The Garlic: 07/26/2009

Saturday, August 01, 2009

The Tsunami To Come

Now, there may be other offers out there, but this is the first I have seen.

Laying on the sofa, veggin' out for a brief respite earlier today, a commercial popped on, pitching Michael Jackson Lithographs.

And the money line from it is this;

"... wearing a white suit, as pure as his heart ..."

Gag me!

And, you can get a "bonus" litho, of Michael shown in his "regal attire"

Guess, they need to cater to the freaks, as well ... Sort of, hit the span of fans ...

If this isn't the first, it surely is a sign of the tsunami of Jackson stuff to come ...

Bonus Jacko

Unconvicted Child Molester Summoned For His Judgement Day

Jacko Bombshell! ... Jackson Offers Embattled West To Be Mayor of Neverland ...Needs Experienced Help; 4-Year Contract, Regardless of Either Trial's Outcome

Send These Two Straight To The Front of The Instant Ignorant Dolt Line ...

Maybe they were just auditioning, for the remake of Dumb and Dumber, or Idiocracy II.

We don't need to spend a great deal of time (or energy) in bestowing Instant Ignorant Dolt titles on these two;

Officers Run Background Check On Obama; Placed On Leave

Two DeKalb County police officers have been placed on paid administrative leave after an investigation revealed they ran a background check on President Barack Obama.

A representative for the DeKalb County CEO’s office identified the officers as Ryan White and C.M. Route.

Officials said Obama’s name was typed into a computer inside a DeKalb County police car on July 20 and ran through the National Crime Information Center.

The secret service was immediately notified and contacted the DeKalb County Police Department.

A representative said both officers have been with the department less than five years.

A representative said one of the officers denied involvement.

An official investigation is being conducted by the DeKalb County Police Department’s Internal Affairs division.

It is unclear why the officers ran a check on the president.

"It is unclear why the officer ran a check on the president" ...

It's, almost, as if the DeKalb County Police representative was calling The Garlic, to point out this dynamic duo.

It such a concise, but fully explanatory, statement, close perhaps, if we actually handed out hardware to our IID's, that this could be the inscription engraved on it.

You're on leave now, so come on by, Ryan and Route, to pick up your Instant Ignorant Dolt gear.

Bonus Links

Steve M: JUST DOING WHAT THE LEADERS OF THE REBEL FORCES WOULD WANT THEM TO DO

Melissa McEwan: Dumbest Cops on the Planet?

Zandar vs. The Stupid: Next, Look Up George Washington

This Date ... On The Garlic

1 August 2007... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Bush Grindhouse Backs Up Letter With Wiretap Poll Showing Overwhelming Support For Gonzales; Massive Overnight Data Mining Rings In Big Number For Embattled Crony General; "They Want Him To Lie More"

Barry Crimmins ..."Support Our Dupes!"

Quick, Get Condi The Cliff Notes on al Qaeda ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

1 August 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal; Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone; Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Top Ten Cloves: Things President Bush Is Thinking About With The News Of Castro’s Illness

1 August 2005... On The Garlic

Bush To Give Bin-Laden Contract To Brits; Round-Up of London Global Extremists Impressive; U.S. To Bring In "Blair's Boys"

Congress Says Gun Makers Can Sue Victims; Extraordinary Bill Passed; NRA Happy But Wants More

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Why Hewlett Packard Stopped Selling the Apple iPod

Friday, July 31, 2009

Must Read! ... A Beer with Obama

John Kenney, over on 'The New Yorker', has a most humorous post up, riffing on last nights' Beer-and-Pony Show'

Here's a snip;

"A Beer with Obama"

The Oval Office. Late. President Obama sits across from Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., and Officer James Crowley, who share a couch. They sit amidst several empty beer bottles. No one’s wearing shoes.

[snip]

OBAMA: I like giving speeches. I like press conferences.

CROWLEY: You give a lot of press conferences. Maybe, like, too many?

GATES: I think he’s right. Maybe don’t give so many.

OBAMA: But you should see the speeches I have lined up. They’re all so…emotional. I’ve got a new one on infrastructure that quotes Rosa Parks for no reason. But it makes you cry.

There's much more, so go read John Kenney's "A Beer with Obama"... It's hysterical!

