Monday 11 July 2005

London Bombings Force Blair To Name Own Axis of Evil

Bush Upset; May Sue In International Court To Force Name Change

A rift has developed between British Prime Minister Tony Blair and American President George Bush, following a heated meeting at the recent G8 Summit, in which, following the terrorist bombings in London, Blair advised Bush that he will soon announce his own 'Axis of Evil'.

Once spoken of being "staunch allies" of each other, Bush was said to be furious with Blair, according to sources at the summit.

Bush was overheard, shouting at Blair about copyright infringement and "messing up the whole plan".

It's not known when Blair will announce the British Axis of Evil, but it is rumored that France is on the list, for both historical and general reasons, as well as the recent insults offered by French President Jacques Chirac regarding British cuisine (see The Garlic, 7 July - London Wins Olympic Bid, But With A Catch )

When it became public, the White House snapped into action.

Chief Strategist Karl Rove immediately began researching members of parliament who had wives or husbands that may be undercover operatives of MI5, so he could leak that information to the British Press. Columnist Robert Novak volunteered to write the article for Rove, if necessary. Time Magazine also stepped in to say they stand ready to turn over any files and emails on the subject, if they write about it, should the case go to court.

Teams of White House lawyers began pouring through international law books on copyrights, malicious infringement of business and a host of other possible charges that can be pursued in court. One source indicated that, if they can't stop Blair from naming his own Axis of Evil list, they may be able to tie him up for years before he could implement and announce the list.

Senate Leader Bill Frist (R-TN), after spending the weekend viewing hours of videotape, including the DVD movies 'Chariot's of Fire' and 'Alfie' (the Michael Caine version), will present a resolution condemning Blair, and the British for "stealing United States military assets".

Blair, so far, has stood is ground, and with the full support of parliament. Blair's office released a new round of 'Downing Street Memos', showing there was some evidence the Bush Administration manipulated the data to come up with their version of an Axis of Evil list.

Sources close to Blair say that he hasn't ruled out placing the United States on the list, if President Bush doesn't tone down the rhetoric over it.

The White House released a statement over the weekend, that said, in part, changes to the Axis of Evil list would be forthcoming, and perhaps expanded.

"We've never been locked into just having three nations on the list", offered Scott McClellan, White House Spokesperson.

McClellan added, almost going out of his way to point out that the United States Axis of Evil list is the "official list".


IOC Dumps Baseball; Fewer HR's and Little Scandal Potential

New MLB Ban On Steroids Limits PR Effort of Games, IOC TV Time

Seeing that their television appearances may be limited in the 2012 Olympics Games, the International Olympic Committee, and the lack of homerun potential, the 2012 Games have dropped Baseball.

Members of the committee cited, with Major League Baseball's new crackdown on steroid use, there will likely be a decline in the number of homeruns hit, as is already occurring in MLB, and taking excitement out of a game most member nations already find lacking such.

Additionally, some members saw the lack of primetime television appearances. Without any steroid controversy, individual member and committee heads would see their media appearances, both for television and radio, decline

."We know from past experience", said one committee member, "that banning an athlete due to steroid use ups attendance at that event by more then 20%. We also get more television coverage due to the controversy, particularly if the athlete protests his-or-her innocence".

Officially, the IOC says the reason for dropping baseball and softball is part of an overall effort to downsize the Summer Olympics,
which has blossomed, from 4,100 athletes and 136 medal events in 1948 to more than 11,100 and 300 last summer. The IOC voted three years ago for a cap of 10,500 athletes and 301 events.

Baseball and softball were nearly cut-out from the Beijing Olympics' list (along with modern pentathlon in 2002) but IOC members felt, that with the games in China, there was enough potential controversy to keep them in. With China emerging in the world market, along a natural rivalry with Japan, a baseball-crazy nation, there'll be ample fireworks on-hand.

Major League Baseball was frantic upon receiving the news of being cut from the Olympics, fearing they will lose a key asset in their efforts to market baseball as a wholesome, family activity.

So desperate were they, according a source close to the Olympics, they offered an 11th-hour deal to guarantee Texas Ranger pitcher Kenny Rogers would be on the squad and he has agreed that he would abuse and rough up the international media.