Thursday 19 May 2005

Google Fires Executive Chef
Caught Searching Recipes On Yahoo, MSN

The Google campus in Mountain View, Calf. was rocked yesterday when long-time Executive Chef, Charlie Ayers, was fired. Google officials would only say that "Mr. Ayers has left the company" but insiders say that he was terminated after being discovered searching for recipes on rivals Yahoo, and MSN's search engines.

Ayers, who once was the cook for the Grateful Dead, and with Google for over five-years, was said to be stunned by Google's actions. In a statement released through a friend, Ayer's said that "he always searched everywhere … It was never an issue"

Ayers said he was proud of his work at Google and never considered his work as "corporate"

In a recent interview with the San Jose Mercury News, Ayers said that ``I always wanted to provide something better than the restaurant down the street.''

Ironically, after being fired, Ayers had to wing his way to Chicago, to accept an award from Food Management Magazine for Best Menu Concept.

Ayers served over 2,000 people daily in what came to be called "Charlie's Place", and grew famous for Ayer's exotic and skilled cooking and far from a traditional corporate cafeteria. Googlers were treated to fares such as duck sausage, Israeli couscous, wood-fired pizzas and pumpkin chili.

"He was right up there", offered one Google executive, "with Larry, Serge, Eric"

One source close to Google says that, since Google went public, some tensions have surfaced and Ayers is not the first person let go because of using a competitor's program.

"They track every single search that goes on in that building" said the source. "It's almost that they can tell if you are even thinking about using a search engine not named Google".

Reportedly Ayers will soon open his own restaurant or healthy food store.

Google plans to use it's own search engine to seek out another high-quality chef



Rumsfeld Dismiss Call For Space Weapons Program

"Happens every time a new Star Wars or some other Sci-Fi film comes out"

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld dismissed the Air Force's call for a new space weapons program yesterday

"For heaven's sakes, they really come up with some doozy's, don't they".

On Tuesday, General Lance Lord, who leads the Air Force Space Command, sought out President Bush's approval of a national security directive that would have the Air Force closer to fielding offensive and defensive space weapons, according to White House Press Secretary, Scott McClellan

"The President asked if it was ready yet and if it could be aimed at Newsweek" deadpanned McClellan.

Col. Lord, at a recent Congressional hearing, stated that "The Air Force believes we must establish and maintain space superiority. Simply put, it's the American way of fighting."

Air Force doctrine defines space superiority as "freedom to attack as well as freedom from attack" in space.

Rumsfeld once embraced the concept of a space weapons program.

Fresh from his appointment in 2001, Rumsfeld led a commission that recommended the military should "ensure that the president will have the option to deploy weapons in space."

Rumsfeld has since changed course, embracing a quick, flexible military force and is forging ahead with privatizing the military, as with the recently announced military base closing recommendations, and his deal with U-Haul (See The Garlic, Tuesday 17 May 2005 - Base Closings Tied To New U-Haul Self Storage Contract)

"This kind of thing happens every time a new 'Star Wars' or some other Sci-Fi film comes out" scoffed Rumsfeld. "Everyone gets all excited, running around, talking this weapon or that weapon … Really outrageous things that will cost … Billions … I mean Billions …And who knows how many years to develop, and test, and tweak and deal with all the deer-lovers and all that …

Rumsfeld's reference was to the new installment, 'Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith', due to open on Friday.

"I'm just an old-fashion, John Wayne, Smith-and-Wesson kind of guy anyway".