Top Ten Cloves: Other Possible Excuses Maureen Dowd Could Used For Plagiarizing TPM's Josh Marshall

News Item: How would the NYT react if Joe Biden gave an excuse this lame?

10. Thought "Josh Marshall" was a big department store in Chicago

9. Didn't think the "pajama-wearing, cheeto-eating" crowd would notice

8. She was trying to piss off the Chenny Fluffers on CNN

7. It's Sweeps Month!

6. Believed Alex Rodriguez was "tipping" her that it was okay to plagiarize

5. Just the burden, the strain, of having to write TWO columns, per week

4. Got confused, thought she was lifting material from 'The West Wing'

3. She was jealous of Ann Coulter

2. Thought she had given up plagiarizing from Polk Award winners for Lent

1. She, and her friend, were just goofing around, playing the old Johnny Carson 'Carnac the Magnificent' game, and the TPM thing came up, and, somehow, made it into her column


Bonus Dowd Boner Riffs

Nicole Belle: Ruh Roh! MoDo Caught Plagiarizing From TPM

Glenn Greenwald: The myth of the parasitical bloggers

TBogg: The Incredible Shrinking Pundit

Digby: Karma

Skippy, the bush kangaroo: maureen dowd - my sweet lord, she's so fine!

Radio Listeners Diss McCain's Mini-Me

This had me rolling on the floor.

Stumbling around the WWW, I came across the post "Joe Lieberman Is Ann Coulter", over on No More Mister Nice Guy, and included in it was this list.

It comes from NPR, on All Things Considered, their on-going series, "Vocal Impressions"

"In "Vocal Impressions," a monthly contest, listeners provide word pictures brought to mind by distinctive voices."

They put it out in their latest offering, the voice of McCain's Mini-Me, Senator Joe Lieberman (R-I, CT)

It's hysterical!

Joe Lieberman

A flat tire on a Segway

A soggy brown paper bag

A turtle standing on a stack of telephone books

A grease stain on a new silk blouse

Max White [the father character on the TV show Alf] reprimanding Alf for trying to eat the family cat, Lucky

The straining engine of a previously owned Yugo

An exhausted math teacher who needs to explain what a square is for the Nth time

A person suggesting we form another committee to look into a "mission statement" after a two-hour meeting

The fine, boring, important print in your insurance policy

Ben Stein being smothered with a pillow by Ralph Nader

A dog's squeak toy after the squeak has been removed

The cowardly lion's petite weaselly, older brother

A discarded banana peel

Like Gumby and Pokey were his speech therapists

As to Steve M's post, hitting on Mini-Me Lieberman for his continued embrace of the Final Days Minister, John Hagee;

I think there's a real possibility that he'll go too far. His trajectory is starting to look a bit like Ann Coulter's -- every criticism generates an even greater desire to provoke, and no apology is ever forthcoming.

The problem is, when you're provoking at this level of public scrutiny (i.e., if you're more mainstream than, say, Michael Savage), you eventually find yourself, like Coulter, regularly testing the limits, and eventually you go over the edge, with the mainstream press watching, because you're just in a unilateral rhetorical arms race. Coulter went over the edge when she started fag-baiting heterosexual Democratic politicians while declaring Jews "incomplete" Christians (along with attacking 9/11 widows and embracing McCarthy); Lieberman, I think, is just going to keep backing Hagee (and probably other Christian Zionists) ever more publicly while making increasingly strident McCarthyite attacks on Democrats until, by November, I expect to see him in the editorial pages of The Wall Street Journal or on a Sunday talk show saying flatly, "Yes, I do think Barack Obama hates his country and would like to see it destroyed." His buddies in the media, like Coulter's, will continue to see him as not having gone too far, but it will be increasingly clear, particularly to Senate colleagues, that he's gone too far.

Maybe, Stumblin Bumblin' John McCain's Mini-Me Lieberman can be talked into, when he speaks at Hagee's summit, he can do it in costume, say, as Gumby or Pokey ... Or a soggy brown paper bag ...


Bonus Links

Lieberman’s capacity to be a Republican hack knows no bounds

Biden Slaps Down McCain's Mini-Me

Garlictorial: Why Wait - Toss Lieberman Over To The GOP Now!

