Saturday, October 20, 2007

For The Congress Today, A New Song - Bush's Place (Or C-Jam Blues)

We tried to help them, when they took over back in January, pumping them up with an anthem.

However, it appears that our Congress, and in particular, the Democratic Leadership, is tone-deaf.

We had to strongly urge Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to go table shopping... He had to attempt to wake them up from their nap... We came out and called like it was - Hypocrites, The Bunch of Them!

And yet, astoundingly, with a sitting president sitting down at Nixonian levels of popularity, the Congress, and, again as we pointed out, the Democrats, still are holding their regular meetings of The Blank Check Club.

Rather then make him sit there, in all his resplendent relevancy, they cave... They cower and shrink and cave.

The New York Times had an editorial about it today ...

We have to call on the First Lady of Jazz, Ms. Ella Fitzgerald, to take us out of the week

Snap your fingers and tap your toes (Well, musically, not that other way) to "Bush's Place (also known as C-Jam Blues - you decide what the "C" should be for).

Bush's Place

Baby! take me down to Bush’s Place,
Softest Congress in town is Bush’s Place
Love that crying sound in Bush’s Place.
Republican Minorities do their tricks in Bush’s Place,
Idaho Senators swing their dicks in Bush’s Place
Come on! Get your bills passed in Bush’s Place!

You find yourself a threat, and when you want to met,
you look around and yell, “Terrorist!”
They fill your bill chock full of amnesty and shrink up
You’re jetting along with your Condi
It’s late second term, but baby, it’s still early!
If you’ve never been to Bush’s Place,
Take your bills into Bush’s Place
You'll get what you want in Bush’s Place

Bonus Links

Listen To A Clip of Ella Fitzgerald, with Duke Ellington, Sing "Duke's Place"

Senator Chris Dodd: The Military Commissions Act. Warrantless wiretapping. Shredding of Habeas Corpus. Torture. Extraordinary Rendition. Secret Prisons. No more.

Glenn Greenwald: AT&T, other telecoms, buy victory in lawsuits

Digby: Five Card Dud

Friday, October 19, 2007

You Gotta Love It, Friday Edition, Dateline: Burma

Well, with things on the home front (follow-up Doc visit) keeping me from being fully engaged today, we go to the lighter side tonight ...

And you gotta love it!

Activists send female underwear to Burmese embassies

Activists exasperated at the failure of diplomacy to apply pressure on Burma's military regime are resorting to a new means of protest against the regime's recent crackdown: sending female underwear to Burmese embassies.

Embassies in the UK, Thailand, Australia and Singapore have all been targeted by the "Panties for Peace" campaign, co-ordinated by an activist group based in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

"Not only are they brutal, but they are also very superstitious. They believe that touching a woman's pants or sarong will make them lose their strength," Ms Pollack told Guardian Unlimited.
Too bad J. Edgar Hoover wasn't still around, to give the Junta's security some assistance ... I'm sure he'd want to personally investigated all the evidence ...

Or the surprises of surprises ... Who knew that Britney Spears was into activism? ...

Bonus Link

Breaking News! Burma Junta Contracting Blackwater For Internal Security; Could Mean Exit From Iraq For Embattled Mercenary Firm; Radio's Limbaugh Charges "Phony Monks" Stirring Up Trouble

Rudy ... How's about giving up a pair, or two, for the good cause?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Military Recruiters Didn't Realize They Were Recruiting Gays

News Item: Military inadvertently recruits gays

10. Didn't put two-and-two together before they set up their recruiting stand at the Minneapolis Airport

9. Was optimistic with the number of recruits who indicated that they had experience in handling "big guns"

8. Well, heck, a lot of people like K.D. Lang's music

7. Thought recruits were political savvy when a good number of them indicated they knew former Congressman Mark Foley

6. Were encouraged by the female (lesbian) recruits and how forcefully they said they'd have absolutely no problem with staying away from men while on duty

5. Understood GLBT to be a Guacamole, Lettuce, Bacon, and Tomato sandwich

4. Thought the questions about if the "PX carried K-Y" was a reference to one of those new energy drinks

3. Didn't notice the number of recruits who bore an uncanny resemblance to Judy Garland

2. Looking to target some recruits for the military bands, believed Glee.Com was a new social site for former college Glee Club members

1. Should have picked up on the number of recruits that already had their own sailor uniforms

Didn't notice the number of recruits who bore an uncanny resemblance to Judy Garland

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Vatican Discounts "Bonfire Pope"; Says Flames "Not Hunched Over Enough"

Late Pontiff's Bend Was Measured "Religiously"; Never Used Contingency "Roller Skate Gloves".

