Monday 16 May 2005

Jacko Bombshell!
Jackson Offers Embattled West To Be Mayor of Neverland

Needs Experienced Help; 4-Year Contract, Regardless of Either Trial's Outcome

There, seemingly, is never a dull moment in the trial of Michael Jackson.

Jackson, and a team of his lawyers, public relations and other staff, called a news conference yesterday in which Jackson announced he was reaching out to embattled, conservative Republican Spokane (WA) Mayor, Jim West, to take the post of being the first Mayor of Neverland.

The post would be for four-years and is open for the taking by West, regardless of the outcome of Jackson's current trial, or, potential legal actions pending against West. The position is more-or-less ceremonial and administrative and would have no legal bearing in Santa Barbara County or State of California

"We need a man of experience here at Neverland", Jackson stated softly. "As many of you know, during this unfair and most specious trial, allegations of come out that I just let children, the dear, sweet children, as well as some adults, run away crazy in Neverland. Mayor West can offer his experience and guiding hand.

West, the former sheriff's deputy and powerful Republican state senator, is currently on a leave-of-absence, following a Spokesman-Review newspaper series, starting on May 4th, detailing West's visits to gay internet chat rooms and, allegedly offering City Hall internship and various gifts to young boys.

West, 54, is also facing allegations that he had molested two boys in the 1970s when he was a sheriff's deputy and Boy Scout leader. West has denied the accusations, which he claims were made by convicted felons.

Last Thursday, Washington State Attorney General Rob McKenna indicated that the state will defer to the FBI for the initial investigation as to the accusations of West using his office to seek sexual favors from other men. West, a conservative Republican and longtime gay-rights opponent became mayor in January 2004.

West could not be reached for comment as to taking the Mayorship of Neverland. A spokesperson for the Mayor indicated he is aware of the offer and is giving it consideration.

"I hope Mayor West takes this position" Jackson stated. "It will be so much fun to have a Mayor for Neverland, I can hardly wait".


Apple Slaps Gates With Lawsuit
New iSqueal Hotline Flooded Since Friday

Apple Computer, backing up its' word on going after persons who divulge proprietary information or making defaming statements about Apple products, slapped a multi-million-dollar lawsuit on Microsoft chief Bill Gates.

This follows an avalanche of telephone calls and emails to the iSqueal Hotline Apple established, following its' court victory against three bloggers back in March (See The Garlic 10 March 2005 - Apple Takes Blog Ruling As New Club On Criticism and Dissent)

The Apple switchboard was bombarded with telephone calls to the iSqueal Hotline and the Apple website nearly crashed with the overwhelming amount of emails regarding Gates' comments disparaging Apple. Apple employees, many who worked straight through the weekend logging the complaints, scrambled to keep up with the pace of the calls and emails.

Many were rousted from bed or called in from vacations. Busloads of lawyers could be seen entering the Cupertino campus

The Associated Press, and other news outlets captured Gates in Europe last week, commenting on a range of issues, including mobile phones overtaking standalone MP3 players and that he views the raging popularity of Apple's iPod player as unsustainable.

The German daily Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, in an interview published last Thursday quoted Gates as saying;

"I don't think the success of the iPod can continue in the long term, however good Apple may be …. I think you can draw parallels here with the computer - here, too, Apple was once extremely strong with its Macintosh and graphic user interface, like with the iPod today, and then lost its position."

Gates went further with his comments.

"We used to have a little box, with earplugs and that played random music over 50-years ago - it was called a transistor radio … Apple isn't doing anything special here … It's not iRocketScience …"

An Apple executive, who asked to remain anonymous stated that "if Gates kept his comments to the generic issues of the marketplace, we probably wouldn’t be taking action. His use of the term "iRocketScience" gets into a proprietary area and we have to respond to that"

Gates, through a Microsoft spokesperson offered a response.

"Since I haven't seen the iSuit, I will have to wait before making any iComments".