Breaking News! Lieberman Pledges To Support “Whichever Party Elects Me”; Post-Debate Bombshell - Lieberman Announces Plan C – Will Run In All 50 States; Hires Nader For ‘Underdog” Experience; Pledges To Support “Whichever Party Elects Me”

Update

Crooks and Liars: It’s confirmed. Lieberman is still speaking at Hagee’s July CUFI Summit

Firing It Up - My Wall Street Journal

From Danny Shea, on HuffPo;

My Wall Street Journal, a parody of the Wall Street Journal on newsstands this week to mark the April 15 tax deadline, has rankled News Corp executives so much that they're trying to make sure no one sees it

Oh, this is rich!

Sticking to the WSJ is delicious of-and-by itself, but seeing Sir Rupert react to it .... Priceless!

Murdoch Freaks

And they (News Corp. cronies) have attempted to buy up the copies!

It was not supposed to go on sale until this week, but some newsstands began selling it early. Last Thursday, Alexander Laurence was working at one such stand in Los Angeles, chatting with a customer, David Metz, when, both of them say, a man in a shirt with a Journal logo asked if anyone had seen a paper that looked sort of like The Journal.

"This guy comes by all the time to bring promotional stuff for The Wall Street Journal -- bags, coin trays, stickers," Mr. Laurence said.

Sure enough, they found what he was looking for. "He grabbed them all, said, 'I need to buy all of these,' " Mr. Laurence said. "He had been going around to different stands, buying them."

The man paid with a corporate American Express card. "At first he's saying they have to make a correction or it's not supposed to be out yet," Mr. Metz said. "But then he said these are not published by The Wall Street Journal."

Priceless! ...


Bonus Links

My Wall Street Journal Website

Gawker: WSJ Trying To Suppress Parody?

NYT: A Funnier-Than-Usual Journal Gets Snapped Up Early

We're Waiting, John Fund ... For You To Take Your Head Out Of Your Ass ... Lieberman Abandoned The Democrats To Run As An Indie, He Wasn't Forced To

Clock's Ticking Again - Some More Heads To Be Pulled Out of Asses ... Step Right Up Dorothy Rabinowitz ... And Richard Cohen To

Oh Ronnie, How I Long For You ...

Good Thing Time Travel Isn't Here Yet

Announcer: [opening narration for most episodes] Two American scientists are lost in the swirling maze of past and future ages, during the first experiments on America's greatest and most secret project, the Time Tunnel. Tony Newman and Doug Phillips now tumble helplessly toward a new fantastic adventure, somewhere along the infinite corridors of time.

The Time Tunnel (ABC 1966)

Maybe she could take the Dr. Ann MacGregor role (there's a vibe for this; on the show, the part was played by Lee Meriwether, who also, around the same time, played Catwoman).

But, me thinks, after getting an earful of her toxic BS, Drs. Newman and Phillips would program the dials, and send her through the tunnel, sans a return trip, and, possibly, with an eye towards saving mankind, destroy the machine, once she's been deposited, oh, say in the cave around 500 BC.

We talk, of course, of Ann Coulter, the doyenne of the Right Wing Freakshow.

Mark Kleiman has a most amusing and funny post today;

If Ann Coulter had liveblogged the Gettysburg Address

Ahhh...now he slips it to us! "Fourscore and seven," indeed! He's bringing us back to the Marxist rant of 1776, completely ignoring the Constitution of 1787 in rhetoric as he has in practice. I'll believe we're all equal when I'm as tall as Lincoln, or as ugly. And the slaves he's so fond of may be his equals, but I'm damned if they're mine.

Highly recommend you check it out.

And, no need, necessarily, for a Retro Garlic, but we had placed Coultergeist in a different historical era;

Garlic Exclusive! 1st Draft Of Coulter’s Plagiarism Response

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At CPAC

News Item: Romney edges McCain in conservative straw poll

10. If you see McCain's mother, walk the other way ... She's giving backhanders to anyone that says they won't be voting for her son

9. What do we do if he does pick Bob Dole for VP?

8. Limbaugh's here ... And he's dropping his winning the Man-of-the-Year award like confetti

7. McCain is going to ask Romney if he can borrow his sons for the general election

6. Isn't "pimping" one of the planks in our platform?

5. I heard that the Ron Paul people are spread out over a 5-mile perimeter, looking for Sean Hannity

4. Coulter's not speaking this year? ... I guess it was a slow year in the plagiarism biz...

3. Huckabee might announce his National Defense Policy today ... What's that going to be - stand down the Army and just throw Chuck Norris out there?