This Date ... On The Garlic

31 July 2008... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Iterations of New McCain Ad, Before Settling On Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and the Biggest Celebrity In The World

31 July 2005... On The Garlic

Israeli Pause, And No Bombs Falling, May Force Cable News To Go Dark; Look For Pump Up Of Mel Gibson Tirade To Carry Through Labor Day

Top Ten Cloves: How Joe Lieberman Handled New York Times Editorial Endorsing Ned Lamont

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Ain't Nobody's Business But My Own

We're giving into the, absolutely, oppressive humidity today, almost strong enough, not just to peel paint, but have it get up and book away.

However, we couldn't completely ignore the "Beer-and-Pony Show", at the White House this evening, uniting all the headliners of the Skip Gates - Sgt. Crowley Debacle, the cameras so trained on the table, as if waiting for it to explode.

Steve Clemons, over on The Washington Note, gets the "Post-of-the-Day", for, paying lip service to that, then detailing the soirees he will be attending this evening, and what he will be drinking, "at the National Geographic Society event featuring Philippines President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo ... Singapore Embassy to pay respects to Singapore Ambassador Chan Heng Chee ... the home of Australia Ambassador to the US Dennis Richardson who is throwing what probably will be the best party in DC tonight for the members of the Australian-American Leadership Dialogue ... the home of Yemen Ambassador to the US Abdulwahab Abdulla Al-Hajjri ..."

Nor, the bombshell baseball news today, that Manny-Being-Manny, and David Ortiz (Big Pop-Out, this year), were juiced, and doped up, in 2003, just at the beginning of the heralded Red Sox run, and march, to winning the 2004 World Series.

There's been a full-scale, DefCon5 call for all oral surgeons to report to Boston, to fix the dropped jaws of the scores-of-thousands in Red Sox Nation.

I guess, when you're battling against a 86-year-old curse, you gotta go outside the box, so to speak.

All the more burning to those die-hard Fenway Faithful, since the list of 100+ was to kept secret.

For the confluence of both of these happening today, we turn it over to the whimsical vocals of Taj Mahal, with this old classic;

Ain't Nobody's Business But My Own - Taj Mahal

This Date ... On The Garlic

29 July 2008... On The Garlic

Why Do You Think We've Been Calling Him "Stumblin' and Bumblin"?

Good Post Alert: Unitarian Forgiveness

30 July 2007... On The Garlic

Swedish Film Icon Ingmar Bergman Dead At 89 ; Police Depressed, Working Through Emptiness, Not Ruling Out Foul Play

30 July 2005... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Are The Brewster Sisters Running The GOP?

Man, I don't know if shooting out an Instant Ignorant Dolt Award is fast enough for these people.

My God, if this isn't classic, and unmitigated, Obama Derangement Syndrome ... Elected members of Congress, unfiltered, unabashedly, and unbridled, actually going out and promulgating, declaring in public, that the President Obama, and the Democrats', Healthcare Plan paves the way for the government to kill elderly people.

Last Friday, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX), appeared on Wingnut Alex Jones' radio show;

During the 30-minute interview about “nation ending stuff,” Gohmert used his opportunity on the Jones show to showcase his own odd anti-Obama conspiracy theories:

GOHMERT: We’ve been battling this socialist health care, the nationalization of health care, that is going to absolutely kill senior citizens. They’ll put them on lists and force them to die early because they won’t get the treatment as early as they need. [...] I would rather stop this socialization of health care because once the government pays for your health care, they have every right to tell you what you eat, what you drink, how you exercise, where you live. [...] But if we’re going to pay 700 million dollars like we voted last Friday to put condoms on wild horses, and I know it just says an un-permanent enhanced contraception whatever the heck that is. I guess it follows that they’re eventually get around to doing it to us

WOW!

Does Gohmert actually believe that the Government is going to line up elderly people and have them killed, or is he just expressing a most inner base fear of being raped by a wild horse, perhaps, or perhaps not, wearing a government-supplied condom?

So, there's one Instant Ignorant Dolt crown for Louie Gohmert, and we now turn our attention to a person who already has had the thrill of waking down the aisle as an Instant Ignorant Dolt.

Rep. Virginia Foxx

This week, Rep.Foxx is letting the jack-in-the-box out of her skull again;

Rep. Foxx: The Republican plan would "make sure we bring down the cost of health care for all Americans and that ensures affordable access for all Americans and is pro-life because it will not put seniors in a position of being put to death by their government."

Rep. Foxx Says Health Care Reform Will Cause Seniors To Be "Put To Death By Their Government"

Lackawannabes ... The Bunch of 'Em!

