Retro Garlic: A Doozy ... David Brooks Gets Creepier

Oh man, this could only have happened on a Friday.

If the Sanford, Ensign, Palin, and Jackson circuses weren't enough for you, than enter, stage right, David Brooks, Rightwing Freak Show columnist for the NYT, seemingly (more on this below), with a bit of a buzz on, being interviewed on cable news.

David Brooks says a Republican senator groped his thigh at a dinner party



Whoa!

A Republican Senator with his hand on David Brooks' inner thigh?

Now, with that specific identification, one name that jumps out first is Larry Craig.

I mean, you can put together little, milquetoast, Wally Cox-like Brooks, either being intimidated, or, perhaps, excited, by big, burly, Larry "Wide-Stance" Craig feeling him up, maybe fantasizing hearing (later, of course) "You bad boy ... You naughty, boy ... You nasty, bad, naughty boy"

John Cole, at Balloon Juice, is hoping that it is "John Kyl or John Cornyn", while Libby Spencer, on her The Impolitic, is having a hard time containing herself - "It would be irresponsible not to speculate"



And, doesn't Brooks seem a bit too giddy?

Even host Nora O'Donnell sensed something amiss;

O’DONNELL: Can I ask one other question David? Do you think, what about female or women politicians? Are they dignified and are there examples of when they have not? Or does it tend to be the men who less dignified?

BROOKS: Yeah, I think that’s mostly a matter of genetics. I do think that…I do think there’s loneliness.

O’DONNELL: That was just a softball, David, and you really hit it very well.

BROOKS: Yeah, I wish I could think of sort of St. Bernards, sloppy women who are licking their aides, but but no, I can’t think of any.

HARWOOD: I’m not going there.

O’DONNELL: Did you have a couple drinks at lunch, David? I mean, this is clearly.

BROOKS: No, you’ve hit me…I’m trying not to be too dignified and stuffy.

Brooks not trying to be "dignified and stuffy", is like Bernie Madoff trying not to hustle clients - Doesn't happen!

And, as you will see, there may be much more to this, as The Garlic had the name "David Brooks" and "Creepy" tied together some time ago.

The Retro Part

PBS's Lehrer Admits Brooks "Body Language" Skills "Creeps Me Out" ... Reveals Uncomfortable With Columnist "Staring At Me" On-Set; Alludes "Toe-Tapping" Also Involved

Hmmm ...

Fascination with "body language" ... Another man's hand on his inner thigh ...

I don't know ...

Pretty creepy, there, David Brooks ...

The Wide Stance Stands

Just in case you missed it, the "C'mon Down, Price Is Right Governor of Illinois" wasn't the only hot political news today.

Our toe-tapping, airport-bathroom-cruising, "I'm not gay" gay former Senator, Larry Craig cracked into the headlines.

Court denies Sen. Craig's effort to withdraw sex-sting plea

The Minnesota Court of Appeals on Tuesday rejected U.S. Sen. Larry Craig's effort to withdraw his guilty plea to a misdemeanor offense of disorderly conduct in connection with a sex-sting operation.

After the incident became public, he attempted to withdraw his plea, contending that his "wide stance" had been misinterpreted by the arresting officer and that he had pleaded guilty simply to get the matter over with.

Ohhhhhh, what a shame ...

However, if the original incident didn’t provide us with enough riches, his appeal managed to top them.

From Steve Benen;

In an especially entertaining development, it appears Craig's attorneys argued that the senator's foot tapping in the stall should be protected as free speech under the First Amendment. The court, believe it or not, did not find this persuasive: "[E]ven if appellant's foot-tapping and the movement of his foot towards the undercover officer's stall are considered 'speech,' they would be intrusive speech directed at a captive audience, and the government may prohibit them."

Ooooookay ...

That strikes a blow (no pun intended) for all the bathroom cruisers.

Your vocal-less pick-up attempts are not constitutionally protected.

But wait, as they say, there's more.

It seems that the I'm-Not-Gay-Gay-Senator Craig burned through the office petty cash draw.

From Jeralyn, at TalkLeft;

CNN notes the Senate Ethics Committee letter of admonition to Craig:

The committee also criticized Craig for using more than $200,000 from campaign funds to pay legal fees related to his case and for flashing his Senate business card at the officer who arrested him. The letter said that move could be seen as an improper attempt to receive "special and favorable treatment."

I believe, we will use our post This Is Just Too, Too Rich ... here, and just substitute the name "Larry Craig" for "Bill Clinton".

Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) Chastises Bill ...




To help you refresh your memory of this case, from earlier, on The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Admitting You Have A Wide Stance

Breaking News! Another Bombshell - Craig To Enter Rehab; Cites Suffering From 'Restroom Leg Syndrome'

Breaking News! Another Bombshell - Craig To Enter Rehab; Cites Suffering From 'Restroom Leg Syndrome'

Beleaguered Republican Idaho Senator, Larry Craig, issued a statement this morning, following up on his "I am not gay" admission yesterday, indicating he will begin rehab treatment for "Restroom Leg Syndrome".

Craig did not divulge the rehab facility he will enter, nor state how long he has been inflicted with Restroom Leg Syndrome.

Nor was anything mentioned to the political future of Senator Craig, and how his treatment for Restroom Leg Syndrome would affect his ability to continue serving in office.

A spokesperson for Craig's Senate office needed to clarify, and confirm, for reporters that the Senator was not speaking on the more popular "Restless Leg Syndrome".

Restless legs syndrome (RLS, or Wittmaack-Ekbom's syndrome) "is a condition that is characterized by an irresistible urge to move one's legs. It is poorly understood [citation needed], often misdiagnosed, and believed to be a neurological disorder."

The Craig spokesperson hinted that the intense media attention over Senator Craig could be the cause, or trigger, of his RRLS.

In his statement, Craig stated that RRLS has "inflicted and burdened me, off-and-on, for years."

Neither Craig, nor his office, would respond to follow-up questions on how his "Restroom Leg Syndrome" differed, or was distinct from, "Restless Leg Syndrome".

Nor would anyone associated with Senator Craig respond to speculation that his "Restroom Leg Syndrome" came out of a conference call with the Republican Leadership, after they announced they were referring Craig's Minneapolis public restroom arrest to the Senate Ethics Committee.

There were reports circulating around Capitol Hill that former Tennessee Senator, Dr. Bill Frist, contacted Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, after viewing videotape of Craig's "I'm not gay" press conference, with the diagnosis.

"Frist was very certain," a source close to the Senate told The Garlic, "that is was very clear from the videotape Craig suffered from Restroom Leg Syndrome."

According to the source, Frist indicated that Craig "certainly seems to respond to the visual stimuli that characterizes Restroom Leg Syndrome."

Frist is said to have told the Republican Leadership that "having a wide stance" is also one of the symptoms associated with Restroom Leg Syndrome, but would need to see additional videotape to confirm that diagnosis.

The Garlic, in a search prior to posting this report, has yet to find a rehab facility that specializes in Restroom Leg Syndrome, and neither Craig's office, or the Senate Republican Leadership responded to inquires to identify such a rehab facility.

"I thought I had it under control," continued Craig, in his statement. "It's a bad disease ... A naughty disease ... It's a bad, nasty, naughty disease."

In a related matter, fellow Republican and Craig colleague, Senator David Vitters (R-LA), is expected to hold a news conference later today, to announce a change in his story, that he was too embarrassed to admit that he suffers from "Escort Service Leg Syndrome".

Bonus Restroom Leg Syndrome Links

Barry Crimmins: Today's Monolithic Headlines

The Sleuth - Mary Ann Akers: Senator Sang for Charity a Day After Arrest









It was announced today that Senator Larry Craig will enter rehab, for treatment on his "Restroom Leg Syndrome"

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Admitting You Have A Wide Stance

News Item: Craig Arrested, Pleads Guilty Following Incident in Airport Restroom

10. Nothing like an airport's public restroom that makes you want to stretch out and widen your stance

9. When visiting Minneapolis, the "Twin Cities", you like to widen your stance just a little bit more

8. Bouts of irritation when breaking in a new pair of leather pants

7. Causes you to, uncontrollably, tap your foot in the public restroom stall next to you

6. Teasing from your colleagues, how they are going to have to renovate the Senate aisles to accommodate your wide stance

5. Difficulty fitting into average American public restroom stall

4. Once admitting you have a wide stance, confuses your constituents when an issue comes up and you say you're taking a stance on it

3. The need of a really snappy line, when you whip out your business card ... Something like “What do you think about that?”

2. Gives you self-doubts, like, instead of a wide stance, maybe you'd be better off just going with a massage and some crystal meth

1. Makes it easier to spot pieces of paper on a public restroom floor

Bonus Larry Craig Links

Idaho Statesman: Men's room arrest reopens questions about Sen. Larry Craig

Barry Crimmins: Wide footprints to fill