Sunday, December 24, 2006

Twas The Night Before The New Congress

Editors Note: Our regular Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves is being replaced today with a Garlic Special, to commemorate the Christmas Holiday. What else could that be but to take a classic, tweak it and ... Well, we’ll let you decide ...

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Garlic Special: Twas The Night Before The New Congress

Twas the night before the New Congress, when all through the White House
Not a Neocon was stirring, not even the Decider-in-Chief, that louse
The plans to attack Iran were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that William Kristol would soon give a cheer

The Joint Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of surges danced in their heads.
And Laura in ‘kerchief, bemoaning Condi’s being mateless,
And I, plotting and scheming to avoid the press

When out in the Rose Garden there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew off my butt,
Tore open the shutters while thinking a new tax cut

The moon on the breast of the climate-warmed snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature Congress, and all Democrats, I fear

So lively and quick, was a big ol’ Bertha
I knew in a moment it must be John Murtha.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Nancy! Now, Harry! Now, Levin and Hoyer!
On, Connors! On, Waxman! On, Biden and their lawyer!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the Hurricane Katrina fly,
When they meet with a Signing Statement, alas, could only cry.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Subpoenas, one for Cheney too

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The boasting they had a handful of proof
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Big Murtha came with a bound

He had the look of grrr, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with lies and soot.
A bundle of Subpoenas he had flung on his back
And he looked like a prosecutor going after DeLay’s PAC

His eyes were on the WMD’s and how it was a slam dunk
And the intelligence and Niger and all the other junk
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
Now that my public opinion ratings are ever so low

The copy of the Constitution he held tight in his teeth,
Its clear law encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a serious face showing it was all biz
That shook and laughed when I countered I have the Math Whiz

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Rep,
And I laughed when I saw him, as he explained my misstep
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, with warrants from the House Clerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He warned not a CIA Agent should get exposed!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"God Bless America, everyone knows we are right!"

A Tip-of-the-Hat to

A sleigh, full of subpoenas, is heading their way

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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Happy Holidays To You