Thursday, October 01, 2015

Top Ten Cloves: Things Said Between Pope and Kim Davis

10.  Pope asked Davis if she could arrange meeting with Ronda Rousey for him

9.  Pope wanted to know how the food was in jail

8.  Argued about Deflategate (Davis saying Brady Cheated, Pope saying no he didn't)

7.  Compromise - Kim Davis told Pope she's willing to sign Alabama Driver's Licenses

6.  Pope curious if he's mentioned in any of Hillary Clinton's emails

4.  Pope asked her how she got 4 marriage licenses

3.  True Detective - both agreed new season sucks

2.  Pope asked if any gay priests applied for marriage licenses

1.  Kim Davis offered Pope cake from anti-gay Oregon bakers

Monday, September 28, 2015

Her Lips Are Moving

If we were playing 'Jeopardy' today, the correct response to the title of this post, would be the question "How can you tell when Carli Fiorina is lying?"

Arguing during the Sept. 16 GOP debate to defund Planned Parenthood, Ms. Fiorina offered this description of a disturbing scene that was supposedly captured on controversial undercover videos of the organization: “Watch a fully formed fetus on the table, its heart beating, its legs kicking while someone says we have to keep it alive to harvest its brain.” No such scene exists, as even some of her defenders have had to admit. Ms. Fiorina was challenged by Fox News Sunday anchor Chris Wallace to acknowledge “what every fact checker has found”: that the scene was only described by someone who claimed to have witnessed it but was not shown in the video.
Instead she insisted: “No, I don’t accept that at all. I’ve seen the footage.” She went on the attack against the mainstream media, and her supporters concocted a video that splices video and audio from different places in an effort to buttress her claims. Most deceptive in the CARLY for America video is use of an image (also used in the videos produced by the Center for Medical Progress) of a fetus born prematurely, not aborted, at 19 weeks of development. The premature birth by a Pennsylvania woman had no connection to Planned Parenthood or to abortion. That, though, didn’t stop Ms. Fiorina’s supporters from using it — with the voice-over and caption of “Here’s a stomach, heart, kidney, and adrenal” — to support specious allegations of Planned Parenthood selling fetal tissue for profit.

She's been doubling down on this so much for a few weeks now, she could probably campaign walking on HP printers stretched from coast-to-coast, and, yesterday, on 'Meet The Lapdog' she must be entering into Pi on how often she sputters this garbage.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Why Isn't Ted Cruz Arrested For Threatening To Kill A World Leader?

Simply astonishing.

If elected (bet on the snowball in hell beating him) the Joe-McCarthy-look-alike-Teabagger Wingnut Senator Ted Cruz will be stepping into arrestable grounds.

Ted Cruz said Friday at the Value Voters Summit conference in Washington, D.C., “If you vote for me, under no circumstances will Iran be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons. And if the ayatollah doesn’t understand that, we may have to help introduce him to his 72 virgins.”
We'll skip the irony of this gathering of PartyofNoicans being labeled "Value Voters".

It would appear the rabble-rousing Senator is ignorant of the 1978 law, banning political assassinations.

Executive Order 11905 is a United States Presidential Executive Order signed on February 18, 1976, by President Gerald R. Ford as an attempt to reform the United States Intelligence Community, improve oversight on foreign intelligence activities, and ban political assassination.[1][2] Much of this EO would be changed or strengthened by Jimmy Carter's Executive Order 12036 in 1978.
This came about from the post-Watergate mop up of National Criminal President Richard M. Nixon's enterprise, led by the Church Committee, of Senator Frank Church (D-ID), or the  United States Senate Select Committee to Study Governmental Operations with Respect to Intelligence Activities.

If the Idiot Senator was only joking ...

Well, considering the United States' history of assassinating World Leaders, and the need of Executive Order 11905 (which was reaffirmed by both Presidents, Carter and Reagan), it's not something to boast about as your qualifications for the Office of President.

Best advise I can offer to the threatened Ayatollah Khamenei is to Google Senator Ted Cruz, and have yourself a good laugh.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Drippings From The Drool Cup

Last night, the PartyofNoicans parked their clown car in the Ronald Reagan Drool Cup Shrine, and more than a few of the candidates channeled the former Union-busting President, rather awkwardly.

But the #GOPDebate, despite the calls to do so, didn't wipe the grease paint of Numero Uno clown, Donald Chump.

He's still standing, and holding down the three-rings, waiting to crack his whip at the next pail of confetti thrown at him.

Rather than wade into the nauseating details, we'll just offer some observational riffs.

Somebody in the Jeb! Bush! crew needs to sit the boy down and advise him to get as far away from his War Criminal brother as possible, rather then continuing to embrace and defend him.

In the back-and-forth over the Middle East, going into Iraq, Jeb! strenuously and vehemently shot back at The Donald, who was dissing his War Criminal brother that "He kept us safe ..."


Anyone can go to the Internets and find the War Criminal Brother ignoring the PDB about possible attacks, and on the day of attack, he was giving the most famous reading of "My Pet Goat".

But Jeb! wasn't the only one trying to milk Sept. 11th, Portly Chris Christie continued his exploitation of it, in a fighting-stance reply that he was a "tough Federal Prosecutor".

