Top Ten Cloves: Things About Christmas Around The Nation's Capital

News Item: Bush's Lame Duck Christmas Dinners: The White House Menus


10. 'Do You Hear What I Hear' ... Even on Christmas, no break from the wiretapping

9. Blackwater USA sings "Sleigh Ride" all year round

8. When John McCain sings "I'll Be Home For Christmas", he has to focus on just one of his seven homes

7. 'Silent Night' is, pretty much, the summation of Condi Rice's tenure as Secretary of State

6. Ted Stevens is afraid to sing "Deck The Halls", fearing it may bring new indictments against him

5. All the Obama Team will say is that he's 'Away In The Manger'

4. For Karl Rove, and his Legacy Project, is all about 'O Come All Ye Faithful'

3. Bob Novak's favorite Christmas tune is 'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer'

2. All of Bush's pardons to cronies are hung by the fireplace with care

1. Cheney's still making the lists, and torturing them twice


Bonus Xmas Links

Wikipedia: Christmas music

Rawlin Blake: Christmas Songs

Santa's Sing-A-Long Christmas Carols

phillyBurbs Staff: Best and worst Christmas songs

Zach Baron: Another Free iTunes Single of the Week: Stephen Colbert's "Another Christmas Song"

Condi Sings Again!

This girl has learned well.

She ain't lettin' no one, nobody, crash her Condoleezza Rice Ballroom Dancing & Charm School, especially the guy who has crapped all over her boss's "Time Horizon".

We refer to this juicy nugget today;

Night before Obama flies abroad, Rice bars embassies from aiding candidates

The night before presumptive Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) left for Afghanistan, Iraq and Western Europe for a tour of US bases overseas, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice issued a cable to US missions forbidding them from holding events for presidential candidates or arrange meetings for them.

Rice issued no such cable prior to foreign excursions by presumptive Republican nominee Sen. John McCain (R-AZ).

"Provide de minimis assistance to the candidate with logistical arrangements," said the cable, according to the Times. "If the campaign staff wants to rent a bus for press, tell them where they can rent a bus."

Hmmm ... She might have been humming her theme song, while composing this cable, or, perhaps, exercising on her elliptical trainer ...

Whatever the case, she wasn't going to get caught flatfooted.

There's only one Iraq legacy on the table, to be hawked and bought, and good work wife Condi was standing by her man.

So, for such decisive, bold action, we pin another song to Condi's music stand.

Sing along, it's from the Beatles.

Don't Help

Don't Help, He may need somebody,
Don't Help, not just anybody,
Don't Help, he'll need someone, don't help.

When Obama was younger, so much younger than today,
He never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now that Hillary's gone, his nomination all but assured
Now I find I've changed my mind and closed the embassy doors

Don't Help him if you can, just let him down
And I do appreciate he gets the runaround.
Don't Help him, let the media give him a crown,
Won't you please, please not help

And now Obama's life has changed in oh so many ways,
Iraqi's dependence on us seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then the legacy is so insecure,
I know that I just need you not to let him in the door

Don't Help him if you can, just let him down
And I do appreciate he gets the runaround.
Don't Help him, let the media give him a crown,
Won't you please, please not help

When Obama was younger, so much younger than today,
He never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now that Hillary's gone, his nomination all but assured
Now I find I've changed my mind and closed the embassy doors

Don't Help him if you can, just let him down
And I do appreciate he gets the runaround.
Don't Help him, let the media give him a crown,
Won't you please, please not help, not help, not help, not help

Bonus Condi Riffs

Rice Audtioning For New Role of Aricept Spokesperson

New Liz Cheney Op-Ed!

Developing Story - Secretary of State Defends “Mushroom Cloud” Prediction; Rice Touts ‘Axis of Evil’ Program As “Wildly Successful” In Wake Of North Korea Nuke Test; AEL Members Adhering To Program; Allows Bush, World “Swift and Unfettered” Rhetoric” As Precursor To Planting Seeds of Democracy

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Condoleezza Rice Becoming NFL Commissioner

Rice Audtioning For New Role of Aricept Spokesperson

As far as legacies go, I guess, you go with the one ya brung ...

And Condi Rice has a death grip on hers, and her work husband, The Commander Guy

Condoleezza Rice Says She's `Proud' of Decision to Invade Iraq

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said she's ``proud'' of the U.S. decision to wage the Iraq war and insisted that the world is not more dangerous than it was when George W. Bush took office.

And, from Think Progress;

“We tend to forget very quickly what Saddam Hussein meant. … In the post 9/11 environment, you couldn’t let a threat to international peace and stability like that remain.” She added:

Yes, it’s been very, very tough. But I know that great historical events go through difficult phases and often emerge with the world left for the better. And I am proud of the decision of this administration to overthrow Saddam Hussein. I am proud of the liberation of 25 million Iraqis.

You can go over to Think Progress to see how forgetful Rice has become.

How's about that "liberation" ... How's that coming?

Key Iraqi Leaders Deliver Setbacks to U.S.; Premier Rejects Terms of Proposed Pacts; Cleric Reactivates Militia

And the guy that wants to pick up the Court-Appointed President's (h/t Barry Crimmins) third term;

McCain defends '100 years in Iraq' statement

A country in shambles and a guy that wants to keep it in shambles for another century

Yeah, that's some legacy, alright ...


