Retro Garlic: "Google Wallet" ...We Were Close

We espied news today that Google will be introducing their long-teased "Google Wallet", an application for cellphones;

While this will be the official launch, the product itself will likely still be quite limited. The only officially compatible phone is the Nexus S 4G, which is only available on Sprint in the U.S. Google has an NFC sticker product to bring tap-and-pay to other phones, but it’s not clear if that will be ready at launch or not. Hardware to enable the payments on the merchant end is also needed. And again, MasterCard has been the only official partner on the credit card side of things so far. Perhaps Google will have more to say on that tomorrow. But the above documentation still points to PayPass-enabled Citi MasterCards as the only way to use the service for now.


It also makes sense for Google to get Wallet out there now before their next flagship Android phone, the Nexus Prime, launches next month. It too will have NFC capabilities built in and will bring the Wallet functionality to the much larger Verizon customer base.

Oh boy!


Can't wait for those news reports to pile up about these "Google Wallets" being hacked ...


And, the Retro part;


Tuesday, June 21, 2005 - Google Drops Bombshell - Will Compete With U.S. Treasury ...Markets Close Early and Troops Activated; eBay Said To Be Dumping PayPal

A day after news leaked of the 'Google Wallet', a pay system said to rival eBay's PayPal, Google late yesterday afternoon dropped a bombshell when they announced they will begin a new monetary system for the United States and compete with the U.S. Treasury.


[snip]


In a memo provided to The Garlic, by a person close to Google who wishes to remain anonymous, or would otherwise be terminated, shows that Google's money units will be called "Googlets" For higher denominations, a hyphen and Roman Numeral is added.


Ten Dollars in Googlets will be known as 'Googlets-X', $20, as "Googlets-XX, and so on. For odd denominations, a combination of Roman Numerals and regular numbers will be employed, such as $7 as 'Googlet-V2 or $23 as 'Googlet-XX3. There will be no metal coins in the Googlet Monetary System.

Oh well, we were close ...


 




Bonus Retro Garlic Google


Garlic Exclusive! ...Google Launches Search for Famed Woman Aviator


Stymied By Publishers, Google To Digitize Bazooka Joe Comics ...If Impasse Prolonged, Google To Continue With Baseball Cards, Shopping Coupons


Breaking News! Giant Search Engine Downed By GOP and RNC Staffers  ...Google Crashes! Besieged With “I’m Feeling Lucky” Searches From White House, Congress   ...Amazon, D.C. Novelty Stores Hit With Run On Magic 8-Balls


Top Ten Cloves: Other Great Things You'll Get Using Google's New Retooled Search Engine


Top Ten Cloves: Ways Google Can Provide Better Day Care


Life Imitates Art ... Or, Did Burt Lancaster Invent Google Earth?

Retro Garlic: Seriously Guys, Check Out The Jetsons

What are they smoking down there, at the Pentagon?

Are they still celebrating Weed Day?

Less than a week ago, we brought you the head-scratcher of the obscene amount of money being thrown into developing a flying car.



Today, it another WTF;

Air Force Launches Secretive Space Plane; ‘We Don’t Know When It’s Coming Back’

The Air Force launched a secretive space plane into orbit last night from Cape Canaveral, Florida. And they’re not sure when it’s returning to Earth

[snip]

The Air Force has fended off statements calling the X-37B a space weapon, or a space-based drone to be used for spying or delivering weapons from orbit. In a conference call with reporters, deputy undersecretary for the Air Force for space programs Gary Payton, space programs did acknowledge much of the current mission is classified. But perhaps the most intriguing answer came when he was asked by a reporter wanting to cover the landing as to when the X-37B would be making its way back to the planet.

“In all honesty, we don’t know when it’s coming back for sure,” Payton said.

Payton went on to say that the timing depends on how the experiments and testing progress during the flight. Though he declined to elaborate on the details. The vague answer did little to quell questions about the ultimate purpose of the X-37B test program.

A classified program, and a flying space plane, with the slightly ominous name of X-37B, it's likely a safe bet it's not a benign skywriter.

Hmmm ...

Don't know when the plane will land ...

I guess we'll have to hip the Pentagon again.

The Retro Part

Why Don't They Just Watch The Jetsons?

The Jetsons had flying cars, and, they knew when, and where, they were going to land.

It's back-engineering boys, back-engineering ...

Holy Toledo!


Bonus Links

Gordon Lubold: Air Force to launch X-37 space plane: Precursor to war in orbit?

Air Force Space Command: Air Force officials launch Atlas V carrying X-37B Orbital Test Vehicle

Michael Evans: Launch of secret US space ship masks even more secret launch of new weapon

Retro Garlic: Hey, We Had That Idea First!

This isn't the first time a news event has converged with something we had here on The Garlic, and, we love it, everytime it happens.

Today's installment is a doozy!



Could Airborne Bears Catch Bin Laden?

Could parachute-wearing bears sniff out Osama bin Laden?

