate.

No doubt, the holiday eggnog in the Libby abode must be heavily rummed-up, and, perhaps, tasting a bit clumpy this evening.

What's an ass-kissing, law-breaking, CIA-covert-agent-exposing convicted felon have to do around this place to get a little love from his Compassionate Commander Guy ex-boss?

Like Tessio, in 'The Godfather", The Scooter must have been thinking "Hell, he can't do that ... It screws up all my plans ..."

Now, Little Scooter has to sit around, probably with Mary Matalin getting all in his face, constantly badgering him with drafts of new fundraising letters, listening to publishers tell him his previous books suck, but "if you write about what you did", which has to tempt the Mrs. Scooter to be barking in his ears, "Screw them, take the money!", keeping his steely pluck, relying on all his experience as a dedicated civil servant, and wait until next year to get his freedom.

Maybe Fred Thompson will drop out of the race (rather than waiting, about another two months, to be booted out of it, embarrassingly, with numbers that would only look good on a golf card) so he can be by his buddy's side, putting the arm on all those neocons to kick up a few bucks for the Little Scooter.

Wouldn't be surprised either, to hear news that Cheney was brought into the hospital -again - with a broken defibrillator.

Cheney has to be sitting around, stewing, the picture of a Looney Tune cartoon, his oversized head throwing off buckets of sweat, thinking about is this the time to say 'fuck it", and just issue the pardon himself.

Fox News will have to file away all that B-Roll, tape over the sappy soundtrack, book new talking heads for all the appearances they had the Little Scooter pegged for - across their Freakshow line-up (but, they will put him on with Chris Wallace anyway, lest they have to listen to him piss-and-moan about not getting anyone to come on his show).

Boy, sure wouldn't mind being the package of Sweet'N Low on the table, the next time Scooter and Judy get together for coffee

Bonus Scooter Links

Jane Hamsher: Poor Scooter, Always a Bridesmaid…

Breaking News! Fox Bounces The Juice and Brings In The Scooter; OJ Out, Libby In, As Fox Looks To Make Lemonade Out Of Their Lemons; Reagan Snares Cheney Aide For “If I Leaked ...” Special; No Hush Money But Donation Made To Defense Fund

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard Last Night At Scooter Libby Fundraiser


Scooter, you'll need to keep that pondering pose for, about, another year ...

Left Off Medal of Freedom Recipient List, Libby Said To Be "Crushed"

Cheney Said To Be Furious, Threatens To Expose Shadow Presidency If Pardon Doesn't Come Through

Sources tell The Garlic this morning that there are new, hostile divisions deep inside the White House.

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, commuted from his felony conviction in the Plame Leak Case, was said to be "despondent and crushed" after seeing the list of Medal of Freedom recipients released by the President yesterday.

Libby, according to a West Wing staffer, called Vice President Dick Cheney, and in tears, expressed his disappointment to his former boss, of not being awarded one.

Cheney was said to be furious, reacting angrily and threatened to expose the Shadow Presidency he has been conducting.

Cheney reportedly called the President, "barking at him" and demanded to know, if Libby was not receiving a Medal of Freedom award, when was his pardon coming through.

"We were sure Scooter was going to get one." whined Mary Matalin (Editor's Note: Whining is Ms. Matalins' natural way of speaking), a Libby friend and former colleague, as well as one of the chief fundraisers for Libby's defense.

"I mean, he gave one to Tenet, for God sakes!"

When asked for comment, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino indicated she didn't know anything about the Medal of Freedom awards, or how the list was developed.

"However," she added, "I believe that there are certain health benefits to not receiving one."

Libby is, reportedly, in talks with the Fox News Network as to developing a new show, tentatively titled "Are You Smarter Than a Convicted, But Commuted, Former White House Official?"

Bonus Scooter Links

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Tim Russert Didn't Ask Scooter Libby About Joe Wilson and His Wife

Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.

Letters Cast Light on Cheney's Inner Circle; Dozens of Prominent Figures and Insiders Praise Libby as Fundamentally Decent








"We were sure Scooter was going to get one,." whined Mary Matalin. "I mean, he gave one to Tenet, for Godsakes!"

Breaking News! Thompson Responds To FEC Charge, Claiming He's Now Moving Into "Testing Executive Privilege" Phase

Also Invokes "The Cheney Principle", Saying "He's Not Part of The Campaign"

"They can't lay a debutante's glove on me," growled Fred Thompson, former Senator and actor.

Reporters caught up to Thompson this evening, just as he had parked his red pick-up truck, and was about to climb into his sweet silver luxury sedan, asking for a reaction to the Federal Election Commission complaint filed against him today, by blogger and activist Lane Hudson.

"They got spit", bellowed Thompson, as the gaggle of reporters spoke over each other, while the former Nixon snitch buffed his cowboy boots with a $100 bill.

Lane's complaint, filed yesterday, alleges that Thompson, and his Fred Thompson for President Exploratory Committee, have violated, at minimum, 11 FEC statutes dealing with "testing the waters" provision of FEC law.

The charges include violations of fund raising, advertising, and the securing of property for campaign headquarters.

"They might be swinging their lassos, but they won't be roping this bull", snorted Thompson.

Thompson indicated he was confident of getting the Republican nomination and even more confident of being elected President, so "why don't just everybody stop pissing in the chicken coop".

Thompson related that "his people" will be filing paperwork with the FEC in the morning, claiming that "FTPEC" is will now be "testing Executive Privilege", which will "moot" any actions the FEC may be able to take against Thompson.

"They just can't touch it ... It's off limits ... They won't be allowed to issue any subpoenas."

Thompson said that in addition to the claim of "testing Executive Privilege", he will also cite the "Cheney Principle".

"I'm not really part of the campaign," said the possible candidate. "Well, the job of exploratory candidate is an interesting one, because you have a foot in both the campaign and not in the campaign.

Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride confirmed the Thompson position.

"We are confident that Thompson is conducting his campaign properly under the law," McBride said.

MSNBC 'Hardball' host Chris Matthews says "He'll beat this rap."

"He's a big, beefy guy", chortled Matthews. "He's a big, beefy, mature guy, with sex appeal... Those types don't get tripped up in these little dust-ups ... He's Big Daddy ...Ha! ... He walks into the court, or the hearing room, or whatever and the judge, the commissioner ... Whoever ...They smell the English Leather on this guy ... The Aqua Velva ... That mature man's shaving cream ... With a little bit of cigar smoke mixed in ... Ha! ... You know the type ... He walks out of there without a scratch ...

Matthews was filling in for Thompson advisor, Mary Matalin, who the campaign hasn't quite solved how to utilize Matalin's experience, but without scaring the bejeezes out of everybody.

More as this story develops

"They might be swinging their lassos, but they won't be roping this bull", snorted Thompson