The Vatican, this morning, dashed the hopes of a Polish photographer, indicating that a picture of a bonfire claiming to resemble Pope John Paul II, in his classic "blessing" pose, is not the late Pontiff.

After studying the photograph, the Vatican indicates that the "flames are not hunched over enough to be authentic."

"We can say this with certainty," offered a Vatican spokesperson.

"His Excellency was religiously measured, monitored and tracked, for the bend in his back. We have very precise measurements on this and the flames in the photo do not correspond to our records."

This disputes Service director Jarek Cielecki, a Polish priest, who had traveled to Beskid Zywiecki, in southern Poland, close to John Paul's birthplace, to review the photograph, taken by a local man, Gregorz Lukasik, of a bonfire set on April 2nd, to commemorate the second anniversary of the Polish Pontiff's death.

"You can see the image of a person in the flames and I think it is the servant of God, Pope John Paul II," he said.

Unconfirmed reports indicate that Cielecki and Lukasik drew the attention of the Vatican, only after they allegedly signed deals with eBay and GoldenPalace.Com, to purchase the photograph, and the ashes left over from the bonfire.

It was said the price dropped due to the pair not being able to sell the bonfire, while it was lit, as well as not having the official endorsement of The Vatican.

A second rumor says that the sale was complicated by The Vatican's insistence of receiving a larger percentage of the sale.

New Discovery

In damping down the "Flaming Pope", as it is called inside The Vatican, journalists were offered to look over the voluminous register book on the recordings of Pope John Paul's hunched back.

Measurements were taken daily, and escalated to twice daily in his last few years, with specially-designed "Papal Calipers" and included weekly xrays.

Also included in the measurement book were detailed design sketches of what was titled "Roller Skate Gloves".

Officials in The Vatican were concerned that Pope John Paul's hunching was increasing, and, potentially, if he lived longer, he would be bent completely over and, in order to complete even some basic perfunctory tasks, as well as move around the vast Vatican palace, some mechanical device would be needed.

A wheel chair was ruled out by John Paul himself, not wanting to appear weak to his flock.

The specs for the "Roller Skate Gloves" called for them to be gold-plated, and trimmed in red.

In a related story, Catholic League President William Donohue lambasted liberals and gays, claiming that they were "biased and prejudiced" against flames resembling Catholics.

Bonus Vatican Riffs

New, Hi-Tech Confessional Booths Possible; Catholic Church To Follow IRS Lead; Will Begin To Sell Confessions; Move Forecasted To Be Boon For On-Line Porn, Gambling, and Divorce Industries

Top Ten Cloves: Things The Vatican Has Done To Make Good Friday Even Better

Breaking News! Pontiff In Major Spread, Popemobile Giveaway; Oprah Lands Pope Benedict XVI For Huge Tell-All Over Muslam Flap; Either Apology or Conversion To Islam Promised In Teasers; Pontiff Turned Down By CBS News Free Speech

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Problems With Suing God


Top Ten Cloves: Things Michelle Malkin Will Do Now On Friday Evenings, Since She's Off The O'Reilly Factor

News Item: Malkin quits The O’Reilly Factor.

10. Touch up the replica Internment Camp she's built in her backyard

9. Instead of taking straw polls, she'll be more productive and build more straw men

8. Can now have the John Doe meetings at her house

7. More time to stalk innocent American families, who may, or may not, be receiving government aid

6. Prank call suicide hot-lines and just giggles ‘Boo-Freakin-Hoo

5. Try on different blonde wigs, so maybe the Conservatives will like her better than Ann Coulter

4. Secretly go shopping at Crate & Barrel

3. Sit with her Voodoo dolls of Bill O'Reilly and Geraldo Rivera- and a box full of pins

2. Rethink her slander of Sally Field, sit down with some popcorn and the Box DVD Collection of 'The Flying Nun'

1. Write "Thank You" notes to Mitch McConnell and his staff

Bonus M-Squared Riffs

Crooks and Liars: Frost Parents Talk About The Right’s Jihad Against Their Son On Countdown

Sadly No: From Morn To Noon She Fell; From Noon To Dewy Eve…

When A Michelle Malkin Quits The O'Reilly Factor, And No One is Around To Hear it, Does It Make A Sound?