That's one suggestion the Pentagon has received from someone who noted, quite correctly, that a bear's sense of smell is much more powerful than a bloodhound's.

"Overnight, Parachute some bears into areas [bin Laden] might be," the innovator wrote. "Attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing."

The bears-in-the-air idea, and scores of others, came from people who clicked on the "contact us" button on the Defense Department's Web site, which allows the general public to ask questions or make suggestions.

Not that the Pentagon needs any particular help in the idea department. Not long ago, for example, the agency spent $2 million to find out whether honey bees could be relied upon to sniff out roadside bombs.

Go check out the article, as there is more off-the-wall suggestions.

And, we should note, perhaps, inadvertently, the Pentagon let out a clue to a long-standing problem.

There were experimenting with honeybees?

Ah, yes, The Retro Part;

Developing Story - Polar Bears Added To Iraq Options ...Bush Administration Wavering On Polar Bears; Considering Employing In Iraq, War Against Terror ...Rove Claims He Also Has “The Science”, Says Bears “Will Do Fine In Desert Heat”

Bonus Riffs

Andrew Sullivan: Colbert Bait

Balk, at The Awl: Send In The Ursine Parachute Brigade!

Breaking News! ... With DisneyBaghdad, Bush Says “Nobody Wins Hearts and Minds Better Than Disney ...Disney, With Secret Contract, Working With White House, Military On Building Baghdad Moats ...‘Pirates of the Caliphate’, Other Attractions To Mask Security Measures; State Dept. Touts “DisneyBaghdad Will Pay For Itself”

Retro Garlic: We Called It, On The Terrorist-Killing Bears!

Once again, almost unfathomably, life has imitated The Garlic

We've had a handful of these instances, and on Tuesday, yet another.

Bear kills militants in Kashmir

A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

The militants had assault rifles but were taken by surprise - police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.

It is thought to be the first such incident since Muslim separatists took up arms against Indian rule in 1989.

"Police found the remains of pudding ..."

I guess, despite all those terrorist training films, of jumping jacks and jungle gyms, the boys never gathered around the campfire, to read "Goldilocks and the Three Bears".

They would have know, the bears would be pissed off to find "pudding", instead of porridge.

Michael Stickings, over on The Reaction noted;

Oops. Not a smart move. How can these militants be expected to take over Kashmir if they can't even run their own cave without, you know, getting killed by a bear?

Don't they watch Animal Planet over there?



Anyway, here's the The Retro Part, from late 2006;

Developing Story - Polar Bears Added To Iraq Options ... Bush Administration Wavering On Polar Bears; Considering Employing In Iraq, War Against Terror ...Rove Claims He Also Has “The Science”, Says Bears “Will Do Fine In Desert Heat”

Retro Garlic ... How Much Is That Michael Vick In The Window ...

You might as well start an office pool, betting on which announcer, or analyst, covering a game in which the newly-chastened Michael Vick is playing in, a close game, going down to the wire, and utters "We got a real dog fight here today."

Or, some banal comment, for a game played in Cleveland, about Vick needing to stay away from "the dawg pound."



That is, of course, if the most notorious Dogfighting producer gets to play in the NFL again.

ESPN reports;

Michael Vick is back in the NFL. Now all he needs is a team to play for.

Vick, free after serving 18 months in prison for running a dogfighting ring, was reinstated with conditions by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell on Monday.

Vick can immediately take part in preseason practices, workouts and meetings and can play in the final two preseason games -- if he can find a team that will sign him. A number of teams have already said they would not.

Once the season begins, Vick may participate in all team activities except games, and Goodell said he would consider Vick for full reinstatement by Week 6 (Oct. 18-19) at the latest.

Hmmm ...

Aside from the obvious PR two-step any team will have to perform, they're looking at a guy, 29-years-old, having sat out two-years, and may have to sit out the first six-weeks of the season.

I wouldn't be expecting a stampede of NFL General Managers running towards Vick, with crumpled contracts balled up in their fists.

Exactly what Paul Needell, of the New Jersey's 'The Star-Ledger' says;

Breathtakingly effective as a runner but erratic -- often terrible -- as a passer. Add to that scouting report that he's now 29 and comes with all kinds of public-relations baggage and you get a mystifying part of the equation. More mystifying than how much longer Vick might have to sit in '09.

Add to that, Reid Cherner & Tom Weir's assessment, in 'USA Today';

He wasn't that much of a factor in his final two seasons of 2005-06, when the Falcons went 15-16 with Vick as a starter.

He has had one season where his passer rating was plus-80. He was drilled for 45 sacks in 2006, and his completion percentage has never topped 56.4% for a season.

Yes, he did rush for an astounding 1,039 yards in 2006, but after two seasons off can his wheels still roll like that? And is there a team that wants its quarterback running that much?