2. Watch out ... Mitt Romney's going around looking for investors ... He wants to go and rebuild those Auto plants in Michigan anyway

1. I heard that McCain is so desperate to win over us over, he might divorce his wife and marry Nancy Reagan before the convention


Bonus Freakshow Riffs

"The morning after always looks grim if you happen to be wearing last night's dress"

Top Ten Cloves: Things Ann Coulter Would Spend "Coulter Cash" On

Yes, Virginia, There Is, Sadly, A William Kristol ...

Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?


The McCain Election Strategy

Tough Slogging On The Revisionist Front ... Rove Having A Hard Time Working That Etch-A-Sketch

I'm sure there's some hardcore, dyed-to-the-bone, rightwingers and freakshow freaks, that are salivating for a book from the Smear Meister, Herr Karl Rove, to get the latest revisionist view of his handiwork, but it appears they have a longer wait;

Slow going for Rove memoir auction; Early reports had predicted a $3 million sale, but an auction for the Republican strategist's memoir has dragged on for a month.

“It's very, very slow,” says an executive at one of the few houses left in the bidding. Early reports had predicted a $3 million sale, but some insiders are wondering if Mr. Barnett has had trouble getting to that number. He declined to comment.

And the Turd Blossom isn't the only one having a problem, or two, with his Etch-A-Sketch;

His female counterpart, the doyenne of the Freakshow, plagiarist extraordinaire, Ann Coulter is having the air popped from her balloon.

Mr. Rove isn't the only conservative meeting a backlash. The latest tome by right-wing scribe Ann Coulter, If Democrats Had Any Brains They'd Be Republicans, hasn't caught fire with book buyers.

The title spent just four weeks on The New York Times' best-seller list—compared with 12 for her previous book—and has sold 97,000 copies in the last 10 weeks, according to Nielsen BookScan, which tracks about 70% of the market.

Hmmm... Maybe Coulter has to out a covert CIA agent and Rove needs to don an eyepatch to start the climb out of their self-made muck, to win back the hearts and minds of the Dittoheads?

No doubt, we'll probably see a great deal of these two on the Fox News Network... Nothing a few softball smear sessions can't cure ...

Bonus Rovian Riffs

The Carpetbagger Report: Karl Rove’s transition from mythic to comic figure

War blame-shifting fall out - Nov. 30: If the White House knew that Karl Rove had lied on Charlie Rose, on national TV, about the war, why wouldn't they correct the record the very next day? MSNBC Political Analyst Lawrence O'Donnell talks to Keith Olbermann.

Ed Secretary Spellings On Turning Down Date With Rove: "He Was So Inept And Inartful"

Scott Horton: It Started in Texas: Karl Rove’s Political Prosecutions

Hello Dolly! ... Just In Time For Christmas ...

Well, this was a nice, easy way to softly land back into the grind, after two, much-needed, days' rest.

We hope our Garlic fans had a good Thanksgiving Holiday

In the event you also rested, and didn't take part in the MSM-and-Cable-News Cheerleading extravaganza of the "Black Friday" shopping frenzy (God, it was mind-numbing! Barry Crimmins covered the lead-in, the incessant loop of the travel reports, as if crowded airports the day before a holiday is a one-in-a-hundred-year event).

Apparently they're still following the Bush Grindhouse marching orders of "Go Shopping!".

The only thing that attempted to throw a cross-body block into the orchestrated push to the malls, was the seminal lost white woman story, the new developments in the Natalee Holloway case (which, going unreported, was the contribution of the news media flying to Aruba adding to those travel reports from a packed O'Hare in Chicago)

Too bad no new ripples jetted out of the late Anna Nicole Smith pool, otherwise, we may have actually seen our television sets go into spasms, with the news gatherers hyperventilating just how to divvy up those minutes of airtime.