Bonus Condi Gems

Top Ten Cloves: Ways White House Is Thinking About To Help Condoleezza Rice Remember Meetings She Attends

Our Girl Condi Gets A Theme Song - Neocons and Lovers

The Condoleezza Rice Ballroom Dancing & Charm School; Or: Shopping For A Legacy on Cyber Monday

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At Jenna Bush's Wedding

News Item: Jenna Bush wedding is a First Family affair

10. Rumor has it, the twins got so trashed, they popped out of the cake at the Bachelor's party

9. We're in Crawford, I thought the President would be in his brush-clearing clothes

8. Someone said he's introducing himself as "Commander Guy of the Bride"

7. Do you believe that Jack Abramoff sent an ashtray he made in prison as a wedding gift

6. I don't see a lapel pin on the President, do you?

5. I heard Bill O'Reilly sent a case of loofahs, with the Fox News logo on them

4. Make yourself scarce ... Rumor has it Cheney wants to go hunting in the morning

3. I don't know how appropriate it is for Condi Rice to be wearing those boots...

2. I heard more than a few people used those Bush Coins to put in their gift envelopes

1. Did you catch the friends of the groom? ... Did you see them roll out a banner - "Mission Accomplished" - right after the I Do's?

Hello Dolly! ... Just In Time For Christmas ...

Well, this was a nice, easy way to softly land back into the grind, after two, much-needed, days' rest.

We hope our Garlic fans had a good Thanksgiving Holiday

In the event you also rested, and didn't take part in the MSM-and-Cable-News Cheerleading extravaganza of the "Black Friday" shopping frenzy (God, it was mind-numbing! Barry Crimmins covered the lead-in, the incessant loop of the travel reports, as if crowded airports the day before a holiday is a one-in-a-hundred-year event).

Apparently they're still following the Bush Grindhouse marching orders of "Go Shopping!".

The only thing that attempted to throw a cross-body block into the orchestrated push to the malls, was the seminal lost white woman story, the new developments in the Natalee Holloway case (which, going unreported, was the contribution of the news media flying to Aruba adding to those travel reports from a packed O'Hare in Chicago)

Too bad no new ripples jetted out of the late Anna Nicole Smith pool, otherwise, we may have actually seen our television sets go into spasms, with the news gatherers hyperventilating just how to divvy up those minutes of airtime.

So it was, over a nice cup of coffee, we espied the Christy Hardin Smith post, over on Firedoglake, "Your Holiday Shopping Conundrums Solved!"

Christy was riffing on an article by Al Karman, in the Washington Post, of a new Donald Rumsfeld doll ('Did You Push My Button? Yes. Am I Going to Talk? You Bet.')

That's right, a toy doll, in the likeness of ol' Rummy that, with the push-of-a-button, will speak classic Rumsfeldian.

Christy put in a call for "other ideas" ...

Sooooo ...

Here it is, The Garlic's recommended addition to your holiday shopping list.

The Bush Grindhouse Dolls

Dick Cheney: Comes with a group of secret playmates that you will be under court order not to divulge the names of and, a extra defibrillator, so you can perform an actual surgical operation, extending the life of your Dick Cheney doll (Coming Soon - The Deluxe Dick Cheney-Wolf Blitzer-Lynne Cheney Smack Down Set ).

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby: Does whatever the Dick Cheney Doll tells him what to do

Condoleezza Rice: Sit Condo down at the piano (included), or have her storm around in her knee-high leather boots ... Be sure to order the half-completed, still-under construction U.S. Iraq Embassy (with new Blackwater USA helicopters), or the Condi-Private Home-Special Companion Doll House)

Rush Limbaugh: New and improved with memory chip ... Take Rush to school with you and get ready for gut-busting laughter as your Rush doll mocks and insults any non-white, or handicapped students in your class

David Addington: Cheney's Cheney ... Comes with a parental warning, as the doll is capable of rewriting your house rules, allowing your child to act in atrocious and despicable ways. Additional warning cautions to be sure about having your child play with the David Addington and John Yoo dolls separately

Colin Powell: Playing with this doll will be like having a pet parrot, as you can have the Colin Powell doll say anything you want it to say (The Whispering George Tenet doll is not included and must be purchased separately)

Tom Delay: Along with quoting Bible versus and uttering completely wrong statements, your home will be rodent-free, as the Tom Delay doll also functions as a working exterminator

Jack Abramoff: Truly a special addition to your child's toy chest, as you stand back and watch the Abramoff doll bribe and make illegal payoffs to all your child's other dolls (Indian Casino sold separately)

Bill O'Reilly: The doll of non-stop, idiotic bluster that's fun for the whole family (Parental Supervision is recommended if this doll was purchased for a girl; A glitch in the programming may have the doll questioning the young female in an inappropriate, sexual manner)

President Bush: The Deluxe Transformer Edition: You can take this Conservative Christian and change him into The Decider Guy, The Commander Guy (Flight suit sold separately), or The Shakespeare Guy.

Whatever you turn your President George Bush doll into, your doll will under-perform, to a high degree, including complete failure (Expect the Consumer Protection Agency and Mainstream Media not to report this, and continually pump up the George Bush Doll as being successful).

Ordering Note

The Ann Coulter Doll is currently unavailable, having been recalled for possible violations, including copyright infringement and plagiarism.

The Dennis Miller Doll has been discontinued due to not coming to terms with the Game Show Network