While it may be that Vick doesn't see it this way, and believes he can come back into the league with a full head of steam (which Cherner and Weir offer a link, to Top 10 Most Disappointing Comebacks, and RealClearSports is wrong to have Bob Cousy on the list; Cousey, frustrated with the team he was coaching, the Cincinnati Royals, activated himself, drawing the ire of Red Auerbach, who demanded compensation, since Cousy retired from the Boston Celtics in 1963; RealClearSports could have posted one of the great bar stumpers of all-time - Who is the only person that can say he was traded for Bob Cousy? ... Try Bill Dinwiddie), he is, as we referenced above, chastened;

Vick has already taken steps to rebuild his image.

He met with the president of the Humane Society of the United States while serving his federal sentence at Leavenworth, Kan. He plans to work with HSUS in a program designed to steer inner city youth away from dogfighting. He was not permitted to work with the program while in custody.

Ed Sayres, president of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, said the organization hopes Vick "rises to the occasion and proves worthy of the rare second chance Commissioner Goodell has granted him."

"Opportunities for redemption are rare -- but that is exactly the opportunity that awaits Mr. Vick," he said.

Well, we do like second-chance opportunities, and for us today, that means a Retro Garlic, to what turned out to be one of our most popular posts;

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Next Door Neighbor May Be Conducting Illegal Dogfights

Bonus NFL Football Riffs

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge ...Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Reasons Peyton Manning Threw Six Interceptions Last Evening

Developing Story! Tancredo: Shut Down Super Bowl; Says Two Black Coaches "Amounts To Segregation" ... Appeals To NFL Commissioner To Make Big Game "Color-Blind"; Biden Weighs In, Backs Coaches

Top Ten Cloves: Things Brett Favre Can Expect On His Return To The Green Bay Packers


Bonus Bonus

With the title we gave this, we couldn't resist ...

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window - Patti Page

Retro Garlic: A Doozy ... David Brooks Gets Creepier

Oh man, this could only have happened on a Friday.

If the Sanford, Ensign, Palin, and Jackson circuses weren't enough for you, than enter, stage right, David Brooks, Rightwing Freak Show columnist for the NYT, seemingly (more on this below), with a bit of a buzz on, being interviewed on cable news.

David Brooks says a Republican senator groped his thigh at a dinner party



Whoa!

A Republican Senator with his hand on David Brooks' inner thigh?

Now, with that specific identification, one name that jumps out first is Larry Craig.

I mean, you can put together little, milquetoast, Wally Cox-like Brooks, either being intimidated, or, perhaps, excited, by big, burly, Larry "Wide-Stance" Craig feeling him up, maybe fantasizing hearing (later, of course) "You bad boy ... You naughty, boy ... You nasty, bad, naughty boy"

John Cole, at Balloon Juice, is hoping that it is "John Kyl or John Cornyn", while Libby Spencer, on her The Impolitic, is having a hard time containing herself - "It would be irresponsible not to speculate"



And, doesn't Brooks seem a bit too giddy?

Even host Nora O'Donnell sensed something amiss;

O’DONNELL: Can I ask one other question David? Do you think, what about female or women politicians? Are they dignified and are there examples of when they have not? Or does it tend to be the men who less dignified?

BROOKS: Yeah, I think that’s mostly a matter of genetics. I do think that…I do think there’s loneliness.

O’DONNELL: That was just a softball, David, and you really hit it very well.

BROOKS: Yeah, I wish I could think of sort of St. Bernards, sloppy women who are licking their aides, but but no, I can’t think of any.

HARWOOD: I’m not going there.

O’DONNELL: Did you have a couple drinks at lunch, David? I mean, this is clearly.

BROOKS: No, you’ve hit me…I’m trying not to be too dignified and stuffy.

Brooks not trying to be "dignified and stuffy", is like Bernie Madoff trying not to hustle clients - Doesn't happen!

And, as you will see, there may be much more to this, as The Garlic had the name "David Brooks" and "Creepy" tied together some time ago.

The Retro Part

PBS's Lehrer Admits Brooks "Body Language" Skills "Creeps Me Out" ... Reveals Uncomfortable With Columnist "Staring At Me" On-Set; Alludes "Toe-Tapping" Also Involved

Hmmm ...

Fascination with "body language" ... Another man's hand on his inner thigh ...

I don't know ...

Pretty creepy, there, David Brooks ...

Retro Garlic: Yeah, But Will He Be Getting Paid?

We missed out, chiefly due to events here on the homefront, the entire brouhaha, death snake dance of the Washington Post firing writer extraordinaire Dan Froomkin (often linked here on The Garlic).



It was a doozy, with the WAPO being egged and toilet-papered by a better part of the blogosphere.

Here's Paul Krugman;

Thus we still live in an era in which you have to have been wrong to be respectable. You’re not considered serious about national security unless you were for invading Iraq; you’re not considered a serious political analyst unless you spent the last 3 years of the Bush administration predicting a Republican comeback; you’re not considered a serious economic analyst unless you dismissed the idea that the Bush Boom, such as it was, rested on a housing bubble.

