Thursday, May 19, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: How Malcolm Glazer Will Make Manchester United and English Soccer More American


10. First order of business is to get these skinny Brits on some steroids


9. Raise the ticket prices so building of the Corporate Boxes can begin

8. Load the team up with some of the high-priced Brazilian ringers

7. Sexy Cheerleaders (Make note - bring them in from France)

6. Start a new youth program - Pint, Kick and Fight - to prepare them to be a big league English Soccer Fan

5. Oops - Don’t' forget to order a bunch of Original Whizzinators to hide the steroids

4. Lose the fish-and-chips and bring on the Jumbo Dog!

3. Three Words - Monday Night Soccer

2. Another Janet Jackson half-time show

1. Hire Gary Bettman as Commissioner so league closes down and paves way for NFL Football

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