So it was, over a nice cup of coffee, we espied the Christy Hardin Smith post, over on Firedoglake, "Your Holiday Shopping Conundrums Solved!"

Christy was riffing on an article by Al Karman, in the Washington Post, of a new Donald Rumsfeld doll ('Did You Push My Button? Yes. Am I Going to Talk? You Bet.')

That's right, a toy doll, in the likeness of ol' Rummy that, with the push-of-a-button, will speak classic Rumsfeldian.

Christy put in a call for "other ideas" ...

Sooooo ...

Here it is, The Garlic's recommended addition to your holiday shopping list.

The Bush Grindhouse Dolls

Dick Cheney: Comes with a group of secret playmates that you will be under court order not to divulge the names of and, a extra defibrillator, so you can perform an actual surgical operation, extending the life of your Dick Cheney doll (Coming Soon - The Deluxe Dick Cheney-Wolf Blitzer-Lynne Cheney Smack Down Set ).

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby: Does whatever the Dick Cheney Doll tells him what to do

Condoleezza Rice: Sit Condo down at the piano (included), or have her storm around in her knee-high leather boots ... Be sure to order the half-completed, still-under construction U.S. Iraq Embassy (with new Blackwater USA helicopters), or the Condi-Private Home-Special Companion Doll House)

Rush Limbaugh: New and improved with memory chip ... Take Rush to school with you and get ready for gut-busting laughter as your Rush doll mocks and insults any non-white, or handicapped students in your class

David Addington: Cheney's Cheney ... Comes with a parental warning, as the doll is capable of rewriting your house rules, allowing your child to act in atrocious and despicable ways. Additional warning cautions to be sure about having your child play with the David Addington and John Yoo dolls separately

Colin Powell: Playing with this doll will be like having a pet parrot, as you can have the Colin Powell doll say anything you want it to say (The Whispering George Tenet doll is not included and must be purchased separately)

Tom Delay: Along with quoting Bible versus and uttering completely wrong statements, your home will be rodent-free, as the Tom Delay doll also functions as a working exterminator

Jack Abramoff: Truly a special addition to your child's toy chest, as you stand back and watch the Abramoff doll bribe and make illegal payoffs to all your child's other dolls (Indian Casino sold separately)

Bill O'Reilly: The doll of non-stop, idiotic bluster that's fun for the whole family (Parental Supervision is recommended if this doll was purchased for a girl; A glitch in the programming may have the doll questioning the young female in an inappropriate, sexual manner)

President Bush: The Deluxe Transformer Edition: You can take this Conservative Christian and change him into The Decider Guy, The Commander Guy (Flight suit sold separately), or The Shakespeare Guy.

Whatever you turn your President George Bush doll into, your doll will under-perform, to a high degree, including complete failure (Expect the Consumer Protection Agency and Mainstream Media not to report this, and continually pump up the George Bush Doll as being successful).

Ordering Note

The Ann Coulter Doll is currently unavailable, having been recalled for possible violations, including copyright infringement and plagiarism.

The Dennis Miller Doll has been discontinued due to not coming to terms with the Game Show Network

Top Ten Cloves: Things Michelle Malkin Will Do Now On Friday Evenings, Since She's Off The O'Reilly Factor

News Item: Malkin quits The O’Reilly Factor.

10. Touch up the replica Internment Camp she's built in her backyard

9. Instead of taking straw polls, she'll be more productive and build more straw men

8. Can now have the John Doe meetings at her house

7. More time to stalk innocent American families, who may, or may not, be receiving government aid

6. Prank call suicide hot-lines and just giggles ‘Boo-Freakin-Hoo’

5. Try on different blonde wigs, so maybe the Conservatives will like her better than Ann Coulter

4. Secretly go shopping at Crate & Barrel

3. Sit with her Voodoo dolls of Bill O'Reilly and Geraldo Rivera- and a box full of pins

2. Rethink her slander of Sally Field, sit down with some popcorn and the Box DVD Collection of 'The Flying Nun'

1. Write "Thank You" notes to Mitch McConnell and his staff

Bonus M-Squared Riffs

Crooks and Liars: Frost Parents Talk About The Right’s Jihad Against Their Son On Countdown

Sadly No: From Morn To Noon She Fell; From Noon To Dewy Eve…

When A Michelle Malkin Quits The O'Reilly Factor, And No One is Around To Hear it, Does It Make A Sound?