That’s why the firing of Dan Froomkin now makes a perverse sort of sense. As long as the right was in power, he was in effect the Post’s designated moonbat, someone who attracted readers but didn’t threaten the self-esteem of the self-perceived serious people at the paper. But now he looks like someone who was right when the serious people were wrong — and that means he has to go.

Glen Greenwald, Andrew Sullivan, dday, Jane Hamsher, The Raw Story, and Down With Tyranny all wailed on the WAPO, in similar fashion.

So, the clock was started, the wait was on, to see who would pick up, or, where Dan Froomkin would land.



Today, the buzzer went off - Huffington Post gets the wreath of roses.

Both Emptywheel, and Glen Greenwald broke with the news this morning.

Emptywheel, gleefully, with charts, noted that "So the WaPo wanted to silence Dan Froomkin. And instead, their stupid decision has led to Dan Froomkin getting hired by an outlet with greater online circulation than them."

Greenwald;

In yet another sign of how online media outlets are strengthening as their older establishment predecessors are struggling to survive, The Huffington Post has hired Dan Froomkin to be its Washington Bureau Chief and regular columnist/blogger. Froomkin will oversee a staff of four five reporters and an Assistant Editor, guide The Huffington Post's Washington reporting, and write at least two posts per week to be featured on its main page and Politics page. I learned last night of the hiring and spoke to both Arianna Huffington and Froomkin this morning.

[snip]

While this pairing is, in some ways, a natural one (even the Post Ombudsman suggested that "Web sites like The Huffington Post or Politico would seem a perfect fit"), there are also potential sources of tension. As a practitioner of what he calls "accountability journalism" -- "explaining how Washington works; pulling no punches" -- Froomkin has been a vehement critic of the Obama administration for the last several months, while The Huffington Post frequently trumpeted (some might say "cheerleading") the Obama campaign and even his presidency (though it has become mildly more critical of Obama in recent months; its screaming, red headline today: "White House May Cave on Public Option"). Will Froomkin's harsh criticisms of Obama alienate an Obama-loving HuffPost readership?

And given the central importance of Arianna Huffington's personal relationships with key media figures and those in power, will Froomkin's unrestrained criticisms of many of those same people undermine a key aspect of The Huffington Post's business and promotional strategies? Both Huffington and Froomkin insist that he will have full editorial freedom, though that commitment is often more easily embraced in theory than in practice.

Jamison Foser, at MediaMatters, has a good post up, taking a look at the ashes left at WAPO

And, Glynnis MacNicol, over on Dan Abram's new digs, Mediaite, offers "HuffPo Aiming For DC Dominance? Makes Room For Froomkin".

Here at The Garlic, we wonder about Froomkin getting a paycheck ... You know, with the unique Huffington Post's business model.

The Retro Part;

Breaking News! GM Cancels UAW In Favor of Adopting Huffington Post Business Model ... Celebrities, Auto Enthusiasts and Bloggers To Build Cars For Free; Huge Spike In Profits Forecast

Good Luck there Dan ... Hope you get a check, once-in-awhile ...

Maybe you can hip Arianna on how to use Google ...

Retro Garlic: The Vetting Paid Off

Every once in awhile, life imitates The Garlic.

While President Obama went off to the Middle East, for his Cairo Speech, than on to France, for D-Day events, it was on to Paris, for some playtime, and fine dining.

The Hill's Blog Briefing Room picked up on it, as did the AFP, however, we'll run with the ITN version;

President Barack Obama's food taster upsets chefs

Chefs at a top Paris restaurant were upset when US President Barack Obama sent his personal food taster into the kitchen to test his meal.

The incident occured at the chic La Fontaine de Mars restaurant when the President was dining with wife Michelle, President Nicolas Sarkozy and French First Lady Carla Bruni.

The Secret Service agent inspected a security-conscious Mr Obama's roast lamb and seasonal vegetables, a worker at the posh eatery revealed.

Waiter Gabriel de Carvalho, who said Mrs Obama and the Sarkozys all ate fillet of beef, added: "The President arrived with someone who tastes the dishes.

"The man, who appeared to be a Secret Service protection officer, waited in the kitchen while the chef prepared the meal for Mr Obama and his wife Michelle.

"Then he took a fork and tasted a tiny part of both meals before they were sent out to the President and his wife."

He added: "It wasn't very pleasant for the cooks at first, who are obviously very proud about their cooking.

"But they soon understood that it wasn't to test the quality of the dish, but only to ensure the food had not been poisoned in any way.

"The food tester was calm and relaxed and made light of it, so as to cause minimum offence.

"Clearly the food was fine and the president appeared to thoroughly enjoy his meal. All four of them said they had a wonderful meal and President Obama easily smoothed things over by personally thanking the chef afterwards."

Restaurant owner Jacques Boudon confirmed later: "We understand President Obama needs to have someone to test his food for security reasons. The chef understands and we are honoured at at our restaurant."