And Dr. Ben didn't do himself any favors by (rightly) defending the practice of Vaccines, and that they don't cause Autism, since the red-meat-eating, teabagging wing of the PartyofNoicans (who Dr. Ben ordinarily plays to) have that misfact carved in stone.

Ted Cruz should be disqualified from both the debates, and public office in general, just for the fact that he too-eerily resembles former pig-headed Senator Joe McCarthy, in looks and in policies.

Aside from Donald Chump, I suspect, as the day wears on, the ink barrels will be drained, declaring Carly Fiorina and Marco Rubio as gaining points last evening.

Carly, to be fair, likely got off the best single line of the night, taking a swipe at The Donald's riff about her falling off the Ugly Tree and hitting every branch, but, she's pissing up a rope if she's going to try to counter her business experience is better than his.

During her tenure, HP stood for "Help, Please", and the only one who got rich during that time was herself - for getting fired.

And Marco Rubio's family immigration story is beginning to resemble TBS on Christmas Day, and, if he happens to be the last clown in the car, and actually gets elected, he'll make Keyser Sozo look like a piker.

Winners of the Thanks For Coming/Bronzed Reagan Drool Cup go to Mike Huckabee (Onward Christian Soldiers, where do we sign up for the Crusades, Mike?), Scott Walker (the loser asshole Frat President who thinks everyone thinks he's cool and smart), Rand Paul ("Hey, over here ... Me. Me, ... I had my hand raised!") and John Kasich ("Can't we all just get along?")

The PartyofNoican Clown Car now heads to Colorado, three days before Halloween, and, about the only way it could be more fun, is if the candidates indulge themselves in some of that legal Colorado marijuana.

Sunday, September 06, 2015

Wrong Battle, Nitwits!

This is been said by many over the past few days, and, I'm confident there are thousand-and-thousand of scores of people out there that understand it as well.

Gods' Rebel Kim Davis is not in jail over her "Religious Freedom".

Religous Freedom is not under attack here.

No one is telling her she can't believe in what she believes ... No one is telling her what to believe in ... No one is forcing their "Religious Beliefs" on her.

If any of us, in whatever jobs we held, whatever beliefs we had, took the similar action (being, refusing to do our job, the job we accepted) we would surely be reprimanded, or disciplined, perhaps suspended or, even terminated.

She has a particular job that carrys with it certain tasks, duties and policies.

She chose - refused - to perform those tasks and duties, and the consequences she faces now are of her own doing, no one else.

What happened to the monolithic Conservative principle of "Personal Responsiblity"?

The Rowan County Board, or Supervisors, whoever oversees the employees of Rown County have some explaining to do ...

What happens if others in civic and/or government jobs took the same action as God's Rebel?
Does a fireman's "Religious Beliefs" allow him/her to stand there and watch a gay couple's (or pick the target of your "Religious Beliefs") house to burn down?
Does a policeman's "Religious Beliefs" allow him to stand by and watch a group of thugs beat up a gay couple?

The more rational out there need to prevent the Religious Conservatives, the Jesus Freaks, and the PartyofNoicans from hijacking this incident into making it a Cause it is not.

God's Rebel Kim Davis is in jail because she chose to defy a Court Order pertaining to her performing her tasks and duties.

That's what this is about.

No one is telling God's Rebel she can't believe in what she believes ... No one is telling her what to believe in ... No one is forcing God's Rebel their "Religious Beliefs" on her.

She chose not to perform her job, as she accepted when she was elected, and, following a court order to do so.

Let's turn the page on this quickly, before it gets to the point we have to call out:

Bonus Riffs

Thursday, September 03, 2015

Top Ten Cloves: Things Roger Goodell Did After Losing Case To Tom Brady

10.  Called Adrian Peterson, asking him to take that tree branch to Judge Berman's behind

9.  Emailed Netanyahu, trying to lump Brady into all this Iran Deal hoopla

8.  Starting Hastag movement: #NFLComissionersPowerMatters

7.  Hoping to get Donald Trump to toss a few insults at Tom Brady

6.  Looking closely at that woman in Kentucky, maybe can win appeal on "Religious Freedom" grounds

5.  Offer to New Orleans Saints: No penalties if they put bounty on Brady

4.  Called Ray Lewis, see if he and his crew were up for some work

3.  Ripped Ted Wells for not fabricating more evidence

2.  Went into deep funk - Lied about NFL Concussion problem so good, how'd he lose this one?

1.  Called Ray Rice, asked him to get Judge Berman in an elevator

Sunday, August 02, 2015

Top Ten Cloves: Things You Have Time To Do During A Ronda Rousey Fight

10.  Only enough time to reach into the popcorn bowl

 9.  Name about a third of the Presidents

 8.  Take but one, or two, swigs of your beer

 7.  Maybe enough time to think about judging a book by it's cover

 6.  Time to paint only one or two nails

 5.  Sit back, and if your are quick, get your feet up

 4.  Sing only half of the Alphabet Song

 3.  Put on one shoe
 2.  Spell Ronda Rousey

 1.  Write half of a Tweet