"The Conservatives ... They Like Me ... They Really Like Me ..."

Retro Garlic: I'm Surprised It Wasn't Headlined As "Mormon Candidate Ties To Cosmetic Industry Exposed"

If a Democrat running for President spent $300 on makeup, you can bet your Ann Coulter eye-patch that The Politico, Fox Noise and all the gang over at the Freak Show would have been all over it, knee-deep and calling for more shovels.

Headlines and chyrons screaming "Mormon Candidate Ties To Cosmetic Industry Exposed" and "Makeup Mitt" the title of one of those "I Feel Pretty" YouTube videos.

There'd be Fox Noise satellite trucks criss-crossing Utah, 24/7 on this.

And the money quote;

"He's already tan," she said. "We basically put a drop of foundation on him … and we powdered him a little bit."

Oh man, if it were a Dem, they'd be going to town on that.

And that, more or less, is what the inexhaustible Glenn Greenwald points out today, in his "The Politico sewer", as the Drudge-Wannabe had the Mitt makeup story front-and-center.

But with Mitt being a Republican, no echo chamber on the piece. The second gallery has been deafening silent.

As to the Retro part, go back to May, when Greenwald wrote, more so, exposed, who and what is behind The Politico;

The Politico's DNA ... The Other Iraq ... And He's a Bible-Thumper Now ... Around The Garlic Patch

Weigh in, but only after your nails are dry.

Makeup Mitt

Everybody, Give A Big Hand! ... Let's Welcome NBC's David Gregory To The Freak Show!

Boy, this one nearly knocked me off my seat.

No doubt, the blood sugar may have been a bit low, the morning caffeine hadn’t kicked in yet, and there was the inevitable let down of seeing the Cheneypalooza end last night.

What was this dizzying, shocking, surprising entity that provided this momentary dysfunction?

NBC's David Gregory thinks we just need to "strip away" Ann Coulter's inflammatory rhetoric to listen to her points

Boy, David, as Desi would say to Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do.

Do we have to get John Fund, Dorothy Rabinowitz or Richard Cohen to meet up with you, offering instructions on pulling your head out of your ass? Or can you manage that on your own?

Are you miffed, that the slobbering, fawning, drooling Chris Matthews didn't included a Rap segment on his show with The Coulterzilla the other day? Something you could have just happened to drop by on, and flash those same suave moves you displayed when dancing with Karl Rove?

And this isn't the first time you've used the Rightside/Freak Show smear points in your reporting.

This talk with Elizabeth Edwards ... You dragged out the now-ever-so-tired slam of the expensive haircut, paid speeches (though, to be "fair and balanced", no mention of Rudy911 and his goldmine speaking tour) and then chided Mrs. Edwards that she should have pushed aside all the bullshit Coulterzilla was firing at her and pay attention to "the point she's trying to make" behind it

To her credit, Mrs. Edwards, after laughing at Gregory, delivered a crisp response that basically said "Hey, if you want to side with Coulter, and you don't like my husband, don't vote for him"

Interesting also, in defending Coulterzilla, Gregory left out of the interview how Coulterzilla, just a few days ago, put forth “if I’m going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I’ll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot.”

What was the point behind that one, Gregory?

So David, are you going to go for the gold watch with the Peacock Network, or do we soon see a Press Release fired out on you joining Fox News?

You certainly seem to be going out of your way to impress them.

To steal from a Fox Noise program, "The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day"










Links

Mrs. Edwards responds to Coulter; June 28: She talks to NBC's David Gregory about the clash with Ann and how she hopes "people will speak out" against hate speech (Video)

Edwards equates Coulter’s words to racist ones; Presidential candidate’s wife calls commentator’s remarks ‘hate language’

Losers

Bloggers Are Foul-Mouthed Cranks

Bashing Elizabeth Edwards

It's Tuesday And It's Still A Cheneypalooza! ... ' A Strong Push From Backstage'

Whew ... So much to wade through today ...

The Tabloid Princess was sprung... Thanks to Chris Matthews, the Coltergeist was on the loose... The CIA is shooting for a 30+year mea culpa and Tony Blair has accepted becoming a gloried bike messenger ...