The Flying Monkeys started throwing feces on themselves over it, when, actually, it isn't uncommon, particularly when the POTUS is traveling in another country, for someone to check out the grub.

As for The Garlic, and The Retro Part, we had the jump on this, back in December;

Breaking ... Obama Team Vetting Food Tasters

Retro Garlic: Dana Perino's Glass Still Half-Full

Ah, it's almost as familiar, as ubiquitous, as comforting, as Linus's security blanket.

We speak of the brilliant, and brimming, intellect of former Bush Grindhouse mouthpiece, Dana Perino.



Satyam Khanna, at Think Progress caught her recent interview with Chip Reid, and our Glass-Half-Full Dana served up "An investigation would be a "political witch hunt," Perino said, claiming the interrogation program was actually "safe, effective, and legal."

Perhaps she hasn't noticed that she isn't working in The Bush Grindhouse any longer, that she actually can have days where the glass is half-empty, or, really go out on-a-limb, and go sans a glass, completely winging it.

Khanna also called her out, on Dana's little fib, of never saying she answered the question, if Waterboarding was torture;

Except Perino has weighed in on the issue, and all indications are that she has said that waterboarding is not torture. When repeatedly pressed by reporters on whether the Bush administration tortured, Perino consistently and robotically responded, "We do not torture." She uttered the phrase until the very end of her tenure, well after the CIA publicly admitted in February 2008 to waterboarding three detainees:

-- "Let me just make sure it's clear, and I'll say it on the record one more time, that it has never been the policy of this President or this administration to torture." [1/14/09]

-- "We did not torture." [11/18/08]

-- "The United States has not, is not torturing any detainees in the global war on terror." [4/23/08]

Maybe Dana is just staying in character, for her new gig, working with the man who "Blew the Presidency" for Hillary Clinton.

That's right, boys and girls, Half-Glass-Full Dana is now working for Mark Penn.

Let's hope, she can read maps better than Penn.

Oh yeah, The Retro Parts;

In Dana Perino's World, The Glass Is Always, and Perpetually, Half-Full

Top Ten Cloves: Other Surprising Things White House Press Secretary Dana Perino Doesn't Know

Bonus Half-Glass-Full Dana Riffs

Sam Stein - Perino: Bush Deserves Credit For Recent Market Uptick

Steve Benen: WHEN THE QUESTION PROVIDES THE ANSWER...

Ben Armbruster: Defending Cheney, Perino Says Americans ‘Had Input’ On Iraq War In 2004

Dorothy Rabinowitz, You Didn't Listen ...

Oh boy, do we ever need that Ass-O-Matic.

Nearly two years ago, we warned, we cautioned, Dorothy Rabinowitz, she of the Murdoch Street Journal, as she raved and ranted on how innocent Scooter Libby was, that it wasn't safe, it wasn't practical, for her to go around with her head stuffed up her ass, and, judging by today's column, she just didn't listen.

Rabinowitz's column today, well, it's almost as if she played "Mad Libs" with a Rush Limbaugh transcript, or, perhaps, the daily talking points from the PartyofNoicans, or Faux News.

It's all the running meme of the past week ...

Obama's "Apology Tour" ... Obama is making the country unsafe ... First, by shaking hands with Hugo Chavez, and then, coming home and spilling the beans, releasing the Bush Grindhouse Torture Memos ...

About the only thing Rabinowitz didn't place in the article was a ripe one about Obama's Birth Certificate.

It's so lame, it's so over-the-top, I don't want to provide any snips of it.

You can thank me, for not wasting any seconds, or minutes, of your time.

So ... Dororthy ... Again ...

Either pull your head out of your butt, or explain how you can still drink the Kool-Aid, with your head so far up there ...

Retro Garlic: Cirque de Military Analysts ... Pulitzer Prize Winner!

If we want to go Retro, in a STICKS-NIX-HICK-PIX way, we could have titled this as;

Propagandists Patter Produces Pulitzer

You can remember, just going back a year, or two, ago, when the Pentagon sprouted a cottage industry of dusting off, and sprucing up, their retired Generals, and such, putting them through vigorous training, to just stick to the Bush Grindhouse Talking Points, and then pointed them to every news, and cable news, studio, to go out and sell the Invasion and Occupation of Iraq, right?

And, those news networks, all of them, understood the wink-and-nod, giving those retired Generals, and such, titled, in reverence, as "Military Analysts", almost as much airtime as Pat Buchanan, even after it was brought to their attention that they were compromised, and propagandists, well, they weren't going to stand in the way of an army of old-times making a few bucks.

They had screens to fill, and endless airtime to keep churning out the Bush Grindhouse Talking Points, and who better to have beaming out of the nation's boob tubes, than a bunch of guys with a lot of ribbons on their chests and scrambled eggs on their epaulets, tossing around Militaryspeak, and keeping the morale of the country in full, technicolor, high-definition, jingoistic, flag-waving glory.



Well, pay day came this week.