This is a post we intended to get up earlier in the week

We've slowly entered into the zone, of thinking about what stopped The Shadow President, Dick Cheney, from using one of his assassination teams, to take out The Commander Guy.

Afterall, he nearly deep-sixed his hunting buddy there, a few years ago, and with that, he wasn't even really trying very hard.

Look at all the opportunities he had, if not in the White House, itself, then down on the ranch, with all the time Mr. Ek-A-Lec-Tic Reading Man spent there.

A mortal bicycle mishap, a freak drowning, and the clearing brush horrible accident, all things that the Cheney Death Squad could pull off, without raising an eyebrow as to it being anything but tragic.

I mean, Mr. Court-Appointed President (H/T Barry Crimmins) seems, much like a Texas Inspector Clouseau, tripping all over himself, but in the process, totally upsetting, and ruining, the dastardly plans of Cheney.

News broke on this last Friday (but got pushed off the radar by The Birthers, and The Blue Dogs), how it was given to debate of using the U.S. Military to shuffle off to Buffalo, and round-up a group of wannabe terrorists, the people that became known as the Lackawanna Six.

Well, it wasn't so much a debate, but rather, Shadow President Cheney looking to take a long piss on the Constitution.

From the NYT;

Some of the advisers to President George W. Bush, including Vice President Dick Cheney, argued that a president had the power to use the military on domestic soil to sweep up the terrorism suspects, who came to be known as the Lackawanna Six, and declare them enemy combatants.

[snip]

A decision to dispatch troops into the streets to make arrests has few precedents in American history, as both the Constitution and subsequent laws restrict the military from being used to conduct domestic raids and seize property.

The Fourth Amendment bans “unreasonable” searches and seizures without probable cause. And the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878 generally prohibits the military from acting in a law enforcement capacity.

Yeah, and guess who The Shadow President got to say it would be okay - None other than the Crony General, and Mr. Torture, John Yoo.

And here's Professor Jonathan Turley, on 'Countdown' Monday evening, with guest host Lawrence O'Donnell.

Constitution no obstacle for Cheney ... Prof. Jonathan Turley talks about allegations that Dick Cheney sought to deploy U.S. troops in Buffalo, N.Y. to arrest the Lackawanna 6.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Now, it would sure be nice, to see President Obama, come alive, with fire and animation, the way he did responding to the Skip Gates - Officer Crowley Debacle, with holding The Bush Grindhouse accountable for their crimes.

If we don't see perp walks and indictments before the end of this first term, then he doesn't, no matter what else he succeeds at, deserves a second.

Bonus Links

Glenn Greenwald: The Cheney plan to deploy the U.S. military on U.S. soil

Steven D: Thank God Bush Was Lazy

Zandar vs. The Stupid: It's Just A Goddamn Piece Of Paper

This Date ... On The Garlic

29 July 2008... On The Garlic

Retro Garlic: Is Monica Goodling Just Like Batman?

29 July 2006... On The Garlic

Special Essay - 2006: A Second-Quarter Scorecard from Barry Crimmins

29 July 2005... On The Garlic

Spitzer Now Sets Sights On Crayola Scandal; Says Could Be Bigger Than Sony Case; Charges Company With Predatory Practices

Boy Scouts Fall For Bush - Literally 300 Felled By Heat After Presidential Blow-Off

Top Ten Cloves: What Congress Will Do During It's August Recess

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Retro Garlic ... How Much Is That Michael Vick In The Window ...

You might as well start an office pool, betting on which announcer, or analyst, covering a game in which the newly-chastened Michael Vick is playing in, a close game, going down to the wire, and utters "We got a real dog fight here today."

Or, some banal comment, for a game played in Cleveland, about Vick needing to stay away from "the dawg pound."

That is, of course, if the most notorious Dogfighting producer gets to play in the NFL again.

ESPN reports;

Michael Vick is back in the NFL. Now all he needs is a team to play for.

Vick, free after serving 18 months in prison for running a dogfighting ring, was reinstated with conditions by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Monday.

Vick can immediately take part in preseason practices, workouts and meetings and can play in the final two preseason games -- if he can find a team that will sign him. A number of teams have already said they would not.

Once the season begins, Vick may participate in all team activities except games, and Goodell said he would consider Vick for full reinstatement by Week 6 (Oct. 18-19) at the latest.

Hmmm ...

Aside from the obvious PR two-step any team will have to perform, they're looking at a guy, 29-years-old, having sat out two-years, and may have to sit out the first six-weeks of the season.