But shining through and above all this is our Cheneypalooza ... And the new series, started Sunday, by the Washington Post, "Angler - The Cheney Vice Presidency"

Over the next four days, The Washington Post will present an in-depth investigation of the vice presidency of Dick Cheney, the most influential and powerful man ever to hold the office. The stories will examine Cheney's largely hidden and little-understood role in crafting policies for the War on Terror, the economy and the environment.

Today's Installment: A Strong Push From Backstage
With A Bonus: Expanding Authority for No. 2 Spot

It's hard to say, and we'll likely never find out, if the Darth Vader man is upset his super-secret-decoder-ring world is being exposed, or if he's getting a woody, seeing his governmental prowess on display, verifying the, up-to-now, long-running joke, on who was really the President in Bush Grindhouse.

Links

Keith Olbermann's 'The world of Dick Cheney' (Video)

A GOP Plan To Oust Cheney

Is Dennis Kucinich (God Help Us) Right (Seriously, God Help Us)?

Standards of American justice under George W. Bush

The Cheese Stands Alone

"I Am Spartacus" ... The Bush Grindhouse and Cheneypalooza

Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Dickie Right Over ... Its' A Cheneypalooza!

Run For Your Lives ... Ann Coulter Alert!

I sensed something terribly wrong this morning.

Car alarms were blaring, for stretches of blocks ... Newly-budding flowers wilted before sunrise ... Dogs and other pets hid under beds, or otherwise found safe cover.

And I could have sworn I saw Kevin McCarthy running down the street, screaming "They're here already! You're next! You're next, You're next..."

What could this be?

Ahhh, the Coulter-meter was pinging off-the-charts.

The doyenne of the Freak Show is untethering herself from the Fox Network, to be on 'Hard Ball with Chris Matthews', the master of the smiling drool, this evening, so have a vomit bag nearby, for either the rank foulness that spews from Coulter, or the overt, drooling and fawning Matthews engages in .

Watch at your own risk.

Bonus Links

American goodwill, in shackles

Good Morning America's Chris Cuomo interviews Coulter, promotes Godless

Top Ten Cloves: Things Ann Coulter Would Spend "Coulter Cash" On

Garlic Exclusive! 1st Draft Of Coulter’s Plagiarism Response: Coulter Speaks (Sort Of)

Update

Ann Coulter Attacks John Edwards On Good Morning America

Update II

Elizabeth Edwards Confronts Coulter During Live Television Appearance


Has Ann Coulter Hit Her Tipping Point?

Top Ten Cloves: Things Ann Coulter Would Spend "Coulter Cash" On

News Item: Edwards Campaign Responds to Coulter Calling Him 'Faggot'

10. All the crème brulee in the whole wide world

9. Take the 9/11 widows to lunch

8. Buy Catholic League President Bill Donohue a date

7. Some new, advanced software, to make it easier to plagiarize

6. An armful of Sean Hannity T-Shirts

5. Lots and lots of Lynne Cheney's books

4. A slew of her own books, to rig her Amazon rating

3. Cover Rush Limbaugh's drug bill

2. Fund Rick Santorum's next WMD hunt

1. Britt Hume, a personality











Coulter may need some of the "Coulter Cash", if more companies pull their ads from her website

Chopped Garlic: Yeah, What Coulter Said Was Horrible, But Did She Write It?

Well, it seems that Darth Vaderess is at it again, insulting and smearing John Edwards... Perhaps one of the questions today is if Coulter actually thought up and wrote that line, or did she continue her behavior of plagiarizing it from somewhere ...

The Garlic got an exclusive last summer, as to the first draft of Coulter's response to plagiarism charges levied at her.

Coulter Speaks (Sort Of) - Garlic Exclusive! 1st Draft Of Coulter’s Plagiarism Response

Links
Here's some good reading you should check out

The Shame Of Ann Coulter by Joe Gandelman

Coulter reference to Edwards as "faggot" gives rise to questions for media

Edwards Campaign Responds to Coulter Calling Him 'Faggot'

Coulter’s Plagiarism Problem

White House Calls Coulter On The Carpet; "Poison" Remarks Force Increase In HSD Budget


What, exactly, kind of rehab is available for Darth Vaderess?