But not for the propagandists, and, not for the networks.

It came to the investigative reporter, from the New York Times, who blew the cover off on this sweetheart sham-of-a-scam.

From Glenn Greenwald's "The Pulitzer-winning investigation that dare not be uttered on TV";

The New York Times' David Barstow won a richly deserved Pulitzer Prize yesterday for two articles that, despite being featured as major news stories on the front page of The Paper of Record, were completely suppressed by virtually every network and cable news show, which to this day have never informed their viewers about what Barstow uncovered. Here is how the Pulitzer Committee described Barstow's exposés:

Awarded to David Barstow of The New York Times for his tenacious reporting that revealed how some retired generals, working as radio and television analysts, had been co-opted by the Pentagon to make its case for the war in Iraq, and how many of them also had undisclosed ties to companies that benefited from policies they defended.

Jamison Foser, over on MediaMatters, asked (almost rhetorically), "Barstow wins Pulitzer for military analysts story; will networks notice?"

Greenwald details that answer, as does dday, over on Hullabaloo, in "See No Pulitzer, Hear No Pulitzer, Speak No Pulitzer";

Indeed, NBC and CNN's reporting on the Pulitzer winners carefully avoided any mention of Barstow's story. NBC even ran a separate piece last night using one of the "military analysts" of the type in the Pentagon pundits investigation. As Glennzilla asks, "Has there ever been another Pulitzer-Prize-winning story for investigative reporting never to be mentioned on major television -- let alone one that was twice featured as the lead story on the front page of The New York Times?"

Did I expect any different? No. But the parallel structure of the news these days - where the conversation in one corner bears absolutely no resemblance to the conversation in the other - is quite striking.

Oh yeah, here are The Retro Parts;

Empty Suits ... “I felt we’d been hosed" ...

Cirque de Military Analysts

Today's Must Read - The Military-Media Dog-and-Pony Show

Oh, and one more thing ...

Congratulations David Barstow!

Retro Garlic: Associated Idiots

I tell ya, we already brought attention to it, but when they do the casting call for the "Idiocracy, The Sequel" it is going to be enormously over-crowded.

For now, you have to have the Associated Press showing up for it.



A.P. Exec Doesn’t Know It Has A YouTube Channel: Threatens Affiliate For Embedding Videos

Here is another great moment in A.P. history. In its quest to become the RIAA of the newspaper industry, the A.P.’s executives and lawyers are beginning to match their counterparts in the music industry for cluelessness. A country radio station in Tennessee, WTNQ-FM, received a cease-and-desist letter warning from an A.P. vice president of affiliate relations for posting videos from the A.P.’s official Youtube channel on its Website. See update below.

You cannot make this stuff up. Forget for a moment that WTNQ is itself an A.P. affiliate and that the A.P. shouldn’t be harassing its own members. Apparently, nobody told the A.P. executive that the august news organization even has a YouTube channel which the A.P. itself controls, and that someone at the A.P. decided that it is probably a good idea to turn on the video embedding function on so that its videos can spread virally across the Web, along with the ads in the videos

I wish I could say I made this up, it so supremely, unbelievably, incredibly stupid.

We even gave thought, for a moment, of changing the name to our on-going series "Ignorant Dolts" to "Associated Idiots", or some such moniker.

The Retro part of this?

No AP Here!

Back last summer, the Associated Idiots were going around, dunning bloggers, firing warning shots, not to use AP content, if it wasn't paid for, regardless if it was only a paragraph, and with a link back to the original AP content.

Then, they tried to walk it back;

The Associated Press, kind of, realized, they screwed the pooch (Associated Press to Set Guidelines for Using Its Articles in Blogs"), which, is like calling someone an asshole, and then apologizing with "I'm sorry that you are an asshole".

So, to review, the Associated Idiots doesn't want their content used, or have their videos (complete with embedding code) posted.

I guess, they intend to pioneer the new frontier of journalism, and go with a rumors, or, a word-of-mouth campaign, to distribute their news.

Good luck to you on that, baby ...

And, don't forget to read your own content, keep your eyes peeled, for that "Idiocracy, The Sequel" call


Bonus "The Whole World Knows AP Screwed Up Royally" Riffs

John Aravosis (DC): AP is now threatening to sue people who embed AP's YouTube videos that, of course, have their own embed code that AP declined to turn off

Kos: AP ups stupidity quotient another 16,000 notches

Nicole Belle: AP Exec. Doesn't Know AP Has YouTube Account; Goes After AP Affiliate For Using AP Videos

Cory Doctorow: Associated Press threatens AP affiliate over YouTube channel

Retro Garlic: Bill Frist's Intern

We thought there had been only one doctor in the Senate.

Little did we know ...

Bunning: Justice Ginsberg likely will be dead in 9 months

U.S. Sen. Jim Bunning predicted over the weekend that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg would likely be dead from pancreatic cancer within nine months.