"The Conservatives ... They Like Me ... They Really Like Me ..."

Extra! Extra! Barry Crimmins Nabs Hillary For Rare, Candid Interview!

"I happen to think the situation in Iraq is complex -- one that requires an impenetrable stand on the issue."
Satirist Barry Crimmins, donning his weathered fedora and dusty gumshoes, caught up with the all-but-crowned, front-running Democrat candidate, Senator Hillary Clinton, "on the campaign trail in Pork, Iowa" for a little sit down ...

It's classic Hillary ... You don't want to miss it!

Three questions for Senator Clinton

Visit Barry Crimmin's website

Other Barry Crimmins on The Garlic

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overhead While The Nobel Peace Prize Committee Reviewed Rush Limbaugh's Nomination

News Item: Limbaugh Had Himself Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize, Now Is in a Snit of Jealousy over Gore’s Win

10. Is he the one that wears the eye patch? ... No .. No ... That's that other foul-mouth cretin

9. His application says "Radio Host" ... I thought he wrote racist songs?

8. There's pages-and-pages of testimonials ... What's a "Dittohead"?

7. I think we should send him a phony Nobel Peace Prize

6. Look at this thing ... Is this guy on drugs?!

5. Do we have any other candidates who also submitted their police mug shot?

4. He lists, under Biggest Hope, "To see a black quarterback in the NFL succeed on his own merits"

3. Didn't he mock that actor? ... Michael J. Fox and his illness?

2. Is he the one that Geraldo Rivera is going to spit on?

1. Hmmm ... Accomplishments ... Gore ... Limbaugh ... Wasn't one of these guys a Vice President over in America?

Bonus Rush Links

Liberal Values: Limbaugh Jealous Over Loss of Nobel Peace Prize to Gore?

Digby: Killing The King

Rush Limbaugh on Media Matters

Monday, October 15, 2007

Condi! Whose Cup Are You Drinking From Lately?

Power comes from lying ... Lying big and getting the whole damn world to play along with you ... Once you got everybody agreeing with what they know in their hearts ain't true, you get them by the balls

Senator Roark, from “Sin City - That Yellow Bastard

Just curious there, piano girl, but do you ever see yourself on television? Do you review your public statements, so, theoretically, you don't go out the next time and put your knee-high-booted foot in your mouth?

I ask, you see, due to you, our Nanny of State, last week, while in Russia, chastized the Russian government, and its' leader, Vladimir Putin, over what appears to be a consolidation of power;
"In any country, if you don't have countervailing institutions, the power of any one president is problematic for democratic development," Rice told reporters after meeting with human-rights activists.

"I think there is too much concentration of power in the Kremlin. I have told the Russians that. Everybody has doubts about the full independence of the judiciary. There are clearly questions about the independence of the electronic media and there are, I think, questions about the strength of the Duma," said Rice, referring to the Russian parliament."

First off, when did the memo go out that Russia was a beacon of democracy?

Are they going with an a la carte democracy, or did they buy the Starter Kit, complete with a ready-to-go Constitution and a bonus set of "Mission Accomplished" banners?

And, if they are installing the Bush-Style Democracy, they shouldn’t have any problems complying with their FISA Act, being, if it takes a week to make a phone call, there's plenty of time to get down to the courts for the warrants.

Secondly, and here you have the boatload of irony, did it occur to you there Missy ... Well, better asked ... Is not having countervailing institutions and "the power of any one president" a problem for already-established democracies?

I'm surprised Putin didn't laugh in your face and shoot back - "You, mean, like in your country!"

We know that our Nanny of State has been out of the limelight for some time (although, Barry Crimmins has the scoop that she was "found by the BBC"), so maybe you've got, I don't know, a Vitamin D deficiency, or something, going on ...