I wouldn't be expecting a stampede of NFL General Managers running towards Vick, with crumpled contracts balled up in their fists.

Exactly what Paul Needell, of the New Jersey's 'The Star-Ledger' says;

Breathtakingly effective as a runner but erratic -- often terrible -- as a passer. Add to that scouting report that he's now 29 and comes with all kinds of public-relations baggage and you get a mystifying part of the equation. More mystifying than how much longer Vick might have to sit in '09.

Add to that, Reid Cherner & Tom Weir's assessment, in 'USA Today';

He wasn't that much of a factor in his final two seasons of 2005-06, when the Falcons went 15-16 with Vick as a starter.

He has had one season where his passer rating was plus-80. He was drilled for 45 sacks in 2006, and his completion percentage has never topped 56.4% for a season.

Yes, he did rush for an astounding 1,039 yards in 2006, but after two seasons off can his wheels still roll like that? And is there a team that wants its quarterback running that much?

While it may be that Vick doesn't see it this way, and believes he can come back into the league with a full head of steam (which Cherner and Weir offer a link, to Top 10 Most Disappointing Comebacks, and RealClearSports is wrong to have Bob Cousy on the list; Cousey, frustrated with the team he was coaching, the Cincinnati Royals, activated himself, drawing the ire of Red Auerbach, who demanded compensation, since Cousy retired from the Boston Celtics in 1963; RealClearSports could have posted one of the great bar stumpers of all-time - Who is the only person that can say he was traded for Bob Cousy? ... Try Bill Dinwiddie), he is, as we referenced above, chastened;

Vick has already taken steps to rebuild his image.

He met with the president of the Humane Society of the United States while serving his federal sentence at Leavenworth, Kan. He plans to work with HSUS in a program designed to steer inner city youth away from dogfighting. He was not permitted to work with the program while in custody.

Ed Sayres, president of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, said the organization hopes Vick "rises to the occasion and proves worthy of the rare second chance Commissioner Goodell has granted him."

"Opportunities for redemption are rare -- but that is exactly the opportunity that awaits Mr. Vick," he said.

Well, we do like second-chance opportunities, and for us today, that means a Retro Garlic, to what turned out to be one of our most popular posts;

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Next Door Neighbor May Be Conducting Illegal Dogfights

Bonus NFL Football Riffs

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge ...Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Reasons Peyton Manning Threw Six Interceptions Last Evening

Developing Story! Tancredo: Shut Down Super Bowl; Says Two Black Coaches "Amounts To Segregation" ... Appeals To NFL Commissioner To Make Big Game "Color-Blind"; Biden Weighs In, Backs Coaches

Top Ten Cloves: Things Brett Favre Can Expect On His Return To The Green Bay Packers

Bonus Bonus

With the title we gave this, we couldn't resist ...

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window - Patti Page

This Date ... On The Garlic

28 July 2008... On The Garlic

A Little More Whine, A Little Less Facts ...

Boy, That Karma Thing Works Fast ...

Good Read - Baseball's Greatest Scandal ... It Wasn't Steroids

28 July 2007... On The Garlic

Breaking News! "That's al-Qaeda Talking" On Riff Between Maliki And Golden Boy General; President Blaming Terror Group; Claims Classified Wiretap Program Shows Scripted Dialog Given To Iraqi PM

28 July 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things About The Democrats Call for a New Direction and “Six-For-06”

28 July 2005... On The Garlic

New Bush Cry: Let Us Beat Them! Administration Fights, Lobbies To Keep Inhumane Interrogations

Top Ten Cloves: Retirement Advice That Is Being Given To Lance Armstrong

Monday, July 27, 2009

Well, It Hasn't Really Been A Vacation ...

Good Evening Garlic Fans;

We trust that you are, wherever you are, hopefully, enjoying the Summer season (it's, finally, heated up here in the Northeast, big-time).

As you have seen, we have posted very lightly over the past week.

Not necessarily planned, more so, just the confluence of a few different factors, including the above-referenced heat, taking care of some things on the homefront, and, the arduous task of, while continuing to juggle things, recharge the batteries.

We may go light again this week, make it a more official break, but don't bet the house on that.

Too much is going on, to sit on the sidelines

So, keep popping in, to see if we do have any surprises.

And, as always, a thousand-and-one thanks for reading The Garlic.

Peace
JTD

Bonus Bonus

Fortunately, we found this old favorite out on-line, to help with the chill-down stuff ...

Herbie Mann - Comin' Home Baby