During a wide-ranging 30-minute speech on Saturday at the Hardin County Republican Party's Lincoln Day Dinner, Bunning said he supports conservative judges "and that's going to be in place very shortly because Ruth Bader Ginsburg … has cancer."

"Bad cancer. The kind that you don't get better from," he told a crowd of about 100 at the old State Theater.

"Even though she was operated on, usually, nine months is the longest that anybody would live after (being diagnosed) with pancreatic cancer," he said.

Earlier this month, it was reported that Justice Ginsberg was diagnosed, and underwent surgery, for pancreatic cancer.

Bunning, today, apparently pulled his head out of his ass, just far enough, to issue the requiste apology.

Steve Benen, over on Washington Monthy, offered up what should have been obvious to Bunning;

Note to Bunning: better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt.

The Retro Part

Frist Concurs With Vatican Diagnosis ... Viewed Videotape of Papal Apartment For Hours

Frist Distances Himself From Gitmo MD's ... Ethical Issues Reveled; Frist Says He's Never Made Exam or Viewed Tape


Bonus Bunning Bonehead Buffoonery

Jill from Brilliant at Breakfast: Nice. Real nice. Meet your soulless Republicans

Kathy at Comments from Left Field: Classless, Callous, and Stupid

Melissa McEwan: In the Grand Republican Tradition...

Jane Hamsher: High, Hard One or Low Blow? Jim Bunning Puts Justice Ginsburg in the Ground for Twenty-Five Bucks

Retro Garlic: Life Imitating The Garlic - U.S. Military Will Offer Path to Citizenship

Oh boy, do we love when this happens.

Numerous times, life and The Garlic have merged (you can look HERE and HERE).

Today, we have another Retro Garlic.

Actually, it should be a Retro-Retro Garlic, as we have riffed on this very topic previously.

Last night, we espied this headline;

U.S. Military Will Offer Path to Citizenship

Stretched thin in Afghanistan and Iraq, the American military will begin recruiting skilled immigrants who are living in this country with temporary visas, offering them the chance to become United States citizens in as little as six months.

We weren't sure if that strange sound we heard, simultaneously, was that of Lou Dobb's head exploding, or the Right Wing Freak Show running for their torches and pitchforks, which will surely be likely to occur.

I mean, what are they going to do with all that pent-up xenophobia and jingoism?

First they take our jobs, our seats in schools and clog up our hospitals, now they want to take over the military?

What will become of the Arizona Minutemen?... The thousands-of-miles wall?



Who wants the American dream, sprinkled with a little picante?

2012 and the Rule of Sarah can't come fast enough, heh?

More from the NYT article;

“The Army will gain in its strength in human capital,” General Freakley said, “and the immigrants will gain their citizenship and get on a ramp to the American dream.”

[Snip]

Pentagon officials expect that the lure of accelerated citizenship will be powerful. Under a statute invoked in 2002 by the Bush administration, immigrants who serve in the military can apply to become citizens on the first day of active service, and they can take the oath in as little as six months.

For foreigners who come to work or study in the United States on temporary visas, the path to citizenship is uncertain and at best agonizingly long, often lasting more than a decade. The military also waives naturalization fees, which are at least $675.

To enlist, temporary immigrants will have to prove that they have lived in the United States for two years and have not been out of the country for longer than 90 days during that time. They will have to pass an English test.

The Retro Part, from April 2006 ...

“They’re coming here for the American experience” ... Rumsfeld Weighs In On Immigration Battle; Won’t Tie It To War With Iran ... Suggests Army Recruiting Woes Could Be Solved With Mandatory Service By Illegal Aliens

In a freewheeling exchange with reporters this afternoon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld suggested that “a stint in the Army” would solve the immigration problem facing the country.

[Snip]

Asked a follow-up question, Rumsfeld said flatly, “Conscripts,”

“We simply make it a policy, if you want to enter this country, or, if we find out you’ve entered illegally, you serve a stretch in the Army, or go back to whatever village or bungalow you came from.”

[Snip]

“They’re coming here for the American experience”

‘That’s absurd,” Rumsfeld squinted. ““They’ll get three-squares-a-day and it pays a helluva lot better then picking lettuce, or grapes, or whatever it is they do ...”

“I mean,” added the Secretary, “they’re coming here for the American experience ... the American Dream ... What could possibly embody that more than by serving in your country’s armed forces?”

Asked if he, or the Pentagon, would make special accommodations for such illegal immigrants to enter the military, such as bi-lingual instructions, or the need for interpreters, Rumsfeld glared at the reporter.

“Now think about that for a second,” Rumsfeld shot back, dripping with disdain. “In the heat of battle, you, or some other bleeding-heart liberal, is going to expect the U.S. Army to issue dictionaries, with bullets flying overhead, and bombs bursting in front of you, so the commander of the unit can issue orders in two languages? What planet are you from?”

Rumsfeld said he would expect any such conscript to learn English, before they get to boot camp.