I mean, there's the above lulu (almost as good as when here work husband, The Commander Guy, uttered, with similar straight face "I'm aware of the fact that perhaps somebody in the administration did disclose the name of that person ...") and there's the one last month, when you equated Zarqawi To Ulysses S. Grant And Robert E. Lee ...

Whose cup are you drinking from down there?

Is it the pressure of being husband-less? ... The new rumors on your lifestyle? ... Still steamed about the Pope blowing you off?

I don't know, with you now running off to the Middle East, you might be tempted to try to kick-start a late-second-term-facing-saving-Mid-East-Peace-Plan that calls for ... I don't know ... Something like the Palestinians to have their own state...


Bonus Condi Girl Links

Michael J.W. Stickings/The Reaction: Headline of the Day (Condi Rice edition)

Glenn Kessler/Washington Post: Transformed By Her Bond With Bush; Rice's Loyalty Brings Power and Pitfalls

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Condoleezza Rice Becoming NFL Commissioner

Our Girl Condi Gets A Theme Song - Neocons and Lovers

Faster Than A Speeding, Lead Bullet ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

We're back, with The Garlic's Weekly Poll!

What started out, in the Dog Days of Summer, of taking a week, or two, respite, turned into ... Well ... We got kind of lazy and carried away with the new-found freedom ...

At least we left a poll up that had legs ... Is there anything that isn't being recalled today?

Lead hasn't been in the news this much since Murder Incorporated was in business ... Or, the old George Reeves "Adventures of Superman" show aired, and it was one of the many episodes of Superman being saved by a house built of lead, a lead shield ... Something prominent that was made of lead that Lois or Jimmy would happen to come up with.

Now, you have to think, if Superman was real, how would he, after all, believing in that "Truth, Justice and the American Way" thing, deal with the Bush Grindhouse?

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll August 14 - October 14, 2007

Fearful of China, the Bush Grindhouse is calling Mattel's Toy Recall ...

1. The Exploration of Healthy Toys Tally 36%

2. A new terrorist threat, probably committed by al Qaeda in Iraq Tally 35%

3. The Clean Shelves Act Tally 17%

4. A Faith-Based Cultural Withdrawal Tally 11%

This week’s Poll - If Al Qaeda in Iraq is vanquished, President Bush will have to ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Bonus Links

Citing toy recalls, safety agency seeks more resources

Baby's first lead; All the recent toy recalls have revived fears about toddlers and toxins. How should parents protect their children?

Barbie's home ruled a toxic site; Lead-tainted toys continue to be recalled. But toy makers and China don't deserve all the blame. U.S. regulators have been napping.

China threatens 'nuclear option' of dollar sales

Something Rudy

Something Moody, Something Moola

Something Rudy, Something Payola
And a silver-lined no-bid contract for Motorola

And this man, exploiting 9/11 like it was an entitlement, wants to be President? ... God Help Us all if that every comes to play ...

One thing that could put a dent in America's Mayor's balloon is this new video - The Real Rudy - from Robert Greenwald's Brave New Films.

This BNF investigative report calls attention to four key questions about Rudy's handling of the broken radios from firemen's families and experts:

Why was nothing done to improve FDNY radio performance for seven years after a clear need was demonstrated in the 1993 World Trade Center attack?

When new radios were finally ordered, why did the city block other companies besides Motorola from bidding on the contract?
Once Motorola was given the contract, why did its cost jump from $1.4 million to $14 million?

Why were these new radios never tested?

These questions should and must be investigated. New York City councilman Eric Gioia has the power to begin an investigation. If we can garner enough attention and signers, we have a major opportunity to help launch an investigation.

Check out the new video and use the links to sign the petition

The Real Rudy - This Must Be Investigated

Bonus America's Mayor Links

Digby: Standing Their Ground

Wayne Barrett: Rudy Giuliani's Five Big Lies About 9/11

Alex Koppelman: After 9/11, Rudy wasn't a rescue worker -- he was a Yankee; Giuliani said he spent as much time at ground zero as many rescue workers. Where was he really? Much of the time, at baseball games.

Move Over McCain, Rudy Says He Can Jump The Shark Better Than You!

When A Michelle Malkin Quits The O'Reilly Factor, And No One is Around To Hear it, Does It Make A Sound?

Now, if only Bill O'Reilly would quit The O'Reilly Factor ...

