Thursday, June 25, 2009

Unconvicted Child Molester Summoned For His Judgement Day

Well, Mark Sanford could up-and-move, lock, stock and barrel, to Argentina, and it would, barely, doubtfully, make a blip on the media landscape today.

Oh, the cruel irony of not hanging around Buenos Aires for, just, one more day.

The freak is dead ... The person who transformed his body (the eternal pursuit to look like Diana Ross) ... The Moonwalker ... The One-Glover ... Michael Jackson had the big one today, reportedly, possibly a heart attack, around 2:30PST, and is adios - muerte - on the big train to ... Well, somewhere ... Possibly a version of "Neverland", not to his liking.

Little boys across the land are exponentially safer this evening.

Sorry, but as cable news starts settling into, what will probably be a MichaelJacksonPalooza, fawning all over him, lets not forget that he had a strange, sick, weird, very likely, illegal and immoral - the biggest of sins - relationship, more so, an obsession, with young boys.

He paid off some of the cases, and, of course, was, astoundingly, acquitted in that circus of a trial.

And, here, that says more about him, that all of his gold records, combined.

The crush for info?

There's going to be a buses of nurses, interns, janitors, people just sitting in the waiting room, somebody walking by as the ambulance pulled in, heading out tomorrow, hitting the Southern California malls, buying big screen tv's, and such, with all the moohla tabloids, cable, and others must be frantically pulling out of their petty cash draws, with the biggest of biggest dollars, sitting there for the corpse shot (as Barry Crimmins noted, "What did they do, pull a sheet over his face? ... Isn't that redundant?)

And why are people gathering, like some kind of Fight Club Death Brigade, outside of the UCLA Medical Center?

MSNBC is reporting (haven't found any links on it yet), that, fittingly, fans of Jackson are leaving flowers on what they think is his star, on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.

Only the Unconvicted Child Molester's star is jammed up, under the Bruno premiere.

We're pretty sure that radio host Michael Jackson appreciates the gesture.

As to posts up around the World Wide Web, they're starting to roll in, the first wave of what will make a locust run look like a minor nuisance.

MG Siegler, from TechCrunch, reports that "The Web Collapses Under The Weight Of Michael Jackson’s Death", while Dan Frommer offers that "Twitter Confirms That People Can't Spell 'Michael Jackson'" ...

Lisa Derrick, on La Figa;

Bummer for the investors, Colony Capital, his fans and the folks who bought tickets for his 50 shows at London's 02 Arena. And it makes Sky Saxon of the Seeds this millenium's Darby Crash, Crash of the seminal punk band the Germs, died the night before John Lennon was murdered. Saxon's band the Seeds was best known for hit "Pushing Too Hard."

The best, though, goes to Wonkette, for the hysterical "MEGHAN MCCAIN IS NOW OFFICIALLY THE 'KING OF POP' ... A Children’s Treasury of Presidents Posing With Michael Jackson"
Nobody loved taking White House pictures with Jacko more than the Reagans. You might think, what does this insane delusional Hollywood performer have in common with Michael Jackson. Plenty! Reagan played a chimp called “Bonzo,” and Jacko used to fuck a chimp called “Bubbles.” Not so different after all ….

Sadly, this cretins' death knocked out of the headlines the death of someone, perhaps just as famous.

Farah Fawcett, at only age 62, lost her battle with cancer

We’ll have some links below, and then, just sit back and watch the media circus unfold.

There will so much to report ...

Perhaps, they will be summoning the descendants of the munchkins, from the 'Wizard of Oz', to act as pallbearers, or pull his caisson, Jackson, of course, dressed for his finale in ... God knows what.

I mean, this is the big, so he can't be buried in some run-of-the-mill, glittering, retro-Busby-Berkeley, high-kicking, army number thing ...

I wouldn't be surprised, if operatives for Jackson, are off to exhume the body of Augusto Pinochet, strip off whatever scrambled-egg-laden duds he was buried in, and tailor it for the gloved one.

Gotta look good for the last, Norma Desmond close-up.

Jacko Links

LA Times: Michael Jackson is dead [Updated]

Richard Lawson: Michael Jackson Dies at 50

Steve Clemons: Michael Singer Michael Jackson Dies

TMZ Staff: Michael Jackson Dies

Jacko Bombshell! ... Jackson Offers Embattled West To Be Mayor of Neverland ... Needs Experienced Help; 4-Year Contract, Regardless of Either Trial's Outcome

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