“I suspect a great many of them already speak English. The busboy at the restaurant I like to go to knows all the television shows ... the sports scores. Sure, he has an accent, but he speaks English fine.”

We can't say "we wished we made this stuff up."

We did.

Bonus Immigration Riffs

Bush Immigration Plan Gets "Some Influence" ... White House May Employ Lincoln Group In Border, Immigration Clash ...Unlike Iraqi Program, PR Firm Will Plant Anti-American Stories in Mexican Media

Top Ten Cloves: Problems The Illegal Immigrant Boycott Caused The White House Yesterday

Breaking News - Congress Said Will “Clean President’s Clock” On Immigration ... Bush Adds Color-Coded Border Alert Chart To Immigration Plan ...Neocons Upset With Shift In White House Strategy: Speech Offered No “Ties To Sadam ... Imminent Mushroom Clouds”

Ahmadinejad “Sort Of An Islamic Lyndon LaRouche”; Said To Have Made Offer To Mexico ...Ahmadinejad Claims Letter A Hoax, Cites Propaganda, Prelude To U.S. Invasion ...Other World Leaders Received Similar Tomes; Mexico Offered Iran National Guard Deployed on Their Side of Border

Retro Garlic: Deep Throat Now Goes Deep Six ... Mark Felt Obit

We had the "BREAKING NEWS" this morning, that the infamous icon of the Watergate Scandal, Mark Felt, aka "Deep Throat", passed away - at the age of 95.

Obituaries - 'Deep Throat' Mark Felt Dies at 95

W. Mark Felt, Watergate Deep Throat, Dies at 95

Leaving aside the "breaking news" aspect of it, it was heady times, the all-consuming early 70's, when the man who was a crook, President Richard Nixon, was doing a soft-tap dance on the laws of the nation, and Constitution (as opposed to the sledgehammer The Bush Grindhouse has taken to it), and the FBI Agent Felt would soon make two young reporters, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, mega-journalistic superstars.

Adding to the intrigue of "Deep Throat" was the agreement that he would not be revealed until his death.

Well, that got blown a couple of years ago.

Felt wasn't dead, but pretty far gone with dementia, and memory-loss.

So, it was "BREAKING NEWS" when Felt was identified as being the ever-mysterious "Deep Throat", ending the decades-old guessing game.

Who Is W. Mark Felt? ...Man Who Admits to Being 'Deep Throat' Breaks His 30-Year Silence

DEEP THROAT REVEALED

And when that news broke, we had a number of days here on The Garlic, where we had quite a bit of fun with it, hence, a Retro Garlic today.

The Retro Part

Top Ten Cloves: Things G. Gordon Liddy Would Like To See Happen Now That "Deep Throat" Is Exposed

News In Brief - Haig Stood In-The-Ready If Felt Backed Down; Former Nixon Staffer Okay To Take "Deep Throat" Rap

More Revelation Bombshells ... Felt Admits To Being 'You're So Vain' Target; Simon Confirms "Brief Affair" With Former FBI Man

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Mark Felt Is Admitting

Burnett To Sign Deep Throat For New Reality Series; Felt To Host Show On Real-Life Whistle-Blowers

New Felt Leak of Novak "Deep Throat' File; Wild Guesses Often Traded With Fellow Conservative Buchanan

Under Fire, Woodward Offers Reason He Didn't Write Plame Story; Not Comfortable With Public Meetings; Didn't Have High-Level Secret FBI Source

Retro Garlic: As The Aspen Turns ... Judy Miller Goes To Fox!

I would venture to predict, the folks over at Faux News are not going to press Judy Miller for her sources.

In fact, I speculate, they would prefer that she didn't have sources, and adopt the company policy of just making shit up

Jeralyn, over at TalkLeft gets the nod for the most humorously, ironic headline;

Ex-NYTimes Reporter Judith Miller to Join Fox as Free Speech Expert

And, just for you wise guys out there, she is not, repeat, she is not joining the Fox production of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?".

I guess, they don't want to put too much pressure on her in the beginning.

From Joe Strupp, over at Editor and Publisher;

Miller, who left the paper in 2005 after 28 years, spoke as word spread of her latest new job, as a commentator for Fox News. Miller said she will be on air and on the Web site part-time discussing First Amendment and free speech issues, as well as foreign policy and national security.

"I get to spout my views, I will NOT be joining the news team," she stressed. "I care about First Amendment issues and free speech and I will talk about that and foreign policy if and when we ever stop talking about the economy, which is going to be going on for a while."

Since The Scooter got his "Get Out of Jail Card" last year, can we breathlessly wait for a possible pairing?

Yeah, right ...

It will be programmed, set in the schedule to follow on the audience of that other new show, "Domestic Policy, with Joe the Plumber".

The Retro Part;

Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.


Bonus Judy Miller Kisses

Libby Trial Update - It's Miller Time!

Woodward Said To Be Jumping To The New York Times

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Scooter Libby Gave Judith Miller Okay To Reveal Source and Testify

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song