Friday 29 April 2005

Bush May Tap Coulter For Energy Source
Studies Cite Time Cover Girl "Has Enormous Capacity"

Following his Press Conference last evening, President Bush, when pressed by reporters for more details about his proposed Energy Bill, indicated that he is considering asking Congress for appropriations to develop Ann Coulter as an alternative energy source.

"She has enormous capacity" the President said. "Boy, if we could harness just about half of what she puts out, I'll tell you, I wouldn't trade in my SUV"

The right-wing, conservative commentator, recently featured on the cover of Time Magazine, has been a perpetual streak of energy, offering a wide range of criticism, aimed chiefly at Democrats and Liberals, on virtually any topic.

Coulter has attacked, among many, former President Clinton, the late Princess Diana, Ted Kennedy, former Ambassador Pamela Harriman, Vietnam veterans, National Review editor Richard Lowry, Rep. Christopher Shays (D-CT), as well as Hustler publisher Larry Flynt, actress/singer Barbra Streisand and rapper Sister Souljah

She ascribed that Princess Diana and Ambassador Harriman were "whores".

Following the September 11th attacks, Coulter advocated, referring to the terrorists, that we should "invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." Coulter, when criticized for the remarks, defended them, adding further;

"Congress could pass a law tomorrow requiring that all aliens from Arabic countries leave....We should require passports to fly domestically. Passports can be forged, but they can also be checked with the home country in case of any suspicious-looking swarthy males."

President Bush offered that Department of Energy Secretary Samuel W. Bodman had his staff conduct a study of Coulter and, using a complicated formula, the results show that Coulter puts out nearly as much energy as a nuclear reactor.

"I think a lot of neighborhoods wouldn't mind if we built more Ann Coulter's around them", joked the President.

When pressed how he would go about employing Coulter as an energy source, the President stressed that "cloning" would not be involved. He did state that adult stem cells would be involved and the process would be well within Federal guidelines on the use of stem cells.

Bush stated that tapping Coulter as an energy source would be part of the package of the bill he will be sending to Congress. In his Press Conference, Bush challenged Congress to pass the Energy Bill by this summer.

Democrat Leaders were cautious in commenting on the President's proposal. Rep. Nancy Pelosi indicated that "let's wait and see the entire bill … If he's putting something that outrageous in it, there's likely something else that he really wants".

Republicans, upon hearing some of the details hailed the President's choice of Coulter as "bold"

Coulter's commentary and writings are often, over-the-top, cartoonish and very much based in the standard tirades of many other conservative pundits. Coulter often attaches to Democrats and Liberals certain tags and code words, meant to distort the issue and often defends conservatives, citing unending persecution.

Coulter could not be reached, however a representative did confirm the Ms. Coulter has been in talks with President Bush and is thrilled that she could be in position to become an energy source for the nation. The representative offered that Ms. Coulter asked the President if her "energy can only be used in strong, Republican districts"



More Steroid Hearings
The NFL Goes To Congress
McGwire Surprise Witness; Still Not Talking

The National Football League went before Congress on Wednesday, to give testimony as to it's Steroid Policy and the efforts they are employing to keep the illegal drug out.

Commissioner Paul Tagliabue told Congress that since 1989, 111 players have tested positively. Of that group, 54 were suspended and 57 chose to retire. Tagliabue defended the NFL policies, citing that they are effective.

Tagliabue did acknowledge that advances are being made in masking the use of steroids but that is a "overall problem", one not related solely to the NFL.

The Congressional panel complimented NFLPA Director Gene Upshaw, for his involvement and monitoring the league's drug program, highlighting the contrast versus Major League Baseball. In the hearing last month, baseball executives were often confused, or outright wrong, about what their steroid policy was and who was administering it.

In a surprise move yesterday, the panel called back former baseball slugger Mark McGwire. Citing he had the "size of a football player", the panel offered McGwire a second opportunity to offer his testimony as to his steroid use.

McGwire again cited that he doesn't "talk about the past".

McGwire went on to testify that he does watch NFL games, both on television as well as attending in person and is looking forward to the upcoming season this Fall. When pressed by the panel, McGwire did admit that he "occasionally" wagers on football games, both professional and college.