Talk among yourselves ...

Think Progress: Malkin quits The O’Reilly Factor.

Inside Cable News: Malkin quits The Factor…

Tbogg: The death of hard-hitting journalism as we have come to know it...

Bonus Malkin Internment Camp-Endorsing Links

Sadly No: Stalkin’ Malkin Is Losing It

Digby: What, Me Worry?

Mirror, Mirror ... She's Still The Sickest! ... But The Bush Grindhouse Is Gaining Ground ... Follow-Up On The Graeme Frost Conflagration

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Cheney and Rumsfeld ... You Get Two ... Two ... Two Disasters In One!

They are not identical twins (physically, at least), so it's easy to see why Certs never tapped them for one of their ad campaigns.

Easier to tell them that, rather than admitting you don't want your product associated with truly unmitigated disasters.

Cheney and Rumsfeld ... Rumsfeld and Cheney ... The Governmental version of Martin and Lewis, Siegfried and Roy or, more the case, Fric-and-Frac.

Our constitutionally-Supreme Court-Stolen-elected Darth Vader has been in the news of recent, lamenting in one interview that he disagreed with The Commander Guy on the firing of his buddy, now former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, and in another, being called out, labeled a disaster by former President Jimmy Carter.

Something, I'm sure, the Neocons will be curled up with bewilderment, for years, is how did the most powerful Vice President in history allow his best buddy to be fired? Oh, my goodness gracious!, how did he let one of them get axed?

Rummy is, after all, the flawed architect of the disastrous invasion and occupation of Iraq, the artist of the Katzenjammer Kids blueprint these Neocons drew up. And while he was glib at the earliest stages of the disaster, you have to think how Rummy would have reacted, in his former heyday as CEO of the Searle Drug Co., if one of his production managers offered, as the reason for a failed batch, "stuff happens".

And they had such a good deal going, turning their Armageddon-Weekend-Let's-Rule-The-World-role-playing into reality.

Was it a Tessio moment, as in 'The Godfather', when the former loyal capo is made for his plot, and blurts out "Hell, he can't do that ... It screws up all my plans ..."

Was it bad timing, the one-day-a-year where he actually let The Decider Guy be President and, Oh My God, look what he's done!

Hard to put the Genie back in the bottle without calling attention to himself.

Best he could do, very pointedly, was to call his Armageddon-weekend pal "The finest Secretary of Defense this nation has ever had,”

As to Jimmy Carter ... The VP must have run out of ink, furiously scribbling notes in the column on this one, albeit, with no Covert-CIA Agent-wife to expose in retribution.

How frustrating.

Along with "denouncing Vice President Dick Cheney as a "disaster", in the BBC World News America interview, the peanut-farming, home-building ex-Prez also added;

"He's a militant who avoided any service of his own in the military and he has been most forceful in the last 10 years or more in fulfilling some of his more ancient commitments that the United States has a right to inject its power through military means in other parts of the world," Carter told the BBC World News America in an interview to air later on Wednesday.
I'm sure he's not feeling like "Dick, The Magic Vice-Prez" these days. Rummy, and The Scooter, are gone and his current staff of law-breaking, Constitutional Stormtroopers must be tiring of having that same "Let's bomb Iran" conversation every day.

The script for Little Timmy Russert, the one detailing all those mushrooms clouds stockpiled in Tehran, sits in the draw collecting dust, for the moment.

The empire is going soft, he must be thinking, with the new guy, Robert "What Intelligence?" Gates not drinking the Kool Aid, having a different agenda and Nanny of State Condoleeza Rice wanting to coddle the terrorists and legitimize those Islamo thugs.

With the clock running out, how will the chest-thumping (well, okay, in his case, it's more a soft patting), most-powerful Vice President-in-history ever fulfill his 30-year plan for his above-the-law Imperial Presidency?

Oh yeah, you can bet, in their weekend Armageddon frolicking, Rummy is still their Secretary of Defense.

Bonus Dynamic Duo Links

Barry Crimmins: Weekend Rumsfeld's Mysterious Resignation

Joan Walsh: Rumsfeld's legacy: Iraq and Dick Cheney

Robert Parry: Rumsfeld's legacy: Iraq and Dick Cheney